I just got the loveliest Facebook message from an old mate from art school.
Hello there ,
I have now recovered from the shock of pregnancy and birth sufficiently to tell you what I clearly forgot to tell you before.......it's kind of inconsequential, but no one appreciates it and I thought you perhaps would...
When I was 9 months pregnant we went to see the Dead Kennedys play. No Jello Biafra, unfortunately, but East Bay Ray was cool - in an aged junkie kind of way... in rose tinted Ray Bans... looking like he works in a Library in the 50's.
I got escorted to a chair (of all things) up some stairs behind the sound desk, directly opposite the stage ! The bouncers were very excited because they already had one pregnant person there ... So, It reminded me of you playing 'Holiday in Cambodia' on a morning at Swan Lane, (were we used to live). Even as I was getting kicked apart from the inside and could feel the inside of my rib cage with every blow.
I like the picture, (facebook pic), it's cool, you should be in The Breeders !

It's cheered me up so much.

Edit - Might be because I'm drunk.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:42, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been for a shower...
...and I get the distinct impression that someone has been dicking around with the internet.

Dr Spank is going to to pay a visit to chickenlady bottyland in a minute...

Oh and Liberace was just so awesome wasn't he?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:29, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Michael Jackson was my hero
I'm completely in pieces....b3tans..tell me, what should I do?

I'm willing to sell my moutnaint bikes and give all the money to the gorgeous chickenlady so she can buy wine, shoes and books - in that order.

And chickenlady is the best person on the earth, in the world and i don't buy her enough wine or shoes or books.

And i'm in the shower...

Oh, and I love Liberace too.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 26 Jun 2009, 22:15, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's my birthday and my bosses wife made me CAKE!
What unexpected pleasantries have you had today?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:16, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The thread of malice has been RUINED!
Vitriol only, please.
( thealternativefact, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 21:07, 146 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Becky and Clendrix's little thread of malice
So who are we disliking tonight?

It's been so nice on here since Psychochomp left for Glastonbury doncha think? Just popping to the shop to get some fags as I haven't smoked in several days, but had two at college today, so need more tonight as i'm on the BEEEEEEEEER
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:30, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just put my hair in rollers
and it's come out HUGE. It's pretty fun.

What's everyone's plans for tonight? I'm going to go out, get hammered on cheap rosé, try and rape some fugly indie-boy, fail, go and cry, smoke too much, maybe be sick, drunk text someone I shouldn't, and have a night to remember that I REALLY DON'T.

And I can't decide what shoes to wear.

Is your night going to be as fun as mine?

EDIT: Please help me decide. I'm wearing this

Do I wear:
- Metallic green high heels
- flat pointy black and white brogues
- sparkly red laceups (the theme here is red-and-green, I'm wearing my Tatty Devine 3D glasses necklace)
- Plain black heels
- Patent grey shoeboots

Or any of my other myriad shoes? Name a colour, I've probably got a pair.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:20, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So where have all you fucking fuckers fucked off to then?
I had a long boring afternoon learning about disinfectants and hospital aquired infections - MRSA to you folk and I want some entertainment now. The king of pop is dead, Charlie's angel is dead...who's next?

As a special treat, MJ cockflavoured songs...

Cock to be there
Pretty young cock
cock it
The cock is mine
I just can't stop loving cock
smooth cock/cock criminal - I can't decide which I like best
Leave cock alone
Cock in the mirror
The way cock make me feel
Heal the cock
Will you be cock
remember the cock
Earth cock
cock in moscow
You cock my world
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:53, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Its official.
I'm addicted to guitarists. I just can't keep myself away from them.
College leaver's do last night, I went home with band. Guess which one I ended up with (Even though I would rather have had the singer).
That makes five since January.

What can't you keep away from? No points for YM.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:43, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

All right?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:08, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, it was my birthday yesterday...
(yes, attention, look at me etc...)

... and two celebrities died, ergo for the sake of the global entertainment industry it is clear I should have no more birthdays.

Anything interesting happen on your last birthday?
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:35, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, I'm worried.
Last night my brother's car set on fire and rolled into the house.
This afternoon the factory where I work has flooded because of the thunderstorm.

I can't remember the order. Is it locusts next, or Death Of The Firstborn?
( Cawl, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:17, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Leeds tonight
Good afternoon folks!

Hope everyone is ok? I know I've been off for a while but been well busy in this new role! I'm writing to see if any b3tans are about in Leeds city centre tonight and if it would be ok if I met up? I keep hearing about bashes and people on here and reckon it would be good to put faces to names!

Can anyone help?

Cheers!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:15, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bells
two or three times a week the cunts at the local church crank out their shit bell-ringing for approximately 2 hours at a time at absurd volumes. Wouldn't be so bad if the ridiculous amount of practice they did paid off, but no they are still shit.

Reckon I'd get anywhere by writing to the council complaining about the noise? I could word it in such a way that they don't know it is the church and bell ringers to begin with. Saying that the same group of people make loads of loud noise for hours on a regular basis.

What do you think?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:53, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey guess what guys
its friday, and I know you've all got the news of dead people to keep you busy but I want you to tell me what your last blind date was like.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:49, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ACTUAL MUSIC LEGEND DIES
www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hfJ3F0BxJ43QilwHe11waMsP_JEQD991VAJG1

Fucking Sky Saxon has died. Now I actually give a toss about a dead musician today. The Seeds were fucking AWESOME and knocked that squeaking paedophile's output into a cocked hat.


The man himself in action:
www.wikio.com/video/1309208

edit: DOES NO-ONE ELSE CARE?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:15, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bollocks...
...I had some blinders to post to the 'Bosses' QOTW but I was kept so busy by the fuckers I didn't have the time. Twats.

On a completely unrelated note, does anyone else think that Jackson isn't dead and instead after stashing all the advances from those concerts he now-can't-do-on-account-of-being-dead, he's done a Kansas City Shuffle to finally get the world off of his case?
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:14, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Christ, some people....
Got a letter from orange this morning with my PAC code so I could get a new contract. Another persons had been put inside as well. "Ah," thinks I, "I will be helpful and text this person their code so that they get it sharpish".
The bastard's been arguing with me for the last hour or so, I'm not even sure what his actual problem with it is.
But its still the most interesting thing available for me to do today...
Bah.

What's everyone else up to?
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:10, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Andy
Andy the scary smack dealer lives in a ground-floor apartment opposite. I don’t have too much of an issue with skag dealers as long as they don’t sell to children, but as his doorbell is borked, I do have an issue with the local junkies loudly banging on his window 24/7 going “Ahnnnndy” in their zombie nasal whine. I mean, my sleep is precious.

So do I:
a) Report him to the police, just to get some silence?
b) Send him a lovely letter, reminding him of the discretion required to successfully deal smack, and would he mind getting his doorbell fixed, there’s a good chap?
c) Start peddling myself and undercut the bastard?
( smokey bobinson westing by musket and sexton, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:48, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who do you want to nominate to face the vote out of the QoTW house this week?
It can't be Wormulus btw, I'm the equivalent of Davina McCall in this hypothetical B3taBrother.

Your 3 nominations please.

So far we have:
eds meds
Vipros
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:14, 62 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bert Monkeysex just sent me another text.
It was another bad MJ joke.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:07, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ANGUS!! ANGUS!!
.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:54, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

fuck me you lot are boring today
either that or I can't find where the action is.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:41, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shuddering fuck.
I am this blokes best man tomorrow. How the hell can my speech embarrass someone who does that on live television? I'm bricking it. Absolutely bricking it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:38, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yo, Yo, Yo, YO MOTHERFUCKERS
Tonight it's time for Aye to the See to the motherfucking DeeSee at Wembley motherfucking Stadium you bitches. Do you hear what I'm saying?

I'm so excited I can't be bothered to do any proper work today.

Why are you, yes YOU, excited? And what are you going to do about it?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:34, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

NO, PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND MY FABULOUS LINK !
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8118257.stm
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:30, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just got a text from Bert Monkeysex
It was a Michael Jackson joke.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:12, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was supposed to be going on a motherfucking boat this weekend
but the engine is broken so no more boat.

Anyone else suffered any crushing disappointment this week (by anyone other than my mother)?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:04, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Y'know if this Michael Jackson death is a big publicity stunt
That would make for one helluva comeback.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:03, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)