Just heard that Gary McKinnon has lost his appeal
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8177561.stm

Opinions?
( Peej, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 10:15, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Had a dream last night
that aliens, like the ones in the films of the same name, were on earth. But they were coming from cats, and where cat-sized and more or less cat shaped.

I had to escape through my bedroom window and climb down the outside of my house, then fight through some cat/aliens and into a friends house where we barricaded ourselves in. The only things we had to defend ourselves were a lump hammer and bolster chisel thing.

Take the head off one of the cat/aliens was quite graphic. Particularly have to chisel through the spine....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:12, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Righteous Kill *SPOILERS ALERT*
Oh my word I watched this film last night and, while my expectations were low (from the 1 or 2 reviews that I read,) I was severely disappointed.

The only good actors in it are of course Deneer and Pcheeno, the rest are average at best. Even these 2 award winning actors pull out career low performances. The story line is simply DREADFUL. Without any action you've got to depend on the strength of the plot and characters and there is simply nothing there. At times you can't hear certain dialogue because of the lousy over-loud "dramatic" music, alternatively fifty fucking pence ruins the odd scene with his inability to strong together a coherent sentence.

Finally, and here's the spoiler so lookaway now - they COMPLETELY rip off the ending from Heat, which was a spectacular film. Complete with eerie flashing lights (trains instead of planes this time). But the twist is so outstandingly obvious and contrived that by this point you don't even care and just want the film to end and/or gouge out your own, De Niros and Pacinos eyes.

One of the worst film disappointments ever - 1/10


Ahem, alternatively - what film has pissed you off lately?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:09, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When nature calls.
I'm writing a handbook for those going walking in the country for the first time. I'm writing about taking on water, and the obvious ensuing expelling of water that will follow. How do you feel about pissing outdoors? Is there an etiquette to observe? Have you ever been caught in the act?

Alternatively, are you into watersports?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 8:13, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I've spent the last few days
dry heaving and not bringing anything up. Due to my Emetophobia, I haven't puked since I was 19 - so 16 years - or even come close.
It wasn't that bad. (Well, apart from the panic attacks while I'm sat in a bathtub of cold water, fully clothed, heaving over the toilet)
Don't get me wrong, I don't think I've fully overcome the emet, but I think now I can handle it better if/when it does happen. This pleases me immensely.
I'm also proud that I actually ate today, because last time I was like this (8 years ago) I checked myself into the local loony bin for 3 days as I couldn't deal with it and ate nothing but toast or soup for 6 months. Tonight I nommed on baked chicken and veggies and some mashed potatoes.

Yeah, I think I've come a long way.

*proud smugness*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 7:00, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What do I need to do to get a mod to contact me?
Or, specifically Rob. I've had an idea for a QOTW style thing on Just Another Mobile Monday to bring the staff writers and our visitors together instead of just delivering mobile tech news, but would rather get permission to do it albeit under a different name and there's be no "best of" or anything, just funny anecdotes.
just don't want to plagarize it or anything
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 5:16, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just bought a pease pudding
I am nonplussed. What does one do with a pease pudding?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 21:45, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The key to your character?
What are your key characteristics? The aspects of your personality that never fail you and make you YOU.

I'd say I'm determined with a small side order of fluff.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 21:37, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening cunts
For anyone who remembers the stray kitten video I put up from last week, he's now being rehomed with one of the vets. We got in touch with the guy who "found him" and he let slip that he actually used to be the owner along with his girlfriend, but they split up and now the kitten needs to be rehomed because she's been put in prison and he doesn't want it. Nice huh.

So my question for you all...what should he be named? I voted Beast.

Or if you don't give a crap, if you were a type of cheese, which type would you be and why?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 21:14, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I seem to be going through a bit of a time watching house programmes
but am I the only one who is watching BBC2 and wondering what the hell this joker thinks he's doing?

No way would I give him £177,000


*edit* sorry channel 4
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 20:35, Reply)

anyone else love mini fucking sausage rolls?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 20:20, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thursday evening thread:

( Maladicta, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 19:22, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just a quick question to the blokes
Does anyone else have a weird hetro-mancrush on Dr Cox in Scrubs? Or is it just me?
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 19:07, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone good at sums?
I have this:



and I've simplified it to this



Which is more simplified than the answer given in the book. The more I look at it, I think I must've took a pretty major wrong turning somewhere.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 18:21, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wuz robbed
I've just discovered I've been plagiarized fairly blatantly (i work as a journalist). Opinions please -- should I go directly to the editor of the offending paper, or should I try dealing with the cheeky fucker who stole from me first?
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 17:50, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need to share this
but in this month's Viz, there's the deeply unpleasant phrase:

"cock like a stillborn dachshund"

It gave me hearty lulz
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 16:27, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is a slightly belated post
but a couple of months ago, at the age of 26, I actually got properly, properly drunk for the first time ever. It was great fun, the hangover wasn't too bad, and the next day I met the most lovely biggirlsblouse for the day.

The reason I am telling you all this is because the following morning I woke up on my friend's couch with what appeared to be a crude drawing of a vagina on the back of my right hand. Being right handed, I couldn't have drawn it myself. This is an open forum to anyone who wants to create scenarios which would result me drunkenly having a vagina drawn on my hand. I honest to god, to this day have no idea how it got there.

(EDIT: Sorry, forgot to mention that on my phone was a photo of said vagina on the back of my hand from the night before).
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 16:19, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If this day ever ends
I'm on holiday for a whole week. Booyah! I know you'll all miss me terribly, especially as Al is away as well.

How will you cope in this period of your sad pathetic lives?

Alternatively you can suggest alternative used for Catface. Like a novelty bookend
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:47, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it just me...?
Or do you find this really disturbing?

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/8176348.stm

I mean, who the hell would take their kids to see Harry Potter?

Seriously though, because she told them to be quiet (could have been rudely for all we know) they decided to throw a corrosive cleaning product onto her head? What the fuck?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:30, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oooooh yeah!
Guess who's just scored free VIP tickets for Sonisphere this weekend?

*smugs*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:19, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WTF?
news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=148891047
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:59, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well? Is it?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8176194.stm

I reckon it's all in the inflection and context.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:48, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

lol racism!
My sister just married a Scottish guy and my brother and friend Gary made up a game for the reception. The rules were simple. You had to make a Scottish person at the reception say "Speedboat" "Tennis" and "Murder" success meant you drank for free on the others.

No-one won but it was funny trying.
( Peej, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:43, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

A question for the boys.
If there were only two women left on the planet and they're Jordan and Kerry Katona, who would you choose?

Evil Barbie or chavtastic Kerry?
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:02, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ah Darwinism!
A beautiful thing.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/8174792.stm

"She was great with children and had started a childcare course but was not attending because of her habitual socialising."
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 13:53, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There's going to be a lot of dross on this week's Q I can tell
should be a couple of gems though. for some reason I get the feeling that CHCB will have one...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 13:14, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I WANT MY OWN MEME AND I WANT IT NOW.
GB has her cavernous vag
Kaol is a vampire
CAP V is a gnome
Vipros is smugness personified
Pyschochomp is a girl


What am I eh?
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 12:13, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you worry about your sanity?
I can't stop reading "Fuck my Life" for some light relief at work. I like it especially for the retards in the comments sections, who vomit up gems such as:
"OR SHE WAS A VAGINA PARPITY HOOHA

ahahahahahhhahahhaaahha fud"

Am I obviously spending too much time at work and losing the will to live? I actually cried with laughter, especially considering that the retard / genius who wrote it posted it repeatedly. Anyone else worry that they're losing the plot, and why do you think it?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 12:11, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What, no beckyletters?
Without her around to hypocritically explain how crap and poorly thought through my thread is, I'm alarmed about starting one. Perhaps you'd all like to complain on her behalf? In the meanwhile, who have you filled in for¹ recently?

1. I thought I'd save you all the trouble of the obvious strike-through joke
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 11:26, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do OT questions need an "alternatively"?
Surely if you don't have an answer to the main question you just won't post to that thread?

Alternatively, what's your favourite humorous t-shirt?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 10:59, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)