Corpses & Twunt Ghosts
A friend of mine was walking home one night, after heavy thunder storm.
She was talking the shortcut that we all did, through the old Church grounds.
There was a lot of creaking and groaning as she was passing the church when the ground literally opened up, spilling a rotten corpse in her direction.
Lightning had hit a tree a little before she got there and started it to fall.
It's roots had lifted the coffin from it's previously happy home just in time for her to fill her pants.

On a later occasion, I was walking the same route when I got twatted firmly on the bridge of the nose.
It felt like a 4x2 - it stung like hell.
I fell to my arse and took stock of the situation.
There was NOTHING nearby that could have possibly hit me - no branches, no twunt with a bat, no limping flying beast, nothing.

I stopped walking that route after that.
( BubaMan 3 conspiracy nuts walk into a bar... Coincidence?, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:57, Reply)

A quick tip
When you find youself in charge of a fog machine for the weekend, don't use it to 'set the mood' while watching The Exorcist.

Just don't.

Seriously.
( Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:47, Reply)

Weird ouija
When I was a teenager, me and my friends played with a ouija all through one summer.
The most memorable thing about it was when we asked the 'spirit' what colour my knickers were, they got the colour exactly right!
And it knew my Grandmother's maiden name - of whom I have no memory.
(thundermonkey, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:44, Reply)

Ouija boards
Me and some friends made use of a home-made ouija board trying to contact some people. We seemed to get through to one of the participants younger sister, who had died a year or two previously. We were trying the old 'questions that only we would know the answer to' business, and it felt fairly genuine. the room was quite cold and I don't think any of the others were moving that glass.

I dunno if they were, but it's fun to believe that we're not gonna be completely bored when we die.

Also I got a nosebleed after watching the ring. No shittings, just a gentle trickle, fairly reminiscent of the film. The only reason I wasn't shitting bricks was because I get frequent nosebleeds.

We need a question about crazy theories! It'd be great!!!
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:34, Reply)

apparition

You know how people see the face of Jesus in tortillas etc?

I used to think that was bollocks, until I saw the face of a god in a pie I was eating.

It was soon after I started worshipping stewed apples in fact.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:33, Reply)

It was terrible!
My dad got a job as caretaker at this old hotel up in the mountains, and so him, me and my mum had to move up there for a while, it was huge! One of those kinda places where the halls seem to stretch forever. I was quite apprehensive about he whole thing though, cos my wagging finger said that there was something really bad about the place. Then we met this black guy who started thinking ice creamy thoughts at me!! He says I've got this thing called 'the shining'...I think he's coming on to me...but my finger knows that he's scared of something in room 273...

Later on I was just riding my tricycle around the corridors...no-one around, we can do what we want right? Wrong!! These 2 little jailbaters come up to me and tell me to play with them! Of course I'm not gonna fucking touch them, 1 - my parents would spaz and 2 - THEY'RE NOT REAL!! I'm starting to get really nervous about this place, and I think it's getting to my dad. He's a writer, and a shit one at that, all he ever writes about these days is how he's having to work loads, but can't go out and play, and this makes him bored. I think this place has got ghosts or something in it. Then my dad really started freaking out and hit me! My mum knocked him out a locked him in a fridge.

Long story short my dad tried to kill us, I had to summon the pervy guy who introduced us, but what does he do? Gets axed by my dad...he was a total knobcheese anyway. There was somethign about some red rum, a river of blood and then I had to sneak away from my dad in some hedge maze...he was an abusive bastard anyway...he's probably dead.

I did a ouija-board seance later on (using a shotglass) to try and contact him, but if the music's playing it means they've run out of spirits, so that went nowhere.

Yours, D Torrance
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:26, Reply)

more Ouija fun
About 2 years ago my mum had one of her mates round who was into tarot cards and all that lark, and suggested doing a Ouija board. There were about 5 of us there so we all decided to give it a go.

After about 10 minutes of arsing about and not taking it seriously, my mums mate took off in a huff and we just got on with it. Hour or so later my mum starts suddenly feeling ill saying she's sick and feels like she has someone trying to cut their way out of her stomach.... ok pretty scary. We phoned her crazy pal and asked for advice and she said to take the glass we'd used for the Ouija and break it to free the spirit or something. We ran upstairs, chucked it into the road and then went out front to have a look. The glass was sat right there in the road, unbroken with her upstairs still chucking up.

We eventually smashed the glass, and a few minutes later she was fine. An elaborate wind up? It scared the hell out of me!
( McBadger COW, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:24, Reply)

Oooh Spooky...
Stayed over at friends house - woke in the middle of the night to find people standing over me, and the overwhelming feeling that her two large dogs were just sitting outside the door. Waiting.
I couldn't move, or open my eyes.
Nearly shat myself in fear.
Fell asleep again - next morning told my friend who mentioned that she also regularly had the same feelings.
They eventually called in a specialist (Environmental health, not an exorcist, what, do you think they are? Stupid?) Turned out that the land the (newish)house was built on was contaminated, and leaking toxic-ish gases through the floor. This has effectively devalued their house to almost nothing.

So now her parents are paying a mortgage for a worthless and dangerous property. Now that *is* scary. (just not very funny)

oh.
*pop*
(zathrag, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:15, Reply)

I had the misfortune of living with a psychopath
My saga started in October last year, when a 30 stone sexual deviant monster moved into my house. We shall call her Fatto, for I have repressed her real name. This was a real person, I should point out. The ghost hasn't come into play yet.

Upon moving in, Fatto immediately announced that the house was haunted. We live in an old Victorian house, so I suppose that's plausible. Certainly, we got weird draughts and creaks once in a while. Fatto was gifted with psychic powers, apparently, and informed us our ghost was called Arthur. He had never caused us any trouble at all, but I suppose he must have taken against Fatto, as once she'd moved in he:
-Smeared shit everywhere (human and otherwise).
-Stole money from my purse.
-Broke my housemate's laptop.
-Sent us death threats from Fatto's mobile.
-Put a poo in the microwave.

Bloody poltergeists, eh?

As an epilogue, it turned out Fatto was on bail for arson and one day disappeared from our house taking all her belongings (and rather a lot of money). And from that day, Arthur has been calm again...
( Queen of Cheesecake, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:08, Reply)

Little white bull . . .
As a goth when I was much younger, myself and my gothic chums dabbled in the black arts and we once contacted Tommy Steele on a ouija board.
Despite him not being dead . . .
(garrison, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 15:07, Reply)

The Ring
I went to see The Ring at the cinema; it was all right, nothing too scary I thought as I left the cinema. Got home, no one in, to the bat bed I think! Flick on light *PING* bloody bulb blows, so I get a new one from down stairs, stand there in the dark to change it as I am too lazy to find a torch or anything, take out old one, put in new one GAAAAAAAAA I'm blind!!! It seems I left the damn switch on. Tried to get to sleep but where whether my eyes were open or shut, all I could see was a bright white ring…

Luckily however I did not have a TV in the room so I was not slaughtered in the night - Yay!

This is as close to the dark side as I get.
(Narfax, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 14:56, Reply)

missing door!
I had to go fix a forklift in a store basement once, and none of the staff would go into the room, they the girls said it was evil! ''Yeh right, do you want your bloody truck fixed!''

Apparently someone had died down there years ago and all the staff said the lights kept going off (oh no an old shop where the lights turned off must be a ghost!)

Any way after fixing the problem, there was only one door in and out, and it wasn't a large room. I couldnt find the door for about 20 mins. Could it be the ghost sealed the room? Could it be I had Hydraulic oil in my eyes and couldn't find the door?

I've seen millions of UFO's for you see I've seen something flying in the sky and not been quite sure what it was! Unidentified Flying Object!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not Alien space ship!
(ruud316, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 14:51, Reply)

a good ol' prank...
I used to be in the boy scouts movement back in my school days. on one particular camp we had to behave as older "peers" to these younger cub scouts.

One of my fellow scout members had brought along a portable stereo (the type with detachable speakers) and some sound effect CD's (one of 'em was spooky noises).

Late one night after the little guys had gone to bed a few of us decided to sneak over to their seperate campsite (a few hundred metres away). seperated the speakers and spread them apart to each side of the tent for maximum effect and played a small selection of spooky noises (for about 15mins or so).

The next morning the kids looked a little paranoid (obviously the prank was effective) although an initial head count showed that one little boy was missing.

After a bit of searching we found him asleep under the back seat of the mini-bus that they had arrived in.
(Mad_Nashy WHEEEEEE!, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 14:47, Reply)

I did a spell once...
it required dragon's blood, which isn't that easy to find in London. So I used tomato ketchup instead. The spell involved filling a pillowcase with the incredients, including pepper and lavender. It was supposed to stop nightmares, but instead, I ended up dreaming about nightmarishly large chips all night. And I woke up with an earful of tomato ketchup. Nice.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 14:44, Reply)

unlawful odour
You don't need to measure something to prove it is there. But you do need to apply logic...

You can't make the leap from seeing figures at the end of your bed to assuming it's a ghost.

Belief in ghosts - fine.
Proof of ghosts - sorry, but not at the present.
(breakfastwithjam, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 14:28, Reply)

Cigar butts
I don't believe in ghosts or have ever experianced any strange occurances except once. I used to work in a shoe shop that was in a fairly old building. When I started there was a rumour going around that the stock room down stairs was haunted. Now I'm not sure many of us actually believed this but it was pretty scary nonetheless, especially as you had to go practically all the way to the bottom of the stairs before you got to the light switch, so we decided to name the supposed ghost Federick.
We used to say morning and good night to him everyday.

One evening we were all in the staff room after work having a drink as it was someones leaving do. now you weren't allowed to smoke in the staff room but it had been decided on this one occasion that the only smoker could have one or two since the boss wasn't there. He was given a mug that someone had been drinking wine out of about 5 minutes previously (classy I know, don't even get me started on the assistant manager drinking wine out of a baby cup!. Anyway the point was the mug was definately empty when he got it, he had 2 cigarettes before we left and he was the only one smoking.

The next morning I got in to work to find the assistant manager on her hands and knees picking up cigarette butts and, even more bizarrely, cigar butts from the floor and there was more in the sink. Now unless we really did have a ghost who liked the odd cigar now and again we have absolutely no explaination for where they came from!

Maybe Freddy just wanted to join in the fun!
(Delilah Papillon, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 14:15, Reply)

i bored at work so thats why i'm posting so many stories!
At uni my mates went to see The Tony Blair Witch Project. (I didn't go as I was pooning some tart) They came home being very scared and gay! (not touching each other, just going on about ghosties) One of my mates was actually scared of going to bed.

Hense the pranks!

Firstly we did the old fuse box thing in the middle of the night. we switched it off then I put my hand into his room and turned his light on, so we could then flick the trip switch on and off to make his light come on and off. He appeared in the hall asking ''Is that you guys fucking about?'' No reply from the cupboard we were hiding in.

Then the next night I tied a piece of cotten to his chair leg, and pulled it when he was asleep, we heard a scream like a girl from his room.

This prompoted him to ask if he could stay in my room and I'll have his, so we swapped and I had a bigger room! Remember this kids, you can get the bigger room in your uni house.

The final act was when we were pissed and he was fast asleep, to sneak into his new room wearing black robes (dressing gowns with hoods) and candals and 4 of use stood round his bed chanting, he woke up and screamed like a Goatsie victim!

Class!

I dont beleave in ghosts it's all in the mind, I've often seen spooky things like a towel hanging in the dark thats being blown by the wind and thought fuck me a ghoooosty! Then walked up to it, no it's a towel in a vage human form in the dark, blowing in the wind.

If you do see a ghos,t run and have a closer look to see if it really is? Whats it goin to do to you if it is one! Boo! ARRRRRRGH!

and anyone who thinks I wasn't dreaming! You were it's very possible to have very real dreams, dont eat chedder before you go to bed. Oh and a shit load of cider dose ne help either!
(ruud316, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:55, Reply)

well, you see
now. fair play, in my family i have either a) a fair share of nutters or b) generations of witchs, occultsist and genreral spiritually experienced types.

but... i believe.

i'm not an idiot, nor wanting to believe, nor madder than normal. i just do because i have experienced enough and read enough to disprove any of the fear-caused or unempathic attitudes of the sceptical community. honestly? i wish i could dismiss it as silliness. i can't.

i love the fact that people can dismiss thousands of years of learning by relying on scientific knowledge. if you measure it; it stops. they stop.

not because it isn't real. because it/they choose to.

i suggest any disbelievers look into shamanism. a set of techniques, not silly teenagers.

mitakuye oyasin
(all beings are connected)
(unlawful odour i dunno..., Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:52, Reply)

Well not much of a dark side...
I'd have thought I'd have something really good to post here since I work night shifts in a hospital (and have even had occasion to visit our mortuary at ridiculous times of the late night/early morning variety). Tragically not even a B grade short - our resident ghosts seem to be nurses that get patients glasses of water...or tell them to get up and have a shower to be ready for the day (at four in the morning - and begs the question, what on EARTH do you need to do in hospital aside from lie around getting better with the occsaional procedure or physiotherapy session thrown in? None of those start before 10am....everyone's having a coffee before then..).
First post damn splinter.
(lateonenite, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:50, Reply)

I wasn`t scared (honest)
When I lived in a shared house at art college my housemate invited one of his mates over for dinner. Anyway the bloke was a proper fruitloop, he was on the metals course and his final project involved making himself a full suit of chainmail armour and a sword. Plus he was "psychic".
Whilst he was round at ours he picked up the spirit of a dead girl who had been murdered in the house. He did the whole rolling eyes and speaking in tongues routine and everything, he was very good.
By the time we got him to go away the two girls in the house were so scared that they demanded we all sleep in one room. One of them was so scared she sucked me off.
(Lowlife, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:46, Reply)

On a lighter (and shorter) note
When I was little I had a Hallow'een party. It was great, we were only 11-12 so got to do proper kid things, like dressing up and non-ironically bobbing for apples. (Now they bob for rocks of crack I expect)

Anyway, one of my friends dad's was a vicar. He had to pray for guidance to see if she was allowed to come, due to potential Satanic overtones. For Gods sake.

Lovely family though. He also had to pray to see if she could have a hamster

And if anyone has seen this story on Law of the Playground- I haven't nicked it, I put it there.
(clapper, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:44, Reply)

well...
I consider myself a sceptic, but happily believe the evidence of my own experiences. I've had the usual semi-wierd experiences that are common to most people- strange cold areas in rooms, slightly inexplicable but not actually that interesting happenings, the odd future dream as a child. Some people accept then as wierd shit, some find slightly more logical explanations.

This one sticks in my mind though as a particularly unpleasant night.

I used to regularly stay at my friends house in Brighton whilst working in London. One particular night they went off to bed as usual and I bedded down in their front room. I felt very awake and couldn't get to sleep. Grudaully (and apologies for the 3rd-rate horror story language here) a feeling of unease started to come over me- has anyone else ever had that 'terror in the woods for no apparent reason' feeling? I became more and more scared. Then disorientated. I felt like the bed I was lying on was going up and down,in waves, as if in a boat- like by about a foot. I could feel my feet raising this distance off the bed. I'd turn the light on- it's stop. I turned the light off- it'd start. Very un-nerving. When I turned the light on my attention was drawn to a particular corner of the room- which I wanted to stare at to keep an eye on it, but also not look at at all for fear of what I might see. I turned the light off, gave myself a stern talking to for being such a pussy. And tried to go to sleep. Didn't work. I looked over towards the kitchen door, and saw (again, apologies for unbelievableness) an arm waving at me from the door frame! A really cheeky- i-know-I'm-freaking-you-out wave! At this point the light went on and stayed firmly on until dawn. Of course I was far too British to even consider waking up my friends for comfort/mockery.

They confirmed their perception of a presence, particularly in the corner I described the next day (they'd not spoken of it before). They found him completely benign, and he's moved from their bedroom. He did freak out one of the cats though the other was OK. Said friends are no strangers to both the real and the bollocks of the occult, and I would trust them (though I don't expect you to). I did a sanity check for influence of spooky stories, alchol (a glass of wine), drugs (none apart from fags and a small cup of coffee), wierd food, etc. All negative. And no, I was not asleep.

The worst thing about this is that although it was to me almost unique in genuine terrifying-ness, it's unbelievably sad and crap! I am quite embarrassed by it. A waving, ethereal, Mr Tickle-esque arm coming out of a kitchen door in Brighton just for me? Get to fuck!
(clapper, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:38, Reply)

Ooh, spooky etc.
I actually have quite a few stories I could post on here, but, being fairly skeptical/cynical myself, I don't want to appear like a complete arse, so I'll just tell this one.

Back in the early 90's my parents moved from London to a rural area. They often asked me to look after their house while for them whilst they were on holiday etc.

It was a fairly big, echoey place, overlooked by thickly wooded hills, that themselves are full of old legends about dark deeds and the like.

Mostly, though, I enjoyed having a place to myself for a couple of weeks to use as a base for all kind of late teens/early 20's misbehavoir.

Anyway, during one week-long house sitting, I bought a friend up with me. He isn't much of a drinker so instead of going to the local pubs and making hushed 'Deliverance' jokes whilst looking at the locals, we stayed in most nights.

One night, in a fit of sobriety, we decided to dim the lights and play cards. It was fairly late and the weather outside was the definition of 'pathetic fallacy', Cold, windy, howly, thundery, lighningy and all the other appropriately spooky things.

This lead to us telling ghost stories as we played Rummy. (Two twenty year old, single chaps staying in playing rummy? Could go some way to explaining the sexual famine I experienced for most of my youth.)

These stories became the inevitable kinda one-upmanship thing, y'know, "Oh, you think that's scary? Well, listen to this one!" Even though we're both quite big, logical chaps, this did have the effect of slightly unnerving both of us.

One of us mentioned how the ace of spades had apparently started of as a tarot card for death or misfortune. We started asking the cards questions.

As in: "Will girlX say yes if I ask her out?"

We would then both take a card from the pack. Ace being high, two being low, the person asking the question wanting the highest, therefore getting a positive awnser.

This went on for some time, concurrent with the 'Ace of Spades is eeeeeevil' conversation.

Eventually, for self amusement, I got my friend to shuffle the deck, put 'em down in front of me, then said:

"If Satan is in the room, it will be the Ace of Spades." I say, picking a random card.

Well, shave my legs, and call me Julie...

It was the Ace of Spades.

Ha ha ha, etc. Being rational types, we said it was a 1 in 52 chance, so we shuffled, and went again.

"If Satan is here, watching us right now, it will be the Ace Of Spades..."

Shitknobs. You guessed it. It was.

I got my friend to shuffle again, watching him closer than you would Gary Glitter in Toys 'R' Us. My chum is a guy who, for a living, prods cables into things whilst eating pasties. If he had developed some kind of David Blaine-esque card sharkery skills it would have suprised me hugely.

Cards shuffled, we went again. His turn.

"If Satan wants my soul, it will be the Ace of Spades."

It wasn't.

Cards shuffled.

I ask the same question...

It was.

Arse.

Cards shuffled, I go again.

Three more times. Each time with a fresh shuffle. Each time the Ace of Spades.

Buttered Feck! I'm doomed!

I mentally kept flashing to that rather scary scene in the first 'Evil Dead' where the woman reads aloud the cards the other girl is holding before turning into one of the demons. This was enough, I broke the mood and turned up the lights, actually more shaken than I would admit.

many years later, 3 weeks ago, in fact. Mrs Spicious and I go to our local pub, we see that their latest product promotion is free packs of cards left in ashtrays for people to play with. A picture of the booze available printed on each card. Nifty, I think, and we start playing a few games of Rummy. (Hey, at least being naked in her company is fun). After a few rounds, I mention the above story...

Sure enough, it happens again. Only twice in a row this time though. Hopefully, the older and flabbier I get, the less appealing I am to the dark one.

Well, there ya go. I know the above can probably all be explained by some kind of psychological 'hot carding' or something, but it is a little troubling at the time. And also makes me wonder if anything good I do is worthwhile if the end result is the same. Oh well, I might go out and punch someone for no reason.

Length? Girth? Let's hope you can take it with you, eh?
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:36, Reply)

Ghosts in the circuit box...
My mates at Uni have the ridiculous good luck to live with a selection of the finest girls from the netball team. Not only is this great for idle evenings when there's nothing to watch on TV, but the girls are also notoriously gullible, and very easily scared.

Cue a selection of ghostly pranks, each more stupid than the last.
The best one however, was when one of my mates gathered the ladies up, and told them to come upstairs became Liam had something to show them. Liam's door is closed, so they assume he's waiting inside with something fantastic to show them. Suddenly, all the lights go out. Cue much faffing about and explanations that none of the boys know where the fuse box is. So the girls grab a torch and head down to the cellar to switch the lights back on.
And, you guessed it, just as they open the cupboard the fuse box is is, out jumps Liam, dressed entirely in white haz-mat overalls with a blank white face mask on, screaming at the top of his lungs.
Classic.
I think there was actual urination.
(what_bus, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:21, Reply)

Leap
Don't you just love the way people see a figure/person, hear a noise/speech, see things move inexplicably, feel a presence, etc....

... and then says it's a ghost.

How do you get from "something inexplicable has happened" to "it's the spirit of someone who died".

I'm not saying your wrong - you could be right but there's not enough evidence in any of these stories to make this leap of logic.

It could be ghosts, aliens, God, a stray cat or some other natural/supernatural phenomena we are not aware of.


PS: This also applies to stories about aliens.
(breakfastwithjam, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:19, Reply)

Haunted honeymoon
I once stayed in a hotel that was haunted by a notorious "Gay Ghost"

I spent the entire weekend stopping it giving me the willies.
(barronshark, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:18, Reply)

Moving Objects
Stuff in my house is always inexplicably moving around.

I keep finding my keys in the fridge, mobile phone in the cupboard, all kinds of crazy stuff... then again I do get stoned quite often.
(Minty Hit, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:16, Reply)

The Coven
My mate Ted came to live in London in 1991 to work for a computer magazine and rented a room from one of his sisters friends. This person turned out to be a bit of freaked out new age feminist - all wild-eyed, mad hair and fabric - accompanied with wailing, incense burning and 70's TOTP makeup until ungodly hours in the morning. Her friends were even stranger and through living there got caught up in their strange anarchist vegan schemes and especially the notion of starting a coven and harnessing their power / nature and making their will be done (Kangaroo shite!).

Including the landlady and her friends there were 12 of them - Ted made 13 - the right number for a Coven. One of them had a book of DIY witch-craft which they were trying to follow to the letter but deliberately missed out anything they had "issues" with. Ted got caught up with nightly candle and incense burning, wailing, chanting and stopping to read out loud what to do next from the instruction manual.

After the initial week of feeling obliged to join in with the landlady's and family friend's scheme - he told the group that he was leaving.

"Oh no! You can't leave now! We're going to perform a sacrifice tonight - you know, to invoke a great power to heal and cleanse us with a greater spell. You have to be here.".

Ted went to the pub after work and turned up back at his digs late for the coven, walked into the candle light in the kitchen in the middle of the ceremony, just as the sacrificial blade gleaming in the candle light and the witches intention pierced the skin of their sacrifice causing wailing and wincing from the coven and blood red drip, just as Ted witnessed the fruit knife feebly plunge into the blood orange.

This was as close to a chicken as the Vegans could bring themselves - and apparently some of them even looked horrified as the orange was pierced. Ted pissed, pissed himself laughing, doubled over and went apaplexic. He was asked to move out.
(Catchag "You know!....For Kids!", Fri 21 Apr 2006, 13:02, Reply)

Lord Christopia
Your abandonned mental asylum reminds me of my own (I seriously think there are more around than people suppose, could scooby doo really be a gritty documentary covered in a deceptive saccarine animated coating?)

I had just met my (now) boyfriend - we'd met a couple of times and had gone out on a date, so a few days later he rings me:

"Hey Hampster, um, ah, are you going to the meeting tonight...?"
"No, I'm going to an abandonned mental asylum. Want to come?"

Who in their right mind would refuse a second date at an abandonned mental asylum, go on, who? So, as it gets dark, we gather at my mate's house dressed in black with blue LED torches. Behind my mate's house is a wood. Beyond the wood are some fields. Beyond the fields lies the asylum.

In single file we follow the narrow woodland path through the wood, quickly traipse across the fields and then get to the edge of the asylum.

SUDDENLY a light turns on!

Ok, it was the motion sensors from a row of houses next to the path...houses? Crap!

We all dived into the ditch by the side of the path and carried on until we got to the long low buildings of the former childrens' ward. The door had been forced open, in we went. It was totally empty, debris was starting to collect in the corridors, and ont he walls of the wards were sadly painted rainbows and things that had obviously been originally intended to brighten the place up. We all huddled closer, a bit spooked, when suddenly, it appeared...

A padded cell...a kids padded cell

What is the logical thing to do when faced with a padded cell?

Cue seven teenagers cramming into the padded cell and vigorously banging their heads against the walls. Hurrendous and bloodcurlding cries of "Ow, hey, they're not really that soft after all!" and "Has anyone got any asprin?" were heard. We filed out.

That was one of many trips - one time we slept in a padded play pen overnight and had an impromptu barbeque beforehand. If there were amy ghosties there, they were probably busy being mental somewhere else. Bloody creepy place though.
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 12:52, Reply)

Crying = eye loss
Laura Spooner lost an eye a few days after we did a seance. In the seance she started crying for no reason because nothing was happening, the tool. Does that count?

Never run with scissors, kids*.

*No really, it's her fault why ALL parents warn you of the danger.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 21 Apr 2006, 12:40, Reply)