Oo! Oo! Another 'Not Connected'
Hey Sam! I saw Steve Pemberton (Tubbs, from the League Of Gentlemens 'Local Shop') wandering around Malaga airport with his two extremely noisy kids. He gave me a dirty look when I said: "What's all this noise? We'll have no shouting here!"
(SproutsAreEvil, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 17:35, Reply)

Not connected but.....
It appears our friend has a habit of stuff involving small children!

And I once smacked my brother over the head on a news article with Gaby Roslin in the foreground!
(psychomonkey padded cell and drugged bananas, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 17:23, Reply)

Bandwagon Jumping (Entirely justified if you ask me!)
I was once on the Evening News... in one of those composite 'have you seen this guy' pictures, after helping to beat the shit out of some paedo scum. Ps. Does anyone know where 'lifelikeandposeable' lives?

.
(SproutsAreEvil, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 17:17, Reply)

.
My House Was in the Leauge of Gentlemen Christmas special..... does a house count?
( Sam, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 17:03, Reply)

public urination
A few years ago a buddy of mine was closing up shop at a chain music store in the university area of Edmonton, Canada. He went out back to the alley for a whiz, and unbeknownst to him a TV news crew filmed him.

A few days later the main TV channel had a special report on urban degradation in the downtown core, and they used my buddy pissing as the posterchild. He wasn't even downtown!
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 16:48, Reply)

Local news
Many years ago, I was inadvertently in the background of a Look East broadcast from the Norfolk Show.
I appeared about every 10 seconds behind the presenter, gripping a merry-go-round horse, trying desperately not to fall off, with a face like grim death - all teeth and hair.

Apparently the article was about the dangers of travelling fairground rides. My mum certainly played the tape to everybody she knew for a good year afterwards, cackling like a banshee at the irony.
(sags tupac-a-hats, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 16:21, Reply)

And that's why Jamie Theakston's a cunt....
A few years back, as most people will no doubt remember, Jamie Theakston used to do The Priory with Zoe Ball. He used to do a spoof of Jim'll Fix It called Jamie Will Make The Necessary Arrangements, and he used this opportunity to twat about in a large chair, and allow the nation to hate him. Then he'd give an email address where people could email in with stuff they wanted Jamie to make possible.

One particular episode, he'd brought a toy along - a button which played Tim Westwood quotes (Westwood being that week's guest). Cue much twatting about, "drop the bomb" repetition and laughing at his own 'wit'. I thought I'd email the fucker even tho I was just 15 and ask if he could make the necessary arrangements for me to boot him up the arse.

And guess what? Even tho it was a joke, the producers at Ginger loved it, and emailed me back, telling me they wanted to film me booting him up the arse. I went round the whole of school telling everyone I was going down to London that night to be on The Priory - I was the man. Then I got a phone call from the guy at Ginger - and I quote - Jamie didn't want to look like a twat on TV. I pointed out he already did, and the fellah agreed with me but said sorry, I'm not going to be on TV after all.

I emailed in every week after that, repeatedly telling Jamie I wanted to boot him up the arse, but they never replied. And if it ever comes back on the air, I'll keep emailing in. That'll show the cunt. Even his production team hated him.

Sorry for length!
(Hammer Time, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 15:30, Reply)

Trish...
two of my mates were in the audience on trisha, one even asked a question. I would have been there but when they asked if I wanted to go I thought they were pissing about.
( Paper Tiger, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 15:11, Reply)

not me, but the closest i'll get
my flatmates got to go and be extras on The Book Group in our first year at uni. all well and good, walk back and forth in 'pub', drink cold tea, thanks for my hundred quid. after several hours, vic was told she couldn't be in it cos her waterproof-style material trousers were too loud, she didn't even get paid. my other flat mate did though, and we spent it all on cakes and cider. oh yeah.
(symmetrycat, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 14:40, Reply)

Pathetic, frankly
Many years ago an episode of Antiques Roadshow was filmed near my school. A friend of mine wandered into shot behind Hugh Scully then mugged furiously at the camera until I also walked in, picked her up and carried her off. Amazingly this was aired.

Was also interviewed for local news "and finally" type item on men spending money on hair cuts (nothing much happens in the anglia region). For some reason when a mic is thrust at me I lose 90% of brain function, and talk rubbish. I may even have dribbled a bit. Luckily one of my 'friends' was kind enough to record the event and email the mpeg to just about everyone I know.
(Throbbe, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 14:11, Reply)

Tony Robinson's perky persona destroyed before my living eyes
I used to watch Time Team. Not because I particularly liked it, but because my dad enjoyed it and it provided an opportunity for a bit of father/daughter bonding (the good kind).

So imagine my delight when, while working at the Maritime Museum in Greenwich, the Time Team crew turn up and start digging up the lawn outside my office.

I got to meet all the principle characters. That bloke with the beard? Very nice and sagely. The cornish bloke with the hat? Always there with a joke, a smile and dirt under his huge swarthy fingernails. That Tony Robinson? A complete and utter wanker. ::gasp from audience::

He used to turn up 2 minutes before filming began, scowling at anybody who dared look at him. He'd stalk over to 'the trench' and once the camera crew called 'Action' he'd suddenly light up into that bubbly little dwarf that we all love. After 5 minutes of looking sincere and implying that he'd been helping all day he'd drop back into a scowl again, walk away and get back into his landrover, not to be seen until the next filming sequence.

My gilfriend came over one day and I spent 5 minutes telling the above story, and more. It was only after a rather loud "harummphh!" that I realise that I've been learning against Baldricks landrover while he sat in there, scowling and trying to read his paper, but listening to every word that I'd said. We scarpered, lest his full wrath become apparant.

Oh, and to make this post relevant, I was probably in the background of that episode of Time Team. Look for an awkward ginger girl, tripping over things and gawking.

I never got to watch it with my dad either...
(bondgrrl, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 13:50, Reply)

I'm not usually one to deny a person the right of free speech
but I do feel the urge to join the proverbial bandwagon as I too believe that lifelike is a complete cock. Not a half cock. No no. A complete one.

I'm guessing he already knows that though.

It's just a shame he can't think of anything to write that is actually witty...

To be honest I really don't know why I'm wasting my lunch hour getting irate at someone who obviously believes that people actually give a fuck about him and his sad little life. Ah bless.
(lost_monkey, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 13:49, Reply)

Casualty
Lots of scenes were filmed outside my old flat in Bristol. I once walked into scene. Realising where I was, I announced 'shit' very loudly. I probably would have been on TV if I had kept quiet and carried on walking.
(Fuzzy Mornings, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 13:27, Reply)

Welshness
I was in a crowd in a club in Human Traffic. Saw the back of my head too.
(farehamer, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 12:16, Reply)

I was in a brochure for Tonka toys,
aged 5.

Obviously that was before lifelikeandposeable tried to gang-rape me.
( isthisyou?, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 12:09, Reply)

School for Seduction
A friend and I managed to get ourselves on the set of the forthcoming BritFlick 'School for Seduction'. We were wooed with the opportunity to meet Kelly Brook and Tim Healey but ended up in a scene in a Supermarket looking like a pair of gay shoppers. My mate Larry is in the immediate background and I am the blur with the cream pullover behind in this promotional preview shot. At least we know we're in the film....
www.thezreview.co.uk/news3/schoolforseduction06.htm
( peregrinefark, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 12:09, Reply)

obviously something unimportant...
When I was about 5 years old my street was surrounded with filming crew and directors etc. They were filming for some action TV show or something along those lines, anyway eventually this chap drove past in a white van and gave me the thumbs up.

I'd never felt so famous before.

I wish I actually knew what I was starring in.

OH! Now I remember I was also on Boot Sale Challenge once! I tried to look cool by standing against a car and counting money. Oh those were the days.
( Flowers the little boy that santa claus forgot, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 11:23, Reply)

fucking weirdo
i just read some of the other stuff that lifelikeandposeable has written. what a twat. I feel sick though because I accidentally hit the 'i like this' link. (I don't like it one bit). Tiny childlike genitalia (his own) is probably what drives him to write clever stuff like that.
(dukefukem, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 10:46, Reply)

Ah the memories.....
Made it onto primetime BBC once!
Inside Out ( Real life and surprising stories from the South East, or pile of shit if you live here! ) were filming a report on the problems of modified car enthusiasts (boy racers) in Maidstone town centre. Great, got a phone call to go down there with a few friends to try and get some publicity, having told my then girlfriend i was staying in, and sadly having been in the pub heavily on the piss! So we arrive to see a mob gathered around a camera (think cavemen finding fire, or 11 year old finding porn) by which time ive lost my hat and am now exposing the closest thing to a afro you can get!
So we piss about for a bit, but we dont get noticed, so we go home, cold, fed up and feeling like a Scottish football fan!
When the programme came out i was with the mentioned lady, when they zoom out from a rather drunk guy with an afro, ie, me! I had to laugh, being drunk on telly is that funny, the now ex went fucking mental!

Special points for anybody who knows the guy who crashed his moped into a police car because he was looking at the presenter instead of the road on the same night!

Once called the guy of Art Attack a cunt as well!

and finally, friend of mine has played a plumber and stood naked in a field, and neither has been a porno! Strange!

I am upset that some people use this site to vent their sick ideas, there is a fine line between humour and a mental problem
(psychomonkey padded cell and drugged bananas, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 10:31, Reply)

Lifelikeandposeable (Lifelessanddisposable?)
You forgot to mention that you're currently hiding in the background of the anonymity of the internet. Although it's a habit for you on b3ta, people like you never have the balls to express such stuff publicly because you know full well that you wouldn't last a minute in the foreground.
I guess your own massively undersized genitalia explains your sexual fascination with children.

Fuck off you sad little tosser.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 10:28, Reply)

Cold...feet
Cold feet was filmed outside my mates house in manchester. or the outside bits were. One Sunday they were out there filming in the morning when he got up. And started moving around his flat. naked.....
On screen in the background one can plainly make out colins genitalia in the window behind nesbitts head.
(littlebootshorse, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 9:39, Reply)

Breakfast at Fanny's
I've been living in Romania for the past two years. Filming here is pretty cheap because you don't pay taxes for little kids and grandmothers to live. Some friends of mine were shooting a film called Rolling Dice, and they gave me a small part in it. I was to be one of the main guy's mates. The scene took place in a strip club. Woo and Yay thought I. Wrong, it was at 6 in the morning. So there I am, acting tough, with a beer in one hand, fag in the other, a scantily clad lady gyrating her minge in front of me and surrounded by a gang of evildoers. But all I'm thinking is "I want me fucking beeed"
(sinboy, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 9:37, Reply)

Hear, hear
abject turd.
(Mabel DelTaco, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 8:11, Reply)

Lifelikeandposeable
That's not funny, even for b3ta.
Fuck off, cunt.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 5:47, Reply)

Impromptu gay snogging on live TV
Many suns and moons ago, in my final year at Uni in Norwich, we got some invites to appear on Anglia Live, which was basically a local version of Kilroy or whateer. The week we went they were talking about the royal family, and the special guests were people like Andrew Morton and that paedo photographer guy from the Sun, Arthur something. There was free drink to get us feeling all jolly and talkative, but when the programme started it was kinda difficult to say anything interesting/funny 'cos as soon as you started to get some steam up they took away the overhead boomy microphone thing. However, at the end of the programme Jane Irving was standing right in front of us talking about what was gonna be on the following programme. Realising that they couldn't really move the camera and start filming this week's audience while talking about next week's show, I leant across my friend Esther to reach Ben, now a leading civil servant, and plunged my tongue down his throat. Hence postpub tv viewers from Cambridge to Gt Yarmouth were treated to the sight of about 45 seconds of two grown men snogging like crazy, while the presenter whittled on unwittingly right in front of them.

When we were leaving one of the production crew said it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen, while another one, obviously not so impressed, tried to kick me up the arse. And for a few weeks we became Norfolk's most famous homosexuals, behind Steven Fry obviously (though not literally).

Neither of us are gay, by the way.
(rwillmsen, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 4:07, Reply)

Me the Bollywood Queen
When I was 12 we lived in Bombay in India. My mum's friend ran a talent agency and they wanted some "anglo girls" to be in a movie party scene. So off I went to this hotel with a couple of other girls aged about 15 or 16. We were kitted out in 1960s bikinis and blonde wigs and off we went. The scene was being shot outside next to a pool and so I was put under an outdoor shower and surrounded by Indian men a lot older than me and when the music started we all had to dance under the shower together "in a friendly fashion" and rub coloured powder on our bodies while the star Shashi Kapoor fought off the villains. I had so much fun I couldn't wait to get home and tell mum and dad. Unsurprisingly, I wasn't allowed to go back the next day. My mother fretted for years the fact that I put my real name on the sign-on sheet and was terrified it would come back and embarrass us one day.
(Cat_On_Toast, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 3:49, Reply)

secret student....
i was a finalist for chris moyles secret student on radio 1...
so not really in the background of anything - but hey i was on the radio! more than once!
(Euphrosne, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 1:09, Reply)

Decs a Dick
My Claim To fave is appearing on CD:UK on 3 occasions and with my face right behind cat deeley (who i eventually got a peck off 15 year old fantasy complete!)

What was even better was shouting to Dec (from the ant & dec comdey duo)

instead of calling him dec i called him DICK

he still waved at me!

Tosser..
(mcgillp2k, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 0:43, Reply)

Me and my mate Harry...
You may know him better as 'Harrison' were in a little presentation called something like 'Last Crusade'

I played a German soldier marching round and round in the scene where they burn some books. Harry had a bit part as somebody called 'Indy'. He wore a hat. I've not seen him for years, but apparently he's shacked up with some skinny totty now. Bet he wishes he got a proper job with the council like me.

Mr Bronson off Grange Hill was Hitler.

Oh, and my mate Ade was in Cracker. He was a 'Forensic' You get to see his hand in the episode where the stutterer and his bird have just battered a guy in a back alley.
(TwoFourAlpha, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 0:41, Reply)