Slightly off-topic, but needs saying.
While I wouldn't say its 'common' in the class sense of the word, this issue gets right on my tits and its all over this QOTW.

Rant on...

People who complain about regional accents, their associated idioms and non-RP pronunciation are total CUNTS. That's YOU, yes YOU Mr/Ms twat, who has just been the 53rd person to post up another hilarious post, bemoaning the fact that with over 300 million people speaking English as a 1st language on the planet, there are some regional variations. How fucking dare the world not all speak exactly the same version of standardised English?

Language is organic and constantly evolving, why is this offensive to some people? If you have ever read Chaucer, Shakespeare or Wordsworth you would realise this and not be such a snobby cock-snot? Christ, talk your own grandparents and they will probably speak differently to you, I guess that means 'grad-pappa' is wrong.

Spoken English is not subject to the same rules of the written word. There is no 'right way' to speak English, the only rule is that you do your best to get your point across to your audience.

Before I get flamed, I want to point out I understand the difference between banter and snobbery. Banter is when I mock my common as pig shit step dad for his black country accent. Fucking scumbag.

Rant off...
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 7:05, 13 replies)

I was gobsmacked tonight.
I asked my boyfriend to honestly tell me what he thought was common about me so I could post it on the QOTW.

His response: "Well, you certainly carry yourself with class and are obviously smart. The only thing I'd say was common about you is that you don't have a degree, but you make up for it in your demeanour about everything"

I almost cunted him in the fuck. And told him that. He laughed and thought it was the funniest expression in the world.

I'm from Hull, for fucks sake, how can he say I have class?????? *sobs*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 6:49, Reply)

Double barrel names
Want to appear 'un-common'? Changing your name from an honest popular British one to a double barrelled combination to appear 'classy'.
Your friends and family will be so impressed they'll bow and curtsey in your presence.
(reinvented, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 6:45, 1 reply)

Common?
Simple one-liners with no elaboration or qualification.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 5:52, Reply)

Photos...
Of babies with a beer can...*tut*
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 5:46, 1 reply)

Bunny Show Jumping

'nuff said.
(goorf, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 5:38, Reply)

Scone or Scon(e)
You decide!!
( lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 5:23, 3 replies)

I'm that common i don't know what a toilet brush is for:

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 3:40, 2 replies)

burbing in the open
I release a tremendous amount of gas. My friends would often refer to me as Mr.Gaseous. My vocal gas emissions can be particularly loud, especially when working in the garden. Bending and stretching whilst doing the weeding causes trapped wind to escape. Consequently, I overhead my neighbour complaining (in Thai, as I live in Thailand) that we must be keeping pigs or frogs in the garden. Disgusting foreigner.
(Evilsquirrelboy, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 3:40, Reply)

I gave someone a lift to their aunties
And she called their lounge "the communist room", seriously what the fuck?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 3:37, Reply)

Chavs.
And their offspring.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 3:37, Reply)

New Zealand Commons
I spent most of my life living in London, but emigrated to rural New Zealand about ten years ago.

I was at the supermarket at 8am last Saturday morning, and saw a woman shopping wearing her dressing gown and slippers. Her two kids were in their pajamas and also wearing slippers.

What sort of common lazy defiler do you have to be to leave the house with getting dressed?

On another note, food consumed during the middle of the day definitely is LUNCH, and food consumed after 5pm is DINNER. TEA is an infusion based hot drink.

Final note, there has been a lot of criticsm of woman over 40 wearing slutty or revealing clothes. I am all for this behaviour as I positively enjoy spanking my monkey over glammed up, council estate slappers and grannies with cum dribbling out of their asses and fannies.

So there.
(Mandrill, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 3:20, 11 replies)

My surname is Greene
It should be Green (with no 'e' on the end) but my grandmother changed it when they were married, I guess it was to common for her sophisticated taste. So now my branch of the family doesn't match the rest of the family.

These days she has dementia so bad you can't even talk to her.

Who's common now Granny?
( Krog3r has acquired some deceant lurkage, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 3:02, Reply)

Lipstick
Pale lipstick combined with dark lipliner.

Ugh. Just ugh. Why do some people still do this?
( gypsy turnips, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 2:31, 4 replies)

I already mentioned bad hair extensions, but it's made me think of something else.
The really long hair extensions under a short, heavily layered, almost mullet-like haircuts seem to be very popular among teenaged girls in my town. Along with their clumpy layers of mascara and super pale lipstick.

These clones all hang around in the shopping centre taking photos of themselves on their camera phones. I've noticed that their common photo pose has the following characteristics:

1. face tilted to one side.
2. eyes looking upwards and sidewards.
3. mouth pulled into some sort of 'pout' which only serves to give the appearance of a cat's arse.

They then take about 30 photos in the same pose and post them all over their bebo sites.

That seems pretty common to me.
( gypsy turnips, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 2:29, 2 replies)

Snobbery in Hull
is pissing into the sponge and squeezing it in the sink.

Actually getting out of the bath to pee is a bit too far.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 2:16, Reply)

Me, apparently
if the answers to this QOTW are anything to go by.

*feels judged*

*sobs*
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 1:20, 1 reply)

This:
www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=54021&in_page_id=34

and this:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7522952.stm
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 1:12, 4 replies)

Just remembered a good one
About my friend K.

K isn't exactly small at 6'6", and he's pretty heavily built with it. He also (as his size might suggest) has an appetite fit for a herd of Elephants, and he never lets little things like common sense and taste hold him back.

We were in Waitrose one day (having just been gently harassing one of our mutual friends who worked as a till monkey), when K decides he is hungry. He wants cereal.

So we go to the cereal isle. K sees the cereal he wants. It's one of those fecking enormous catering-size boxes. So he buys it. And a wooden spoon. And a small carton of milk.

Guess what he did as we left the shop and started walking through the centre of town?

He lived 5 minutes walk away ffs. He just couldn't be bothered.


.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 1:01, Reply)

Text speak
I cut the below from a facebook group site:

"ope trish turns up safe n well,my forts r wiv al family, friends n associates t trish .best of luck ye n try n stay strong 4 da nxt hurtin person goin thru dis agony wiv u ,im opin 4 a happy outcum along wiv evry1 else XxX"

I can cope with it on a text message (though I did once refuse a second date with a bloke on the grounds of too much text speak - he doesn't know that though), you're trying to save space etc, but there is no excuse for it on facebook etc. Its free! Use as much space as you want!

While I'm on it, the constant misuse of their / they're / there, your / you're and people using 'borrowed' instead of 'lent' and 'learnt' instead of 'taught'. And misuse / complete failure to use punctuation. Which should ensure that I've misused punctuation somewhere in all this which some kind b3tard will point out to me and I'll be suitably embarrassed.

Ooooh I like this weeks QotW!
(G-Lo, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:47, 6 replies)

Smith
My mothers maiden name was Smith, which was/is pretty common.

Everyone wants to change the name from that.

Thing is it gets to be silly when I'm asked a security question of 'Your Mothers Maiden name?" on various online forms.

I enter 'Smith' and most of the time it is rejected as me being either a computer trawling the site or a bot.

You can't win.
(Opanoid Look sweats dripping off them, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:33, Reply)

Saying "If I was you"
It's "If I were you", although obviously since "was" is used for the past subjunctive of "to be" so much in other contexts, I suppose the grammar-nazi jury's out on this one. But I cringe whenever I hear it.
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:33, 10 replies)

What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison?

You can't wash your hands in a Buffalo...







edit: needs to be read (out-loud?) in heavy Birmingham accent.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:23, 1 reply)

I'm dead posh me
I even get out of the bath to take a piss
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:22, 6 replies)

Lack of respect, common sense and manners = common as muck.
My Mum came from from the slums of Horbury, Wakefield, married a Canadian soldier and moved to Smalltown, Ontario ......
but I think I turned out alright.
(OGH, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:59, Reply)

Spitting in public
Good grief, can you not keep your saliva in your mouth instead of expelling it all over the floor? Why do some people feel the constant need to keep their mouth excessively dry. The only situations in which this is acceptable is if your mouth is bleeding profusely, or if you have some kind of hideous disease of the oral cavity, in which case, why haven't you been to the doctor yet?

And its ten times worse if you're spitting chewing gum onto the pavement.
(Urban Hermit Exit, pursued by a bear on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:56, 3 replies)

Pooter commoners
People on msn messenger who insist on having names like:

^&&(&Alice(L)Liam4eva******\~~~~~~
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:31, 4 replies)

Dear Lord...
Things that make me shudder uncontrollably mainly involve people's cars for some reason and have to include....

'Bumper' stickers (including the internal notices - 'princess on board' etc), furry steering wheels, 5,000 stuffed toys on the parcel shelf, Playboy motiffs - anywhere, 'spinners' - aaagh, blue underlighters, covered tissue boxes on the parcel shelf and any meccano looking additions to the body work by way of crap spoilers, etc...

Ooooooh, shudder.
(Senora Veranos cannot and will not so ner..., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:27, 9 replies)

People who think England
has 3 syllables in it.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:22, 4 replies)

Everyone on my bus home from work
Except this one girl who wears the red coat. She's purdy. But they all glare at me for having my iPod on loudly. Note to bus companies - I will abide by your notices to be considerate when using an mp3 player when you put up a sign telling people to keep their inane bullshit nattering to a minimum too.

I shouldn't post this late, I get all disjointed and ranty.
(GONEism, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:19, 7 replies)