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Labour leader Ed Miliband recently dashed into the middle of a road to save a fallen cyclist. Who has come to your rescue? Have you ever been the rescuer?
( , Thu 9 May 2013, 13:29)
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I wholly and unreservedly apologise to anyone who thought that I was in any way threatening Dr. Shambolics children with this post. I was not and had absolutely no intention of causing harm or distress.
I was in that post trying to suggest (as I do fairly regularly) that Dr. Shambolic seems to spend an inordinate amount of time on this site being rude, angry and arrogant to any number of posters for what seems to be no other reason than to be divisive. Time that he clearly isn't spending with his wife and children.
Hence - "Then again he'd have to step away from the computer in order to do so.
See you here again later today, tomorrow morning & tomorrow arvo then Shambo?"
There is strong anecdotal evidence that children of neglectful parents are often at higher risk of being groomed by paedophiles.
As a parent I attempt to structure my time online to not interfere with my valuable downtime with my family. As making snide and nasty comments about other posters on a comedy website is slightly less important to me than spending time with my family.
I would like to thank the brave, principled, morally righteous person who dobbed me into the mods.
I hope they will be there for me next time posters on this comedy website are talking about my wife being "double-teamed as I watch crying" or when certain posters discuss how they would like to have a "pool party at my house where my 8 yo. daughter could be passed around to be abused". Because of course moral guardians are always impartial. Aren't they?
I'd like to ask whichever moderator it was that stepped me why is it ok for other non-story posters (as in posters who regularly come here to stir shit and not post relevant stories) to respond to stories with comments like - "I hope you kill your family and then yourself" & "I hate you and I want you to die" amongst others? Whilst my comment was seen to be so reprehensible as to cause me to be stepped. Whilst many of these posters regularly post with seeming impunity.
Maybe I should spend less time writing stories based upon the nominated topic here each week and more time telling on these morally repugnant transgressors to the mods more regularly.
It's truly sad that people who tattle-tale on others are seen in such a negative light by most of society, as they are the pillars which hold up our staunch values and strong sense of ethical behaviour. Particularly on this site.
I would like to reiterate once more - I apologise for any pain and suffering I may have caused to whomever it was that took such umbrage at my comment as to tell on me to the mods and thus get me stepped.
I would apologise for posting off-topic but seeing as some posters regularly get away with posting single words as their /qowt story - fuck it.
NB: This may not be the best time to bring this up, but Shambles regularly has claimed that he has a way of circumventing ignore2.0 by not having to logout and then back in to read users posts that either he has on ignore or or have him on ignore. He has me on ignore and has done for some time. Yet constantly is able to respond to my post, supposedly without having to logout and then log back in again. According to him.
Personally I feel that unless he is a moderator himself Shirley this is going against the very spirit of ignore2.0 and is also using a work-around to cheat an implementation by the site's mods to ensure that if you have someone on ignore they cannot read your posts and you cannot read theirs. And if he is a mod then taunting users with his "I can see you but you an't see me" attitude isn't exactly "mod-like" behaviour is it?
I'd hate to think that someone wasn't playing by the rules. That would be absolutely awful.
EDIT: "banned" changed to "stepped".
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 21:49, 45 replies)
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It's really not that difficult - I suspect Shambo only makes such a fuss about it because it's the first time he's ever declined a cookie.
You don't seem very banned to me. Unless I've finally developed some sort of nerdy Sixth Sense, or something.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 21:54, closed)
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You're unintentionally funny. HTH xx
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 22:02, closed)
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I like the way you end your posts with "HTH". It makes you sound like a mildly retarded lisping snake.
hthhhhhhh.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:15, closed)
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( , Fri 10 May 2013, 22:42, closed)
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and not be such a dull cunt all the time?
ta
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:04, closed)
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AND ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU CUNT
I couldn't give a rats ass unless it involves saving/saviors or at the very least a weak pun
or star wars make some effort for fuck sake
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:07, closed)
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Check shambo's best of - here. And then check mine and tell me which of us regularly comes here to post a story based upon the nominated topic each week. Consistently.
Then tell me who comes here and does not much more than belittle posters. Constantly.
If you can, be objective - then get back to me.
Cheers.
EDIT: I should also point out that many of my "best of's" have also featured on the front page each week. I say this because I know how important that is to AB in particular.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:44, closed)
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And you're not even very good at that.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:53, closed)
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Way to prove your point there.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 1:11, closed)
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Cause regardless of what you call "semi-literate" (trust me - if you're setting the bar then I'm fucking Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare and James Joyce all rolled into 1), if I don't like nasty trolls then - yes I must be proving my point fairly well.
Repeatedly.
Sometimes on the Popular Page no-less.
EDIT: For the pedants - I put the "fucking" in so that one of you might pickup on it and then I could make a joke about AB's sexual proclivities.
Go on. You know you want to.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 1:21, closed)
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( , Sat 11 May 2013, 1:24, closed)
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my reply was what we call a 'joke' I was trying to be 'funny'
I was of course calling you a cunt while I was doing it but in the 10 years or so I have frequented this site I have been called a cunt, a twunt, a bellend, a splerging fucklord the other day by Janet (i think she fancies me), and numerous other insults. It is the juice by which B3ta runs it's why we come here. For the banter for the comedy 2 and fro and the of the cuff irreverent insulting humorous name calling.
Don't like it? go it mumsnet you tedious prick (that wasn't trying to be funny BTW I just think you are a tedious prick)
This is a very rushed post I have stuff to do it's the weekend ....
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 11:37, closed)
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But there isn't a bargepole long enough.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 11:51, closed)
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compared to one of shambolic's. Besides, isn't the point to answer the question, not to 'tell a story'?
( , Mon 13 May 2013, 15:53, closed)
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ban this sick filth.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 1:57, closed)
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have the impression that you don't really get it and that you are hurting yourself on here.
Hope I'm wrong. You seem a decent sort really.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:28, closed)
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I'm pleased to say that you seem a fairly decent person too.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:37, closed)
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Is it just the one pheasant revolting, then?
Doesn't seem like much of a movement.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:47, closed)
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It goes lovely with peas.
Or so I'm told.
( , Fri 10 May 2013, 23:54, closed)
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You've probably noticed he's had little effect.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 9:10, closed)
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The Wolfie Smith of the avian world.
Most delicious revolution ever.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 11:32, closed)
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I'd always assumed it posted random wank it googled and was quite impressed it was on-topic most of the time.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 0:01, closed)
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he'd want to be.
That or be catheterised.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 0:05, closed)
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Oh, wait, wait.
"sry. ur not doing it rong."
Hello 9gag.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 1:41, closed)
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seems to be quite an easy task for you. Played.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 1:50, closed)
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Literate, lucid & full of shit. Quite the catch aren't you?
And here I was thinking you were just a one-trick-pony.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 1:58, closed)
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Still, you're a prolix self-obsessed touchy little fuckwit, your loss.
alright.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:05, closed)
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Never meant to hurt your feelings.
As you say... my loss.
Cheers.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:07, closed)
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I'm letting the sprog and missus sleep in today as we've got an early match tomorrow (on Mother's Day FFS!), so as long as I don't snigger too loudly then I'm here all morning.
Alright?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:18, closed)
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You should set fire to your pig ugly wife and your deeply spasticated child then do the honourable and kill yourself.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:26, closed)
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You want to turn yourself in or shall I head to the /mailus page?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:28, closed)
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shouldn't we be the ones turning you in on the /mailus page?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:36, closed)
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But I'll bite - could you please furnish me with some proof of your allegations? Please.
Specifically where I've told people I hate them an I want the to die, where I've passed comment on the retardation levels of their children or how large their wives are.
That kinda thing.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:48, closed)
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She's pig fucking ugly. Comprehension not a strong point?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:50, closed)
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Sorry cowfoot - gotta go. Got vaccying and some house cleaning to do now everyone's up. I want to make the house nice for my beautiful wife for Mum's Day tomorrow.
You got that someone special something nice for that day?
Bet she'll love Terry's Choc Orange. Again. Nothing says "I love you mum/mother of my children" than something from the late-nite servo.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:58, closed)
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( , Sat 11 May 2013, 21:10, closed)
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It'll be sending the mods a 1,000 word essay on how hard done by it is.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:49, closed)
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my lil sister 2wice & some mad bird who 'fell' onto a train track...
if youve never tried lifting a human-sized deadweight above your head while 'security' blow whistles at you and the public pull their camera phones out & dont help you aint lived son!
ringofyre i wish you really were banned, or at least force fed pubes until u shut the fuck up you whining, pissbag of a cunt!
'the internets are picking on meeeeeeeee.....'
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:22, closed)
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Full of the milk of human kindness and a true hero.
I'm ever so sorry that my post has upset you so much.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 2:31, closed)
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somebody screencap this for when ringo sobers up.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 3:35, closed)
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that you always assume that I'm drunk?
And not just an absolute fucking nutter like yourself?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 3:44, closed)
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if you're not pissed you are actually utterly fucking tragic. what on earth are you hoping to achieve?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 3:46, closed)
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being all upset then I'd say I pretty much achieved what I set out to do.
Cheers.
I'll be hitting the bottle later this arvo - I'll skol a couple for you.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 3:59, closed)
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nice try on the legless defence though.
cheers.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 4:03, closed)
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Seriously, you're extraordinarily boring. You disrupt the board more than anyone else with these ten thousand word 'explanations'. No-one cares. Call a fucking helpline or something, you humourless windbag.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 7:14, closed)
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Another one.
Fuck, I am actually getting a bit tired now.
Oh well. Another day, another TTT session. (Ask AB about the "TTT" ref. if you don't know it).
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 7:37, closed)
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( , Sat 11 May 2013, 11:03, closed)
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Good innit?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 13:01, closed)
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I shall be still and blithely watch how you, the devil, and your tripe vainly fret and torment yourself, and blubber and writhe, achieving naught but to make us laugh and make you own case worse.
Indeed, I should like to see you speak aloud what you write, for if you did, the people would gather chains and bars and out of compassion would seize and bind you as a maniac.
Failing this, then, perhaps at God's prompting, oxen and swine would trample you to death with their horns and hoofs.
You tedious, tragic, tumescent prick.
( , Tue 14 May 2013, 1:37, closed)
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to your own back?
Edit, regarding your edit: I hardly think that running a separate browser session counts as 1337 h4xx0rin9.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 9:37, closed)
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Look at what I have to lose.
EDIT: Agreed about the cookies/etc. but shambo likes to crow about how he's playing one over me (us) so you kinda have to humour him. At least a little bit.
Then again I just logout and then back in again. Since I have one of these new fangled browser thingies that can store my username and password, takes me seconds.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 10:03, closed)
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And your b3ta account.
You appear to value the latter more than the former.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 10:18, closed)
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what are we talking about?
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 11:22, closed)
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I did find this gem from shambo the other day tho.
I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.
For the record - I don't have him on ignore.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 11:28, closed)
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I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 23:46, closed)
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That response really doesn't work in your favour. I think you maybe a little confused. Or drunk. Or both.
( , Sun 12 May 2013, 9:18, closed)
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I'd like to think that I'm one of the more balanced and less judgmental semi-regulars.
You are a monstrously idiotic cunt.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 19:55, closed)
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I especially liked the bit where shambo deleted his post about handing out my password in a most dignified manner.
( , Sat 11 May 2013, 23:06, closed)
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And you're too stupid to even realise that you've been socially hacked. Herp derp dermmmm.
( , Sun 12 May 2013, 8:03, closed)
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( , Sat 11 May 2013, 23:51, closed)
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Monkeys on typewriters eventually will write Shakespeare, you know.
( , Sun 12 May 2013, 1:23, closed)
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Has anybody actually bothered to read the OP yet?
( , Sun 12 May 2013, 8:01, closed)
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I must say I'm quite enjoying your increasingly frantic attempts to pretend to actually ignore the people you have on ignore.
( , Sun 12 May 2013, 9:10, closed)
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( , Sun 12 May 2013, 14:34, closed)
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( , Sun 12 May 2013, 17:50, closed)
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...amount of posters that have come out of this with dignity = 0.
Me included.
( , Sun 12 May 2013, 17:43, closed)
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Seems all you popular types are in here having a blast.
( , Mon 13 May 2013, 12:29, closed)
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( , Wed 15 May 2013, 1:07, closed)
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