I don't think I have ever
found a Peanuts cartoon strip funny.
( Malchick, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:14, Reply)

spinning
People, usually chav teenage girls whos conversation sounds like this:
"Then I turned around and said.."
"And then 'tasha turned round and was like you know"

It gives me visions of people just spinning round like lunatics.
Does me 'ead in.
(dukefukem, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:14, Reply)

The Thames
Why is the Thames pronounced Tems and not the THames?

Guess there is an answer (southerners!!!)
(Robble, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:12, Reply)

In Bristol
there was, it's borded up now, a motorbike repair garage. It was called "Piston Broke" I've passed it for bloody ages (at least 10 years). I got the joke recently, dumb ass doombrained twonk that I am.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:12, Reply)

I went years...
...not knowing what the bloody hell "cojones" were. Worse still, I actually thought it was pronounced "Co Jones".

What a load of bollocks.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:11, Reply)

why women pay a hundred fucking quid for a haircut, and 25 quid to get their friggin` nails done

ARE THEY STU-UPID?
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:07, Reply)

I will never understand...
The appeal of music like R & B and Garage and rap and shite like that. Why, oh why are the charts dominated by this soulless pathetic crap?
(Mr Slippyfist, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:06, Reply)

Chavs
I just don't get Chavs, they must realise that they are social scum and look complete twunts with their burbury hats, tucked in tracksuit bottoms and retarded "gangsta" attitude! FFS wake up!

This is not a question, this is more like a Rant Of The Week. Tally Ho!
(Fishbone-didi, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 13:02, Reply)

Lets see...
...Big list alert, some serious, some not.

On TV - What Not to Wear... I'll wear what the crap I want, if you don't like it that's your problem.

In film - Why Miss Congeniality got a sequal

In music - Why people sing Show me the Way to Amarillo like it's the best song out at the moment.

I don't understand why I saw a 25 year old woman letting her 7 year old son pick his favourite alcopop in the off license the other day.

Why people insist on calling me a nerd because I know a bit about computers but don't think twice about knowing a raft of completely dull football facts about goal scorers, top teams and so on.

I don't understand computer based (or real life) role play.

I don't understand the appeal of brands like Burberry.

I don't understand how people can take their working lives so amazingly seriously that they let their home and family lives suffer.

I don't understand people who are so pedantic about grammar.

I don't understand much to be honest. I just wander along minding my own business.
( beefandcheese, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:59, Reply)

jackass
wtf? a load of impossibly immature idiots performing stupid death defying stunts and then disappointing everyone by still being alive. not sure how when they appear too stupid to walk and breathe at the same time. i hate it. i hate everyone in it and i hate everyone that watches it. i do not understand why it passes for entertainment let alone humour, and i really don't understand why filming it and watching it are not criminal offences. load of tripe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:58, Reply)

einstein's theory of relativity
sign language? i see a bandwagon coming on
(woo who?, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:58, Reply)

Throbbe - You Are What You Eat
"...and have a face like someone's farted under your nose..."

The missus insists on watching people being ritually humiliated on this piece-of-shit programme week in, week out.

She asked me to tape it for her last night.

I didn't.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:55, Reply)

Gets on my its
I simply do not understand and have no patience for people who don't get the difference between its and it's. Sweet suffering Christ, how hard can it be?
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:54, Reply)

your brother is called Weazal?
mint
(woo who?, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:54, Reply)

People who write
£5000 pounds
(baco_the_foil, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:53, Reply)

life after 25

meh
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:53, Reply)

untidy Weazal
Weazal is my brother and is very untidy, so this is a very narrow band of WTF.
How can you eat something, and put the wrapper down on the desk and not think to put it in the bin, which sits less than a yard away from the computer desk??
I have a theory that femminism is to blame, blokes have been told not to look at women's breasts, so they now don't lower their eyes and therefore once it's left their hand, it not longer visually exists
( Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:51, Reply)

B3ta

( TechImp is trying to be nice (with great difficulty)., Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:48, Reply)

Stocks and shares, exchange rates, foreign economic policies,
mortgages, insurance, taxation, inflation, most anything financial confuses the 'loose change' out of me. God knows how I bought my own house...
( The Legendary Pink Dot survived yet another, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:47, Reply)

You are what you eat
TV programme for those outside the UK.

I cannot be alone in thinking that Dr Gillian is not a great advert for a healthy diet.

"Eat lots of fruit kids, and you too can look like you've been embalmed and reanimated several centuries later"

"and walk like you've got a broomstick shoved up your ass".
(Throbbe, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:42, Reply)

Hotdogs!
They sell them in packs of 8 while the buns usually come in packs of 6! You're trapped in a never-ending perpetual cycle of left over bunless sausage consumption! I'm sure there is some mathematical bun package to hotdog package equation that sorts this all out and I wouldn't be surprised if the answer were 42.

And where along the lines of this wonderfully mutating language we call English did the definition of "fanny" do a complete about face while crossing the pond!?!

First post!! Apologies for length, girth and savory barbeque flavor!
(YankyPanky, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:41, Reply)

Not Just a hat stand
I totally agree, I drink but dont see the point of getting so wasted that you end the night throwing up, its a good night out wasted.
(purplefairy, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:41, Reply)

The Fashion Industry
I sat through some of that awful "I Want to be a Glorified Clothes Horse" programme on Channel 5 last week and was struck by how self-important all these people are.

One of them, a photographer bloke, has a single word name (which he's had sewn into the back of his jacket) and acts like he's curing cancer!

He's taking pictures of starving adolescents who have been brainwashed into thinking that being so thin that your knees are wider than your thighs is more beautiful than being happy in your own skin!

Twats. The lot of them.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:38, Reply)

Vegetarians
Not that I have anything against vegetarians, its just when they say its wrong to eat meat because its killing animals and thats cruel. IT CALLED THE BLIMMIN FOOD CHAIN! And also people who watch animal documentaries and see, say a lion killing an antelope and go 'aww thats cruel' For gods sake its nature! On the other hand I dont get the need to hunt foxes, or kill sharks just for their fins, or dolphins just for medicine, thats cruelty.
(purplefairy, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:38, Reply)

Michael Parkinson
"ggrrfrrdeeebaadingdidverywellgrrrbumdinger"
what ever you say Mike.
(woo who?, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:38, Reply)

drunkness
Maybe it was the very religious upbringing by my teetotal mother (who has since stopped going to church and is now living with a mad russian woman) imposed on me and the Weazal, but I have never really understood the urge to get completely wankered on drink, knowing that you are going to feel sick as a dog the next morning.
I live off the main drag in Norwich (Prince of Wales Road) so frequently find myself puzzling over this one as drunken office cattle stagger off to Mercy or Time, stopping only to eat KFC, piss in the carpark opposite and fight while I try to enjoy a quiet fag off my balcony.
( Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:35, Reply)

People at Work who.......
After a weekend or a Bank Holiday come over to you and say

"Good Morning! - Did you have a good weekend?, What did you get up to?"

Why?

Why are you asking me, I don't like you, you don't like me so why are you asking me.

Its Monday morning, my head hurts, Im only here for the money and my mouth tastes like the back of Ghandi's Flip Flops.

Please do Fuck Off.
(hoogie Original Cunt Horse Author, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:33, Reply)

paul_in_nottingham
mono is mononucleosis which we call glandular fever. it's in a lot of programmes like "dawson's crack" and "the OC" that involve glamorous foetuses getting off with each other as most people get it from snogging, which supposedly you do a lot of at that age.

nope, i don't get why i felt the need to bore everyone with that either.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:30, Reply)

As a self-professed pedant...
I don’t get it when people say things such as “I literally died”. No – you “virtually”, or “nearly” died would be a suitable if probably just hyperbolic comment. “Literally” is not applicable as you unfortunately still have breath to utter such ridiculous comments.

I also don’t get why I’m not invited to more parties.
(Scoobs, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:30, Reply)