Dumb things you've done
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done to yourself?
We're keeping this one open for two weeks to allow you to get up to stupid stuff and send it in.
( , Thu 20 Dec 2007, 12:36)
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done to yourself?
We're keeping this one open for two weeks to allow you to get up to stupid stuff and send it in.
( , Thu 20 Dec 2007, 12:36)
This question is now closed.
A couple of years ago...
A girl asked me out, and I know I'm not the best looking guy around, but she really wasn't pleasent to look at. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be mean, she just didn't look after herself. I guess you could say she was a bit of a goth, with too much bad make-up and too many piercings. She could have won first place in a Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal look-a-likey competition. Think Brian Blessed and Maralyn Manson's illegitimate love-child.
Anyway, back to the story. One of her friends came up to me and asked if I'd go out with her (I had a bright red mohawk at the time, as a dare for Red Nose Day, I guess this is what attracted her). I immediately assumed that she was joking, I mean, who in their right mind would ask me out? (Me forgetting that this girl was most certainly not in her right mind) I knew the person doing the asking quite well, so jokingly responded "No, I'm gay". She didn't see it as a joke. She went and told her anxiously waiting friend, who then burst into tears and ran away.
If this wasn't bad enough, it seems that the rumours have spread, and to this day I'm still asked frequently whether or not I'm gay. This means that I don't have a girlfriend, which makes people think that I'm gay. It's a vicious circle. :(
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 19:37, 5 replies)
A girl asked me out, and I know I'm not the best looking guy around, but she really wasn't pleasent to look at. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be mean, she just didn't look after herself. I guess you could say she was a bit of a goth, with too much bad make-up and too many piercings. She could have won first place in a Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal look-a-likey competition. Think Brian Blessed and Maralyn Manson's illegitimate love-child.
Anyway, back to the story. One of her friends came up to me and asked if I'd go out with her (I had a bright red mohawk at the time, as a dare for Red Nose Day, I guess this is what attracted her). I immediately assumed that she was joking, I mean, who in their right mind would ask me out? (Me forgetting that this girl was most certainly not in her right mind) I knew the person doing the asking quite well, so jokingly responded "No, I'm gay". She didn't see it as a joke. She went and told her anxiously waiting friend, who then burst into tears and ran away.
If this wasn't bad enough, it seems that the rumours have spread, and to this day I'm still asked frequently whether or not I'm gay. This means that I don't have a girlfriend, which makes people think that I'm gay. It's a vicious circle. :(
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 19:37, 5 replies)
xmas
my wife convinced me having her parents and her brother around for xmas was a good idea. . . . . .
should have stood my ground perhaps
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 19:03, 1 reply)
my wife convinced me having her parents and her brother around for xmas was a good idea. . . . . .
should have stood my ground perhaps
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 19:03, 1 reply)
Not the stupidest thing...
However last year I bought a Christmas card for the missus and then forgot to write it. We had a good laugh about it because she did pretty much the same thing. Ne'er mind - I filed it away because obviously I could use it next (and now this) year. We're now married so obviously it's imperative I write a nice romantic card telling my new wife how great it is we're spending our first Christmas together as husband and wife.
The shops where I live are now closed.
I've just dug the card out my desk drawer and got the card out of the Clintons (card shop for you sceptics) bag.
On the front it has glitter, stars and in 48 point font.... "Have a great 2007"
Fucksocks.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 18:39, 1 reply)
However last year I bought a Christmas card for the missus and then forgot to write it. We had a good laugh about it because she did pretty much the same thing. Ne'er mind - I filed it away because obviously I could use it next (and now this) year. We're now married so obviously it's imperative I write a nice romantic card telling my new wife how great it is we're spending our first Christmas together as husband and wife.
The shops where I live are now closed.
I've just dug the card out my desk drawer and got the card out of the Clintons (card shop for you sceptics) bag.
On the front it has glitter, stars and in 48 point font.... "Have a great 2007"
Fucksocks.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 18:39, 1 reply)
Oh no.....................................
Dumbest thing I've done is put my girlfriend's presents in the sack that I gave to my daughters. The presents that would probably not be best opened in public. Think on-line shopping for items of a personal pleasurable nature and the clothing and lubricants that would go with them. These would be the same daughters that have just been picked up by my ex-wife to spend Xmas day with her. And her retired parents.
Bugger.
I'm screwed both ways.
G/F has no presents.
Kids (if they open said packages) will have strange new insight into dad's sex-life.
Ho Ho fuckin' Ho.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 18:16, 5 replies)
Dumbest thing I've done is put my girlfriend's presents in the sack that I gave to my daughters. The presents that would probably not be best opened in public. Think on-line shopping for items of a personal pleasurable nature and the clothing and lubricants that would go with them. These would be the same daughters that have just been picked up by my ex-wife to spend Xmas day with her. And her retired parents.
Bugger.
I'm screwed both ways.
G/F has no presents.
Kids (if they open said packages) will have strange new insight into dad's sex-life.
Ho Ho fuckin' Ho.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 18:16, 5 replies)
I'd have to say signing up for b3ta
posting thirty five thousand messages
meeting nearly a hundred of the members at assorted bashes and such
and finding nothing wrong with rape, peadophilia, Maddie jokes and AIDS
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 18:15, 1 reply)
posting thirty five thousand messages
meeting nearly a hundred of the members at assorted bashes and such
and finding nothing wrong with rape, peadophilia, Maddie jokes and AIDS
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 18:15, 1 reply)
It burns...
One time when I was a teenager I nipped upstairs for a wank while my pizza was cooking in the oven. Not many strokes in to it my member went quite red and got really painfull. My first instinct was to panic and think that my excessive spanking had finally done something to seriously damage my favourite stress reliever. Only when I forced myself to calm down and think about what I'd done beforehand did it occur to me that there just might be a link to the three fresh red chillies I'd chopped up by hand for pizza topping. You live & learn :p
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 16:05, Reply)
One time when I was a teenager I nipped upstairs for a wank while my pizza was cooking in the oven. Not many strokes in to it my member went quite red and got really painfull. My first instinct was to panic and think that my excessive spanking had finally done something to seriously damage my favourite stress reliever. Only when I forced myself to calm down and think about what I'd done beforehand did it occur to me that there just might be a link to the three fresh red chillies I'd chopped up by hand for pizza topping. You live & learn :p
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 16:05, Reply)
Last night
Drinking a bottle of Baileys......
Not big and not clever.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 15:58, Reply)
Drinking a bottle of Baileys......
Not big and not clever.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 15:58, Reply)
FUCK.
Bloody Christmas bloody parties. Bloody beer. Bloody whiskey. Bloody oops. Bloody.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:59, 2 replies)
Bloody Christmas bloody parties. Bloody beer. Bloody whiskey. Bloody oops. Bloody.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:59, 2 replies)
I once shagged...
Mary from the sunshine carehome down the road.
That was a dumb thing i've done...
also deaf.
which means not much chance of getting arrested
SCORE !
Length - Lets just say Mary didnt joke about it
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:44, Reply)
Mary from the sunshine carehome down the road.
That was a dumb thing i've done...
also deaf.
which means not much chance of getting arrested
SCORE !
Length - Lets just say Mary didnt joke about it
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:44, Reply)
Dumb and Festive Double Whammy
So, dear fellow b3tans, let me take you back to exactly one year ago today...(wibbly lines)...Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, because we were all at the pub. Everything had been bought, wrapped, tagged and prepped for dinner. There was nothing else to do except pass the time until Santa turned up, so we enjoyed a few pints at the local. They kicked us out at midnight after we'd all artificially boosted our levels of christmas spirit so, as our large group of twenty odd year old lads split into two to begin the walk home we thought 'what the hell!' and all hugged each other and wished each other a merry christmas.
Our half of the group started fragmenting as the walk continued past our respective houses one by one. Everytime we reached someone's house, they'd hug everyone again and once more wish them all the best and then we'd continue. It was perfect. For that one night every arguement seemed to have been forgotten and we were feeling the festive love and quite happy to share it. I've never felt so much like I was in some Christmassy muppet type film. Finally we reached my house and there are just two of us left. Myself and my closest friend. "Have a great christmas." I said, spreading my arms for one last time, the feeling of good will to all men concentrated on probably the most important person in my life and in one instant the feeling became so strong I told him I loved him. He hugged me back fiercely and I felt at one with the festive world.
But then a tiny spark of sadness crept in. As we hugged in a manly manner, the sides of our faces pressed together, I realised that his ear was incredibly cold. Suddenly my happiness was shattered, surely this freezing ear was ruining this magic christmas moment for him. I desperately wanted to help him. No. I MUST help him before his christmas is ruined. And so, as we stood there at the very start of the christmas morning I calmly turned my head and licked his mother fucking ear lobe like it was the most natural thing to do to another man in the world.
We both instantly became rigid with shock. I heard a confused "Errrrm." and he quickly untangled himself from my arms and took several precautionary steps back. I couldn't begin to explain why it had seemed like a good idea at the time so just stood there with my mouth opening and closing making random noises. "Merry Christmas then..." he muttered and then quickly walked off. I continued to stand there for a good few minutes wondering what in god's name I was thinking before I just burst out laughing and went inside. He was over it by the next day and very much enjoyed telling everyone at the pub the next time we were out. However, I just rang him this very moment and asked if he was coming out with us all again tonight. "Maybe I'll just give it a miss this year...." He said.
So merry christmas to all you b3tans, I truly hope you all have a good one. And if you see me out and about tonight and feel like giving me a chrismassy cuddle, I'd suggest at arms length and very brief. Just in case.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:42, Reply)
So, dear fellow b3tans, let me take you back to exactly one year ago today...(wibbly lines)...Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, because we were all at the pub. Everything had been bought, wrapped, tagged and prepped for dinner. There was nothing else to do except pass the time until Santa turned up, so we enjoyed a few pints at the local. They kicked us out at midnight after we'd all artificially boosted our levels of christmas spirit so, as our large group of twenty odd year old lads split into two to begin the walk home we thought 'what the hell!' and all hugged each other and wished each other a merry christmas.
Our half of the group started fragmenting as the walk continued past our respective houses one by one. Everytime we reached someone's house, they'd hug everyone again and once more wish them all the best and then we'd continue. It was perfect. For that one night every arguement seemed to have been forgotten and we were feeling the festive love and quite happy to share it. I've never felt so much like I was in some Christmassy muppet type film. Finally we reached my house and there are just two of us left. Myself and my closest friend. "Have a great christmas." I said, spreading my arms for one last time, the feeling of good will to all men concentrated on probably the most important person in my life and in one instant the feeling became so strong I told him I loved him. He hugged me back fiercely and I felt at one with the festive world.
But then a tiny spark of sadness crept in. As we hugged in a manly manner, the sides of our faces pressed together, I realised that his ear was incredibly cold. Suddenly my happiness was shattered, surely this freezing ear was ruining this magic christmas moment for him. I desperately wanted to help him. No. I MUST help him before his christmas is ruined. And so, as we stood there at the very start of the christmas morning I calmly turned my head and licked his mother fucking ear lobe like it was the most natural thing to do to another man in the world.
We both instantly became rigid with shock. I heard a confused "Errrrm." and he quickly untangled himself from my arms and took several precautionary steps back. I couldn't begin to explain why it had seemed like a good idea at the time so just stood there with my mouth opening and closing making random noises. "Merry Christmas then..." he muttered and then quickly walked off. I continued to stand there for a good few minutes wondering what in god's name I was thinking before I just burst out laughing and went inside. He was over it by the next day and very much enjoyed telling everyone at the pub the next time we were out. However, I just rang him this very moment and asked if he was coming out with us all again tonight. "Maybe I'll just give it a miss this year...." He said.
So merry christmas to all you b3tans, I truly hope you all have a good one. And if you see me out and about tonight and feel like giving me a chrismassy cuddle, I'd suggest at arms length and very brief. Just in case.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:42, Reply)
This happened just the other day
To a colleague, but what the hell. It could also count as an expensive mistake, but I've missed the boat on that one, so... 14th December, works Christmas party. 400 people on the piss in Newcastle from lunchtime, starting with dinner and then hitting the town afterwards.
Said colleague, who is female, was honouring the Geordie tradition by wearing the skimpiest, low cut dress imaginable, high heels, bare legs, and a jacket that wouldn't have kept a gerbil warm. Ambient temperature was around -1 c. So really fucking cold, with a freezing fog forming to boot.
Come home time, instead of shelling out the cost of a taxi home (probably about £25 - £30) she decides to get the last train back to Morpeth, jump off and get a taxi to her place, thus saving about £20 into the bargain (more if she manages to get off the train before the ticket inspector comes round - I have done this myself many times, since the journey in question is all of 15 minutes).
A fool proof plan, I'm sure you will agree.
Except for the bit where she fell asleep as the train rolled out of Newcastle, completely missed her stop and ended up in Edinburgh. Where there were no trains back until morning. Hmm. So she ended up having to book herself into a hotel, dressed only in Geordie party gear, no change of clothes, no make up or hair products at her disposal, and then having to make her way home again next day, with a hangover and dressed like she was on a night out.
Cost? Considerably more than just getting a taxi home in the first place.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:40, Reply)
To a colleague, but what the hell. It could also count as an expensive mistake, but I've missed the boat on that one, so... 14th December, works Christmas party. 400 people on the piss in Newcastle from lunchtime, starting with dinner and then hitting the town afterwards.
Said colleague, who is female, was honouring the Geordie tradition by wearing the skimpiest, low cut dress imaginable, high heels, bare legs, and a jacket that wouldn't have kept a gerbil warm. Ambient temperature was around -1 c. So really fucking cold, with a freezing fog forming to boot.
Come home time, instead of shelling out the cost of a taxi home (probably about £25 - £30) she decides to get the last train back to Morpeth, jump off and get a taxi to her place, thus saving about £20 into the bargain (more if she manages to get off the train before the ticket inspector comes round - I have done this myself many times, since the journey in question is all of 15 minutes).
A fool proof plan, I'm sure you will agree.
Except for the bit where she fell asleep as the train rolled out of Newcastle, completely missed her stop and ended up in Edinburgh. Where there were no trains back until morning. Hmm. So she ended up having to book herself into a hotel, dressed only in Geordie party gear, no change of clothes, no make up or hair products at her disposal, and then having to make her way home again next day, with a hangover and dressed like she was on a night out.
Cost? Considerably more than just getting a taxi home in the first place.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:40, Reply)
speeding
when i was young (bout 12-13) we had a thing about riding our bikes down this lane on an enormous hill, whoever could get over 30 mph won the first swig of a drink (normally coke or tizer)
i must mention this lane was a death trap, full of blind spots and the place our older freinds used to dump and burn there stolen cars
all was set, great sunny day nobody about and 15 kids on bikes aged 9 - 17
and were off, 3 at a time, so it was now a race too.
me, "x" and "y" go first
belt down the hill at over 30 mph forgetting to slow for the blindspot, poor transit driver never saw me, x and y coming, we totaled our bikes trying not to kill ourselves "x" suffered a broken leg after going through the windscreen all i suffered was broken pride, and missing my brand new GT bike
such a shame
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:11, Reply)
when i was young (bout 12-13) we had a thing about riding our bikes down this lane on an enormous hill, whoever could get over 30 mph won the first swig of a drink (normally coke or tizer)
i must mention this lane was a death trap, full of blind spots and the place our older freinds used to dump and burn there stolen cars
all was set, great sunny day nobody about and 15 kids on bikes aged 9 - 17
and were off, 3 at a time, so it was now a race too.
me, "x" and "y" go first
belt down the hill at over 30 mph forgetting to slow for the blindspot, poor transit driver never saw me, x and y coming, we totaled our bikes trying not to kill ourselves "x" suffered a broken leg after going through the windscreen all i suffered was broken pride, and missing my brand new GT bike
such a shame
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:11, Reply)
Please do not attempt this.
I once woke up in the middle of the night after a full day on the ale, however I had been dreaming about shagging someone.
Anyway when I got to the bog, i started to empty my tanks, then pissed right into my mouth.
Note to Self - Do NOT piss with a hard-on
Length ? Big enough to fill 3 prams.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:08, 2 replies)
I once woke up in the middle of the night after a full day on the ale, however I had been dreaming about shagging someone.
Anyway when I got to the bog, i started to empty my tanks, then pissed right into my mouth.
Note to Self - Do NOT piss with a hard-on
Length ? Big enough to fill 3 prams.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:08, 2 replies)
electricity
on a bored saturday morning, i was playing with a freind when i got bored, thinking what would happen if i put this bit of wire into the plus which is meant for my really old stereo
so i take wire and insert into both ends
BOOM, lights out, arm all bruised and in shock,
i didnt think 240 volts would hurt,
but what made it worse was i took a quarter of the village out (the electricity supply in the village was antiquated) lesson learnt nope. (i did something similar with a computer kettle type plug a month later)
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:02, 2 replies)
on a bored saturday morning, i was playing with a freind when i got bored, thinking what would happen if i put this bit of wire into the plus which is meant for my really old stereo
so i take wire and insert into both ends
BOOM, lights out, arm all bruised and in shock,
i didnt think 240 volts would hurt,
but what made it worse was i took a quarter of the village out (the electricity supply in the village was antiquated) lesson learnt nope. (i did something similar with a computer kettle type plug a month later)
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 14:02, 2 replies)
I forgot to let Mr. Flywheel Cover be my friend
I had a "mini-bike" when I was 13. It was basically a small, extremely cheap motorcycle with a lawnmower engine. Because faster is always better, I made frequent modifications to the engine, one of which required removing the flywheel cover while the engine was running.
Around its circumference, the flywheel had dozens of sharp metal teeth which spun merrily around at several thousand RPM, just inches from my ankle. Ankle and flywheel were normally separated by the flywheel cover. But I thought it would be safe to ride it with the cover off for just one trip around the yard, if I was careful.
I wasn't quite careful enough. My right sock touched the flywheel's teeth, which immediately grabbed the sock and pulled it into the flywheel, taking my ankle along with it. The flywheel teeth then sliced efficiently into my flesh (this all happened in a fraction of a second) just as I approached my house.
My dad saw me leap off the mini-bike, blood dripping from the shredded remains of my sock; it was one of the few times I ever saw him look startled. He helped me hop into the house, where he performed basic first aid. He used several large bandages to hold the torn skin together, then told me to keep the leg elevated for a while.
As he was cleaning up the puddles of blood that I had trailed through the house, he said, "We won't mention this to your mother."
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 13:42, 1 reply)
I had a "mini-bike" when I was 13. It was basically a small, extremely cheap motorcycle with a lawnmower engine. Because faster is always better, I made frequent modifications to the engine, one of which required removing the flywheel cover while the engine was running.
Around its circumference, the flywheel had dozens of sharp metal teeth which spun merrily around at several thousand RPM, just inches from my ankle. Ankle and flywheel were normally separated by the flywheel cover. But I thought it would be safe to ride it with the cover off for just one trip around the yard, if I was careful.
I wasn't quite careful enough. My right sock touched the flywheel's teeth, which immediately grabbed the sock and pulled it into the flywheel, taking my ankle along with it. The flywheel teeth then sliced efficiently into my flesh (this all happened in a fraction of a second) just as I approached my house.
My dad saw me leap off the mini-bike, blood dripping from the shredded remains of my sock; it was one of the few times I ever saw him look startled. He helped me hop into the house, where he performed basic first aid. He used several large bandages to hold the torn skin together, then told me to keep the leg elevated for a while.
As he was cleaning up the puddles of blood that I had trailed through the house, he said, "We won't mention this to your mother."
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 13:42, 1 reply)
Poison chicken
You know on those ready meals, they say to pre-heat the oven? Turns out they mean it.
You know they say to leave the meal in for the whole cooking time? They mean that too.
I spent the worst 48 hours of my life reflecting upon that.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 13:41, 4 replies)
You know on those ready meals, they say to pre-heat the oven? Turns out they mean it.
You know they say to leave the meal in for the whole cooking time? They mean that too.
I spent the worst 48 hours of my life reflecting upon that.
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 13:41, 4 replies)
Grifters and Choppers
me being a young lad in the eighties, you Either owned a Raleigh Chopper or a Raleigh Grifter, and you could only ride with lads on the same type of bike.
Now as everyone in the UK rembers, the Chopper was a light bike with a small front wheel, whilst the Grifter weighed a ton, and looked like an industrial russian version of a bmx bike with a padded handlebar.
Now the Chopper lads were taking the piss and showing off that they could pully wheelies very easily on their choppers, whilst of course us grifter lads need the strength of hercules just to get the thing going.
So me being the ever optimist decided that i could pull a wheelie and go up the kerb infront of my friends house which for some reason was ridiculously high (about 1 foot)
Hence me failing spectacularly and heading chin first over the handlebars.
Unfortunately after the curb there was a narrow path and after the path there was a small 2 foot wall.....topped with decorative railings. You know the ones, sprayed with hammerite and nice arrowhead spikes on top.
Which promptly decided to pierce through the base of my chin and appear between my teeth and my lip.
Moral: Never pull wheelies on a Grifter, always pull your chopper instead...wait...erm
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 13:05, 1 reply)
me being a young lad in the eighties, you Either owned a Raleigh Chopper or a Raleigh Grifter, and you could only ride with lads on the same type of bike.
Now as everyone in the UK rembers, the Chopper was a light bike with a small front wheel, whilst the Grifter weighed a ton, and looked like an industrial russian version of a bmx bike with a padded handlebar.
Now the Chopper lads were taking the piss and showing off that they could pully wheelies very easily on their choppers, whilst of course us grifter lads need the strength of hercules just to get the thing going.
So me being the ever optimist decided that i could pull a wheelie and go up the kerb infront of my friends house which for some reason was ridiculously high (about 1 foot)
Hence me failing spectacularly and heading chin first over the handlebars.
Unfortunately after the curb there was a narrow path and after the path there was a small 2 foot wall.....topped with decorative railings. You know the ones, sprayed with hammerite and nice arrowhead spikes on top.
Which promptly decided to pierce through the base of my chin and appear between my teeth and my lip.
Moral: Never pull wheelies on a Grifter, always pull your chopper instead...wait...erm
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 13:05, 1 reply)
After cooking, nay, baking my own delicious chicken and leek pie
with a filo top, and having a good quarter of it for my lunch, I stuck the rest in the freezer.
Whilst still hot.
I then decided, the next day, to microwave a frozen chunk of leftover pie, for my lunch.
Three days, I was in that bathroom. *sob*
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 12:39, 4 replies)
with a filo top, and having a good quarter of it for my lunch, I stuck the rest in the freezer.
Whilst still hot.
I then decided, the next day, to microwave a frozen chunk of leftover pie, for my lunch.
Three days, I was in that bathroom. *sob*
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 12:39, 4 replies)
Silly kids games...
I remember one summer I had the idea to throw pub darts as high into the air as possible, then try to catch them with a cricket bat. Great fun until the lethal heavy weight pointed missile landed in my wrist puncturing a vein! Oh how they all laughed as the blood spurted from my arm after bravely pulling the dart out. How did I ever explain that one to my mum?
As I recall, we substituted the darts with slugs and snails after that. Messy, very messy!!
Happy days...
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 12:15, Reply)
I remember one summer I had the idea to throw pub darts as high into the air as possible, then try to catch them with a cricket bat. Great fun until the lethal heavy weight pointed missile landed in my wrist puncturing a vein! Oh how they all laughed as the blood spurted from my arm after bravely pulling the dart out. How did I ever explain that one to my mum?
As I recall, we substituted the darts with slugs and snails after that. Messy, very messy!!
Happy days...
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 12:15, Reply)
Sign
Drunken night at uni - The details are still a little sketchy to be honest, but I digress....
I thought I'd try a forearm smash on a roadsign - you know the kind of thing - a la wrestling...
I ran, jumped and with a banshee, Bruce Lee kind of scream, I forearm smashed the sign.
And it didn't move. At all.
I hadn't noticed that it was fixed on 2 poles, so it was never going to move anywhere.
When I hit it, I was flying through the air and was unceremoniously dumped on my back.
Not funny. It didn't hurt at all though - not until the next morning anyway when I tried to prop myself on my arm and couldn't - fortunately I'd not broken it - God knows how....
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:54, Reply)
Drunken night at uni - The details are still a little sketchy to be honest, but I digress....
I thought I'd try a forearm smash on a roadsign - you know the kind of thing - a la wrestling...
I ran, jumped and with a banshee, Bruce Lee kind of scream, I forearm smashed the sign.
And it didn't move. At all.
I hadn't noticed that it was fixed on 2 poles, so it was never going to move anywhere.
When I hit it, I was flying through the air and was unceremoniously dumped on my back.
Not funny. It didn't hurt at all though - not until the next morning anyway when I tried to prop myself on my arm and couldn't - fortunately I'd not broken it - God knows how....
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:54, Reply)
I went out last night
And am at work today. But only until 12.
I got home after 2am. Would have been before midnight, but realised that our local was open til 1am on a Sunday. More beer, after 4 pints (plus the alcohol consumed before getting to the pub), always seems like a good idea at the time.
I'm now on my 6th cup of coffee, and have some final Christmas shopping to look forward to when I leave today.
I'm 37 for fucks sake. I really should know better by now. Nyournnngh pfft!
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:50, Reply)
And am at work today. But only until 12.
I got home after 2am. Would have been before midnight, but realised that our local was open til 1am on a Sunday. More beer, after 4 pints (plus the alcohol consumed before getting to the pub), always seems like a good idea at the time.
I'm now on my 6th cup of coffee, and have some final Christmas shopping to look forward to when I leave today.
I'm 37 for fucks sake. I really should know better by now. Nyournnngh pfft!
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:50, Reply)
jump the fence
not me..that guy
a340.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/87/l_9fd636594e3f6686e5967bf8883ef3ab.jpg
had forgotten the keys to his work (a discotheque) he jumped the fence, his wedding ring got stuck in a pointy iron bar and he lost his ring finger (he told me his finger was de-gloved..lol..no more skin and flesh, just bones sticking out)
winnar!
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:16, 1 reply)
not me..that guy
a340.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/87/l_9fd636594e3f6686e5967bf8883ef3ab.jpg
had forgotten the keys to his work (a discotheque) he jumped the fence, his wedding ring got stuck in a pointy iron bar and he lost his ring finger (he told me his finger was de-gloved..lol..no more skin and flesh, just bones sticking out)
winnar!
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:16, 1 reply)
Aspirin nightmare
One time, (no not at band camp).. I was in Italy for the summer and awoke one hot morning with the mother of all hangovers, grappling wildly for a glass of water on the bedside table I magically happened upon an aspirin as well... Hmmm thinks me, that's a rather large aspirin, oh well..must be one of those Italian style ones! I'll just crack it in half and neck it in anyway. Cue two hours of really fierce fizzing noises erupting from my s stomach ..and me propped up against the pillows, belching furiously and frothing at the mouth..yes thats right folks you've guessed it, it was indeed a soluble aspirin..what a fool!!!
In my defence. I was still pissed...
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:13, 2 replies)
One time, (no not at band camp).. I was in Italy for the summer and awoke one hot morning with the mother of all hangovers, grappling wildly for a glass of water on the bedside table I magically happened upon an aspirin as well... Hmmm thinks me, that's a rather large aspirin, oh well..must be one of those Italian style ones! I'll just crack it in half and neck it in anyway. Cue two hours of really fierce fizzing noises erupting from my s stomach ..and me propped up against the pillows, belching furiously and frothing at the mouth..yes thats right folks you've guessed it, it was indeed a soluble aspirin..what a fool!!!
In my defence. I was still pissed...
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:13, 2 replies)
I could probably post a whole page of Tourette's menstrual cycle-related acts of stupidity...
but I think I'll leave that one to her, assuming she ever gets round to actually posting something.
;o)
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:09, Reply)
but I think I'll leave that one to her, assuming she ever gets round to actually posting something.
;o)
( , Mon 24 Dec 2007, 11:09, Reply)
This question is now closed.