We've just had 07/08/09 10:11:12.
What were you doing to mark this attractive yet arbitrary milestone?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 10:15, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

it's the end of the week motherfuckers
what are your plans?

I've got a gig tonight, followed by camping and surfing on saturday and sunday.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 9:01, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok bitches
Am going to New Orleans tomorrow (actually 8 hours from this post). Can't fucking wait!
Hate fllying though! Mmmmmmm, Xanax......see ya all next week!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 5:40, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am still wondering how a quiet party for a 3 year old and few of his little mates
turned into a monster Thursday night piss up for the dads.

I also want to know which drunken twat decided that curdled Baileys went well with Tonic water..........

oh and I think I burned my BBQ down,
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 3:03, Reply)

ohmegosh ! ohmegosh ! ohmegosh ! ohmegosh ! ohmegosh ! ohmegosh ! HOLLYOAKS !
That was some good 'oakin' today.

Let's double that up with a dinner thread.

I'm having a tesco bbq chicken pizza, with some extra blue stilton and jellopinos on top.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 19:33, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know this isn't /links
but this made me laugh. Quite a lot, in fact.

uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090805/tod-saudi-businessman-orders-solid-gold-7f81b96.html

seems money CAN buy you anything...except I suspect that instead of being a waste of $400, it's simply a waste of $50,000. Poor bastard. What do you think he'll do when he realises he still has a ding instead of a dong?
(berk, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 19:08, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's OK Tescos, all's forgiven, let's just ignore yesterday.
Ohmegoodness, I managed to get a big thing of sushi, a pizza, some posh cheese, some posh onion chuckney, a big thing crisps and a few chocolate musses... and I got CHANGE from a tenner !

PLUS I only spent about 45 minuites and three basket changes, trying to work out what to have !


Oh Tesco, let's go into the back room and make-up.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:50, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As everyone in the real world knows
the average Microsoft certification is worth fuck all. Does the same apply to ITIL and PRINCE2?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:11, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A question for the geeks
I'm on a 5h flight next Friday, so I'm planning to watch some films on my laptop. The problems is that the battery life is very short (1.5h with good quality and high volume) so I want to buy an external portable battery or however it's called. I was thinking about this:

www.misco.co.uk/applications/SearchTools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=293979&sourceid=2009

as I think I would be able to use it for other devices, but to be honest, I don't even know if I can use it to charge the laptop... I'm crap with technology.

Anyone can help?

Thanks!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:53, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just ordered one of these...
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2563062/Bikini-dissolves-in-water.html

Now, me and the misses are about to go on holiday - my dilemma is, should I just exchange this with her (very similar looking) one and not tell her - or tell her about it and see if she's game?
(dchurch bah, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:32, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Unexpected Nice Thing That Totally Floored Me
Time for some sappy fluff. tis in the reply.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:16, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Someone's not here
Where's Gonz today






Edit: And then he shows up now.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Ok, that's some serious tedium there, so here is a little bit more.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:08, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Replacement passenger window for a VW Passat - How much?
Just returned from a mercy mission back home following a series of frantic calls from my wife, seccy, receptionist and my boss.

She'd managed to lock the keys in the car,

and my two boys....


and the spare key.....

Joy....

I was quite surprised at how much hammer abuse a car window will take before eventually shattering in a shower of glass shards over my 2 year old and 4 month old. They were getting very sweaty, poor little blokes

Now just got to wait to see how much the garage are going to sting me for a replacement window - can barely contain the excitement. Needless to say that it will be my fault (somehow)
(conanow, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:57, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Council's plan
What can we do at weekend? I know let's close a road so 50,000 vehicles have to find another way around Hull.

www.thisishullandeastriding.co.uk/news/Castle-Street-closure-public-safety/article-1227383-detail/article.html

It's this stretch of road that connects the North Sea ferry terminals with the M62. So you can imagine how many lorries use it.

So, what examples of utter fuckwittery has your local authority committed recently? Maybe they've decided to hold a street fair at the entrance to the Dartford Tunnel for example
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:43, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wow - A piece of internet information has
just got me out of my Orange contract!!! Stick it to you orange - nice shiney blackberry pearl a few weeks old as I changed the handset only the other day up for grabs!

I can't believe internet information was correct!
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:22, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lab now can't make Morpeth because he's fucking lame
What occurances of fucking lame (apart from JMG) have you come across recently?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 14:51, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey Liars. Internet favourite JMG is here.
Now even you all must admit that this week's question is shit, and only going to encourage the fat and the lying?

Are you not embarrassed by some of these people?
JMG FOD MOD!


/edit

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 14:09, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

almost got first on the new qotw
purely by chance.

shame. yet another qotw where I have no story...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 13:54, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shittest! Tranny! Ever! Poses!
My mobile (pics yesterday) has ruined his life... excuse late post.







( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 6 Aug 2009, 13:48, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was down town at lunchtime
and saw an impeccably dressed man, in a suit and properly knotted tie, with neat hair and everything, walking towards me. As he approached, I could hear him hawking up great gobs of phlegm from his throat, the process culminating in the launching of a huge land oyster onto the pavement.

What incongruous things have you seen today?

Alternatively, just talk about some other pish.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 13:34, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Ironic product names
My bro and I have often wondered how some products get their names and why some are clearly taking the piss. Some of our favourites are:-
The KIA 'Pride' - Have you SEEN one of these deathtraps?
The 'Golden delicious' apple - Yellow and truly awful!
The SKODA 'Rapid' - Errrm, not really.*

Do you have any others?

*I owned one of these *shames*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 13:21, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

At work, there's a woman, S, who apparently has depression.
So, that's the background sorted.
Now, people had to book their holidays for August and it was first come first served. S put in her request after everyone else had and consequently missed out. So she approached the manager, M and kicked off saying she wants two weeks off in August. Being more of a push-over than an upside down weeble, M relented and said she could have the weeks off.

The supervisors, J and L approached M with "what the fuck you playing at?" and told him that if he's going to give S 2 weeks off arbitrarily, then he has to find someone to cover for her. Not surprisingly, he couldn't and had to go back to S and tell her she can't have the time off afterall.

So she gets upset, goes to see her doctor who writes her a sicknote for 3 weeks. Afterwards, she comes into work and tells people that the anti-depressants the doctor gave her are fantastic and that she's never felt better. But then boasts that she's got another sick-note for another 2 weeks to cover the time-off that she was told she couldn't have.

Being the NHS, you have to actually stab someone before you risk getting sacked.

So, do you have a colleagues who need a good beating with a P45 tied to a brick?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 13:12, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Clendrix and No3L (in a round about way) have just inspired me to look for one of my old favourite sites
and it's back up
www.pinstruck.com/

anonymous email-based voodoo curses :-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:57, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

chickenlady may not have a question, but I do.
Express your mood in the form of a real web site.

www.imfunky.com
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:45, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I had an email in my junk folder today
No sniggering at the back.

I decided to take a look as it was from my bank - I knew it wasn't from them and clearly it was a scam, however...I was feeling nosey so I opened it up. It told me I needed to confirm all my internet banking settings - the usual stuff. I hovered my mouse over the continue button to check the URL then in another window I went to the host site...
it belongs to a magician...and the bit of his site that is the fake bank page is addressed WAGES.

How pathetically poor is that for a scam?

He must be a crap magician.

I can't be arsed to think of a question for you, just wanted to share. Make up your own question.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:18, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who the hell is going to pay for news on the Internet?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8186701.stm
( Peej, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:51, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Which magazine
perfected the art of the amusing caption on the photos? I said it was FHM a good few years back, but my mate disagrees.

I don't actually mean "Which?" magazine.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:48, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sweet titty-fucking zombie jesus h christ on a bike
I'm bored.

Getting to the point where I'm so bored I can't think and reject all suggestions on how to alleviate my boredom.

Is there anyone you really really loathe for really stupid reasons?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:26, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alphabet soup
so Subway claim that B.M.T. - a pepperoni, salami and ham sub - stands for Bigger Meatier Tastier.

That's obviously bollocks, it clearly stands for Bad Muslim Taboo.

Kindly inform me of what other acronyms REALLY stand for.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 10:36, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)