I'm really bored
if you could have any job in the world what would it be?

points awarded for things that aren't along the lines of (insert famous hottie)'s bra/pants/dildo, or for things that aren't a given, like Top Gear presenter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 14:50, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

good newsletter today
that is all
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 14:19, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just spoke to the estate agent
and all the paperwork's come back fine, so we are officially Moving In tomorrow. Well, neither of us are actually moving in tomorrow, just picking up the keys and I'm paying the deposit today (£1372, ouch).

It's official, then. Maladicta and Mr Maladicta (eventually) are moving to Ashford.
( Maladicta, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 13:00, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Grumpy Old B3tans...

Got a complaint? Want a good old moan? Something / somebody pissed you off and left your metaphorical cheese out in the wind?

LET IT OUT!

No matter how life changing or insignificant you may think it is, please feel free to insert your frustrations and general anger at the world into this flushable depository.

I offer no solutions…it’s just that sharing makes you feel better, you know. Also, seeing other people’s problems might make you think that yours aren’t quite that bad after all.

Let me get the ball rolling with….this week’s QOTW. I mean, what were they thinking?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 15 Aug 2008, 12:54, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stupid thing to try out of boredom.
Just had an e-mail which is driving me nuts, I don't know if anybody can do it or not.

It says: Hold your right foot off the ground and rotate it in a clockwise fashion. Try and draw the letter 's' in the air with your right index finger without your foot changing direction.

It makes you look like mentaller but it is bloody impossible.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 12:28, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The QOTW Sucks
So welcome one, welcome all to the twisted, glossy pleasure that is...
Kaol's Fantabulous Questions!

1) When was the last time you broke the law? What were you doing?

2) Which "movie monster" scares you the most?

3) You're in a pub. It's Karaoke night. You have to do one song, what do you sing?


( Cawl, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 11:39, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This weeks question of the week, so no one needs to read it
5. Lost my virginity (arf)
4. Mum threw away my drugs!
3. Parents threw away my vinyl
2. My favourite teddy!
1. STAR WARS!

not much further variation to be had. I'll wait for the best of thanks.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 8:37, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Morning World!

One of the 50 or so scheduled operations on my nephew to try and piece together the twatted jigsaw of his skeleton was a success yesterday!

My boss is starting the first day of his two week holiday today…and you know the old adage:

‘When the cat’s away…

the mice will do even less work then usual, (which isn't a fat lot to be honest) and will just fanny about on B3ta all damn day!”

This week was the first week I have attempted to have a lump at Fireflier’s matched betting scheme, and thanks to the Aston Villa result last night I am already swimming in £150 of pure sugary profit!

Also, whilst in the throes of drunken manly high fives and suchlike with the ‘Illustrious and growing ever more illustrious by the hour’ Captain Placid, He confirmed that we will both definitely be attending the bash on the 23rd!

Despite my protests of TMI, he assured me his balls will be ‘shaved to a glisten’ for the event.

*shudders*

Today is a good day. I hope to share the lurve with y’all. In fact, if you will forgive me a brief, undignified, overtly unkempt outburst of a celebratory gesture…

Woo!

*excites*

Right then *rubs hands together* what’s the new QOTW?

*checks*


oh…well you can’t have everything I suppose
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 15 Aug 2008, 8:25, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Party!
It's Friiiiiiiiiiiday!

As it's the weekend, I've a joke motivational poster for you...enjoy.





(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 6:34, 176 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What authors do you periodically like?
Every now and again, I love a bit of Douglas Coupland. But sometimes, I can't be arsed with him - especially in Microserfs and Jpod with the UTTERLY FUCKING POINTLESS filling of pages with binary, Pi to 15,000 digits, random stream of consciousness and so on. Just get a grip Doug.

There are some bits I do love though, like the Neologisms in Generation X (and my god, I can't believe that book is 17 years old) - See here for what I'm talking about.
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 0:40, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Ow, ow, ow ow, OW.
Ning all! I'm on the last train back to Canterbury tonight nursing a sprained ankle with a bag of peas and probably not going to work tomorrow because walking makes me cry in pain :( on the plus side, I had many a beer with clendrix and wellgroomedwookiee so woo for that :)

How are we all tonight?
( Maladicta, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 22:59, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Personaility Disorder test...
Which one are you?!

Linky

Disorder 	Rating 	Information
Paranoid: 	Low 	 
Schizoid: 	Low 	
Schizotypal: 	Low 	
Antisocial: 	Low 	
Borderline: 	Low 	
Histrionic: 	Low 	
Narcissistic: 	Moderate 
Avoidant: 	Low 	
Dependent: 	Low 	
Obsessive-Compulsive: 	Low

Apparently that means i am one of these...

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise.
They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends,
since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend.
Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships.
They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 22:51, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

arse
I hit the wrong reply button:(
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 22:21, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

mice
or, more specifically, mouse.
I was rudely awoken at 4 am by a mouse running over my slumbering form. A mouse! on my face! at 4 in the morning!! it even nibbled a bit of my hair before i woke up.
I hate this country!!*

then someone at work said 'oh it could be worse, could be a wharf rat - they're common here' (google image it. lovely, eh?!)

so the question is, what should I do - move ASAP back to civilisation; get a humane trap and set it up this evening, then stop being a baby; or go all american and sit in my bed hunched up over an arsenal of weapons which would shame Terminator, waiting for the beady eyed little fucker to emerge, then blow it into the middle of next month?

*shudder*

* I'm in america...
( ascorbate, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 19:47, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dead Board?
Bit of a shame...
I'm still at work, I came back to find it empty here, the new QOTW being a rubbish one and... I can't think of anything else to moan about.
( Cawl, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 18:34, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How much do AC/DC rock?
they've got 19 platinum albums and all of their songs are pretty much the same

that's some talent.

in other news: I got an ipod shuffle for my birthday. it's fucking brilliant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 16:32, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where am I?
I have to walk over a live commercial airport run-way every day to get to and from work.
I dont work in the airport or have anything to do with the airport. I am not trespassing either.



P.S I only just spotted the Off-Topic section during a particularly boring day at work. How long has this been here!!!?
(Miggyman, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 16:27, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why, oh why
is telly so crap?

It's turning me into a proper geek. I can't stop reading about electronics and other geeky stuff on the old interweb.

If only there was something on TV to numb my brain instead of doing interesting stuff instead.
(dchurch bah, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 16:21, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

True Facts...

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.


2. All idiots, after reading the first 'fact', will try it.


3. And discover that the first 'fact' is a lie.


Why post this shite? Because I just recieved it in an email...and I fell for it, so I wanted to see if anybody else would too...while we wait for the next QOTW.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 14 Aug 2008, 16:03, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For the love of God...
...don't use Limewire.

If you must, use Frostwire instead. Less spyware.

Better still, ditch Windows, and never worry about virii or spyware again.
(dchurch bah, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 15:21, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where's
the new QOTW?!?!?!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 15:10, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oooh the irony
I missed the end of the "Blood" question as I was .... cleaning blood off my doorstep.

That's the last time the God-botherers will come round here!

No, really, I didn't. It wasn't even human blood. My neighbour's cat decided (for reasons known only to it's stupid ginger fluffy self) to deposit a dead and semi-dismembered mouse at my daughter's feet.

Her horrified screams sent me pelting out there, where she was incoherently pointing to the poor departed beastie. One quick scoop with a shovel and a bucket of watered down bleach later, and all the evidence is gone.

I suspect, however, that I may have the odd nightmare looming from my poor wee lamb.

The karma fairy is really taking the piss now.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 14 Aug 2008, 15:08, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Limewire
Does anyone else on here use limewire, or any other file sharing site? any advice on which one to use, i've just got my first personal (i.e. not work!) computer, and am very excited :-) but completely and utterly clueless.

thanks.
( ascorbate, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 15:03, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good grief...
did my rant last week fall on deaf ears or something?

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7560887.stm

*Shakes head*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Aug 2008, 14:04, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just read
that they are making a new movie of He-man that is going to be nothing like the one with Dolph Lundgren in it.

fucking sweet!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 13:32, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ATTENTION : CALLING ALL WRITERS
The B3ta bunker, found here : b3tabunker.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2251263%3ATopic%3A1443 is currently running a writing challenge - basically, a story with multiple contributors. All you have to do is sign up (takes 2 minutes), add your name to the list, then when it's your turn you can drive the story forward in any direction you wish.

The current story can be found here : b3tabunker.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2251263%3ATopic%3A1471 - it should be quite interesting to see where it goes. I know there's a lot of great writers who haunt this board - come and join us. It'll be fun...
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 13:24, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Thursday, time for another quiz
See if you can guess the intended purpose of the following inventions

I scored a respectable 4/10, lets see if you're Barnes Wallis or Wilf Lunn.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 Aug 2008, 12:44, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)