The stuff of legends
My first year roommate thought that the best way for us to get to know each other was for him to have screaming, crying, to-the-death arguments with his girlfriend at 3am, on MY phone. I begged to differ.

We had only met 2 or 3 times at this point, and I needed to come up with an icebreaker. With some housemates on guard duty, I made sure I knew the second he walked in the front door.

At this point, I should tell you that our room's floor was made of one giant sheet of nearly indestructable linoleum, which I found, through experiment, stands up well to heat.

When he entered our room, he was greeted to the sight of his roommate for the next eight months sitting on the floor in the lotus position behind a giant burning blue pentagram. Note: rubbing alcohol burns quite a pretty shade of blue.

He stared blankly for several seconds, then quietly closed the door and didn't return for 3 days.

3 years later, when I returned to residence for another program, a freshman told me the story of the maniac who performed satanic rituals in his room, and was caught in the act by his horrified roommate.

I am legend.
(AmosTheSafetyElephant, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 6:26, Reply)

This is a total re-post from the 'Have you ever started a fire?' QOTW about two years ago. Oh well.
A fire? I started a beauty!
About a three years ago, I went up to a friends place in Devon and we got very drunk. On exiting the final pub, we went to find something to do. This town is at the mouth of a big river and there is a large bay, the edge of which is a path leading to the next place on the coast with a grassy bank stretching down to the water. There is also a boat yard here. After swimming in the river (Oh yes. A bloody great idea that), and being rude to people on passing trains (it's right by the station) we raided the boatyard and managed to find a packet of flares. In attempting to set one off, I dropped the pack and the long grass of the river bank instantly caught alight due to the dry weather. We ran. About an hour later (apprx 3:00am) I went back to see if it'd gone out and there were three fire engines on the scene. Next day inspections showed that we'd managed to burn about 100m of the river bank to black. I'm sorry.
( The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 6:05, Reply)

In my youth
In my youth...fire was always a fascination...firstly when i set fire to my curtains with a deoderant can flamethrower when trying to torch a daddy long legs....I was never allowed curtains in my room after that. But, anyway...the main firey incident occured one very boring day when i was about 16. My freinds and I were rather unoccupied when we stumbled on a full canister of propane gas...the ones used to power caravans. Well, the question was ask as to how to get through its somewhat crunchy shell to the firey goodness inside. Being the intuitive young lad i was i reccomended filling up the rather redundant condom that resided in my wallet with the gas. Attaching the propane filled condom to a road sign i proceded to try and set it alight with a flaming stick when whhoooomph..up it went up in a mushroom cloud taking my eyebrows with it. It didnt stop there..as my freinds and i grew more confident and eager for bigger explosion, condoms were tied together and longer sticks were used for more impressive explosions. The climax being a phonebox filled to the top with about 20 johnnys. This was too bigger display to use a mere stick for so i threw in a flaming piece of paper and the phonebox was no more. Of course, we legged it, but on a later inspection the metal frame had warped and the plastic melted in the heat. However, this was not enough to satisfy our growing lust for destruction and our pyromanic eyes turned to the propane can itself....
Turning it upside down my freind opened the valve and ignited the plume of gas.We ran to cover, bracing for the fireworks display that was to ensue. But alas...it wasn't to be as the fire brigade arrived seconds later to put out the rather large flame thrower in the middle of a carpark. Took them 2 hours to put it out though. Which looking back on it was not a good thing. O yer and we blew up an abandoned car with a homemade bomb we concocted...What scallywags we were....
(Sketchy_Pete, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 3:42, Reply)

Fire Escape
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"

The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.

"No! It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"

"Ok," says the redhead and she jumps.

SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the blonde says, "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . ."


Yeah.. I totally only read the subject of the question. Oh wells.
(britishbroccoli, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 2:39, Reply)

You know those
storm drains that lead from your backyard to the sidewalk. Well being young and stupid my friends and I wondered where this mysterious hole on the edge of the sidewalk led to. Naturally the only way to find out would be to light a bottle rocket, stick it in the hole and wait for the explosion. We figured when we heard the explosion we could figure out where it led to. So we light the bottle rocket, stick it in the hole and wait for it to go off. It went off alright. In my neighbors back yard. No fire, but a whole lot of smoke. Good times.
(If your not a manc your a wank, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 2:17, Reply)

Early childhood trauma
My sister and I were watching cartoons on Sunday morning (instead of going to church I dunno). It was the Bugs bunny one with the big hairy monster and Bugs is giving the monster a permanent with dynamite, at the moment the monster's head blew up, so did our T.V. set. We could see the flames inside the cabinet, Dad,swearing profusely, carried it out into the front lawn,it didn't really flame too much and I think it just went out by itself. Other than the shock I don't remember being too afraid at the time, and I was probably more sad at having no T.V. for a while than anything.
(annfyban, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 0:55, Reply)

Well, y'know that thing where you make a flamethrower out of an aerosol?? Well, I used to call it "Petes Deoderant Trick". I still do, as a matter of fact.

So I was at this bonfire a year ago, and we'd run out of fireworks. At 9PM, we wanted some more fireworks dammit, so I asked my mate for a aerosol. Grinning wildly (we were pissed) he dashed into the house and got about 10 deoderant cans. Retrieving my ever so handy Zippo for lighting up my ciggies, I did my ever so pretty trick. Rather than the flame going back in the can, I ended up setting my mates rabbit hutch on fire (he doesn't even have a fucking rabbit), on which I had perched the other deoderant cans. The flames grew wilder, and getting closer to the aerosols, one of my none-drunk mates said "LEG IT YOU STUPID FUCKS, THOSE CANS ARE GOING TO EXPLODE!" We pegged it out of the backgarden, I jumped over the backgate, fell flat on my arse, got up pretty damn quick and legged it accross the street. Cue a rather large explosion. We wait 20 minutes, and it starts raining. Thank fuck, we think. We go back and theres still quite a bit of fire, so my non drunk mate goes in again and gets a bucket of water, and chucks it over the fire.

Due to the explosion, btw, most of his fence got knocked down.

One more:

I got a really big pipe once, and attached about 5 fuck-off rockets onto it, tied all the fuses together, and nearly killed myself. My friends and family were all shouting "COME AWAY YER DICKHEAD!" because I was just standing there watching the fuses burn.

*bow out*
(getdown is not spanish, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 0:48, Reply)

...
the morning after the fourth of july my family was greeted to the sight of six foot flames shooting out of the top of our garbage can.

"WHO THE HELL WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT HOT FIREWORKS IN THE GARBAGE?" my dad kept yelling.

err...

That would be me. I have since learned that used fireworks can stay hot even after being left out all night. Who would have known...




ps: our new garbage can has a pirate drawn on it. woo!
(sponch!, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 23:57, Reply)

nappy rash and chappie fires
Friends of mine had a similar experience, only using a can of creamed corn. Boiling, exploding creamed corn.

Once when I was 14 a friend and I reported a fire. We were wandering about around midnight (hooray for neglectful parenting!) and came around a school to find the wooden playground structure fully engulfed in flame. So we ran over to the nearest house with a light on and called the fire department. You'd think we'd get a little medal or something, what with the town being in the middle of a drought so severe they'd banned smoking outside because of the fire hazard.

But no. What I get instead in harassed for the next three weeks by a fire department bound and determined to prove WE set the fire. Why the f&ck would we report our own fire? They even used the old, "That's not what your friend told us" line, which I relayed to my mother, who informed me that this is known and the divide-and-conquer technique of interrogation. She's military, you see, and knew perfectly well her kid wasn't an arsonist, even if the Madison FD had their heads up their asses.

I should've just let it burn, anyway; it was behind a Catholic school.
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 23:45, Reply)

4 teaspoons of smoke mix I mentioned in my last post + teddy =

(madsporkmurderer, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 23:45, Reply)

Boys will be firestarters!
My two lads have always been a bit.....lively. Luckily this has only ever caused minor damage to the family home so that's alright then.
Incident 1 - Eldest son aged about 7 calling casually down the stairs "mum, there's smoke coming out of Vintage's bedroom" "Yeah yeah, course there is" "No really, there's smoke". Thought perhaps I'd better take a look and there is indeed smoke. Panicking slightly, I run in to find that 5 year old Vintage has poured his drink over his bedside lamp causing his lightbulb to explode, at which point he decides to cover the whole sorry mess with his pyjamas 'so mum doesn't find out' and pretends to be asleep. Luckily just some singed pyjamas that time.
Incident 2 - I come down one Sunday morning not long after incident 1 to see Vintage and his brother sitting innocently watching children's TV. Aaahh, I think, how sweet, I'll go and get a cup of tea. But what's this?The kitchen seems to be flooded with water with bits of burnt vinyl flooring underneath. Mutual alibi time, nobody knows anything. I find out much later that Vintage had decided to discover what happens when a few vitamin tablets are put directly on to the burners of the gas cooker turned up nice and high. Apparently they explode, showering the plastic kitchen floor with bits of burning tablet, at which point obviously you have to throw lots of water on the floor and go and watch TV.
And I used to be so careful to hide the bloody matches!
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 8 Nov 2005, 22:35, Reply)

the lack of fire, rather.
When I was 10 I got to acolyte(light the candles) in church for the first time. I was the only kid attending that day, so I had to do it alone. So out I go, leading in the choir, etc, when I notice the flame on my little candle-lighting stick is getting dim. I reach up to push the wick out some more, and the sleeve on my robes catches fire, and puts out the candle.
So, being the cool cat that I am, I held the candle stick up to my burning sleeve to re-light it, and then non-chalantly shook the fire out. Miraculously, nobody noticed, but they were confused about the smell.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 22:16, Reply)

University Fire alarms
The fire alarms are seriously crap at my uni (The University of Manchester- the North Campus (UMIST) incase anyone here knows it)I rememberit going off in the Library (Joule) and it was seriously just a beep, silence for 5 minutes and then another beep. Everyone was just sat there wondering what it was for 10 minutes until the librarian told us it was the fire alarm and we had to leave.
There was still people queing up to take books out as I left.
Im seriously scared incase we really do have a fire and its not a drill...
(purplefairy, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 19:50, Reply)

School
Was nearing the end of term. We were in our class when the fire alarm went off. "Probably someone mucking around" said the teacher. The alarm got turned off after 20 seconds or so. About a minute later it went off again, and was quickly turned off. It went off for a third time, this time it didnt go off so we went out onto the playing field where we learnt that there was actually a fire, in the toilets, next to the science rooms!

It took about 15 minutes from the first fire alarm until we actually started to leave the building!
(Lewis Anigav, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 19:31, Reply)

Destorying a Field..... By Accident!!
Lets set the scene, me and a few mates with the required annoying sibling were out in the middle of summer. Having found one of those dry wipe markers we see that there flammable, being young and male we decide this is a theory that need proving. So we disappear to a field boundary where footpath meets Christmas tree field.

So after much pissing about we find that you can't light these pens. While we were trying to burn this damn pen the annoying sibling had insisted on burning bits of newspaper.

After slapping him he knocked it on the floor and we continued messing about. Cue 3ft flames and the shout of 'fire!'. Being upstanding citizens we strolled over to the small stream about 200m away and while we were searching for a bucket I turned around to see that the 3ft fire has become a 30ft fire and is doing very well by burning all the dry grass. Having stared at it for 30secs we did what anyone would have done, we legged it.

On returning a few days later we found the fire had burnt 100 meters of dry grass and most of a field, still didn’t get caught so it’s all good.

Tim
(The Better Tim! Free of them STDs since, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 19:28, Reply)

Beer cans and Fire...try it.
Some old school friends and I used to get together for a long weekend at the coast (Cromer, Norfolk to be precise) every summer for some drinking and relaxing. We used to camp, which meant no fires so we'd head off to the beach so we could make some noise around a big old camp fire. The first night involved some late night swimming followed by drying of the underwear next to the fire. My good friend must have confused 'next to' with 'on the' because thats where he threw mine. Anyway, later on we'd all had plenty to drink and decided to call it a night. Just as we all stood up to gather out blankets and rubbish (yes we're good like that) theres an almighty bang/wooshing noise followed by sudden darkness. After the initial shock we look around to see that half way up the cliff and spread out across the beach in a 40ft radius are thousands of glowing embers from the fire. We assume that someone had chucked an unopened beer can on the fire which then boiled and exploded.

Not one person was injured and it proved a bloody good way to put out a fire. Go on give it a go!
(The Duke of Pontefract, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 19:18, Reply)

Basic Training
I work for teh good ol' NHS,at Frenchay. As part of our mandatory training we got told some classy stories by firemen. My favourite was a bearded bloke on oxygen, who also happened to be a smoker. Naturally its banned to smoke on wards, but this bloke gives it a go anyway. However, due to him being on oxygen all the oxygen molecules have soaked into his beard.

Which promptly ignites when he sparks up, removing his eyebrows and most of the skin from his face, though he didn't have to go far to the burns unit...
(The Crotch, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 19:15, Reply)

wheee

(meagle, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 18:42, Reply)

I remember it like it was only yesterday...
Early in the summer, around May if I am correct, I was working on a fairground ride out in the countryside. It was one where kids are strapped into bungee straps and bounce on a trampoline. It was really fun to do until a kid decides to somersault and nearly breaks their neck. Anyways we had this fair to do in a field about 200 miles from home (by we I mean my dad and his mate, lets call him alan.)
Ever the cheapskate, my dad decided it would be a good idea to pitch a tent rather than stay in the lovely warm B&B 5 minutes away. Go figure. Luckily, we got to the site a day early and so got to pick our own site, which just happened to be within stumbling distance of the beer tent. We got around to setting up the ride in the dark and nipped off to the beer tent whilst my dad was taking a leak behind a tree. A while later and a lot merrier I decided to make some toast on our cooker.
After many pints and a bit of weed I was obviously in no state to try this, but I was hungry. I asked Alan to set up the gas stove so I could make the toast, and lit it with a blowtorch. I made some lovely toast and went off to finish putting up our ride. And of course I remembered to turn the gas off didn't I? I only noticed when the fire brigade turned up 10 minutes later to sort out the tent that had turned into a blazing inferno, blowing accross the field and destroying 3 other tents, a number of kites and even managed to set light to a tree. Luckily when the police arrived I was in a B&B, sleeping soundly in a very comfortable bed. The insurance paid out on all but our own tent, and it was quite expensive so I had to work the ride for free all weekend. Bastard insurance companies!
(Yes please, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 18:10, Reply)

Remarkably similar to The Little Pink Animal's experience
During my cigar smoking years I was refilling a ronson lighter from a can of butane. Here's a lesson: never underestimate the importance of choosing the right nozzle. This can make the crucial difference between the fuel going in the lighter and... well, going everywhere else. When I went to test the flint the pool of rapidly evaporating butane on the kitchen table was converted into a brief but spectacular fireball that engulfed my head. I managed to singe my eyebrows and eyelashes in addition to my hair. Remarkably I managed to put it out by blowing very hard but it remains the most exciting second of my life.

I also have a penchant for flambeeing things. You'd think by now I'd have worked out that if you immediately ignite a hefty slug of brandy in a big frying pan you get a sheet of flame tall enough to scorch the paint on the ceiling. It tastes good though and nothing sets you up for a meal better than the smell of singed artex.
(flimflam_machine, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 17:14, Reply)

November 5th 199x
One fine day I decided to make my own fireworks for November 5th and, using my limited knowledge of physics and chemistry, I hit on the following method.

I filled an old plastic bathtub full of water and put in an anode and a cathode and then ran a DC current through the bugger. As predicted, I got a stream of oxygen bubbles from one end and hydrogen bubbles from the other. I collected the hydrogen into bin bags and, as they filled up, sealed them and tied them to a handy fence post. After a few hours work I had 25 of the fuckers bobbing prettily in the breeze.

I'd already prepared the fuses. I'd made a potassium nitrate solution, soaked a load of twisted lengths of toilet paper in it and dried my fuses off in the airing cupboard. Then I tied the fuses, about 10 foot to a fuse, to the bottom of each hydrogen filled bin bag. Phase one complete.

Then I had a couple of beers with my mates and waited for dark to fall. After a few more beers 7pm rolled round and I was ready to setoff my fireworks. I'd reckoned that once I lit the fuses and released the bin bags, they'd float up a couple of hundred feet and then explode with pretty flames and big bangs.

Wrong.

I lit the fuses and let the bin bags loose as planned but then things started to go awry. Instead of gently floating up to the desired altitude and exploding these bloody things shot up at an incredible speed. Far too fast. After a short time they disappeared from view and continued their rapid ascent - straight into the flight path of Manchester Airport where they exploded with a drawn out series of enormous bangs and huge fireballs. Bugger.

The next day, the newspapers had this harrowing tale told by a shaking pilot who described how he'd been gently descending on his glide path when, all of a sudden, these fireballs started exploding all around him. He said it was like being back in the Korean War and flying through enemy flak.


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 16:13, Reply)

When I was young...
A sunny Sunday afternoon was punctuated by the need to fix the curtains in my room. This meant that the net curtains were down, and seeing as my room faced south and was therefore sunny almost all the time, it was quite bright.

Now, my now deceased grandfather had recently given me a magnifying glass. It was a thing of beauty; polished brass handle and frame, crystal clear glass only marred by a chip in it, but this somehow added to the splendour.
I could spend hours with my magnifying glass, looking at dirt to make it bigger, pretending I was an ace detective, finding small lost items and so on. One thing I didn't know of though, was its ability to focus light into a heated beam.

So there I was, lying on my stomach, checking through my magnifying glass, when I noticed a strange occurrence when it was under strong light. I adjusted the angling of it so that the light had become a small dot. Thinking nothing of it, I turned to ask my mother a question (for she was the one fixing curtains). When I turned back the carpet was on fire.

Now, it was a very small fire, so I got up and stamped on it, extinguishing it. However, the smoke was thick, and I desperately tried to disperse it with a wave of my hand, before my mother noticed. I looked round for something to cover the scorch mark with, but to my dismay everything was too big or too small. I settled for sitting on it and forcing out a fart to cover the smell of smoke. The next 20 minutes were perhaps some of the most uncomfortable of my life, and as my mother left the room, content with her chores, I was sure she shot me a glance that boil lead.

The carpet was removed barely two years later when redecorating. I haven't set fire to this latest one so far.
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 15:58, Reply)

have a few fire stories me..
one time I was sitting at home watching telly (don't know what it was now, but it must have been pretty good)
I decided to fill my zippo with lighter fluid and proceeded to do so. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing since I was watching telly at the same time.
when done I tried the lighter to see that it worked. turned out I had spilt lighter fluid on my hand while filling the lighter and it was now set ablaze. I have played around with lighter fluid before, but this caught me slightly off guard. in a split second I started patting my hand against my leg to extinguish the flames only to discover that I had spilt quite a lot of lighter fluid on my leg too.
Now I sat there with both my hand and my leg flaming and slightly panicing. luckily I had a towel nearby that I had used while changing water in my fishtank earlier and managed to do away with the fire using that.

more to come when I get home from work...
( The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 15:25, Reply)

Fire! I bring you fire!
Hmm where shall I start, the burning bed, the napalm, exploding litter bins, that field or...


Ok, Im 9 or 10, 4th year junior and my mate and I nick some matches and cinnamon sticks from his mum, head over to the railway embankment. We try to smoke the sticks whilst sitting next to an upright dead tree, covered in dried out vines.

The cinnamon sticks were rubbish, but we decided to make a small fire where we were sitting, a few seconds later and it's spread to some of the dried vines down at the bottom of the tree. Uhoh i think, its a bit out of control, so we cover it in dirt, stamp about and look up to see the flames about to catch the rest of the vines. 2 seconds later and the whole tree is a 25ft tall pillar of flame. It was most impressive, and looked like the kind of thing God used to speak to people back in the Old Testament.

We run away to cries of anger as various blokes leg it out of their gardens and try and stop the fire. We ran down a stream and hid in some bushes. Eventually my mates dad calls us out, promising we wouldnt get in trouble,we are coaxed out, and sent home, although none of us got in real trouble due to us shitting our pants so much.

The main problem was the inaccessibility of the fire and the fact the pillar of flame was 10 ft from main branch line into liverpool street station, which had to be closed whilst they dealt with the fire.

So, to the quarter of a million commuters who were stranded for an hour way down the line in the London, due to the fire by the track in Brentwood. Sorry.
(PlayingWithKnives, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 14:35, Reply)

november6th
on the day after bonfire night, its the tradtion in my family to gather all the remains of fireworks and burn them on the still smoldering bonfire.

sometimes they go off inches from your feet!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 14:30, Reply)

for 'Not very much gravitas at all'
me a fire juggler too, ex-pro, now only when nagged into it. thank you for reminding me of the burps.

*shudders

to anyone else:
it really is very dangerous to long term health. VERY. a chemical engineer told me all about it. thats why i never do it. i hear you can get safe stuff tho... would probably never do it now tho.
(unlawful odour i dunno..., Tue 8 Nov 2005, 14:06, Reply)

Flat Warming?
I moved into my flat about six months before this happened! I had taken time to do up all the rooms in the flat except the kitchen. One night at 4.30 in the morning a food processor (Breville - Antony Warrel Thompson shite) decided it would like to suddenly burst inito flames. Well, it took the whole kitchen with it, along with the hallway and part of the lounge. Oh yeah and almost me too! I was fast asleep at the time and just decided it be far better to remain asleep and inhale as much toxic fumes as possible than to get up and get out! The paramedics said another minute and I would have been a goner! Thanks lads but I was quite enjoying the high I was getting!!
( McMookMac Crush Proof, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 13:58, Reply)

FIRE!!! RUN there is oxygen.
Yeah so last christmas at 5:30 in the my house burnt down to the freakin' down, yeah christmas morning. I ran outside with only my boxers and bathrobe, snow all over the ground no socks.

okay i sleep in the basement and sometimes when there is fire upstairs IN the fireplace the basement aswell will start to fill with smoke, so when i wake up from the smoke i think nothing of it i'm layin' there all comfy when i hear FIRE! from upstairs.

so lucky for us my bro was there, he called i guess pritty early so by the time i got outside the coppers were probably about 3 minutes away. plus on the way out he was helping everyone get out, living with us we have myself (duh) my mum, my dad was at work, both my grandparents from my mum's side, two dogs and i think one cat at the time. my bro pritty much helped my grandpa who is extremely slow and took care of my grandmother and our older dog (bless her she died a few months later)

so we get outside and we start to pile into my mum's car for warth and stuff. and a cp runs up to us "there is oxygen in the house" so she getts us all back and into tother police SUVs and cars.

after a few minutes my brother and the dogs are rushed into our neighbors house where we chill and i got wool socks (Mmm tasty).
about a nother half hour later my great uncle comes, he is a lawer for trucks (money than you think. so for a few months after we live with him.

now we aer in a house rented by insurence. Paper Thin Walls but i'm livin.

so now my brother is in florida, i get the whole basement to my self and when my bro left i get a bigger bed than eather one of us got (SHWING, girlfriendness).

We are rebuilding it and should be back in in by the end of the month... (i've heard that about three times now)...
(EvilHippie, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 13:22, Reply)

Holy Smoke
About ten years ago a bunch of us young school children were having our holy communion's in church. A lovely ceremony where we walked in single file up to the alter.
I didn't quite get my balance right and tripped over falling forwards. Lunging forward I forgot about the candle I was holding.
As I lunged forward the flame touched the long hair of the girl in front of me.
Hair burns quite quickly! Enough said.
(mattleydon, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 13:13, Reply)