As I am watching the Wright stuff on channel 5
That Belinda Lang looks quite nice, my friend says she is not and she used to be fat. I have no idea who she is but would. And also Gail Porter, even if she is bald. I remember her arse on the houses of parliment.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 10:38, 5 replies)

Zara Ramm
Jason's mum from Grandpa In My Pocket - I'd go there. Always up for trying new things every episode, reckon she would be the same in the sack.
(ydkj, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 10:37, 9 replies)

Chyna
I'd go there!! even if her clit is bigger than my cock, I'd still pound that punani into next Tuesday!
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 10:28, 2 replies)

OH GOD MAKE IT STOP.
rik mayall
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 10:25, 1 reply)

Sports fans
Many male fans develop homoerotic man-crushes on players in the teams they support, but I never realised how competitive they can be about it. We're still hearing about how Liverpool fans had the biggest crushes.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 10:24, 12 replies)

Scarpe
Nuff said.

DE-RIS
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 9:44, 6 replies)

Iggy Pop.
His entire body looks like a mummified ear.
(Stickleback is carving faces into vegetables., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 8:59, 2 replies)

Commuting on a motorbike in London
you end getting in amongst the cyclists that herd around traffic lights.

Not infrequently, a nice spandex clad bum belonging to a lady cyclist will present itself for inspection. I'm just fine with that, it brightens up my day.

What is iffy is finding that after gawking at one of these lovely derrieres, it belongs to a man.
(username failed moderation, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 8:49, 10 replies)

as i clearly didnt read the subject properly last time....
after watching "Who do you think you are" last night, there was something sort of attractive about Tracey Emmin. Lovely legs and cute norks.

Id quite like to have a go on Mrs Incredible to. and possibly Sophie Raworth off the news.
(norfolk_is_gay, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 6:51, Reply)

Then there's this...
youtu.be/HNMq8XS4LhE

Iffy enough for you?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 3:21, Reply)

I'd
like to use Robs arsehole as a cunt.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 21:35, 10 replies)

This one's a bit of a tenuous connection
But it does contain someone who would be an iffy crush, so there's that

There was a girl in my year back in high school, who was...let's say, unfortunate looking. Let's call her Jane. She was ginger (never a good start), she often gave the impression of being greasy (without actually being so), had a face that wasn't so much bad-looking as completely nondescript, and was the proud owner of a body that was best described as 'lumpy.' Long story short, she looked like what I imagine a typical B3tan to be, only female.

Anyway, in our final year, the school, in a long-standing tradition of Americanisation, had us organise a yearbook. The students in charge decided to hold a year-wide vote on a number of student awards. By an overwhelming majority, Jane won the award for "Best looking female"...and the award for "Best looking male"

She must have been so proud...
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 20:26, 6 replies)

Tigra
from the Thundercats......even though there's a strong chance he's gay.
(Jugular, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 19:27, 2 replies)

Women wiith a lisp
I've mentioned this before. I've tried to work out when this started and it might be the fault of Toyah Wilcox. The early eighties singer. If you don't know who she is ask your mum. Or better still your dad. or you could ask Youtube.
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 19:23, 8 replies)

I feel quite ashamed about this one.
Jedward.

Yeah, both of them. I know, they're a pair of fucking morons with no talent and really stupid hair. But I so would.

I found a music video they'd done where they danced around in their pants. It gave me the raging horn.
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 18:49, 7 replies)

Debbie Harry
She was stunning back in the day with Blondie and she's still gorgeous now. At the age of 66. Old enough to be my granny and I still would without a moments hesitation.

That is all.
(Atomised teabagged your mum on, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 18:20, 6 replies)

Muslim womens eyes give me the horn.
I'm only saying this because I hope that this spreads amongst the Muslim community. Bhurkas and sunglasses are an excellent looking combination.
( Muns, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 17:24, 7 replies)

Definitely iffy, extremely short, entirely accidental
I was sitting on a bench in a community centre, drinking tea while I idly watched some Chinese people in giant inflatable animal suits trying to get through the narrow doors. Don't ask.

I'm aware that someone has sat beside me, but don't pay much attention. When I do happen to look that way, my eyes are drawn to a rather spectacular cleavage: a plunging neckline and push-up bra combined with flawless alabaster skin -- the kind of skin (and cleavage) that only teenage girls have, and which an entire industry exists to try to convince women they can preserve. I guessed she was about 17; I couldn't see her face for the moment as she's looking the other way, so I simply enjoy the view for a few seconds.

...Until she looks around, and I suddenly want the earth to open up and swallow me, as I realise it's my ex-girlfriends daughter. A girl who I was effectively step-father to for over a year, when she was about 4.

Didn't help at all that, when she saw me, she jumped up and gave me a big hug.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 17:21, 3 replies)

Sophie Ellis Bextor
Face looks a bit like a builders shovel, but count me in.
(username failed moderation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 15:42, 3 replies)

I quite fancy /talk.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 15:34, 24 replies)

In my teens...
I had a bit of a thing for Venessa Feltz.

I have no idea what I was thinking.

Though my missus now takes the piss at every available opportunity because I fancy Pink.
(ScousersPet, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 15:01, 5 replies)

Do you ever watch old films or TV and think Wow?
I like to watch old movies, sometimes though a classic beauty catches the eye and it leads to some time on Google to find out who they were and then the sad news of when they died.

So as a pre-Goth Teenager, I discovered the original Adams Family, in black and white. It was darker and funnier than the Munsters, but the whole reason for watching was Morticia, played by Carolyn Jones. She was everything a young goth loved, pale, charming and beautiful. Sadly she died of Colon Cancer in 1981, I was eight and would not discover her for another ten years.

Another crush that started in my twenties was on the fantastically beautiful Siouxsie Sioux, she was great with the Banshees, but when she did Prettiest thing with the Creatures on Jules Holland's show, I was engulfed in a love affair that continues to this day. She is older than my father, but she looks amazing even now and happily is not dead yet!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:47, 5 replies)

Sarah Milican
Am I the only one who wants to boff her??
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:59, 12 replies)

Steffi Graf
Aah, late '80s ladies tennis, where all eyes were on the latina lovely Gabriella Sabatini... except for mine.
I lusted after the teutonic terror Steffi Graf - squinty eye and a hooter you could springboard off but the legs, oh the legs!
Saw her a few months ago on the bbc for something or other - looked like a younger, more attractive Celine Dion. Definitely improved with age.
(Darth Thump, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:37, 4 replies)

Those of us of a certain age, maybe 45 plus, will have been glued to the screen to watch Valerie Singleton. Never made any of the things but even in monochrome, a riveting programme.
Length only 3592 days.
(Nosmo King, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:48, 1 reply)

I don't know what I was thinking.
I bought an REM single. That was a dodgy Crush [With Eyeliner].
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:33, 6 replies)

Not me, but my missus
My other half has some proper dodgy crushes.

I like curvy and/or posh women, so most of mine have been said (Dawn French, Kirstie Allsopp, Supernanny etc etc). Sarah Palin gives me the ladyhorn though.

My mrs though has shite taste, such as Denise Welch (mouthy geordie bint off Loose Women, Benidorm etc), Miranda Hart (unfunny, freakishly tall run-of-the-mill tory resembling a horse), Diana Vickers (skinny, flat-chested x-factor reject) and for some inexplicable reason given she's as gay as the day is long, Gary Barlow.

Least I know she won't leave me for someone fitter than me.
(flyme, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:01, 9 replies)

Grotbag's funbags
'nuff said.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 11:46, 4 replies)

I wonder if ScaryDuck will admit that this qotw was a fucking disaster, even by qotw standards?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 11:20, 16 replies)

More Iff


Scarpe, Vagabond and SLVA at the last b3ta bash, say what you like about their looks, I fancy them.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 11:10, 11 replies)