A friend of mine
was walking along in Sydney when he was approached by about three people with large sticks and bits of wood. They demanded his money, he handed over his entire 25 cents. They then demanded his phone. He pulled out his four year old brick phone. They laughed 'That phone's shit!' and let him go. He managed to keep his 25c and the phone.
( The Togaboy The world will end on, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:58, Reply)

Barcelona
Allow me to inject a bit of useful advice too. If you're in Barcelona, on the metro, and you're not getting the personal space you need (typically 3/4 young kids and the train isn't full), the people around you are trying to mug you. If you're there for any length of time it'll happen.

I was there for just three days in May and both me and my travelling companion nearly got caught on separate occasions, only getting away with it as we both had zipped pockets and they had only gotten half way before we noticed.

This isn't a 'funny' post, I just know it'll get read by a lot of people and it's the best bit of advice I can give because it's not a one-in-a-million-won't-happen-to-me thing. You go to Barcelona, it'll happen, unless you have your wits about you...

You should still go there though. It's beautiful.
(DamoUK, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:52, Reply)

Do it.
Give me your purse and click the 'I like this' button now or I'll kill you.
(ratthingbazzterd, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:52, Reply)

Manchester, Moss Side
I should have known it's not the best place to go late at night to visit a friend, but nearly at the end of three years of Uni without major incident, I thought I was doing alright.

In fact someone attempted it on me a couple of years previous, on the main street into Manchester, with a razor blade with electric tape wrapped round one end as a handle. "Hand it over", he said, as the poor student who'd just taken out the minimum tenner left the cashpoint. With three of us together and one of him, I laughed. When he repeated the order, I offered him my half-drunk fizzy drink. Now the girl with us laughed too. His line was that people were waiting at all corners should I run away to "fuck me up". I didn't believe him. I was right. He cycled off eventually saying it was "just a joke". Which presumably means if I'd handed him it, he'd have laughed, said "just kidding" and given it back.

But I digress. Moss Side, poorly lit street at night, two older kids than the one from last time, a giant f-off kitchen knife and me. With a wallet with 50p in it.

Them: "Hand it over"
Me: "OK."
Them (surprised at my lack of reluctance): "What's in there?"
Me: "50p."
Them: "Where's the rest?"
Me: "There is no 'rest'."

Knife somewhat closer to throat.

Them: "Where's the fucking rest?"
Me: "There is no 'rest'."

One of them gets twitchy as this is taking longer than planned and tells the other (knife-wielder) to leave. But the knife-wielder has other ideas, asking me where I'm from and what degree I'm doing if I'm a student. I ask him to leave. He does. Two minutes later I reach my friends' house and cancel my cards. Nice.

Oh... do I have to apologise for length? I thought this was the Victim Support site...
(DamoUK, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:48, Reply)

Um...
I once when I was around 16 years old, was harrassed by a ten year old for my bag of food shopping, which consisted of milk, bread, and a can of beans.

His BIG brother was watching from across the road...and yes, yes, despite this b3ta thread being a convention of every martial arts expert in the world, and that I too have trained in Wing Chun, I followed the first rule of that martial art.

If you have the chance.. run the feck away.. and I did.

So therefore I suspect I have the dubious distinction of being the only person who ran away from a 10 year old mugger.
(NoMoreFaith can believe its not bloody butter, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:47, Reply)

Walking down Sauchiehall Street
Across the road from the Garage nightclub, a bunch of shellsuited 15 year old neds were walking in the opposite direction.

I had a rucksack with a brand new motherboard and my laptop in it. One of the neds utters a yell and attempts to jump and slap me.

I'd been training karate for about 4 years. What did I do. Assess the situation and kick him in the head as he came towards me? Step slightly out of his way and laugh at him?

No...

I produced some sort of reflex punch/ block that just missed his face; he just missed me at the same instant too. If the blow had connected with him, I'd either have been set upon by many neds, or done for assault.

I'm glad, in retrospect, that I didn't manage to hit him. And I'm glad I was sensible and didn't chase after the wee bastards, and I'd proably have managed to lose or damage a grand's worth of computer gear.

But boy, did I want to kill those little pricks for weeks afterwards.
( drunkenoaf, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:40, Reply)

Surprise
I work in a heavymetal bar, and sometimes, to save money on putting bands from abroad in hotels, we take it upon us (as staff) to let the bands stay over at our houses.
This particular night a band from Finland (all very nice lads)had played there, and they were going to stay at a friends (female) house. We drove back from the bar to her house. She was in her own car(small Ford fiesta or something)with a friend who also happened to be her next door neighbour, and the rest of us -4 man band, her boyfriend, me and 2 other people- in a minibus.
As there was only a small parking space directly in front of her house, we decided to park the minibus around the corner, unload all the gear in it, and have some afterparty beers.
While we were unloading the van, i looked around the corner, and saw 2 african guys playing wiseguy to our friend. Now she is only 5.4" so they probably thought they had found an easy target.
The look on their faces quickly changed when they saw 8 longhaired, unshaved and drunk deathmetaltypes walking around the corner carrying big, 2" wide, chrome pipes and approaching them with quite some noise. As they ran away at a speed that would have made Carl Lewis jealous, we laughed our asses off, as -ofcourse- the chrome pipes were the recently dis-assembled drumkit-rack and we were only unloading our van.
We had a great party untill.. well, very early in the morning.
(Bokbiertrol, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:27, Reply)

I've never been mugged, as such
In other words, I have had people coming up to me and attempting to steal my things plenty times in the quiet backstreets of London, it's just that they only seem to do it when I have nothing of value, which is not actually that often as I usually have my semi-decent phone on me. To date I have been mugged of: an out of date travelcard, a saver ticket (just one, with stump,) a receipt from Tesco's (no idea why they wanted it) and 50p. Not all at the same time, either.
(visceralvixen, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:20, Reply)

Lothian Road
Edinburghs most lovely of promenades. Charmingly decorated with vomit, jailbait and gadgie proto-primates at approximately 3 or 4am. Myself and my friend, a hippy, were walking up the road to the 24 hour shop in search of some munch when we were surrounded by a group of bad tracksuits and baseball caps.

"Ehhh yous go' ahnnee eckies, like?"
"No"
"Valeeyum?"
"No"
"Jellies?"
"No"

The hippy starts to reason with him on a conceptual level, he pulls a decent knife. He points it at me, I punch him in the throat, and suddenly a copper turns up. Magic. Gadgie is on the ground, saying "kechh..." - knife, or his mates, nowhere to be seen. Copper starts to arrest me. The hippy calls him a fascist. This doesn't go down well.

So I ended up getting mugged by proxy...

Apologies for length, but you know you love it.
(Monkeyking, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 23:12, Reply)

The Doctor is a bastard
I was mugged a few times as a kid but the one that sticks in my mind (and gave me nightmares for years) is this one:
Walking home from school one afternoon I took my usual shortcut across some waste ground. I was 12 and about 4 foot 6 back then. Out from behind a wall (he'd been hiding) pops this huge guy wearing a surgeon's mask! I later found out he was eighteen.
"Gimme your money" he said, and kicked me in the balls! I crumpled to the ground and yelled for help while he told me to shut up and checked my pockets, nicking the 17p I'd saved by walking home.
What a cunt!
(foolish_child, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 22:46, Reply)

Giro Day
Up until a couple of years ago, the Royal Mail was responsible for delivering all DSS benefit to the benefit holders. Now, it's all paid direct into an account. It would always lead to some entertaining encounters. People would come up to you in the street and say, "Can I get me giro? I've got ID." And that ID would usually be a library card or something equally pathetic.

Anyhows, I was delivering once in one of the estates in Stirling. On giro day. When entering a small cul-de sac I heard, "The posties here!" And all of a sudden out of about four houses a raging mass came rushing over, surround me, grab the mail in my hand and proceed to conduct their own giro search. Now, to enquire as to what they were up to wasn't an option, most of the scrum were drinking Special Brew/Tennents Super (at about 10 in the morning) or some equilavent and the slighest provocation could have led to a trip to the Royal Infirmary. Needless to say, I didn't utter a cheep and was left with a pile of mail about half the size before I entered said street. In the end, I reported the incident, but not much could be done, it wouldn't be like any of them would admit to it. I was delighted when I got punted off to the sticks a couple of months later...
(Rob Roy The Postie is looking for alternative employment, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 22:43, Reply)

i was about 16
and walking through Bath with a friend.
a guy came over and my friend knew him. they started chatting and he pulled a gun on us.
at first we thought he was joking but found he wasn't.
the silly prat really didn't think it out.
We reported him to the police and it went to court where we discovered the gun was a starter pistol but he pleaded guilty and was sent down for 3 years.
( Plomien is Polish for flame, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 22:33, Reply)

my 18th birthday
thought id celebrate in style. so in the true 18th birthday sty-le i went for it and i mean went for it. I drank anything and everything that had any sort of percentage on alcomahol in it. then KBLAMO!!!!!! cant remember fuck all until I arrive home to a crying mum and an extremely pissed off dad. I actually have no idea what transpired that night after the ridiculous amount of alcohol that was consumed. i arrived homes at about 9 in the morning completely off my tits with none of the valuables that were in my possession when i went out at 8pm the previous evening. these included my 18th birthday Armani watch, my excellent phone, my 18th birthday amazing Fred Perry jacket and my wallet. verdict: fwack nos
Apologies for length its not cold, I’m just really really small
(fwack bang on it, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 22:32, Reply)

HA HA HA!
Not me but

www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=390627&in_page_id=1770

Sorry to sully these hallowed pages with links to the Daily Hell but its the only place I could find the story.
(alc http://www.cameronmusic.co.uk, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 22:08, Reply)

Churchyard
Living in the East End is like taking your life into your hands everytime you step out of your front door, but sometimes I used to think I asked for the locals to try and rob me...

..Anyhew, the shortcut from the g/f's house to my flat took me through a very dark and spooky churchyard (St. Annes in Limehouse if you know it) and after a rather relaxed evening involving a few bottles of wine, I had to get home. As I'm walking I notice a shadow ahead, behind some gravestones and realise that some chav scumbag is going to try and suprise me and relieve me of my worldly posessions.

Needless to say I was less than shocked when the tracksuited twat jumped out from behind a grave shouting something in his native language - he seemed suprised at my lack of reaction and went for the traditional 'Got the time mate?' 'That's a nice watch - I'll 'av that' approach.
From what I remember - I think I saw red completely and ended up smacking the guys face into some victorian gravestone and telling my wouldbe mugger that unless he ran home there and then, I would personally bury him in that same grave... I can only assume that years of pent up rage and aggression from having to live amoungst the East End scum (combined with three bottles of Oddbin's finest) burst out - but I like to think I scared the little fecker witless...
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 22:04, Reply)

Ermm, you mean physically?
Being 6 foot 2 and around 14 stone, I have little trouble. But I did pay to see the DaVinci Code, does that count?

EDIT: Plus I live in a posh area. And don't go wandering around in the dead of night like a twat.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 21:57, Reply)

Drop the soap? I hope they did....
Got mugged once on the way home from work - rather not go into it, as it was completely one sided and rather painful (4am, three on to one, and me almost dead anyway after yet another 12 hour day...) - still, the bruises and the week off work were worth seeing the bastards faces when they each got sent down for two years... one of the fearless 'gangstaz' actually started sobbing as he was led away... (hopefully to meet some nice gentlemen in the communal showers)..

... just a hint lads, next time you mug a train driver, don't sit in a local park playing with a railway lamp as the police drive past... it kind of gives the game away.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 21:38, Reply)

Never been mugged myself
but i believe I came quite close about 8 years ago..... was on me first ever holiday with my fiance (who later turned out to be a psycho slapper from hell, but at that point i quite liked her) and we were heading back to our B+B after a lovely night out at some ice dancey show thing at the pleasure beach. We had a few spare pound coins, so on the way back we dropped into an amusement arcade and had a few goes on the bandits..... now. Mrs Bag (Now ex mrs Bag, soon to be mrs fat ugly git she left me for, not bitter though, I have half of her house and pension yay) was behind me, facing away from me playing on a machine, when i felt a tap on the shoulder. As I turned, this young guy, about 15-16 and about the same size as me, stepped in front of me. I realized that he had 3 similar sized mates with him and they had surrounded me. "You got the time, mate?" he asked. Now. I am 5'7". At the time, I weighed about 9 stone. But I also have a very broad scottish accent. I pulled up my sleeve, glanced at my watch and said "Eeeeehm...... 's aboot twitty tae ten, boys." He stared at me. I stared back. I was by now quite worried. He took his hand from his pocket and waved it about a bit, as though there was a small fly buzzing around behind him, then he and his mates backed away slowly, turned and walked off without a word. It was the abject look of "Oh no..... he's Scottish!" that will stay in my mind forever.
Apologies for length, (insert joke here)
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 21:26, Reply)

Two junkies tried to mug me on broad daylight on Brixton high street
Spiderweb forehead tattoos, everything pierced five times, borderline cold turkey and getting desperate.
"You don't understand," he said, "I need the money to visit my mate in Peckham hospital, he's OD'd."
"You don't understand," I said, "if you don't get your hands off me I'll be stuffing your eyebrow piercings right up your arse".
You don't have to be a great fighter to deter most muggers, you just have to be more trouble than most of the other people around.
Being a foot taller and five stone heavier than them probably helped as well.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 21:08, Reply)

i kicked him in the balls
a group of chav lads followed us home on a train once. they called us goth scum you know the usual shit.
the stupid cunt took my mates bag. his stupid lanky twat of a mate droppped the
bag my mate tried to get the bag so he
tried to stop her. i kicked him in the balls.
he threatend to "jump" me i laughed and i then kicked him in the balls a few
times while my mate phoned the police.
he took her phone so my other mate ran after him and tackled him to the floor with the
help of the chains on her pants. i chased
the lanky twat an the police grabbed him.
so police asked us what happend.after finding out what happend off my mate they asked my other mate.
the conversation went like this

police: What happend?
my mate (pointing at me): she kicked him in the balls
police: then what?
mate: she kicked him in the balls
police: then what?
mate: she kicked him in the balls.

this went on for a while. police losing patients with my mate in the end. chav lads got took home in a police car.
(torture bunny lives under the kitchen sink, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 21:04, Reply)

Mugged...
Bit of a crap story like,

I was in Birmingham.. I was young and wandering round aimlessly the subways to get to moor street station I think it is.

So anyway this guy asks for a fag... You know the usual.. I actually smoke and gave him one. While smoking my fag he frisked me and liberated me of my mobile phone.

Such a nice chap he was.. We said our godbyes as he ran off with my telephone. I on the other hand stroled to the local police station and gave a statment.

Few month later it came to the police bits and bobs. He had done over 19 other people in the same few weeks. armed with a knife! I was soo glad I did not put up a fight....

He got a custodial sentance!

To make matters worse... Its like 5 or 6 years later and I am reading the daily mail all about that pc that got shot...

Their prime suspect... The dude who mugged me!

that was a crap story, click "i like this" just for some sympathy on me getting muggged though
(Matthew-field.co.uk, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 21:01, Reply)

I hardly get any trouble...
...being as I am a fairly menacingly-bearded northern death metal type bloke.

However, some years ago, on my firstest visit to That London, I was walking back from Full Tilt with a friend of mine who shall remain nameless. As we walked the mean streets of Camden, a swarthy young cutpurse stepped out from an alleyway with a cry of 'Stand and deliver!', or words to that effect.

Being as I was but a naive Cumbrian, I prepared to acquiesce to said ruffians' demand. My friend, however, had other ideas.

Staring at the chavvy vagabond with absolute disgust, he kicks outward, straight into the burberry fools right kneecap. There was a sickening crunchy noise, as snap snap snap went the would-be muggers leg. He dropped like a thing that drops very quickly, while emitting a scream worthy of a Discordance Axis record.

As we walked away, my friend turned to me with a wry glint in his eye and said 'He won't be doing that again for a while, eh?'

I felt a bit scared. Still, at least it took away my small town naivete.

Length, etc.
( Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 20:20, Reply)

Muggers, tch.
I was mugged and all they stole was my lousy t-shirt.
(Dyslexic Pidgeon, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 20:16, Reply)

I was mugged by Michael Crawford.
The cunt.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 20:14, Reply)

I nearly got mugged...
... when I was at Teesside Poly (as it was called back at the end of the 80s) and was in one of Middlesbrough's more dodgier takeaways. Me and my southern mates had been out on the lash and fancied a kebab. I was the only northerner and we got approached by this hard looking cnut who said in dulcit Teesside tones "Are ye students leek?" Too which I said yes. As I was about to get the perceived kicking he asked what part of Yorkshire I was from as he had an aunty in Doncaster. He then went on to say that us northerners should stick together against these "southern bastards" and I had to agree, knowing that it was saving us all from a right good twatting.
I've never been mugged. I fear I'd poo myself if I was...
(Ghostlight, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 20:13, Reply)

I've never been mugged,
but I've had my balls cupped.
( Malchick, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 20:10, Reply)

Run DMC, Beastie Boys gig
Hammersmith Odeon. Walked outside with some mates, biggest, baddest black fella (around mid thirties) I have ever seen approached. Mates sensed the danger and were long gone. he hit me, hard, he took my jacket, my t-shirt (I was holding one I'd bought at the gig) my wallet, my gig programme and smashed my glasses

The thing I found strange was, after having everything, he then proceeded to carry on kicking the living shit out of me, like I was gonna get up and chase him, duh.

I was 14
( Hankster, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 20:08, Reply)

Having grown up in rural Suffolk...
..I have never been mugged.

However, I have seen swans stealing bread off of ducks though.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 20:00, Reply)

Was walking down the gitty in my (rough) town to get my hair cut, texting a mate
walked past a bunch of chavs, after I walked past they called out to me, asking me for money, kept saying no so walked off, they kept doing it until one tried to persuade me that he 'just wanted to look at my phone' (yeah right), any hoo he ended up grabbing it and said 'give it me or i'll smack ya'. I knew I wouldn't be able to kick him and run off without his 6 foot something mate who was standing next to me beating the shit into me so I let him have it.

Result? I got a brand new free phone, better than the old one, with free credit. The chavs? Well, the police have kept me updated ever since (it was February), two of them have been arrested and when they come out of prison for other offences, my friendly police officer will be waiting for them, and i'm going to an ID parade to get them back in prison and bummed to death. Thanks guys!
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 19:43, Reply)

This wasn't me
but I don't fucking care, it made me wee.

I used to work up in Cheadle with a transexual by the name of Laura. Not the smallest, or feminine trannie I've ever met - she was ex army, with shoulders as wide as the doorway and hands the size of dinnerplates and certainly not the most convincing (think Bab's Cabs from League of Gentlemen), but she dressed, and lived as a woman. From behind, she looked quite girly in an old fashioned kind of way - shealways wore flowery skirts and she had a bleached blond perm.

She was out in Cheadle village one lunch time, and a passing chav on his bicycle thought 'Oooh an easy target innit, I'll tax 'er handbag'

He made a grab for it as he went past, only to be stopped by the muscles that 16 years squaddie training gives a man. He fell off his bike and landed on the pavement. Laura squealed in fright and looked down at the poor chav lying on the floor, who was by now utterly confused by the fact that his intended victim had five o'clock shadow and a voice deeper than Barry White.

I don't think I've ever seen a chav run as fast as that since.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 15 Jun 2006, 19:36, Reply)