I just want you all to know...
...I love you.

(But not in a gay way)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:26, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ha
Move over Bono. A new annoying celebrity is claiming Africa

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8153577.stm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:19, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Captian V says the UK spends more money on mobile phone ringtones than nuclear fusion research...
It made me wonder just how much we spend on things compared to the amount spent on Crazy Frog Et Al.

Anyone have any ideas what the figures are for example Cancer/aids research to Mobile phone ringtones?
( Peej, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:15, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so much
for German efficiency:

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8153387.stm


yes, it is another link
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Far more serious than all that crap below
is the issue of what to do about the enormous size and capacity of TGB's vagina. This is a far more troubling issue than climate change or resource shortages.

We need solutions people. We need people taking ownership, and being champions.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:52, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Okay a serious point has been raised here
and I feel it's only right and proper to address it. So here goes.

Can two men talk to each other online without being filthy bumsexing homos with AIDS?

And if not, does this fact render their opinions invalid?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:25, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Deat B3ta
What's a Mouthbreater?

Edit - Actually, don't listen to me, I'm an awful penis.

Also, Africa is going to die.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:14, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You mouthbreaters have angered me.
with the growth of coal in the third world without CCS we will never stop climate change

the UK is the best place to develop it, we have offshore expertise from oil and gas, empty oil well nearby in north sea and r&d engineering expertise in world leading universities.

We need to renew energy plant NOW to avoid shortages in 2014-2015 (nukes going offline and eu large combustion plant directive switching off coal plant) and we wont fill the gap with renewables in the short period so will need new fossill fuels so without capture they will be massive pollutants.

we need flexible plant to switch on and off during peak times. renewables are intermitent and cannot be relied on for peak power.

we can create lots of jobs soon through rapid deployment, we are already maxing renewables as bottlenecks are turbine supply and planning delays.

thank you for listening.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:13, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does anoyone else think that Ed Miliband looks like a stupid cunt
regardless of the fact that he does talk a lot of shit, even if he tried to talk a reasonable argument, he would still come across as a stupid lying cunt because of his stupid lying cunt face. He looks more tory boy than tim nice but dim.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:34, 97 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Going to the doctor's soon
I need to renew my prescription for my anti-epileptic medication. Also, I need to book an appointment with the nurse for my annual bloodtest as my thyroid is packing up, so I take hormones for that. Plus I want to see if the results are back for the chest X-Ray and ECG test after I had a heart palpitation.

How shit is your health / what ailments do you suffer?

Edit: I missed out the occasional trigeminal neuralgia.

Edit: The anti-epileptic medication comprises of blue diamond pills that look like Viagra
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:26, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It does make you wonder how incompetent Yorkshire Water are
when this scheduled water main repair:
www.thisishullandeastriding.co.uk/news/Clough-Road-reopens-water-main-bursts-second-time/article-1171250-detail/article.html

couldn't have been moved forward to June when they had to repair much of the road when the 25in main burst. Even if the repair was not near the burst main, the entire road was closed for almost a week except for access, and they had the digging/road resurfacing plant on the site.

This ticks me off something rotten
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:21, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pointless things you do to amuse yourself
I've just changed Kaol's name to "Dracula" on Gtalk.

It's made me laugh far too much
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 14:02, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

glad they've cleared this up for us
www.thisisexeter.co.uk/news/Exeter-Met-Office-dispute-rain-prediction/article-1171200-detail/article.html

the met office are stupid. I might go over there and tell them so.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 13:37, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday I had a smear test and it was full of Woo!
Now they use a plastic speculum instead of a metal one and instead of scraping about for cells, they do a swab.

What advances in science or technology have pleased you lately?
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 13:18, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Seeing as it's Links O'Clock again,
This made me fucking furious.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8153168.stm

Points to anyone who works out why.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 12:44, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone fancy writing some erotic fiction?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8144793.stm

Jobs yours!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 12:27, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

to the tune of the theme from He-Man
I have the power to pick up a flower,
and shove it right up She-Ra's arse.


What childish songs do you remember from the school playground?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 11:58, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Even though McDonald's
isn't real food I'm having a massive craving! What are you craving?

Apart from sex as you are all pathetic internet freaks who are never going to get laid.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 11:45, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm off to the dentist in about 15 minutes
how are your teeth?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 11:16, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let's have a great big wobble thread.
Come on, B3ta. Wobble away. Get those lardy arses really indignant.

There may even be room for flouncing, and for slagging off other board members who aren't around. This would also be an ideal place to completely misconstrue what someone else has said! LOLZORZ!

/ym, etc.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 10:37, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Snakes on a plane!!
I was half watching this last night while playing poker and then had a crazy dream that loads of snakes were attacking everyone. Although they seemed to be people I didn't really like so it was fine.

If you could be in any film, which film and what character? Or you can talk about dreams if you like. Or you can just call Vipros a boring bearded twat
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 10:37, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmm
"Democracy is giving the lesser of two evils carte blanche for up to 5 years."
Discuss..
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 10:22, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Look everyone it's a bbc news link
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/8153140.stm

It's about a woman who was too pretty to be a prison officer, there's a picture as well.

What are you lot too pretty for?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:57, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's in your nearest bin?
Since I just put a new bag in mine and had a mini-tidyup, mine has

plastic spoon
empty carton of apple juice
no longer valid set of pizza coupons
broken keyboard
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:36, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Now then
there's an awful lot of what looks suspiciously like seriousness on here at the moment. This will not be tolerated.
I know that most of you are socially-inept, semi-retards, who have a job seperating truth from fiction, but come on, buck your ideas up. This is b3ta, bile-inducing sweetness and good-natured yet extreme nastiness can coexist here.

today's question: why don't you fuck off?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:42, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So anyway
I never had a nickname at school. Unless 'fucker' counts, I suppose.

If you had a nickname, what was it and why?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:38, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Down

(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:04, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

With

(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:04, Reply)

This

(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:03, Reply)