Male Nudie Cards
Once while I was drunk in New Orleans, I bought a pack of inexpensive male nudie cards in a drugstore. I thought it was great that finally someone was producing porn geared towards women. When I sobered up of course, I realised that all of their models, and their intended audience were gay males. I still own the cards.
(coolchick365ca, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 11:50, Reply)

After work
Working late nights in clubs, and often getting paid in cash, over indulging is quite a finacial pit-fall. Not for the beer, but more for the 24hour petrol station on the way back to the studio! One night we thought it was a good idea to buy all the Redbull, all the Redbull light (OMG Why?!??) and all the sandwiches. Oh and to top it all off enough fags, baccy and rizlas to "last us a while" - I still cant comprehend how it's possible to spend £150 in a 24 hour petrol station, on munch, at 3am!
(reasonablyfamous, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 10:44, Reply)

Das Keyboard
www.daskeyboard.com/ --dont bt3a when pissed
what the f**** do I do with it now?
( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 9:59, Reply)

One Reich, One Fuhrer
I bought a large selection of Waffen SS recruiting posters one night after quite a few pints. Not only that the bastards charged me twice (despite the warnings, I insisted on clicking buttons when it told me not to) and still can't get it refunded. Nice posters though.
(garrison, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 9:21, Reply)

Woohoo
After a conversation with a friend, i went online to www.drinkstuff.com and bought myself a drinks carasel (sp.), a nice rotatey thing that hold 6 bottles of booze despenses 25ml shot. What makes me laff is i only wanted a holder for 50ml optic, a mere tenner, but no i saw i could get free delivery is i spent over £50, so i opted for the 80 squid carasel.

Also while out on the town, a group of us were offered two bottle of Barcadi rum for a mere fl25 (about £9), so we sent a friend in to talk and check it out. He gave it the thumbs up, we paid and got the bottles. With that the car sped off, leaving us with 2lt of water. Which we complained about and poured away. 10 minutes later we all became thristy and would have liked the water....

Oh and i once bouht two pizzas. As in enter one take away, bought pizza, ate it and then bought another from the next take away... a whole 50 meters down teh road.
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 7:58, Reply)

A kitten
I woke up one morning with a kitten in a shoebox and a fluffy towel under my bed.

Surprisingly, ever after the Absinthe I managed to poke airholes in the top of the box.

Forward 5 years and I still have the (now) cat.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 7:16, Reply)

One day the postman delivered:

36 condoms, a massive tube of lube and 200 latex gloves.

I have no idea what I was thinking at the time.
( cheesebread at the third stroke, hammertime will be, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 2:52, Reply)

when curry attacks
On a date, hella drunk, stopped off for a kebab, natch, but decided to get a lovely Indian veggie curry too because I had the evil munchies. I couldn't even finish the kebab and I had to get a cab, so I shoved the sealed curry in my handbag and went home with the intentions of watching a bit of tv and eating in bed. Of course, I passed out as soon as I could smell pillow.

A week later was the day of my driving test, so I went searching for my bag to fetch my provisional licence. I pulled it out from under my bed, to find a rancid exploded curry all over the contents. My licence was now a lovely shade of orange and bits of broccoli were stuck to my pic and it smelled like Bombay.

I passed, because I rule. Not because I wore a minikilt, oh no.
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Sun 12 Jun 2005, 1:10, Reply)

Could have been worse....
Bright pink vibrating nipple clamps. On a mates expense account credit card hehehe.


they broke next day :( shoddy workmanship i reckon
(Carmen Dyslexia, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 23:14, Reply)

Drumkit
The band persuaded me to buy this. Later they sacked me but kept hold of the drumkit. It later got stolen, but no one seemed bothered.
I know someone else who bought a drumkit while drunk. But they forgot about their trip to the music shop until some months later their wife answered the door to a courier who unloaded the best drumkit money could buy
(sputnik1, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 23:00, Reply)

Budapest
whilst drunk in budapest my freinds and I bought a vacuum packed cabbage sweede and onion pack for breakfast. Apparently a local delicacy. Accompanied with caviar and stale pizza crust.
( B33R Drink me, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 21:45, Reply)

mc-chicken
apparently KFC don't McChicken, or McBucket so i have to make do with a couple family buckets.... between 3 of us
(rafelious, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 21:18, Reply)

How about the day after?
I was out 'til about 3:00, and my mother screeched me awake at 7:00 to help her with her garage sale. I was not only still slightly tipsy, I was now functioning on less than four hours of sleep.

I wound up selling my favourite sword which wasn't even on the table. A guy asked if I had any, and I ran upstairs and brought down my collection. Guy got a steal on a 17th-century hunting sabre with a flintlock pistol built into the hilt. The goddamn jewel of my collection, gone.

It's now 4:00 pn, and I'm going back to damn sleep.
(Random Ferret, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 21:17, Reply)

Master of my own downfall
the most amusing part of accidental rubber-vendage is when your boyfriend puts one of those ridiculous inventions on and then 5 minutes later, when writhing around in immense pain, remembers he is allergic to benzocaine (the anaesthetic they use in those performa condoms). hahaha the fool.
anyhoo, a bit less off topic, i usually go to the asda near college and buy a lot of ham. and just sit and eat it, on its own, with my mate. we are both completely sober at this point. once we took both deli ham and beef slices on a 4 hour train journey... we were so popular.
(Ryuken-Kai, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 19:56, Reply)

Not drunk, per say....
As, y'know, it's illegal...and no off-liecense will serve me 'cause i'm a skinny-ass 14yr old white chick.

But a sugar rush, after pouring about 10 of those 'rainbow sticks' down my throat in the space of two minutes, i can do. As i did, about a month ago.

According to my mates, i went nuts. And i snogged my not-so-best-mate's boyfriend.

I woke up with 2 voodoo dolls staring at me, 5 receipts for porn mags from different shops (not sure where the mags went)and an inflated elephant on my bed. not a big elephant, mind, but it explained my nightmare about dumbo eating me.

Then my gran kindly asked for the twenty quid she'd given me to buy a ham. Oops. No ham, and no money.

She thinks i spent it at Pizza Hut :).



Apologise for length? What kind of sicko girl do you think i am?!
(Kiera Wilkinson is dancing with shadows, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 19:35, Reply)

Huh?
I've just noticed my post below, looks like at about 1am last night I was ordering stuff. god knows what will turn up in the post, hope I didn't spend too much..
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 18:38, Reply)

We've got a fire extinguisher under the stairs
because my dad brought it home after a hefty boozing. According to my mum, he said that he bought it because he thought she'd "really like it".
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 18:32, Reply)

Not drunk, cos I'm teetotal
but once when I was loaded up with the flu, fevers, hallucinations and all, for some strange reason I decided that I *had* to go to Boots and buy myself a toothbrush. Fair enough, you may think. Rather a mundane purchase.

Oh no.

Being completely fucked with the flu, I didn't know which was was up, and eventually ended up leaving the house as a complete hodge-podge of whatever clothing was closest to hand, including odd shoes (one a trainer, one a boot), a bulky and thick biker's leather jacket (old skool Motorhead fan style) and a bright yellow t-shirt with (muddy) tan trousers.

I staggered my way there (it was a bit of a walk), almost being run over twice because I didn't click that roads=cars at this point. Went into Boots, to be immediately followed in the usual 'subtle as a fart in a lift' way by the security guard. I don't blame him, to be honest - I was 6ft tall and looked like a mental case and a junkie.

I got so freaked out by him following me, that to prove I wasn't stealing, I bought something from every position I stopped at. The resulting shopping list:

* toothbrush
* large vaseline
* painkillers
* carex handwash
* some mints

The checkout lady looked terrified.
( watashi-wa Evenin'!, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 17:42, Reply)

Drunk on a plane.
I once was so drunk before I got onto a plane, that I didn't recognise my suitcase sitting out on the runway. They had been asking people to look out of the windows and identify it for about 20 minutes apparently. One hour later, we landed in Geneva to change planes, I fell down some stairs and bought a box of cigars to celebrate. It cost me about £70 and I don't even smoke.
(jamiep, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 17:19, Reply)

Gigantic Dildo
After a massive pissup i awoke on the train with a gigantic 'kong' dildo hanging out of a plastic bag to the amusement of other people on the train. I neither have memory of purchase or use.
(The_artist_formally_known_as_alz0r, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 17:19, Reply)

Christmas 1998 (I think)
Xmas Eve, and the company I worked for insisted we come in. make of that what you will.

Anyway, half a day's doing fuck all followed by three hours in a pub and bingoski, time to go home....but wait! i feel like getting the GF (now wife) another Xmas gift.

Our office was maybe a half mile from Forbidden planet on New Oxford Street so in I went all beery, and bouth for Mrs IZM......a Borg ball out of that Star Trek film. I seemed to recall she'd moderately enjoyed it.

Fortuitously it was met next day (Xmas Day) with a bemused grin and was accepted fully when it was explained that I was fucking arseholed when i'd bought it.

Hooray!

Also: asst DVDs, a Hungarian football shirt (fake), and random other shit, all from eBay via payPal. damn your eyes!
(InfiniteZenMaster, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 17:17, Reply)

soap
After a night of drinking, I woke up to find a bar of hotel soap in my jeans. There also happened to be one of those little shampoos in my jacket. Nice.
(pk, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 15:59, Reply)

not exactly brought, more concieved
2 days before my 17th birthday, one of the girls i worked with came with me to a farm party (tits, home brew and loads of pissheads) the night progressed and i kinda remember her popping my cherry, now nearly six years on shes hunting me down for child support (and to take the piss it sas so shite i cant remember most of it)
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 15:51, Reply)

Carrots
At the tender age of 16 after a heavy day's drinking, some friends and I decided to embark upon a trip to Tesco, because we were hungry. What did we buy? A nutritious bag of grated carrots. On our way back home we soon realised that raw carrots indeed do nothing to satisfy the kind of appetite that excessive alcohol consumption brings. We also passed a church on the way back where two of my friends decided to throw the remainder of the bag of carrots in the manner of confetti, because 'Jesus needs carrots!' One word: EH?

Moving on to the age of 17, I now looked old enough to get into clubs rather than getting pissed round friends' houses. Taxis in my area are pretty expensive, so I used to walk (roughly two miles) home after a night out. One Saturday night a friend and I were making our way back to my house. We'd been walking for a good hour and were passing the 24 hour Tesco which isn't far from me. Deciding I desperately needed a piss and was more than a bit peckish we made our way over to the doors, only to find they wouldn't open and that there was a security man inside, shooing us away. 'Outrageous!' thought I. I was quite annoyed, afterall it WAS a 24 hour Tesco and I really DID need to go to the toilet. Anyway, I decided Tesco needed to be punished and seeing as the Sunday papers had already been delivered and were sitting in bundles outside the shop (it was about 4.00 am) I decided to take my revenge by opening up every single bundle of newspapers and taking a copy of each. Before the security guard had noticed I had hopped into a trolley and was being quickly wheeled away by my friend.

I can't remember at which point we lost the trolley, but I had no recollection of the newspaper-stealing incident until I came downstairs the next morning to find my mum deliberating over which of my newspapers she should read with her morning coffee.
( The Helpful Bear, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 14:58, Reply)

me and my mate stephen
last week whilst wankered tried to get into a 24 hour university computer suite/libary because all the pubs where closed
(fwack bang on it, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 14:53, Reply)

Um jeans, doesn't sound stupid but wait...
The trousers I was wearing had no pockets, so to go out and get more pissed I had to have trousers with pockets as not to lose my belongings. But they're size 40, ripped all over, and a bit chavvy. They were only £12 but I suppose I was only paying for half of a big pair jeans. I also left my old trousers in a bar/club. Met som nice Liverpudlian(sp?) ladies though!
( monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 14:00, Reply)

Never bought, but obtained
The obvious items, traffic cones, flashing lights, barriers, men at work road signs!

But they're just boring, I wanted something more!

Wheelie bins, garden furniture, a gnome, a concrete cricketer (how the f**k can you carry THAT when you can't even walk straight), a 7foot fir tree, garden gates, a paddling pool and finally an inflatable surfboard!

I need to stop drinking
(psychomonkey padded cell and drugged bananas, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 13:52, Reply)

Jazz mags
Me and a couple of friends had a nasty habit of buying porn and sweets from the 24 hour newsagents after a night out. We soon realised that this was very foolish and promptly stopped paying for the porn.
(ghetto soldier, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 13:30, Reply)

snipers and bored sounding women
- A highly detailed russian sniper figure form ebay
- paid phone sex line
- cinzano and tizer
(1st team orc, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 12:41, Reply)

more beer
but this isnt a silly purchase i hear you say. it is after youve allready had about 10 pints and tend to throw up at the drop of a hat
(fwack bang on it, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 12:30, Reply)