I was a saint, still am really
She used to pick on me and push me about, but id just take it in my stride.

The only times I think I got her back was i elbowed her rather hard in the car (thats the only time ive made her cry appart from last boxing day when she was such a bitch to me on my birthday and I was sad about the tsunami i was crying my eyes out, then she started getting wusssy and said of course she neevr ment to hurt me. One of the only sister connections i can think of)

Oh and i went through a biting stage when i was bout 6 with her, the only way for her to stop being mean.


Boring huh? Ill post a few of the injuries she gave ME later
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:35, Reply)

Spade in the face
My understanding of physics was a little limited. I thought it would be cool to hang a garden spade (shovel) on a rotary clothes drier, and give it a spin.

The idea was that friction would keep it on the arm of the drier and centripetal forces would make the head of the spade swing outwards like one of those fairground rides.

What actually happened was that the spade flew off the arm fairly rapidly and twatted my little brother in the face. Result.
(lardaholics anonymous, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:23, Reply)

Jindod
Why do people feel the need to cut n paste utter irrelevancies into QOTW?

One arm grows, another one shrinks,
One leg is long, it has a bent knee.
The other leg is only a foot and an ankle.
I am Wobbly Bob.
One eye is moving, the other is still.
My crotch thrusts in and out, but not because I ask it too, it's involuntary.
I look like I am losing my footing as I stagger towards her but I am not really moving.
It's more of a Wobble.
(Gomi No Sensei, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:20, Reply)

....
I smacked my sister in the groin VERY hard, to the point that she screamed quite loudly. I claimed blind igorance and said "but she doesn't have a willy".

I was quite proud, but confused as to why it hurt her.
( FinestLittleSpace, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:16, Reply)

Poor little scamp
I threw a washing basket down a flight of stairs and it landed on and broke my brothers nose
( XCDinglyGoodCakes looks like we've got ourselves a reader, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:11, Reply)

Evil B*stards
My brother and i have always fought like cat and dog, but my father and uncle take the prize for true evil doing.

When they were 6 ish, my uncle Bill took my fathers cheap tin cap gun, and held it over the hob with a pair of tongs until it was practically white hot. He then called my dad in and handed it to him, causing the gun to practically weld to his hand.

My father, being the unimaginative chap that he is, waited until he was healed up, took a length of stovewood and hit my uncle Bill across the face with it with absolutely no warning one morning at breakfast. It hit him so hard, it levelled most of his top row of teeth off at the gum line.

So, in retaliation, my uncle shot him in the neck with an air rifle. So my father, (who despite being youger, was twice his size) wrestled the rifle off him and smashed the butt in to his face until he was sparko.

They still hate each other to this day and at family events i keep expecting a fight to the death.

Length, Girth, PAH! It is all about the flavour.
(Flinglish, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:02, Reply)

it was like spartacus i tells ya!
my parents used to encourage me and my brother to fight, literally stand around us and laugh and chant while we rolled around on the floor kicking two kinds of shite out of each other! being 17 months and a couple of stone (muscle not fat *yeah right...*) heavier i always won... these fights ended when i hit him so hard it knocked him spark out.... and down the stairs but alas not a scratch!

i have since challenged my dad and broke his ribs.... meh you cant win them all!

click it!
(Four String Demon, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:00, Reply)

Where do I start ?
There were 5 of us so we did inflict quite a lot of harm onto each other.
But here are some of my favourites:
1) (not an injury as such, but did traumatized my parents): I was about 3, my younger sister was only a few months old, I climbed into her cot with a pair of scissors, cut the hair around her ear, made my way down the stairs and announced to the entire family that I had just cut her ear.
2) Playing frisbee with vynils and my younger sister, she still bears the scar on her left eyebrow to this day.
3) At the annual barbecue of our local shooting association, there was a little stream going into a lake, and before they joined there was a gate. I was sitting on the gate with a couple of my friends, my younger sister tried to walk past on the gate, I didn't wanr to let her through so she fell into the water and nearly drowned.

And after all this pain I inflicted onto her, time for some pain inflicted onto me: we were having sausage and mash for dinner and I had clearly stated that I didn't want any mash (must have been 7 at the time), one of my older sister was dishing out but took no notice of my request, so I put my hands on top of my plate but she kept pouring. I handed up with 3rd degree burns on both hands.


Sorry for the lenght.
(albator, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 11:00, Reply)

The Rebel ShowStopper
Riding high on 'Grimlock's' back was a lad of about half my size but with an unusually
kind eye and a mischievous smile that begged for penny whistles and 'uptonogoodness'.
'Grimlock' put him down and stomped over to feast on the foundmeat, she was Andy's sister
and had earned the name 'Grimlock' as she was the size of three fourteen year olds yet she was only eight years of age.
She had a forehead like a fucking battering ram and less teeth than Compo, she also smelt
of rotting cattle and was covered, head to toe in a thick coat of coarse hair.
Her rear legs matched the girth of her cumbersome neck and her one eye darted around the
room like an owl watching its oblivious prey. The thing went for me, hurling me twelve feet into the air and rearing up high on its hind legs snarling and spluttering like a broken bagpipe.
Suddenly the things eyes and mine locked. I shuffled over and and ran my elongated fingers

down its horny back and onto it's slimly thighs.
'Grimlock' Jack hammered over towards me, putting herself between me and the thing.
They glared at one another for some time, the tension building in the air like a busted
Baboon's all out ball bag balloon on a hot Sunday afternoon, seething and spitting caustic

acid in the furious sunshine.
A car backfires. All hell breaks lose and the thing and 'Grimlock' are tussling on the
ground pounding each other into bloody pulps and looking toward me with faces daubed with
human flesh and feces.
the fear gripped me no longer, I had fallen for the thing badly but 'Grimlock' was like kin of some twisted kind. I grabbed my scimitar and charged towards the bustling pit of flying arms and gnashing teeth and plunged the sword into the thing. It let out a piercing cry and tears welled up in its red bulbous eyes.

'Grimlock' stood up from the battle and watched over as the thing passed solemnly away.
'MICHAEL WAKE UP!' Michael sat straight up in bed, he had been dreaming, dreaming hard,
and the sweat was running down his tanned, buff body.
'Christ Cheryl, I was dreaming about the thing again!' Cheryl smiled and put her arm
around him, 'at least it's better than the dreams regarding the heavily drugged corpse
that was found in the outdoor pool' she reassured.
'Alwite Cheryl, no need to go on about that, it's taken years off my life!', Cheryl
Interrupted 'Your Life? Your fucking life!, what the hell was going on that night? When
they found him he had... well, what I can only describe as terrible anal injuries!' she
was visibly shaking.
Michael fished the lipstick out of her bag and stared into the vanity mirror next to the
bed.
'Chim, chimeny, chim, chimeny, chim chim, cherooo' as he sung he applied the stick to his
Puckered lips and a solitary tears streamed down his cheek making his mascara run into a
black line of shame.
'THIS IS MY DOMINION!' he screamed.
Cheryl looked terrified.
(JinDod, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 10:49, Reply)

yes! got another..
When I was younger it was a favourite pass time for me and a mate to bully his little bro. One Easter Sunday my mate and I conjured up a plan in our sick little minds to CRUCIFY said little brother. We built a scaled down wooden cross and securely tied his brother to it (we thought the conventional nails would be a tad too far!) and erected it in the back lawn.

He was there for a good hour.

Im going to hell I know it!
(pin_head, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 10:25, Reply)

Stairs bobsleigh
I'm 10 and my brother is 8.
I say, "Bet you couldn't fit in that suitcase."
He says he can and does so.
I close and lock it.
I then proceed to drop it down the steepest set of stairs in the world (that happen to be in my house).

He repaid this cruelty a few years later by throwing a sledgehammer over a tree and hitting me on the head. I bled profusely and was set on the way to becoming the mentally astute man I am today as a consequence...
(Max Harvey, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 10:20, Reply)

musical violence
One day, when my brother and I were arguing, I hit him over the head with my recorder and the recorder broke.

As far as my own children go, I shall never forget the screams that emanated from the bathroom when my youngest son discovered that the blue minty gel toothpaste wasn't in fact hair gel as he had been told by older brother.
(altobunny likes orange cats, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 10:05, Reply)

Selfish
When I was 3, and my little sister 2, i decided it would be fun to put chairs on a 6 foot bookcase and sit on them. I got up there easily enough, and took the closer easy chair to get into. When it was her turn to climb up i wouldn't move out of her way. And she fell off. And landed on her head. And nearly tore her ear off. Blood everywhere. Kind of surprised my mum who was on the phone.
(Bald Seagal, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 10:03, Reply)

Played a game
with my sister where we blindfolded one and had to find the other by their shouting (is that Marco Polo?).

I purposefully devise a route to lead my sister where she would trip over a flagstone and crack her head against a steel washing line post.

Concussion.
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 9:47, Reply)

two attempted murders
According to my mother, my sister (older by 19 months) and I were the best of friends until I was about 7. After that it was 10 years of shrieking, clawing, pummelling catfight until she left for college. Lucky for me I was bigger than her by the time I was 5.

I can't even recount the years of petty slights that led up to my two serious attempts to strangle her to death, but these were the immediate triggers:

1) When I was about 12, we were eating TV dinners. While I went to get something from the kitchen, she ate my dessert. She had to die.

2) At 18, with both of us home for the summer, she failed to thank me for washing her work uniform. This time I choked her good enough to make her turn red before I was bodily removed from the scene.

Thank goodness, I was stopped by my parents in the first case and my then-boyfriend in the second case. Big sis and I are now the best of friends, so the moral of the story is: no matter how much you hate your sibling now, it might only be because you have to live with them!
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 9:44, Reply)

yes! i can answer this one..
one of my earliest memories my sister must of been about 3, and me 4 or 5. Somehow managed to persuade her that a ride down the stairs in a washing basket would be a good idea. from what i can remember it wasnt the smoothest ride! she got about half way and was catapulted out of the basket and into the bannister face first and knocked her tooth out.

may I add this was obviously a 'baby tooth' so she had an attractive gap at the front for about the next 6 years.
(pin_head, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 9:28, Reply)

Nothing much really
other than breaking two of his teeth with a golf club, mind you the cunt got his own back a few years later, he shot me in the eye with an air rifle and I'm now slightly blind in my right eye, the cunt.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 9:26, Reply)

Eldest brother locked me in a wardrobe when i was about 6.
forgot about it and went out. half a day later, dad finds me in shock and pretty claustrophobic and scared of the dark for several years afterwards. Brother got the belt for that one, so it worked out about fair.
Brother liked wheelying his racing bike, so i undid his front wheel before he went out with his mates.
Long lasting damage from brothers is that they always flicked my ears. This has now resulted that anyone that flicks my ears now is treated to an auto response full on punch that i don't know i'm doing. This has caused embarresment and bloody noses at school, uni and at work functions.
And on introducing girlfriend(now wife) to brother for fist time, he decides to shoot me in the arse with a piece of rolled up paper via his air pistol. He thought it would be like a gatgun hit, so was surprised by the massive bruising, screaming and ensuing fight. Welcome to the family.
( Ulic hissing slightly, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 9:23, Reply)

quite a few of these
Darts, brother wouldn't get out of the way of "his" dartboard, so a lucky shot went through the skin between thumb and fingers. Not powerful enough to stick in the board as well though.
Darts again, eldest brother plays dance little brother, and sticks in big toe.
Eldest brother catches middle one wearing his tie, so dangles him over bannister by it, and comically cuts with scissors to great effect.
Walking past brother's house pissed up one freezing night, pissed all over his car leaving yellow frost all over it.
Not me, but cousin follows through one day, and hides his embossed underpants behind airing cupboard until he can safely sneak them out. His brother gets out of shower later, and puts on first pair of pants he can find...
Eldest brother in pub shows me new trick in front of all my mates involving balancing matches on matchbox. Invoves setting fire to the matches using the side of the box, and matches are now attached by sweat to my fingers.
( Ulic hissing slightly, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 9:12, Reply)

Fun with Catapults
When I was 13 my brother threw me down the stairs. In retaliation I fetched my Black Widow cataplut and a 2p and fired it at is head as ran away. With hindsight a good clean blow to the head could have killed or severely wounded him, so I imagine he's grateful I only managed to hit him in the leg.
(MrVictim, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 9:05, Reply)

I know cos I was there
A pal of mine had just taken delivery of his new, very powerful air rifle. Myself and a few mates went to his house to admire it. Now this chap had an elder brother with learning difficulties but this was the early 80s and political correctness didn't exist.

My pal said to his brother (we were in their bedroom at the time) 'Get under the quilt and tell me if this hurts!' The obliging brother did so, half an hour later we were in the Infirmary to have a lead pellet removed from the poor victims thigh.

Bloody good gun though
(ElGatodeBarco, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 8:55, Reply)

don't you just hate it when you push them
and then they almost try to hit their head on the most dangerous object around.

and then they start screaming.

and all you can do is stand there, waiting for 10s until your parents show up.

thats happened so many times its not funny



EDIT:

also:
i was verbally abusing my brother, and i must have crazed him good cause suddenly trying to gauge out my eyes and bite me and trying his hardest to hurt me. in two seconds i grab his, arm, pull it behind his back, force him to the ground, and hold him down, kneeling on his back, him still trying to shred me (unsuccesfully). elders come in and i get into trouble for being mean and hurting him (only the former of which was legitimate). he gets nothing and i get sent to my room.

not so much injury except my pride
(riedacher_bertram, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 8:53, Reply)

My mother
My mother sewed a couple of her twin sister's fingers together once. Using a sewing machine.

Apparently they were fighting over who got to use it and my mother said "OK, you use it then" and then b-w-w-w-w-w-mpt the deed was done.
( Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 8:36, Reply)

i've never been a cruel sibling. But....
I did once hit my brother over the back of the head with a pillow. He fell forward, caught his top gum on the edge of the bed and bled like a farmer hand-cleaning a combine harvester.

And I told my brother that putting his fingers into the light socket (we had reading lights above our beds) would not hurt. He was stopped from doing it by the more interesting sight of my dad steaming into the room, dragging me off the top bunk and physically educating me on the dangers of electricity.

And the same (well, I actually only have one)brother ended a scrap by falling backwards against the stone hearth of the lounge fireplace, cutting his head open and raising mum's volume levels to '11'. I'm sure he did it on purpose.

I never dared do much to my sister due to her behavioural problems and long finger nails...
(downhill without brakes . It was the worst day of my life, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 8:22, Reply)

Siblings
Well, technically I got two older and one younger siblings, but we never tormented each other as they were all miscarried as fetuses ^_^
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 8:19, Reply)

Evil Brothers.
My brothers generally always used to fight with each other, me as the cheering spectator, after they finally put each other in hospital one Christmas, they decided to turn their attention on me. Being a gullible 6 year old, I do whatever they say to impress them...jump off the chair as far as you can they say. So I did...proceeded to slide across the floor and straight into a chair arm, cue lot of blood pouring out of my left eye brow and mother not being impressed. About a year later, brothers find new 'fun' game. Catch...with little sister. It was really good fun, that is until I went into the same chair arm, again, cue lots of pissing blood from left eye lid and mother being *rather* annoyed with both brothers. Me? Well I just used to bite, it was the only effective thing. I would get great pleasure in seeing the bloody teeth prints on their arms/legs/face...
Now my brothers are in their 30's and it still goes on...
(wormeater, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 7:46, Reply)

Me and my sister...
We had one of those big beach umbrellas. So we went out on to the roof, and thinking we could land safley off our house (Like Mary cunting Poppins) I jumped off and landed pretty fine actually. Then seeing I did it fine, I gave it off to Sis. The Jumped and the umbrella flew out of her hand due to a wind, and she landed on a fence. 12 stiches on her hand, they even considered amputating her thumb!
(Human, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 7:34, Reply)

Sugar and Darts
My younger brother has always had a very sweet tooth. When we were about 10 and 6 respectively I pretended that I was being nice by getting the sugar bowl down from a high shelf for him to tuck into when in fact I had replaced said sugar with salt. My brother took the biggest spoonful he could manage............

Also, not a sibling, but my cousin and I were once playing darts in the back yard on a hot summer day. For some unknown reason I took to running under the dart board, bent over, whilst he took his turn. Inevitably one of his darts rebounded off the board and landed right in my unclad back a couple of cms from my spine and a good cm deep. Ouch.

Insert length gag here, yuk yuk.
(You'll never take me alive copper, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 7:31, Reply)

abuse, cricket and beer.
and i just remembered. was at a cricket match, NZ vs England one dayer long long number of years a go.
there was this wanker in front of us always standing up and yelling absue at random people. being drunk, i thought it was rather amusing. until he started directing insults at me.
so i threw a full can of beer at him not expecting to smack him square in the head. cue me then seconds later getting same can back right in my head. hurt like fu*k, plus the beer sprayed everywhere when i opened it.
oh, and the guy telling absue? my brother.
(fushundchups taste better with vinegar, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 7:18, Reply)

payback's a bitch
for the life of me i cannot recall why i did it, but who needs a reason when you're 8.

left in car on a stinking hot day while mum was in the pub, i mean shopping. little sister must have been annoying me because she ended up with a perfect imprint of the end of a car cigarette lighter on her thigh.

she got me back the next year. we were on holiday and there was this sort of cesspool covered in bright green weeds. naturally i told he not to step on it and while trying to find a stone to throw in to prove it was water, she promptly sunk to the bottom. had to fish her out.
the bollocking from dad later about "pushing her in" left me stunned and with a sore arse.
(fushundchups taste better with vinegar, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 7:14, Reply)