Use of unnecessary words
example ... "PIN number" aaaaaaaargh.
(JohntheDane, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:56, 2 replies)

A few that I don't think have been mentioned yet
CIA
PIN
IMF
RADAR

Some of those are acronyms, some are initialisations. Learn the difference. On no account refer to TLA syndrome.

...

Contemporary is not a synonym for modern. It means of the same time as. A contemporary Victorian house would have the toilet in the garden. And a contemporary Shakespearean play would be performed in Elizabethan costume.


...

(Usually American) "All priests are not paedophiles" when they mean "Not all priests are paedophiles". The first one implies that NO priests are paedophiles.

...

Infer/imply errors.
(thefuckestuppest cheapened this, on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

And more bigger, most reddest etc.
I hear the juvenile ignorami using bollocks like this all the time, but I heard a teacher saying 'more better' on the radio a few weeks ago and I almost went into fucking orbit. No wonder the country is full of fuckwits.

And 'would of, could of, should of'. I had a full blown argument on a football forum when I pointed out that it's actually 'would have' or 'would've' to someone, it ended up with him questioning my parentage and calling me a fucking snob.

And people are now using 'are' instead of 'our', eg. 'Why don't you come round to are house?'

NNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*takes some more vallium...*
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:44, 8 replies)

I heard one of my company's managers one time saying...
..."no, we're not 'putting people into jobs' (and yes, he did the hand-quotes thing), we're 'facilitating introductions'"

Gob. Shite. Toss. Bag.

This extends to all management-speak nonsense really, which as far as I can tell is a tool used by, well, tools to sound smarter than they actually are. What they don't seem to realise is that it only works on people who aren't actually smarter than them. To those who are it just makes them think:

Gob. Shite. Toss. Bag.

I won't go on. Likely there's oodles of management-speak examples in these pages already.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Hella
"He is hella good looking"
"We had a hella time"
"That was hella cool!"
"That is a hella big zit on your nose"

I'd like to kick the hella out of people who say this.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Not so much the word but the usage.....
You walk into something/trip over/have a minor mishap and somebody female/elderly/elderly and female will say "Careful!!"

I know they mean well but WTF does it mean? Don't do that again? Take more care next time you're in a similar situation?

I have to be careful not to assault them with a claw hammer for wasting words and breath.
(Barnetboy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:23, 2 replies)

"Live and let live"
Well cheers for the advice but I wasn't planning to kill anyone.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:23, 3 replies)

I'm afraid
Me: "Hi there, could I please speak to Mr Fordton?"
Them: "Sorry, but I'm afraid he's in a meeting."
Me: "Really? Well I'm afraid of dying alone unloved and in agony."
Them: "Huh?"
Me: "Don't worry I'll call back later."
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:14, 2 replies)

And Eye Beef Her.
'Have you had a good holiday?'
'yeh fanks'
'Where did you go'
'Eye Beef Her'
'You beef who?'
'y'know, in Spain'

It's pronounced Eeebeetha and you didn't fucking beef anyone. You may have porked someone, but I doubt it, you knob.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:11, 10 replies)

Mrs Duck likes property programs
I watch and seethe

when does "a room" become "a space" for fuckingcuntssake EH?


Fuctard presenter: "I really like what you have done with this space"
Poncer up in chief: "yah the light in this space was so good I needed to make use of it"
Fuctard room owner "it's such a lovely space, I love it"

it's a room, A FUCKING R O O M
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:10, 4 replies)

Life begins at 40
Not for John Lennon it fucking never.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:05, 3 replies)

Help me ...
I used the phrase "escalate went necessary" in an email this morning when I should have just shut the fuckup ...

Make it quick!
(Biff..., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:03, Reply)

kinda topical
the next person who tells me they have a 'six month anniversary' or similar, is going to experience the deep and life-affirming joy of having me print out, on the largets format plotter i can on very sharp heavy paper, the definition and origins of the word 'anniversary' and permanently and irreversably jam it into their lower sigmoid colon using nitromors as lube.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:03, 6 replies)

Well, y'know, I think, y'know....
Drives me fucking batshit. And once I notice someone saying it, it totally ruins the piss poor listening experience that I'm having. Linford Christie is the worst perpetrator of this verbal evil, closely followed by David Fucking Beckham.

'When, y'know, I won the 100, y'know, metres at the, y'know, Olympics in Barce, y'know, lona....'

Twunt.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:03, 1 reply)

Portraying a foreigner speaking English
annoyingly features at least one use of "er, how do you say...". Why? Do non-English speaking individuals actually say that in the middle of the sentence?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:52, 8 replies)

In a perfect world...
It's just meaningless. It's always followed by something like "...patients in A and E departments would be seen within two hours."
What sort of perfect world features accidents and emergencies then?
(Sherbet, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:38, 2 replies)

Jingles. You know, the Intel bongs, the Smash tune, the 'Pee See Wooorld' song.
They're called jingles, right? Always have been, right? Wrong. The ex is in marketing. They're called 'sonic mnemonics' now. Wankers.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:38, 2 replies)

On the bag of oven chips
before it even says "Preheat the oven to gas mark 9", they've put:

mmm, chips

How wank is that?

Also, I don't care much for the labels on Homepride sauces referring to themselves in the first person.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:32, 1 reply)

My most annoying word is
Specificity. It's a fucker to say. Try it with out stopping halfway through.
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:51, 3 replies)

Shame on us Brits
When I saw a stand up comedian in New York he was using my group of friends to take the piss out of how English people overuse strong adjectives like “brilliant” and “nightmare” for trivial matters.

e.g. “In the US, if we saw a blind kid solving a Rubik’s Cube with his toes – THAT would be “brilliant”. But in the UK: “Hi mate, have you got change for a pound? You have? Brilliant!””

*similar exaggerated story for the word nightmare. “In the UK: “Oh I’ve spilt mustard on my collar- nightmare”.

It’s true. We do. Brilliant.
( awayfromthenumbers, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:25, 10 replies)

Up here in the great frozen wastes of Scotland
when we talk, we tend to pronounce the word "I" as "ah". To me, this is as it should be, and all is right in the world.

I also, when texting a friend or chatting on some social networking site with a fellow scot, have been known to write things as I would say them phonetically, like "Aye that wid be aboot right" or "Jeezo ma heed is sair this mornin". (It can lead to some amusement, as I once received a text claiming "Ma wife just emptied the fridge cos o the smell in the kitchen, but it turned oot it was your pants and sokes in the washin machine." after I'd left some clothes at my friends house.)

However, when I see someone has typed the word "I" as "A", it always makes my brain throb. I have no idea why. A have no idea why (Nnnngggngnnggg). Maybe because I'd probably say "av" rather than "a have."
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Idiots...
... who mistake "breath" for "breathe" e.g. "I had to get out - I couldn't breath".

And "loose" for "lose" e.g. "Where did you loose it?" when they aren't asking about an arrow.

Also, tangentially, idiots who can't tell the difference between bad spelling and bad typing.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:18, 15 replies)

"Bless you!"
Not the phrase itself, but the offence some people take when I don't utter it after they sneeze (what with me being neither religious nor superstitious).
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:17, 4 replies)

I've just thought of a whole raft
Posh, confident young children. Anything they say at all.

When Tarquin announces "Oh mummy you ARE a silly!", or "Well I'm not too keen on that because it's too noisy for my taste".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:00, Reply)

People who say VW...
When it's more syllables than just saying Volkswagen. It's like they're unknowingly failing to be lazy.

It's annoying when a written abbreviation can take longer to say than the actual word. Although most of the time this is when there are w's.

I hate saying "www." but I doubt if anyone says "World Wide Web".

I always say "zero" instead of "o" if it's a number. But if you press 1471 they'll "o" so I guess it's acceptable??
( awayfromthenumbers, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:57, 9 replies)

Validation
Now that I've stopped porking American birds (for the moment), I haven't heard this little gem in a while: "I totally validate what you're saying."

So I need your fucking permission to be angry because of something you've said or done? Take your fucking validation and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Oh, and learn to speak English. The correct way to say it is, "I'm sorry that I upset you. How may I make amends?"
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:49, 3 replies)

Mate
I hate being called Mate. People that use the word rarely mean that I am their mate or friend or casual acquaintance. Most of the time they don't even know me.

Why oh why do they do it?
(BearWithLittleBrain, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

So there I am/was
We don't care, shut up!
(Feeb is a smooth operator, operating correctly, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:12, 2 replies)