I Went to the Dentist Yesterday...
And after half an hour of having an Indian bloke drilling holes in my mouth, I still have a fucked tooth. It's so sharp i feel like i have a tiny Irish man slicing my tongue with a box cutter.
(GSM, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 3:41, Reply)

Not really a fear, but lack of anaesthetic...
I fear gynaecologists as much as most people fear dentists--same thing, really--someone poking in a sensitive part of your body with mucuous membranes with cold metallic instruments, causing pain lasting for days on end, urgh.

The last time I went to the dentist I had to have TWO shots of anaesthetic 'cause I'm such a fucking alkie. And that was just a filling, urgh. The worst horror story I have is of this big, enormous Nazi nurse bitch, ripping out one of my wisdom teeth before the anaesthetic had started working. Come to think of it, gingers need more anaesthetic anyway, from what I've read. So if that happens to you fellow gingers out there, just say that there are medical studies on teh Intarwebs proving that gingers need more anaesthetic.
(Auntie Dalek molester extraordinaire, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 2:52, Reply)

Anaesthetic?
I went for a checkup some years ago with a loose tooth, I was fairly content to let nature take its course. So I recline in the chair and a Christopher Lee type prods said tooth and proclaims "hmm, you've got a loose tooth", at which point he proceeds in gripping it twixt thumb and forefinger and giving it a jolly good yank. Not much pain, but the sheer surprise did make gag on the blood trickling down my throat.
( jonbob loves you, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 1:46, Reply)

I like going to the dentist
but I never understood why people don't. My theory as a child was all the driving involved. My mother insisted that we use a dentist in Toorak, an upper class suburb nearly two hours away by car.
( Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 1:20, Reply)

Dental torture
Having a tooth removed. Didn't want to come out. Dentist ended up clamping it with the pliers, tugging as hard as he could, actually standing on the chair around my head so he was pretty much straddling my face. He still had to pull and twist for about 10 minutes.

Bastard thing came out with a giant spurt of blood, which was rather cool to watch.

Later that day the pain of the trauma my gums had suffered hit me, and I went into shock. A pansy-tastic ending.
(bad1dea, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 1:07, Reply)

My current dentist looks like Nick Hancock.
When I was about nine I got two abscesses on opposite sides of my mouth. After a couple of days of soup and soggy cornflakes I went to the dentist, and she said "The roots are infected, I'm afraid they'll have to come out." So she gave me a shot of anaesthetic on each side, and started pulling. Only there was one small problem: if you have an abscess, anaesthetic doesn't tend to work. So, ignoring my screams, she braced her leg on the chair and yelled at me to "think of nice things! Think of the Christmas Day Kitten!" (a really depressing picture book about a cat who gives birth and then dies). The holes then bled for about five hours.

I also have a false corner on one of my front teeth, caused by falling off my mum's bike at a similar age. Occasionally it drops off and I look like I've been in a fight. This happened last summer two days before I was due to go to Italy on holiday. And the day after was a fucking Bank Holiday. First thing Tuesday morning I was in the dentist's waiting room with a thick book, fully expecting to be there all day. About ten minutes later they told me "Your dentist is on holiday, but Mr Randomdentist can see you...". I went upstairs and told him what I needed doing:
Dentist: I see. Does it bother you cosmetically?
Me: Uh, just a bit. I'm going on holiday in 15 hours and I really need it doing.
Dentist: Ah yes, I can see why. Where are you going? *poke*
Me: Isshaly.
Dentist: Can't have you scaring off all those nice Italian men...
Me: *eyeroll, as unable to respond*.
So glad he's not my dentist, even if he did fix it.
( Maladicta, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 1:03, Reply)

I needed braces...
My bastard orthodontist decided it was a good idea for me to have 4 teeth removed to make room for my front teeth to move back into (both top and bottom set) for when I had my braces inserted. So, off I went to my regular dentist (a thoroughly nice guy) ready for my gums to be shredded. Now, I should mention that I have a great fear of needles...and pain, so I was understabley nervous and, well, shitting it.

After the usual chit chat Mr. Dentist stuck a few needles in my mouth (I forget how many) then left the room to allow my mouth to numb. I recall finding the rubbery texture of my dead lips fascinating, but not the constant drooling that accompanied the numb sensation, for I looked like a spack.

Anyway, he came back and proceeded to pull out my teeth with a hefty set of pliers, 1...out without too much trouble, 2...no problem, 3...easy.

Now, the forth tooth is where the problem lay. He tried for almost a minute pulling at it with no avail. He disappeared from my view only to return with a minature pick, to chip away at some part of my tooth. At this point I was, once again, shitting it. Eventually he got the pliers out again and twisted the tooth in my gum while still pulling, till it eventually came out. Unfortunately for him, his grip on the tooth wasn't very good. It ended up flying across the room, bouncing off a filing cabinet finally ending up in...the dental assistants eye.

I'll spare you the details, but there was much blood and spazzing out involved.
(The_Bear_Extraordinaire, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 0:38, Reply)

Special
I am yet to have a filling, or a tooth extracted, or braces. Am I doing something special? I have a private dentist (cause the NHS is crap), does that have anything to do with it? Or could it be the fact that i actually clean my teeth? I swear if you need fillings you aren't doing it right.
I actually like the dentist, get to sit down in a big leather chair, teeth feel all clean, etc.
(RooRooRasputin Lover of the Russian Queen, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 23:49, Reply)

In The Beginning..
..there were the Mutant Teeth. My back milkies were appearently overstaying their welcome, causing the front ones to come through in wierd places, making me look like a shark and breathe like Darth Vader. Braces, booms the dentist to my parents. But nothing can be done until all the teeth come thorugh. So lets rip out all the milk ones to hurry them up shall we? (Mercifully in batches). We have to leave SOME in there to let her eat and stuff.

So aged around 12, I had to choose between looking like a freak, or allowing a rural Welsh incompetent loony to stick antique giant metal syringes in my mouth. OOWWWWW. Seriously, this thing looked it belonged in a museum.
The piss anaesthetic didn't work, so usually about 3 or 4 of these bastard shots went in before I'd realise the pain was about the same as having the teeth ripped out anyways (shallow roots), and lying would allow escape all the sooner.
One benefit was the recommendation of icecream to numb the pain/slow bleeding. So Dad would dutifully trot into a shop afterwards to get one while I spat blood into tissues. Once the bastard dentist ripped 4 out at once. Bleeding so bad whole mouth filled up, I panicked and ran to a bin, leant over and appeared to puke blood into it, to the horror of a group of grannies stood nearby. Then had to fob them off until Dad arrived as I couldnt speak without more blood dribbling out.

Mmmmmm... blood-flavoured icecream..

Now I have a uber-campmeister French dentist, who plays cheesy francaise pop CDs at you, dances about, and is disconcertingly "touchy feely"; lots of pattings on the shoulder and little gay-fashion-designer tsks/exclaimations. Its frighteningly effective at distracting you from the immediate pain/fear.

B3tans, go to France - the fillings are cheap, they have posh fancy lasers and stuff, and the "experience" is "interesting"..
(Hikikomori** watching cartoons on, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 23:45, Reply)

Evilness
I'm pretty sure the dentist I used as a teenager hated life and took it out on those getting free dental treatment. I remember once getting a tooth taken out, and the local hadn't worked. I could feel every movement of the drill against my nerve, and I winced, scrunched my face and sucked inwards to try and get the message across.

After the procedure, he turned to me and said "I could see by the look on your face that the anaesthetic didn't work."

If I didn't think I'd sound like a spaz replying with half of my mouth numb, I would have told him exactly what I thought of him.

Bastard!
(uncle_bob, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 22:43, Reply)

Such a nice man.
My dentist was doing his usual check up of my teeth, then he said 'Wow. That enamel is really white. I've never seen it so clean before. Well done. I'm impressed."

This was quite good coming from a dentist so I felt quite pleased as I opened my eyes.

His assistant was scrubbing out the sink.
(ladyintheradiator, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 22:24, Reply)

My dentist died.
It would have been saddder if my mother hadn't referenced it so offhandedly...

Me (after yearly appt): What happened to Dr. Buckner?
Mom: Oh. He died.

Oh... stories.

I had a tooth drilled and I swear it smelled like popcorn. After, I had to work at the movie theater where I work. I still get phantom pains every time the popcorn machine starts working.
(I bape rabies Let's go get Chick-fi-A!, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 21:56, Reply)

Dentist tales
I´ve had a few teeth out (had to get general anaesthetic coz I was only 10 and didn´t like the idea of a large man with big metal pliers forcibly removing my pearly whites...) Remember waking up crying and spitting blood, but not much pain. Should probably go to the dentist more often (last time I went I was told I need a filling but as I´ve since left the country it still needs doing). No reason not to go, I´ve not had any horror stories myself, guess I´m too lazy. Hmmm.... that´s it really, not a great QOTW for me.
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 21:05, Reply)

Also
I had my wisdoms extracted under a local. If that don't deserve kudos I don't know what does!
(bensMum I'm a tart. Why can't you cope with that?, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 20:02, Reply)

Ok so like for YEARS I
had a massive dentist phobia............I mean proper fecking Huge.
Needless to say my toothy pegs were in a not so pretty state. Then a pretty well off cool kind of geezer asked me for a date. Luckily for me he was the dynamic type so it was arranged for a couple of weeks in advance. I suddenly overcame my deep rooted fears and found a seemingly understanding dentist via the Wonderful Web..........and fearfully went along. She was awesomely understanding. And after several hours of extreme discomfort, directly into the palate [do you know how much they hurt?] so called pain killing jabs, a root canal and four veneers at a total cost of three & half grand I got some damn good width not to mention the length.
It all fizzled out in the end as these things tend to do, but the memories will last a life time and I have some shit hot looking teeth to this day
(bensMum I'm a tart. Why can't you cope with that?, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 19:57, Reply)

Dentist
Am utterly head over heels in love with my dentist, so enjoy going - would even consider pulling out some teeth just for the privaledge of sitting in his chair...

Unlike most dentists, he's young, blonde and from SWEDEN!!

Greets you with 'Hey babez, chill out it will be ok yes? Just be cool babez'. Sooo dreeeeaaamy
(Strangemiester, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 19:18, Reply)

I had a German orthodontist.
When you have your eyes closed under those bright lights, in a big disinfected medical chair while the latex fingers get your teeth in the right position, and a big German voice says "Open vide pleeease", your brain thinks one word.

Mengele.

I'm so sorry, Germany.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 19:17, Reply)

no dentist
i have never been 2 a dentist.
i regret it when i have a tooth acke
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 18:56, Reply)

When I was a kid
my dentist broke one of my teeth and give me three fillings i didn't need (one fell out after a few weeks) but my dad kept making me go back cos he fancied her.
(deadly, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 18:46, Reply)

Anesthetic?
Once had a filling done by a NHS dentist (during primary school) without an anesthetic. Dentist assured me I wouldn't feel a thing, "Don't need one son, it's just a small filling, it'll be done in no more than twenty minutes." Aye, try telling the ten year old that ten minutes into the most excruciating agony he had ever felt in his life at that point.

"Never having one of those again," I remember thinking.

Thirteen fillings (with anesthetic) later...
(Rob Roy The Postie is looking for alternative employment, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 18:33, Reply)

It's way too long, it's not my story, it's not true, and it's not funny
But it's one of my favourite Dentist stories. It's from one of my favourite books - Cryptonomincon by Neal Stephenson. I highly recommend it.
Edit: Can't post the whole thing - it's just too much - Read it here
(Garnett, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:44, Reply)

Did anyone in Croydon or Tulse Hill ever see this shyster?
thescotsman.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=76802006
(lolwhites, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:36, Reply)

which way round?
i went in to have my bottom left wisdom tooth out and before the dentist started, he got out the x-ray of my whole mouth - one of the big smiley shaped ones. he pointed out that the one on the right was growing at a dodgy angle and IF i needed that one out it would probably be a bit awkward and probably a lot more painful (as he might need to remove a bit of my jaw bone!) than the nice, straight one i was having out that day.

"ah! how painful can it be?", thought i.

anyway, i lay back in the chair, he injected the anaesthetic and we were under way. after about 5 minutes of delving around and slicing of gums, he paused, gave a 'huh?' kind of sound and moved over to his desk. i glanced over to see him carefully peel off the sticker on my x-ray, turn it over and stick it on the other side! he'd only been looking at the x-ray the wrong way round and therefore at the wrong fricking tooth and i was actually having the awkward one taken out.

fucksocks

what happened in the next hour can only be described as the single most painful experience of my life as he prodded, probed and drilled the wonky tooth to buggery. in the end he had to 'saw' it into slices and remove the pieces one by one.

i spent the afternoon in shock, lying in bed crying, with my mum patting my head saying "there there"
(secretsquirrel, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:33, Reply)

I was an evil dentist
When I was five I knocked one of sister's teeth out.

It's not as bad as it sounds - firstly it was a dead milk tooth that was practically hanging off her gum and secondly she asked me to do it.

I'm not sure she expected it straight away though. She said "I wish someone would knock this tooth out"

"Ok" I said and hit her.

I still think that I deserve half of the money she got from the tooth fairy.

Often when I see her, I remind her that she owes me 5p. The tooth fairy was a stingy git round our way.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:27, Reply)

Right your prolly going to feel a little prick...

Much like everyone else, my Dentist is a right old character (read:twat) who doesnt really seem to understand that when he's somehow managed to fit his entire latex'd hand into your mouth, its not really the best time for him to start asking you questions, and get annoyed when he can't understand your responses...

He also likes to speak about me in the third person like I'm not there to his assistant as he voyages through my mouth with annoying pokey stick; "well he has obviously been too lazy to brush back here, oh this is no good at all, I'm going to have words with him about this"

What's worst is when he breaks into a conversation he was having earlier with the assistant mid way through examination without changing his tone; "Yes i think we're going to need a filling here, oh yeah and I heard she's going to Italy on her holidays this year", que extremely odd expression from me...

On a side note, never arrange a business meeting to happen on the same day as having any dental work done, imagine a scene in a fairly expensive restaurant with a very important client where you are trying your best to drink soup, can barely talk and look like you've just had a stroke with half your face a couple of inches lower than the other side.... but did I get the contract? you bet your arse I did.. they thought it was hilarous and I guess they pity'd me :(
(nothing-is-forever ...What happens in Hull, stays in Hull..., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:27, Reply)

The second dentist.
I finally got the courage to go back to a dentist after about 15 years. I was pleasantly surprised to only need a couple of fillings. Unfortunately, the anaesthetic didn't work on me so the drilling was agonising (there's a theme here).

The dentists decided I must have had an infection which was making the anaesthetic not work, so just put in a few temporary fillings and asked me to come back a week later after a course of anti-biotics.

This all seemed ok and I thought I was getting over my obviously irrational fear of dentists, I had just been unlucky before that was all.

Wrong. A week later after the course of drugs I go to my previously arranged next appointment with new dentist. Which has gone, closed down, no forwarding address.

Bastards.

I have decided to either let all my teeth rot in my head or to do what some other b3tans seem to do and find a buxom female dentist so at least I can turn it into some bizarre fetish when she's causing me pain.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:23, Reply)

No it isn't bloody safe...
I hate dentists.

I'm prepared to accept that there are great ones out there but I haven't met them. I've met bastards.

My first dentist was a friend of the family; despite this he was accused of performing unnecessary dental surgery on us, was even taken to court over this.

His favourite trick (when parents weren't around) was to perform dental surgery without either painkillers or anaesthetic. He told me, "I'll just count one-two-three-four-five and the pain will be over". That's not too long I thought, I can take the pain for that amount of time (yes, I was an idiot).

So he starts and he counts "Ooooooooonnnneeeee…………………twwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooo……." you get the idea. All the while the drill is whining, I can smell the burnt pottery aroma of my own tooth being drilled and I'm in utter agony. What a bastard.

I did throw up on him once which seemed fitting revenge. He also caused scandal in his social circle by dumping his wife for a younger model - he was actually the inspiration for the David Jason character in the sitcom 'Bit of a Do'.

And he was a bastard, have I mentioned that?
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:11, Reply)

My dentist...
I always go to see my dentist when I go home from uni, and I take the little sister with me.
Our dentist hates my little sister. Here's why:
1. When she was a kid she never used to like having the dentist man putting his fingers in her mouth, cos she said she couldn't breathe. So when he had to pull teeth and stuff she cried. Eventually he shouted at her to grow up. It was only the next time we went that he discovered my sister had some sort of abnormality in her mouth that meant the roof of it was too high and was pressing her nasal passages closed. Meaning that when some prick had his fingers in her mouth, she really couldn't breathe.
2. She tries to bite him. Every single time
3. She kicks him in the leg 'accidentally' every time he says she has to have a filling.
It's always amusing.
(The Who Bird is eating Jaffa Cakes on, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:07, Reply)