Hen Parties
Fat drunkards wandering round town with stupid children's fairy wings on and a fuckin tutu, shrieking at each other & everyone else until they:
-vomit
-piss themselves
-start crying
-pick a fight with a doorman
-all of the above.
(simon shitting mason, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:04, 3 replies)

Oh, and as for Associated Dairies...
It's a fucking supermarket. Of course it's common. We can't all shop at Fortnum & Masons.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 21:04, Reply)

I fucking love salad cream.
But I'd never put it on a salad. No, a salad calls for something made up of extra virgin olive oil, 7 years aged balsamic vinegar of Modena, the finest crushed oak-smoked garlic and large whole-grain mustard, all left to marinade in the cupped palm of a Mediterranean virgin.
Salad cream goes on fish finger butties. And they're fucking ace.
( rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:57, 1 reply)

Regional Accents
...are surely, by definition, NOT common?

It really does my head in when people say they're common.

Yes, I hate the North-eastern dialect as much as the next man but anything that is a indicator of heritage and history is something to be celebrated, not homogenised.

I'd rather listen to thick Wolverhampton than tedious Estuary or Home Counties, thankyou.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:56, 4 replies)

THIS
www.viceland.com/int/dos_donts/1187/main.jpg?19872
(papa bouba slap your face, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:50, 3 replies)

Part 2
7. Women over the age of 35 who dance with their arms in the air. You don't look sexy, you look like a nasty old scrubber, keep your arms by your side.
Nothing on Earth will prevent them from looking like their Nan dancing once the age of 35 is reached, it's one of those activities that betrays the participant no matter how carefully she has layered on the Polyfilla or dressed up. You can see those over 35 at a glance when looking at a room full of dancing people. The ones with their arms in the air need to be quietly taken to one side and made to sit down, they are on the verge of blowing a gasket and wetting themselves, or worse, embarrassing their family and friends.
NOT sexy, NOT Madonna, just COMMON.

8. The same category of woman above who, whilst meandering to the taxi rank at 3am, simply MUST demonstrate their pole-dancing skills on the posts holding the bus shelter up.
FFS woman, behave, your kids would be mortified.....
Oh no, her daughter is holding her handbag and braying with laughter. God help us all.

9. People who think it is classy to drink the nastiest, weakest, cheap piss about simply because it is Mexican. With a bit of fucking lime in the bottle. Yes, I'm talking about Corona, to Mexicans, the equivilent of Tesco Value Lager.
Eeeh, in my day Corona was green fizzy pop delivered by a lorry to your house. (Well, not our house, because we were erm......common. Shit.)
(Rsoles, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:49, 9 replies)

Interest in common affairs
A friend's wife once declared that she doesn't bother with the news because it's boring and depressing.

She's also a dinner-lady
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:49, Reply)

Lee Evans
and obesity
(GrimbleGromble, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:46, Reply)

If you relate to
The Royle Family and think it's a fly on the wall documentary...
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:40, Reply)

Wakefield
And Dewsbury to
( ratman, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:37, 6 replies)

shopping
Cash converters and even more so, Bright House.

No credit checks, buy a £300 tv for £4.50 a week over 150 weeks.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:24, 3 replies)

Red Beer
The only time my parents drink Red Beer is with our relatives from South Dakota (pretty much all common there).

Take 1 pint beer (most likely Miller or Budweiser), add tomato juice, and drink before 11 am.
(b3kaMN, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:14, 2 replies)

The new Mini
They're pretty common, aren't they? I mean, it seems that every third car that passes me on the A1 as I drive along in our beaten up, but still sound in terms of engine and bodywork 'L' reg Peugeot 306, is a new Mini.

You could say that they are the automotive equivalent of a clitoris.

Every cunt's got one.





Ba-dum tish, thank you very much. etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:11, Reply)

Students
Has anyone else noticed they have their own 'accent'?
(suicidalducky has too much time on his hands, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:08, 8 replies)

I'm about to go to the chippy
In my hair dying trackies, a towel round my head (with hair dye in it) and a hoodie. Am I common?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 20:00, 1 reply)

This says it all really...
Pure genius:
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3-DK9VNLziI
(wrigglesworth, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 19:58, 5 replies)

Posh
My best mate was once accused of talking posh.
He replied, "I do not talk posh: You talk common"
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 19:40, Reply)

Creating...
a new thread on a website in response to anything
( has two cups and one chick, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 19:28, 1 reply)

Prepaid electricity.
Anyone with a tattoo on their neck, men wearing diamond earrings, shit modified cars, gambling machines, all-you-can-eat restaurants, scotch eggs, shouting in public places.
(daveywavey123, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 18:35, 4 replies)

Basingstoke
If you've been there no further explanation required
(Outtheresomewhere, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 18:34, 1 reply)

Well, I suppose being ex-millitary I must accept that I could be classed as 'common as muck'.
I don't ever remember dinner being seved on a tablecloth or anything and the language was positively shocking and I must confess to doing one or two frighfully common things to some of the chaps.

I remember one in particular. We had all gone to Dartmoor for a nice day out. That evening our trucks arrived back at camp and as I got out of the back I handed a Sainsbury's Carrier bag to the training officer. He had been very horrid that day and made us do some jolly unpleasent tasks. I walked off and left it with him. You see, I had been taken short on the way back in the back of the truck and had to empty my bottom.

I would have loved to have seen his face when he opened it. I was told it was one of pure horror followed by the stamping of feet and my surname bellowed out at such a volume, it caused fat people to wobble over a mile away.
He was a mad as hell and punnished me quite heavily. Imagine how cross he was a few weeks later when I popped one in his lunch box.

Of course, I don't really regard myself as common anymore
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 18:00, Reply)

I'm a southerner....
And I can kick some ass if I have to, but you can't beat the Northerners for some good all out chavvy violence...

I watched Dog Soldiers (again) last night (channel 5, anyone else see it?) and cracked up at the bit where the Northerner guy gets sent outside to distract the werewolves, which he does by waving a flare and shouting COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH!!!
Also, Werewolf attacks Scottish soldier, soldier screams FUUUUCCCKKK OFFFFF!!!! And twats it one.
And earlier mentioned Northerner get trapped in the kitchen with a big ass snarling werewolf and no weapon, what does he do, gets his fists out and beats it up! And right before he gets eaten, he utters the wonderful line......... I hope I give you the shits!

I love northerners, me!

Love from a Southern Fairy *You'll say it if I don't!*
(leglesss let that be a lesson to you, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:55, 3 replies)

keeper rings
nuff said
(ingus mcfly to heaven for the weather and hell for the company, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:52, 1 reply)

PS3
Common is ......
Someone making an insurance claim for a PS3 but due to stocking issues the replacement was delayed, the person tried to calim for money to send her son to the cinema for something to do! do we nbot have the inteligence to entertain ourselves for free? Parks? Walks? Bike ride? Board Games? Talking? or is it just me who thinks this way
(ingus mcfly to heaven for the weather and hell for the company, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:44, Reply)

Apparently...
Tapeltu is common.

Although I've never met him.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:32, 3 replies)

How To Tell If You're Common
I've devised a simple two question test to work out which social class you belong to;

1. Do you have Sky? (That's satellite TV to you foreign folk).

2. Do you wee in the bath? (When you're in it obviously, not just if you're a really, really bad shot).

If your answer to both of these questions is yes then you're common, congratulations! One yes and one no means you're comfortably middle class and answering no to both means that your butler is reading this post aloud to you so you don't have to strain your dainty upper class eyes.

Easy yet effective no? Remember, if you suspect someone of being middle class, always make sure they have Sky before touching them.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:32, 5 replies)

Last week in Camden
My mate and I were just out of the tube station at the chippy next to it, waiting for a mate to her get food.

Somebody approached my mate, and said 'gizza fag'.

My mate obviously said no.
C: Why not?
M: Because..
C: Please give me a fag.
M: No
C: Look, I've said please. If I say please, then you give me a fucking fag. I didn't HAVE to say please, I could have just punched you and took it off you. You got to learn some respect, innit.


What is it with chavs and this respect they think they're entitled to, without actually giving it?!

My mate gave him a rollup eventually, because we instantly thought 'crackhead'.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:30, 1 reply)

I'm American.
'Nuff said?
(douchebarge, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:21, 1 reply)

i had to re-read this a few times
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2008/07/15/police-dog-mauls-nurse-100252-21341972/

Honest, thats her real name 'Chelsea Birkenead'

not a place, but a girls name.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:21, 3 replies)