Serial Killer Top Trumps
After a chat with some fellow sick minded individuals, we hit upon a genius idea... Serial Killer Top Trumps.

Derek Bird...
Kills... 11
Sentence... Suicide
Planning... Spur of the Moment

Stephen Griffiths...
Kills... 3
Sentence... Likely life
Planning... 20 years

You get the idea!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:13, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New Proverbs and sayings
an apple a day, keeps the doctor away; bad luck to walk under a ladder; itchy right hands lead to money coming your way.

All examples of (rather tame) old fashioned sayings passed down from parent to child. Open up photoshop and give these a revamp by introducing new sayings, proverbs etc. which can be passed on to following generations.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 10:17, Reply)

One word compo challenge (cos the giraffe one is ace).........Animalympics.

( Chumps 👀, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)

b3ta Challenge On Stilts!
The BMA described homeopathy yesterday as "Nonsense on stilts". Brilliant! Everything's more fun on stilts! Photoshop your favourite activities - on stilts!
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Celebrity X Rays
Today some X Rays of Marilyn Monroe's chest (no puns about wide angle lenses please) sold for about £29,000. Boot up photoshop and creat X Rays of your favourite celeb. (edit first one to do Heather Mills gets a lolly).


( The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Survivors
I love the whole post apocalyptic, pandemic virus, last person alive film genre... but I don't live in the big city so will never see the lonely ruins of Big Ben. Instead I'd be looking at overgrown farms and abandoned caravans, in fact it could be the end of the world today for all I know?
What would the end of the world look like to a local?
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Make animals better by turning them into mecha-creatures.
Y'know, like armoured buffalo or spy mice that can upload what they've seen from under the skirting board, or something.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Britian invaded by animals
shop some animals who are gun-totting sword-swiping laser-zapping crazy, and ready to destroy us all and destroying famous landmarks etc.
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:39, Reply)

The DVLA have just robbed me of another 35 quid for no very good reason other than that they can.
Photoshop the money-grabbing, driver-sodomising bastards.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)

friendly riots
Recent riots in Toronto have thrown up plenty of shoppable images. Protestor getting hit by a carebearstare?
(tb2571989 dies at precisely, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 10:45, Reply)

FAST Test
The Dept of health launched their FAST test (Face, Arms, Speech, Time to call 999) to raise stroke awareness a few months ago now - you can see the original here.

It's ripe for a piss-take. There have been a couple already (e.g. this one) but I reckon there's much more where that came from.
(Cheeselog is mostly water, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

If dogs are supposed to look like there owners
What do b3ta user names suggest their owners look like ?
( hyperspacial puggling, Sat 26 Jun 2010, 13:32, Reply)

James 'the arsehole' Corden...
...or just James Corden giving random blowjobs. Whatever. Just make the twat more twatty.
Make it 'fat' so!
( underpont making all kinds-a-gains, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 20:55, Reply)

retro modernism (oh wait, does that actually exist)?
click on the linkage because i am too lazy to type much today.
Modern day products as advertised in the by-gone eras

www.behance.net/Gallery/ALT1977-WE-ARE-NOT-TIME-TRAVELERS/545221
(Patrice Ici Reticulating Splines, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Following this week's budget announcement we're all going to be poorer. I'm sure you've all got much better ideas for how the money could be saved so...
Colour in the lizard.

It's a lizard. And we want you to colour it in.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Every Belittle Helps
Inspired by this, what chav-friendly products ought The Nation's Favourite Supermarket to sell?

I've seen dashboard polish on sale there, but there must be better ways to wring cash out of chavs. What are they?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 14:01, Reply)

National Plughole Week
Yes, really: www.nationalplugholeweek.com/

For some reason Oxfam are involved. I think it should form the basis of a lighthearted compo.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Here's one I made earlier...
Show us how to make cool stuff with a couple of washing up bottles, toilet rolls and some sticky back plastic...

For example you could show us how to make erotic lingerie for cats, Tracey Emin Island or our own methamphetamine lab.

Idea partly inspired by alcohol and this post
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 2:43, Reply)

Giraffes
What if giraffes had to live in a human society
Draw it or i'll beat you with a stick
*threatens*
*shakes stick*
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 23:26, 10 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

/links stalwart Jimbotfu has just got married-
...however, he was silly enough to post an image of him and the missus signing the register.
How about that for an image challenge- "most tasteless photoshop raping of Jimbotfu's wedding pic"?
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Foxes
The press seem to be starting a bandwagon painting them as evil incarnate and the worst thing since whatever the last worst thing was.
Take sides and do what you can, either lully floofy fox shops or animations of the evil child eating harbingers of doom.
( HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 13:01, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Photoshop propaganda posters
Nuff said...
( alpaca muffalo bozzerella, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 17:02, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Make Britain's confectionery nightmarish
Do you like Kit Kat? What about Kat Shit instead?
Love Wine Gums? Have a bag of Swine Gums.... mmmm
( Hitler's Barber Soylent Green is high in saturated fat, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

world competative empathy championship
we suck at sports.. so lets just quit while we are not further behind and start a new form of competition that we could excel at while helping humanity.

go create the championship.. styles of contest etc. you may not win but atleast, if you play the games properly, you'll understand what it feels like.
( arrangedletters, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 12:39, Reply)

photoshop eric pickles
because he looks funny
(teasus likes tea, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:49, Reply)

Touchdown Jesus
The Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio was struck by lightning this week and their 6 Story tall jesus was burned down. If ever an image needed shopping...

(daylightisabadthing was avoiding doing something more important on, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 21:26, Reply)

The Richard Littlejohn Cloaca Blowout
Richard Littlejohn is the Daily Mail writer who somehow manages to be a right wing c**t, an egotistical arsehole and a scaremongering pisshole all at the same time, and it for this reason that the cloaca is named after him. Or at least, that's the way it should be.

Fire up photoshop and go to town on Richard Littlejohn in any way you please (e.g. comment on the world as he sees it, or how the world might be without him, or how he might look with a mouth full of urinal cakes). Richard won't mind; he's got a highly developed sense of humour... and because he lives in Florida for most for the year, he only observes Broken Britain via telescope anyway.

Bonus points will be awarded for use of the words 'cloaca' in filenames of images containing his enormous face and (advanced users only) 'richard' and/or 'littlejohn' in filenames of images featuring red hot cloacas. With enough entries hosted by enough B3tans*, Google Images will soon start returning pictures of Littlejohn in searches for 'cloaca'... and pictures of feathery mess-holes in searches for 'richard littlejohn'.

(*We have bloggers standing by and ready to share their Google juice. If you mark your picture for sharing it can be fed to Google via multiple websites in a vast leftist conspiracy one might have difficulty making up.)
( Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 15 Jun 2010, 15:02, 15 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

innuendo
use innuendo to make images that are wholesome and lovely on the surface, but with sleezy and sexually depraved themes hidden among the cuddlyness. Just like your average b3tan. not me though.
(augsav forgot about B3ta, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 7:11, Reply)