"I was adjusting your breasts... you fainted and they shifted all out of whack"
Dead men don't wear plaid...

/ "what is FoC?"
(Ted Cunterblast, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 3:24, Reply)

Asian films
I know this isn't supposed to be a list of decent movies type of thing, but I'm pished and saving my actual answer til I'm sober. Besides, I used the "Best Books" question to pick out some future reading material and so far I'm happy. Asian films had a bit of a heyday a couple of years ago. There were many fine examples and these were a few of the best I've seen, although there are others I've forgotten.... have a look if you like that sort of thingy

Ring series of course..... ring two is the only film to make me pull the covers over my face since I became a non-child. Hair-combingly good.

Brotherhood is an epic if a little overstated Korean war film.... a bit like a cross between Saving Private Ryan and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon... overdramatic but cool.

Visitor Q...... Oh my God. I can't explain this film. Just..... odd. Milky.

Old Boy. Just awesome. This has the best fight sequence I have ever seen in a movie. Heard they were remaking this with Nicholas Cage..... which should work out about as good as the Wicker Man did. Part of the Vengeance Trilogy, though I haven't seen the other 2 so I can't comment on them.

Ichi the Killer. What Superheros should be.

R-Point. Weird vietnam war horror film, eerie.

Shutter, The Eye, A tale of two sisters..... horrors in the vein of Ringu and The Grudge.

Gozu. My God in Heaven, Gozu. I can't even begin to start explaining this. if you like weirdness, try Gozu and Visitor Q. Oh and The Audition. Limbtastic.

Versus.... wierd sort of samurai zombie movie. And..... oh shit what was it called? Well it had a weird name and it was about a guy in a metal suit. I couldn't follow it.

Erm. Yes. Sorry. I'll go away now. :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 3:19, 5 replies)

Trailer movie
I've always thought that trailers are the height of cinematography. The editor has to splice together three minutes of footage that will persuade the viewer into forking over hard currency to see the movie proper. So, a movie made entirely of trailers should, by logical extension, be ninety minutes of awesome.

When trying to come up with a storyline for this hypothetical movie my chums and I came up with the idea of a chap who simply runs around punching people in the face, jumping over stuff on a motorcycle and doing ridiculous things with guns and heliopters. For ninety minutes.

Surprisingly a film which fit precisely that description was released! "Crank", starring Jason Statham. Sheer brilliance.
(I grew it myself, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 3:04, 2 replies)

I can't believe that these haven't been mentioned more than once...
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Amazing soundtrack. Ridiculously quotable: "Oh George, not the livestock!", "I'll only be 82!".

Ichi the Killer. Just brilliantly gory and totally cool.

Cypher. Low budget but fantastic sci-fi with a neat little twist.

Last Life in the Universe. Beautifully shot but very slow moving. Except the last 20 minutes, which will have your heart in your mouth.

Goodbye Lenin! Doncha just miss communism? Oustalgia all round.

Kes - Just for the moment when the dopey little kid suddenly lights up when telling his class about how he trained his kestrel. Probably best not to watch the end and just make up your own.

A Knight's Tale. I'm such a sucker for this daft but fun little film, especially when they sing "He's blonde, he's pissed, he'll see you in the list..."
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 2:52, 1 reply)

Now you're asking.
Being that I'm a bit into me movies, I like this question.

For years and years my favourite movie was Aliens. I know, I know, it's not the most technically brilliant movie ever, but having seen it at age 10 (when my gran was babysitting me, I didn't think it was that good the first time I saw it) it grew on me like a fungus until I finally realised it was the finest movie in the universe. It has everything. It has action, it has sex appeal (Vasquez, rrrowr), it has...... well, what else is there? And it has the finest, most deadly celluloid killer ever commited to film. The effects are staggering, considering the actual aliens were depicted by dancers with black leotards on and polystyrene pieces stuck all over them.

It's a fine sequel to one of the finest horror fils ever, and although the 3rd movie sort of cancels out all the effort they go through to escape, it was the most fitting end for Ripley and a great end to the trilogy. Then they made that God awful pish and ruined it all so they could sell the franchise to chavs. Hollywood. Pah.

For sheer nostalgia, the Alien series and especially Aliens (special edition, naturally) are my faves. The special edition of the 3rd film also rounds out the characters and story nicely and make a much better movie than the cinematic release.

So there we are. Aliens. My nostalgic favourite.

If you want to know my actual favourite film ever, you'll have to wait til monday. I'm waiting until A. - I'm sober enough to do it justice and B. - there are people who will see my post and think about seeing what is the finest movie I have ever seen.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 2:40, Reply)

Daft Question
Don't know why this idea made it to QOTW. Not exactly original, is it? Obviously, if we're actually going to poll B3TA for the Best Movie, the result will come down as roughly a 50% split between the Star Wars trilogy (the original one, natch), and The Muppet Movie.

Instead, in the spirit of brainlessly making lists on a Friday night, I'd like to present 'The Best Movie Moments: the ones that make me piss myself laughing even though I know full well they are coming up and - in more than one case - have watched 80% of an otherwise grotty film just to have a cheap laugh at this bit'.

I'd really appreciate some reassurance that I'm not the only person in the world who predictably collapses into convulsions of laughter EVERY SINGLE TIME, to the disgust of their matrimonial other.

1) Dr Strangelove: "Gentlemen! You can't fight here! This is the war room!" Classic Sellars. Enough said.

2) "Yes! We are all individual!"
"I'm not"

You don't even need to know the film. It's still funny, merely as seven words on the printed page. Genius.

3) Airplane 2. Yes the first one was brilliant, and has enough great moments to fill this list alone (my favourite: "They're on instruments"). The second film is not so good, but the bit where William Shatner switches off his communications monitor, saying "I'll be right there" and then walks straight through the door, is a classic.

4) "That's Hfuhhrhurrr". Go and find yourself a grounding in legendary screen comics if you don't know which film that's from.

5) Tin Cup. (Yes I like a Kevin Costner film. And I have no shame about it) Cheech puts in a great comic performance but: "Try hitting your putter; you can't shank that" gets me every time.

6) Sneakers. (I'm surprised how many people have missed out on this one). Whistler: "I want peace on Earth and goodwill toward all men." Abbott: "We are the United States Government. We don't do that sort of thing." Prophetic, political, and bloody funny, especially when spoken by Darth Vader.

7) Porridge, the film. Mckay: "I'm going to book you for that. What's your name, Cooper?" Cooper: "...Cooper". Was marginally better in the book when the offending player rejoiced in the name of Urquhart.

8) Con Air. Cyrus: "This is the boneyard, this is the hangar, that's our plane." Viking: "What's that?" Cyrus: "That's a rock." The best bit about this quote is that it amounts to Moliere-levels of sophisticated humour by Jerry Bruckheimer's standards.

9) South Park: The Movie. Anyone who doesn't enjoy "Kyle's Mom's A Bitch" has a heart of stone.

10) Dodgeball. "Son, you're about as much use as a cock-flavoured lollipop." And why not, I say?
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 1:54, 2 replies)

The Cell
Is actually a bit good imho

Jennifer Lopez (the only movie I rate her in)

Vince Vaughn (works well)

Marianne Jean-Baptiste (excellent)

Vincent D'Onofrio (a genius)

The music is fantastic as is the photography. The imagery of the mind of a serial killer works to make a great film for me.

Got me thinking. What would my sub-conscious look like? What would yours look like?
(Fluke feels bitter as well as thick, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 1:51, 1 reply)

I just watched Rumble in the Bronx...
This film has everything:

-A lady on the loo while her house falls down
-Hovercrafts attacking bands
-Hovercrafts destroying cars
-Hovercrafts attacking golf courses
-Giant green squirrels attacking hovercrafts
-Baddies having their clothes sucked off (by hovercrafts)
-Moustaches
-Awful(ly funny) dubbing
-A half naked lady on a swing with a tiger
-"Hovercraaaaaaaaft!"
-Martial arts
-Diamonds that you don't need to go to the bathroom
-Hand stands
-An overjoyed disabled child who thinks his sister is hot
-Motorbikes
-80s punk fashion
-A giant hovercraft
-And a final thumbs up from the man Jackie Chan

What more could you ask for??
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 1:25, 5 replies)

Hmmm
Cassablanca and The Maltese Falcon - both contain sterling performances from Humphery Bogart and both have so much dry wit to them that they make me wonder why the entire thing about americans not "getting" british humor ever came about.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 0:42, Reply)

Its hard to pick just one movie
So here is a list of my favorite movies.

Pirates of the Caribbean series
Lord of the Rings series
Back to the Future series
Indiana Jones series
Star Wars series
The Fugitive
US Marshals
Under Siege
Air Force One
Jack Ryan series
Jurassic Park
Terminator series
Top Gun
Die Hard series
Jason Bourne series
The Andromeda strain
Armageddon
Stephen King's The Stand [mini-series]
Stephen King's Storm of the Century [mini-series]
SpiderMan series
Ghostrider
Transformers
Iron Man
Fantastic 4
Batman series
I, robot
Firewall
Signs
The Village
War of the worlds
Across the Universe
Pink Floyd's The Wall
Men in Black
Shrek
Harry Potter series
edit: I forgot robocop
_____________________
These are movies I think are really good. Pink Floyd's the Wall is a movie with music completely by Pink Floyd. I like Pink Floyd and the movie was good but if you don't like Pink Floyd you don't have to see the movie. Across the Universe is another music movie featuring music from the Beatles. Signs, The Village and the Andromeda strain are slow complicated movies but they are real good. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and the Jason Bourne series are also complicated but they get to the point fast. The Hunt for Red October is also a deep complicated movie. I only saw it once but I still don't understand the whole thing. I need to see it again. Stephen Kings The Stand and Stephen Kings storm of the Century are TV mini-series and both of them are really long but really good. When these two mini-series are on TV, commercials add 2 hours.
(NERDYLURKER is attempting to divide by zero, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 0:35, 4 replies)

ten-four rubber duck...
haven't seen CONVOY for ages!!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 19 Jul 2008, 0:32, 2 replies)

Lone Star
John Sayles directs, a superb twisty turny murder mystery, beautiful performances from all concerned - from the stellar cast (Chris Cooper, Kris Kristofferson, Matthew McConaughey in his break-out role) to the bit parts - a tragic love story, an incredible villain ... and its all really an allegory about multiracialism in modern day texas.

Stunning. Why can't all films be this good?
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Sat 19 Jul 2008, 0:24, Reply)

iFilm shuffle in my head x 10
Blazing Saddles
"Baby. I'm not from Havana."

Life of Brian
"...and I want to make this absolutely clear..."

The Philadelphia Story
"I can't afford to hate anybody. I'm only a photographer."

Point Break
"The correct term is Babes, sir."

La Dolce Vita
"By 1965 there'll be total depravity. How squalid everything will be."

Lawrence of Arabia
"No, Dryden, it's going to be fun."

Casablanca
"Marchons! Marchons!"

The Big Sleep
"I don't mind if you don't like my manners, I don't like them myself. They are pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings."

The 39 Steps [1935 version]
"There are 20 million women in this island and I get to be chained to you."

Kelly's Heroes
"Crazy! I mean like so many positive waves maybe we can't lose! You're on! "
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 0:00, 2 replies)

"March hare to big bopper"
I've too many "favourite" films and depending on state of inebriation, company and mood any number of them vie for top spot. One thing I know for sure is that I will never tire of the opening sequence of Mad Max. Shot on a shoestring, littered with continuity errors and not without a few instances of "madly speeded up film syndrome" I know all of this and still couldn't give a shit. It is pure, tungsten cored brilliance. I find myself hooked every time I watch it. I find the cars to be as much characters as the actors- the aforementioned March Hare, a 200,000 mile ex taxi who's engine teetered on the edge of self destruction throughout filming (check the smoke coming out the back during the shots coming into town), Big Bopper- that geniunely did start after ploughing into that little blue van with no input from a mechanic, and of course the Pursuit Special and the first Interceptor- cars responsible for some truely splendid audio porn as they head towards the end of the road. The end sequences with the second black Interceptor are more famous but I will always love the opening more.

Of course beyond that I adore Apocalypse Now (although Redux is a bit self indulgent), Fight Club, Downfall, Akira, Metropolis (the Fritz Lang one not the noisy Anime), The Incredibles and err Toys- yes the bizarre Robin Williams and LL Cool J thing in the fields- I just find it absolutely beautiful.

Length? I don't really much like 'em over two hours to be honest.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 23:21, Reply)

Ooh good qow
1st prize goes to Saving Private Ryan...Went to see this in my local flicks..I was stunned,so thought provoking and the camera angles,viewpoints,the beach landings terrifying ,felt like you were actually there,epic film making.
John Carpenters The Thing....Frightened the shit out of me,nasty motherfucking alien nastiness.
Brainstorm...Awesome concept, visually stunning.
Alien...chest bursting clostrophobic tastic.
Life of Brian..No I,M BRIAN AND SO IS MY WIFE,awesome.
Highlander...Total escapism.
THREADS..Post nuclear apocolism.
So many I,ll be your all night.
(andycrass loves two hats on, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Moviedrome
Alex Cox used to present a selection of great movies on BBC2 many years ago now.

It was a fantastic show and I saw some great films on that slot - The Loveless, 84 Charlie Mopic, Charlie Varrick, Electra Glide in Blue and many others.

They should bring it back, it was great.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Fri 18 Jul 2008, 23:06, 4 replies)

I have an idea for a fillum
And I'm posting it on here in the hope and expectation that you'll all act as vicars and support me in this when Hollywood steals my idea and walks rough-shod over me.

Right. Picture this. A crack commando team...

I KNOW you've seen it before. This is the fillum representation and besides, George Peppard is dead.

Okay, so brass tacks are that I want an A-Team film. I do.

And do you know what... I've almost casted it.

How do you like this? George Clooney as Hannibal Smith. Brad Pitt (a la 12 Monkeys and Fight Club) as Howlin' Mad Murdoch. As BA? You couldn't look any further than the original Mr T. You couldn't...

But I can't cast Face. Who? WHO? And what do you reckon to Clooney and Pitt? Eh?

Oh, the plot... Well, I thought some multi-national corporation could be fucking up some New Mexican village. The head-villager, enervated by this bullying, approaches the silver-headed, British voiced (Alan Rickman?) main villain and ends up dead.

His daughter, a fine bit of jail-bait who'll catch Face-man's eye, approaches a waiter with a slightly plasticky face to bemoan her, and her village's loss, only to have the reveal as Hannibal Smith who promises to help...

BA advises not willing to travel by plane. Murdoch drugs his milk. They turn up in New Mexican village via a slight run-in with some junior villains who are thrown about by an awakened and infuriated BA. Daughter shows Face the ropes and promises him money for the help and meanwhile, Hannibal plots and BA chases Murdoch.

SOMEHOW A-Team are captured by bad-guys and locked in a weapons-grade munitions and peanut butter factory fully fitted with an oxy-acetylene torch. A-Team build a peanut-powered jet-bomber based on the chassis of a WW2 Sherman Tank left lying about.

Murdoch flies the jet-bomber on a seemingly suicidal flight whilst Alan Rickman clings onto his ramp. Luckily he is delivered to a landing pad where Hannibal can put his leather-gloved mitt on his shoulder, spin him around and clout him good-style on his fizzog.

A-Team win. Girl ditches Face. No money changes hands and the Military Police hove into view in 1970's olive-green US sedans.

All cheer.

Whaddoyou think?
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 23:04, 4 replies)

Akira
Is fucking epic in my opinion. I love the whole story for it and how beautiful it is. It's like an amazing anime' film - my favourite and it always leaves me awe inspired (but my Girlfriend hates it - how lame is that?).

In terms of films that aren't animated I'd say I love Fear & Loathing, Dead Man's Shoes and 28 Days Later because they are just the most amazing stories ever. XD Love them because they leave me feeling 'wow' inside*.

*Yes, I know how that sounds.
(Mongoose1770 is a bag of balls, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:58, 3 replies)

Freaks
The Tod Browning classic. Wonderfully acted by genuine freaks of their day, the wee midget in the lead role pulls out an acting tour de force, his face is so full of expression and pathos, amazing.

Torso man, well, he speaks for himself, and the pinheads, like pets, but with a shard of intelligence, like when one of them spills a drink from the goblet and uncued, at the back, wipes their face.

A life affirming film that proves that the freaks, the underdogs cannot be beaten by the normals.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQkYGhmdMig

Just a Boys Game

Not a film, more of a play. Set in Greenock, Scotland, it follows our 2 anti heroes Jake and Dancer as the collide and interact with everything late 70's clydeside, shipyard, west of scotland has to throw at them. Grim and relentless it doesn't shrink back from exposing the murky filth and law of the street that held that era together.

Frankie Miller puts in an astonishing performance as Jake McQuillan, his one and only acting role. A talent wasted.

Bathe yourself in the liquid patter of this clip. Probably my favourite film of all time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsVYudrpriI
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:42, Reply)

Bloodsuckers
Vampires, and space cowboys, and a truly awfull plot-line. I love it, but then I have a thing for B-movies.... Makes very little sense....
(Violet kicks arse for the Lord, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:42, Reply)

La Bete
I went to see this film after its' write up in the cinema guide made it sound like a silly man-in-a-suit monster movie. Perfect for a Sunday afternoon, I thought.

I was, therefor, quite surprised when it started with 5 minutes of horses fucking in extreme close up.

Then even more surprised when the beast of the title appeared - a man in a silly suit - yay! -sporting a giant erection :(

More surprise came when the creature then went on a really long Benny Hill style rape chase:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV0xScJuYXc

If you are worried by what happens at the end of the mild peril in this clip, she does escape. She escapes by climbing a tree, reaching down with her feet and giving it a foot wank to graphic climax.

I have never left a cinema more embarrissed. Everyone who works there knew what I had just seen. Paid to see. On my own.

Still, it's a very enjoyable 90 minutes. Three stars.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:36, Reply)

Stop Motion animation is always strange and beautiful
Ladislas Starewicz basically made Toy Story in 1933 using it:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-mkGqcvKPM

I found out about this film after seeing it chosen as one of Terry Gilliam's top ten animations. All of which are worth a look - he knows his stuff.
( monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:17, Reply)

art of the devil 2
Seriously fucked up Thai film!
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:11, Reply)

A movie of sorts, I suppose...
Remember That Night, the concert footage of David Gilmour playing the Albert Hall.

The man may be getting elderly, but goddam he ROCKS.

Seriously. I watch that DVD and get tears. He's that good.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 18 Jul 2008, 22:03, 1 reply)

The village
- only works the first time around though.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 21:50, Reply)

Auch Zwerge haben klein angefangen
(Even dwarfs started small)

Wonderfully disturbing.

To quote IMDB:
'The inhabitants of an institution in a remote country rebel against their keepers. An allegory on the problematic nature of fully liberating the human spirit, as both commendable and disturbing elements of our nature come forward. The allegory is developed in part by the fact that the film is cast entirely with dwarfs.'
( mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 21:26, 1 reply)

Angel Heart (an Alan Parker film)
And according to IMDB, quite a few agree with this being a fantastic film.

It's very dark, it's gripping and the acting is good.

The atmosphere of the film and the fantastic story is the reason why I love it so much.
I just knew something sinister was afoot but for the life of me couldn't fathom it out until the end.

So many twist and turns, so many clues that don't become obvious until the end.

I have just ordered a special edition DVD and cannot wait until it arrives!
( Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 21:16, 4 replies)

I shouldn't admit this, but...
What Dreams May Come rips me up every damn time. Especially when his wife is trapped in a hell of her own making and he's trying to rescue her.

Cuts a little too close to home. I've tried to save people from their own demons, many times. It doesn't work. You just end up getting hurt yourself.

I know it's Robin Williams, but still...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 18 Jul 2008, 21:06, 3 replies)

Spoiler T Shirt
What every movie buff needs, an awesome T shirt.

Spoilt by Oliver Moss:



Why not start your Christmas shopping now?
because they have sold out, that's why not
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 20:44, 7 replies)

Anyone
mentioned 'Falling down' yet? It's one of those films I love but never thought to look for the DVD. Usually I am not a fan of Michael Douglas, but his portrayal as a man who finally snaps while in a traffic jam and goes on a glorious vigilante spree is excellent. All he wants to do is get home for his kids birthday. Memorable but sad ending too.
(Prof. Moriarty put his foot in it on, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 20:44, 2 replies)