A small bottle of ephedrine
it's going to come in useful one of these days, just not sure how
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:29, Reply)

Magic beans
Anyone want to buy some magic beans? If you ever run out of money, and want to get home - sell your magic beans to the local fruit-loop who hangs out at your local train station. Magic beans can also be used to purchase tramp-juice. Magic beans are the standard currency in Bumtown!
(Ghost Batty Rider, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:27, Reply)

Right hand front pocket - phone
left hand front pocket - wallet with keys

any more or less and i feel uncomfortable, always have them with me.

Always have my stylish RNLI Keyring with me, tis my lucky key ring and keeps me safe (whenever i have it i'm in a good mood and stay safe)
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:26, Reply)

honestly?
cotton candy light pink with a tinge of purple Mac lipgloss

bright red Este Lauder lipstick that I stole from my mother that could very well be from the 70s, they definitely don't make it in the same container anymore...weird.

light beigey pink body shop lipgloss

sparkly sheer red body shop lipgloss

burt's bees burgundy sheer chaptsick stuff

Kadja, aka black Pakistani eyewax stuff that makes the perfect black rimmed eyes

this is all kind of silly considering that I generally only bother wearing makeup on weekend evenings if I'm going out, but I just can't be bothered to take it all out of my handbag.

and pens. I always have pens.
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:25, Reply)

organisation...
wallet - front left pocket
camera phone - front right pocket
keys - back right pocket
pocket fluff - back left pocket
just for future ease for in case you want to mug/pickpocket me

edit: student id usually round my waist and mp3 player when i can be bothered
( m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:22, Reply)

Passport photo.
I always carry a spare in my wallet. You never know when you might need to fake an ID.
(Cane: I love Sushi, Sobriety & Shotokan, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:09, Reply)

Gross
My mum used to carry our clamps from our umbilical cords in her handbag (there are 4 of us). They still had dried up black things on them. I remember the first time I found them - that wasn't a fun day. I never rooted around in my mum's bag again though, let me tell you.
(Mad McMad, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:08, Reply)

On a happier note...
This week, i have mainly been carrying candyfloss in my bag :-)
(Salbo_baggins, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:02, Reply)

This is sad :(
i went to the pub once and my friend left his medical card behind which explained various drugs he was on (to help him come clean from smack)

I put it in my wallet(which i carry with me everywhere so this counts...) and I meant to give it back to him but then he died shortly after (overdose):(

It haunted me so i hid it....

Depressing...
(Salbo_baggins, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 13:01, Reply)

A wallet of dead cards.
I used to have lots of credit cards. I cancelled all of them and paid them off, but didn't bother disposing of the cards. I keep them on me (in a wallet) at all times for two reasons:
1) To remind me that credit is bad and expensive. (It took me forever to pay them back).
2) In case of potential mugging - if anyone pulls out a knife and demands my wallet then fine, I'll give them the useless one full of dead cards and foreign money.
(bedsitmartyr : Doctor of Bottles, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:58, Reply)

Odd things...
Hmmm...

On a regular basis I will carry around:

1) A class 1 bluetooth dongle. Replete with laptop and some nice admin tools. Use your mobile in the quiet coach on the train will you! I think not! (well only on train journeys anyway)

2) A couple of patches in my wallet, a The North Face parody which says Hey Fuck Face and a Fun Meter patch set to Max. Waiting for velcro backing so I can stick 'em on my gear.

3) Business cards for people I have absolutely no interest in pursuing further business with.

I would carry a leatherman, folding knife and a torch around with me except the city I live in has rediculously strict laws on offensive weapons. I'm too pretty for prison.
(mehmeh 0% witty, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:55, Reply)

he he apathetic anglish swine
I also carry round a dice for those oh-so inportant decisions, Luke Rhinehart had a big impact on me!!!!
I also carry a special handmade inch-cube metal dice (no idea who made it, my lovely grandma found it somewhere and gave it to my brother, she doesn't believe girls like dice) which is magic beacuse it has two 3s and no 1.
Not sure why this piece of trickery amuses me so much but I like getting people to roll it for something when the favourable option is 1. I giggle lots as they lose again and again.

I also carry superglue with me, it's very handy. And a tapemeasure, and my entire jewellery collection in a small silver carrier bag.

I hope my mum gets me a jewellery box for Christms, but even more than this I hope that my silver carrier bag doens't get stolen.
(chemgirl, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:55, Reply)

Lint.

(graybo, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:53, Reply)

I always carry, when going to work
2 100mg Chlorpromazine tablets
4 10mg Temazepam tablets
2 5mg Midazolam nasal spray

for difficult patients - not strictly legal but ....
(peewee13, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:52, Reply)

a small, flat, black, plastic heart with radial grooves
It used to be an earring, but the earring bit fell off. It holds a series of very special, naughty memories.

I also carry a laminated photocopy of a short story and a length of black ribbon.

Not funny, really, but they certainly make people curious.

Edit: ooh, just remembered. Still have my ticket for the Twin Towers viewing platform dated 10th September 1999.

Generally, it can be said the contents of my bag serves to freak people out a bit.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:50, Reply)

In my bag at all times
-Small packet of lube given free to me at the local shirtliftery.
-Two condoms
-Two pens. One black, one green. Always these colours, never any others.
-Small bundle of white parcel string.
-Ball of bluetack
-Lip balm. One with spf stuff, one without. Sounds ridiculously girly but I burn easily.
-Packet of tissues.
-Blister sheet of paracetamol
-Half a box of tic tacs that have been in there for about a year. I'm slightly too scared to eat them now, but they're there just in case.
-Hairbrush.
-plasters. one big, one smaller (the long, normal ones)
-small pad of paper (at the moment, a teenage mutant ninja turtles one my fiance got in a lucky egg thing)

oh, and the usual money/phone combo, although usually just the one as I'm a forgetful bint. and NEVER a wallet. Wallets get lost, but you really have to upturn your bag and shake it for all the money to come out.

Having looked at the q it says odd things. In that case I'll go for the packet of lube, the end of one of my fiance's dreadlocks which now resides in the belly of a small, rubber squeaky crocodile called Gladys, and a receipt from a shop in London (an ornament shop) which reads

Penis- £23.99
Cake- £4.99
Train- £5.98

Penis? Crappy fertility copy thing. Cake and train? Tiny things for a mate's dollhouse. I just like the receipt. And the fact I was served by a common as muck woman with THREE i's at the end of her name. Yes Danniii, I mean you.

I don't keep the receipt with me for a reason, it's just not been removed from my bag yet.

EDIT- forgot fags. And always about three lighters, only one of which will I have bought myself. And having now checked my bag: cuddly panther, postcard from the cinema which says 'STOP throwing those bloody spears at me', Sin city- the hard goodbye, perfume and a cinema ticket for Kinky Boots, which we watched last night. It was very good. And my diddy empeethree player resplendent with choice cuts from Venom, the Prophecy, Type O Negative, Iron Maiden and running Wild. Oh, and Laibach's cover of Final Countdown.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:47, Reply)

A railway ticket to Paddington from Gloucester dated 05/10/1999 in my wallet
Woke up to get my usual 6:30 ish train, when the missus wakes up with the raging horn and postpones me for half an hour, meaning i have to get the later train.
We reach Reading and have to stop as there has been an "incident" ahead. The train i was meant to be on had crashed badly, and the carriage i usually sat in was towards the front where some of the 31 dead had been.
So the moral of this item is:If she wants nookie in the morning, don't turn her down to avoid being late.
( Ulic hissing slightly, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:44, Reply)

a polite manner
and piles
(bossypops, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:40, Reply)

sorry, I'm too normal for this qotw


Cor. I don't get to say that very often.
(teasus likes tea, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:39, Reply)

well I'll be....
I just dug through my bag for one of the items I mentioned in my earlier post. It seems I have
an unopened 50ml bottle of Absolut Vodka in one of the pockets in my bag too.
Must be from my recent trip to Tenerife. Odd thing is that I only remember buying two, and I drank them on the plane home...

(think I'll make it a permanent addition to the stuff in my bag)
( The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:32, Reply)

something minty,
safety pins, tiny screwdrivers, and a small, happy pig with a ribbon tied gaily about his fat, piggy neck.
(Carravanquelo, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:28, Reply)

My 2 best things.
A bottle opener has been my keyring for the past 15 years. It's fantastic. Apart from the risk of someone stealing it at a party and then you can't access your beer or your house.

A few months after me and Mr Clapper had met he said 'Ooh, what we need is a lavender plant' He's like that. And on the other side of the road there was one. And I *just happened* to be carrying a pair of secateurs in my bag. And so we got a cutting!

But why I had the secateurs I do not know.
(clapper, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:23, Reply)

I always carry
one or two (or three) digital camera's. Just in case, you know. No telephones, though.

Also, I've had a (square) 5ct. coin from the Dutch Antilles in my wallet for the last 20 years...probably in case I get lost on Aruba or something and need to phone home.

Oh, and a flat rubber monkeyhead and a lego stormtrooper on my keyring.
( mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 12:10, Reply)

Prague Lucky Bread
After coming back from Prague I stole some extra bread from the Plane in hard roll form.

I forgot about it until about 3 weeks after I got home and found the bread still intact but with no mold on it in my duffle bag!

So far I've had it in my bag for 4 months now with it being rock hard but with still no mold. It gives me great luck and special powers (I think anyway)

I'm very afriad to throw it away...

I'll post a pic if people want to see it
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 11:58, Reply)

this is a bit irrelevant, but..
A colleugue and I have worked in several different offices of the same company, some in England and some in the Netherlands. Everywhere we go we take a beautiful ceramic squirrel with us. He is about 20cm high and hand painted, with beady little glass eyes ( yup, its pretty vile ).
We take Liam (for that is his name ) with us everywhere in honour of the 100+ squirrels that found themselves in Amsterdam airport, without the correct health documents, after flying in as cargo from the Ukraine.

For one reason or another, the lovely ikkle squirrels could not be returned to Kiev, and they can't be released in the Netherlands, so a decision was made to destroy them ( I would say that a decision was made to destroy them humanely, but that wouldn't really be true ).

The story goes that they were fed into one of those wood chipping machines, and their litte bushy tails were shredded and scattered over the exit to runway 3.

Liam comes everywhere with us. He might not be "essential".. but he is a good reminder that behind the calm, freindly facade of most Dutchmen, lies a ruthless squirrel killer.


rgrds
(uptonogood, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 11:43, Reply)

I always carry
A long list around with me, on which is written all the items I reguarly carry around. This sometimes numbers over 100 items, all of which are useless. I feel compelled to transfer this entire list onto the b3tan message board, including such mundane items as wallet, phone, keys, watch, glasses, fags, lighter, condoms (usually out of date), bus passes, out-dated student I.D. and limbs.

Make it go away.

This would be an ironically apropriate place for a length joke. But I'm not going to make one. So there.

Apologies for dry wit.
(Mr_Jums, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 11:40, Reply)

Scag-nuts
'Nuff said.
(Mr_Jums, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 11:33, Reply)

Stuff
I always have my phone, keys wallet, PDA... Oh, hang on. The question says odd things! There's me thinking I should post the blindingly obvious.
(Wallilay has been bored of this shit since, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 11:25, Reply)

A copper...
... once pulled me over because he thought I was carrying a weapon.

He let me off when he realised it was just my razor-sharp wit.
(Mr T, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 11:19, Reply)

AndyFaulkner
Don't worry, if you get get mugged for your phone and laptop you can defend yourself with your £120 multitool. I reckon anyone who can survive being simultaneously stabbed with a knife, file, saw, pliers, can opener and fish scaler deserves to get away with your stuff.

My friend has a fetish for small gadgety things that can be attached to keys. In addition to a multitool he has a butane lighter that could probably melt steel and I'm reliably informed he also has a folding hatchet.

The contents of my pockets are extremely boring. I do have a habit of keeping loose change in a jar in my room along with my guitar picks though. When I'm in a rush I quite often just scoop the whole lot up when I go out. I've discovered that it's quite embarrassing to get to the front of a queue in a shop and have to say "Errrrm, do you take plectrums?"
(flimflam_machine, Fri 28 Oct 2005, 11:18, Reply)