An innocent (but incredibly nerdy) 12 year old
An innocent (but incredibly nerdy 12 year old) walks into a computer game shop. Straight to the ZX Spectrum section. He picks a game up from the shelf. A new one.. Strip Poker its called... As he turns the box over to look at the screenshots. He gasps in amazement. Eyes grow bold, head back.. WOOOOOOAAAH!

But this 12 year old was more amazed at the outstanding quality of the graphics for a spectrum. Totally not realising that he was looking at pictures of girls naked boobies. After the shop manager and the rest of the shop stop laughing.. The innocent (but incredibly nerdy) 12 year old was thrown out.

*takes a bow* Yes I did that..
(Miggyman, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:40, Reply)

World of Warcraft
4 x lvl 70's

raid six nights a week

just over 16 stone

on the doll

/me cry's while wanking to NightElf p0rn

u think im joking
lu.scio.us/hentai/albums/world-of-warcraft-hentai/page/1
(JLB8, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:20, 2 replies)

Maybe I just have a good ear?
Recognizing sound effects that have been re-used from other productions. Games, movies, music, etc.

Not remotely famous ones like the Wilhelm Scream, I mean something like one of the menu sounds from X-Com: UFO Defense being re-used for the inventory screen in Resident Evil. Not deliberately, either, it just came to me.

And seriously, how many fucking videos are going to use some for of Requiem for a Dream? There should be some kind of form to fill out before you even make an AMV.

I fear something is wrong with me.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:10, 5 replies)

this thread is turning into a competition

how nerdy
(ladyintheradiator, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:09, 1 reply)

Nerd
I read b3ta obsessively, and I think I can finally unlurk (recent account, long time lurker) and rear my ugly face.

I curse in Strogg, frequently, and can say several small phrases in this non-language: purely through late-night hunting through the interweb. I know the entire alphabet.

I am over twenty and live with my parents, constantly cursing in Strogg.

I'm also obsessive about Transformers (Simon Furman, not that Bay filth) and WH40K fiction.

This post is already overlong, so I shall hide now.

*pop* sorry
(forthejest thinks this is the Endgame, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:06, Reply)

Secret message in old SCO Unix
When I worked for SCO (SCOC, not SCOX) writing graphical user interfaces I encoded a secret message into a XPM formatted icon that was shipped in UnixWare 7.
(grahamm wish I could think of a clever sig, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:05, Reply)

Trainspotting
I once went on a week's holiday to the Isle of Wight as it was the only place in the United Kingdom you could see a 01-Class shunter.

I didn't see one, 01-001 remained resolutely unmarked in my Ian Allen spotter's book and I lost my thermos flask on the ferry.

All in all, the perfect break.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:05, Reply)

how nerdy am i?
i've just spent a solid, non-stop 24 hours straight on b3ta. THAT'S how nerdy i am.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:03, Reply)

Amusement
Pondering Confused Pedant's post of 'having more computers than people you've slept with'.

Leaving aside the fact that quality is more important than quantity and notches on a bedpost isn't really that healthy

1) Thank fuck I didn't recently accept the offer of 30 SGI boxes.
2) Counts...
2a) Counts some more
3) Phew ;)
(syllopsium, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:03, Reply)

Everyone remembers their first time
The first time I walked into a Maplins it felt like comming home. I was so overjoyed that such a place existed a tear ran down my cheek
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 23:02, 3 replies)

Telling the TV repairman how to do his job
Back in the days when people rented TVs my parents called in the repairman to fix it. At the age of 11 I was dabbling with very basic electronics after being given a Tandy set for Christmas. The repairman having the back off the TV was a great opportunity to see some real electronic gubbins. I made him give a commentary as he fathomed out what was wrong and eventually what to fix. After announcing that he needed a 330k resistor (or whatever) he dug through his collection of components and presented me with a resistor. I instantly told him it was not what he said it was and he was drastically out with his selection. Being told he was wrong by a spotty 11 year old clearly pissed him off and that was the end of the demostration for me. That didn't stop my smugness.
(grahamm wish I could think of a clever sig, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:55, Reply)

Unlike Douglas Adams (RIP),
I actually do make jokes in base-13.

God I hate being single
( jonbob loves you, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:54, Reply)

Get The Boot.
.
My laptop triple boots into Linux, XP and VISTA. It also has MS Virtual PC installed where I can boot 8 different versions of XP, all configured for certain scenarios.

My MAC boots into Leopard (when it fucking works) and then I have VIRTUAL BOX running which lets me load 4 different MS servers.

On my key-ring are three USB sticks. One is a boot Linux image which allows me to reset Windows passwords. One is an XP boot image and the other is a collection of tools and utilities including Virtual Machine images for another 5 OS's.

I use these on a regular basis.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:52, 3 replies)

Ooh and another one
25 years into photography (still film mind, none of this new fangled digital shite) and 15 years working in camera shops means that even now I can identify probably about 95% of traditional cameras I see after a ridiculously short glance.

On reflection it's a good job nobody ever liked me anyway really.

*Sigh!*
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:43, 2 replies)

Top Trumps
turned me into Saddy McSad, Sad Towers, Sad Street. There used to be a "Supercars" set, and whereas most sets had a picture and the facts on the front, these had the picture on the front and the facts on the back. This meant that there was room for loads of really obscure and thoroughly useless bits of info. Most had speed, acceleration, engine size, power and number of cylinders and that was pretty much it. These had all that and tons more.... price, weight, turning circle, fuel tank capacity, oil tank capacity (why on earth would you EVER need that in the real world) and I loved them. I knew every stat inside out and I'm sure I even corrected someone when they misquoted one. Just by knowing which car it was I knew if I had won or lost without even having to turning it over.

Umpteen years down the line and on one of the sky channels there was a Classic Car type prog, and in the titles they showed various tantalising close up of details and I recognized both the featured cars on that show.

From close ups.

Of the headlights.

Admittedly they were a bit give-awayey (an Alfa Montreal and a Citroen SM) but I have never before or since felt quite so simultaneously proud and ashamed at exactly the same time.

I can't believe how excited I am to confess to being such a twat.
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:29, 3 replies)

Time
I have a small orgasm whenever the time is 13:37.
(reducedfatLOLcat, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:24, 2 replies)

Brazilian music
Long ago, before PC's and CD's, music lovers used have to relay on something called 'vinyl,' which was in the long term a bit shit when you think about it.

I used to DJ Brazilian music, and spend a fortune acquiring the stuff, long before you could get a Trio Mocotoa classic from 1973 on a CD compilation. So it cost me an absolute fortune.

Sadly, one night in Camden, after a gig, some cunt nicked the cream of my collection outside the nightclub, due to a dozy cow and waiting for a cab, which at the time completely destroyed me, given this was vinyl at a £100 plus per record in the box. And that was that. I was so destroyed I went off for two weeks to start a new life as a Buddhist in Hemel Hempstead, before getting a bit fucking bored with the meditation lark.

Anyway, the great news is now, due to the internets, I have been able to download more or less everything I lost (besides the Ed Lincoln 'golf-ball' album) or buy it painlessly on CD, even with some added Japanese Export finance.

All of which now sounds much better on the stereo as well. :)
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:14, Reply)

Glazed eyes all round
At last a topic more up my street (the rest have been too exciting or normal I'm afraid). I'm 40, live alone with 3 cats and have more computers under this roof than women I've slept with...

I shan't post too much cos I could be here all night, highlights? I bought a ZX-81 in 1981 with my summer holiday money then spent the next year pulling it apart and learning assembler. Next years money got me a Jupiter Ace and parts to hand build a 16KB rampack (ah the joys of using Forth). My parents got me a BBC B as they decided I had some sort of talent and the prescience to think it might make me a career. I still remember 17 at Uni: a mate and me would take the bus into town then go from shop to shop ripping off their EPROMs to floppy and putting the C64s into infinite loops spewing juvenile filth 8) The bastard had dress sense though and got all the birds.

At 20 I discovered Unix via Tannenbaums Minix, finished my motorbike license and saved enough cash to buy a hard disk. A scant few years later I was a System Admin at a Uni, wrote a MUD and contributed bits to the burgeoning Linux project.

I can't watch a lot of films, I end up shouting at the screen and having to turn it off. Too illogical, too stupid and too wrong - Hollywood, computers do NOT fucking beep constantly or make chugging noises. Arrrgh!

Time to stop, your eyes are going and the smile is starting to crack - after so many years I can actually see the signs now (and know I'm not scoring again). Another drink and flash up a game - Neverwinter Nights 2 - in honour of GG.

/lurk on
(Confused_Pedant, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:06, Reply)

I once got dumped
by an ex stripper.

It doesn't get more pathetic than that.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 22:06, 2 replies)

I <3 nerds

( diffy maybs, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:59, Reply)

Rem's reminded me
Although I didn't know before now that it was nerdy, I guess it's worth mentioning, if others think so.

I'm trilingual (English, French, German), with a good understanding of several other languages, such as Dutch, Russian, Japanese, Chinese (more Cantonese than Mandarin), and so on. My CV, rather nerdily, has

"This CV is also available in French or German.
Diese Lebenslauf ist auch in der Franzosisch und Deutsche Sprache vorhanden.
Cette CV est aussi disponible en francais ou allemand."

Printed proudly at the top.

This has resulted in me being a big nerd for languages, and especially the English language.

I can't watch Star Trek, because the opening sequence has a split infinitive, and I still can't get over it.

I have been known to not go into a shop because some of the signage featured a misplaced apostrophe.

And I read the BBC News Website's Magazine daily. And MM, too. I get annoyed when no letters are posted by 7pm, it feels like my day has been violated.
( Thinker, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:59, 4 replies)

Think I'm just too white and nerdy...
I'm a professional engineer. Working with rather large hydraulic robots. (which gives me something of a headstart in the nerdishness stakes...)

I scored 99 / 100 in a Nerd test

My bedroom resembles a lab. In fact it's better equipped than the Uni I went to; I sleep next to a benchtop dual-voltage power supply, signal generators, multimeters, oscilloscopes, all sorts. As well as a stack of boards that I always think will come in useful but never do (who still uses RS232 serial? And who of them could do with a 6-way splitter?!)

I build VR sets for fun. And am currently building up a decent AR set.

I can quote the 3 "real" Star Wars. Word For Word. Including the Family Guy episode...

I've got a laser that can burn holes in floppy disks and does a good job of etching patterns into my PC case. And have fitted it to a Shark. I figure every creature deserves a warm meal...

I've got a pair of ForceFX lightsabers. And am considering gutting them and fitting Wiimotes.

I wrote off at 14 and corrected the BBC's Robot Wars magazine and received an apology for the mistake(!)

I occasionally wear a home made, fully x86-compatible, Linux/XP dual-booting wearable PC to work.

I've written innumerable scripts to allow the use of Wiimotes in computer games. And the use of Daleks with Wiimotes :P

I've played Warhammer 40k twice in my life. And won both times.

I've got 3 PDA phones. And still find myself in situations where I could do with more.

I've got designs laid out for a rather nicely fitting, properly proportioned, fully heads-up-display-enabled Half Life style HEV suit

I got engaged on the same day that Half Life 2 was released. 13 hours of playing that game (most of which was loading times...) later, we finally settled down to all things post-question-popping.

At uni I set about designing a hydraulic exoskeleton to answer a coursework on "things to help the elderly" but eventually ran out of time and had to knock up a Stirling Engine powered pan stirrer. Thoroughly inefficient and probably useless, but hey- I passed.

I've been told that I looked most at home when I was in full "Mad Scientist" garb.

Furthermore: I wear rather impressive [polarised, photochromatic, frameless] glasses, built my own computer, use a Labcoat as a dressing gown around the house and am shortly to begin building my own car. Which based on the above would make KITT look dated.
Oh, and I've just about perfected an Evil Genius Laugh. The kind that reverberates around a large stone-walled hall in my underground lair*.

*Actual underground lair's existance may not be as described.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:54, 6 replies)

It seems I'm a different sort of nerd.
To be honest I blow at computers and consoles so I've never really been interested in them.

Turntables are a different story though. I might not be able to survive more than a minute in any MMORPG (save perhaps Hello Kitty Island Adventure) but when its time to start sorting the cartridge loading for Shelter 501, I'm there switching the phono stage to 47k ohms. A weekend spent dismantling a Linn LP12 and putting it together again so it bounces perfectly is a weekend well spent. Turntable components litter my listening room (I've been good recently and whittled down to three tonearms, four cartridges, two phono stages and a record cleaning machine) whilst I own certain albums a few times over as different pressings have different strengths and weaknesses.

When it comes to my iPod, I will rip Vinyl to a heavy duty CD recorder with hard drive, track mark it and then run it through a LAME MP3 encoder, only then adding to iTunes. Blind test me on my custom MP3's versus the same size file carelessly ripped off a CD, I'll get it right each time.

IT based nerdism is a healthy group activity by comparison.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:54, 4 replies)

Music.
Poison the Well dedicated a song to me when they played Leeds cockpit.

Nerdy, gettit?
Nevermind. Any Weird-Al jokes taken, yet?
(sorry., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:54, 1 reply)

Last night...
I travelled for two hours, across a range of mountains, in the dark, to play Settlers of Catan.
(theweapon never ever bloody anything ever, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:51, 2 replies)

I'm also
a major Pink Floyd geek. I have everything they've ever released (with the exception of The Final Cut, on reasons of principle), and a truly frightening collection of bootleg stuff.

How does that make me much of a geek, you ask?

When David Gilmour was on tour for his latest album I booked a flight to LA for the morning of his concert, returning the next morning, and at one point on the trip back from the concert found myself walking through downtown LA at about 3:00 am. And it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

Even now, watching the Remember That Night DVD will move me to tears.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:42, 6 replies)

Please calculate the significance of your other: ____________
Okay, so I'm not going to be a winner. Maybe 'most generalized nerd'? But still, to prove that I'm nerdy:

- I have an unhealthy obsession with computers. Maybe not in the sense that I want to know exactly how each part works--I like how they look and smell. I can spend hours in an electronics store and will often stop in the doorway and sigh happily at the aroma of new hardware; have also often fallen asleep cuddling my laptop or other gadgets.

- I love to play computer/video games and can spend all day and all night on them. If I get particularly into a game, I'll usually research on who made it and how, and go to some lengths to acquire whatever merchandise that was produced for it.

- I've considered getting tattoos--the only designs I'd ever want, though, all come from games of some kind. (Triforce, Horde crest, a katamari, etc.)

- Was dead obsessed with anime and manga when I was younger. (Not so much now, still enjoy them though.) Would research on series I hadn't seen yet, and frequently knew more about them than people that had actually seen or read them. Fancied myself on the 'cutting edge' so to speak, if anything had come out within the day or so I was likely to have known about it.

- I'd go to anime conventions and sit in the back of the trivia panel grumbling about the difficulty (or lack thereof) of questions, but never worked up the nerve to compete myself. I did end up winning something like it from a local club gathering, letting the other semi-finalist answer one question to my twenty or so.

- The discussion of etymology makes me feel all tingly and happy, as do talks about physics and other sciences (even if I can't understand them).

- I took three semesters of Latin and had memorized parts of the textbook. I'm trilingual and am working on learning two more languages. I get ridiculously excited about buying bilingual dictionaries and have a small but growing collection.

- I sorta-met Terry Pratchett at a book signing. I kind of blushed and got too tongue-tied to say anything other than 'hi-thanks-a-lot-bye'. Not sure how nerdy this is, but other people are including their Terry obsessions, so there it is... Oh. I do have two copies of Good Omens, one of which is signed. I read the other one religiously. I also sometimes have a third copy on hand (to give away, of course) in case I need to evangelize.

- Might be obsessed with paper, stationery, etc. I have a notebook and sticker collection, and way too many pens. 1.0mm pens actually make me cringe. I hoard .3 and .25 ones. Also cannot walk into an art/office supply store without buying something.

- I attend at least one anime convention, plus Comic-Con, annually, and for the past few years worked at the Masquerade at the latter. Haven't dressed up yet, but I think it's only a matter of time...

- Math and computer jokes still make me giggle, like 'The agony and dx/dt' or 'There are 10 types of people in the world...', 'Don't drink and derive', etc.

And the last sign of nerdiness: I got really excited when I saw the title of the new QotW. And now I'm upset I can't remember more nerdy things I've done. Boooo.

I'll see myself and my length joke out.
(Rem Sir, why are you thrashing about on the floor?, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:40, 1 reply)

Well.
Every day me and my friend discuss our plans for Eve-online, in detail, we talk about all the ships and fittings, battle tactics and how to make more intersteller kredit (which is money) When we're meeting up we text each other saying things like "be right there, warping" or "only 4 jumps now", "kk lol".
We even have in-jokes.
And now its the same with World of warcraft.
( Cae1, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:40, 1 reply)

I seem to remember one summer holiday in the distant past
where me and five mates went to a cottage in Norfolk for two weeks, and without pause, played Dungeons and Dragons all day, by day, and Cthulhu by night, if we 'needed a break'.

We more or less completed Against the Giants, Decent into the Depths of the Earth, Vault of the Drow, and laid into the Queen of the Demonweb Pits before our time was up.

And that still didn't seem enough. Good times. :)
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:37, 1 reply)

Music,
I am a music geek, uber nerd, ask me nearly every music question, about allsorts of genres and I'll know the answer....

nerdy music anecdotes

1)I have my albums ordered in the shelves alphabetically and chronoligically as well, with best of's and live albums included in the order they were released.

I have also reorganised the collection into genre as well, so dance, rock, folk etc are all easily accesible.

I was going to subcategorise the collection with solo albums by members who'd been in bands so you'd have all the Beatles recorded work chronologically followed by George harrisons solo back catalogue, John Lennons back catalogue, Paull McCartneys Back catalogue, and then i realised everyone would know I had a Ringo album.

2) High fidelity is my favourite film & book.

3) When I was younger I invented a pretend band, created all the album covers, all the songs, and then 'remastered and repackaged' them, which meant i got to write sleeve notes as well.

I also invented several solo spin off projects from the fictitious band, no-one ever saw any of this, and I think some still exists on my hard drive and in my PC.

4) I have written a critical music column for over 14 years, have insulted many famous musicians, but on one occasion I put together a review based on the two albums the Beatles might have released had they not split in 1970, with songs all taken from relevant beatles albums in the early 70's. And then compiled the albums and put them on CD with mocked up artwork (for the record they were Tittenhurst Park (1971) & Everest (1972).

5) In one of my columns I invented a cult live band from the 1970's who recorded a limited one off album in 1974, and then reviewed it pretending it was a lost classic... but best of all after this piece ran I had people emailing me saying they'd seen the band in question, or heard bootleg copies of the album.

6) I spend hours and hours hunting down obscure and deleted vinyl on ebay and online, then find the albums have been remastered and reissued.

7) I once scored over 113 million on the music quiz on our late lamented locals quiz machine, and this was a proper hard machine.

I am a music geek and I'm proud of it....


(I'll not mention the Dr Who collection, or the F1 room in my house........)

Length about 74 minutes on CD allegedly to include an entire recording of Beethovens 9th Symphony because it was Sony boss Noria Ogha's favourite track... a fact which has remains unproven to this day.
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:35, 2 replies)