Four As.
That is all :D

Edit: Thank you very much for all the congratulations. :)
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 12:58, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You decide
Cottage or Sheppard’s pie?

Alternatively, what is the greatest ever ‘B’ side?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 11:33, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I had a real "Matrix" moment early this morning
I was dreaming that I was 18 and had to drive to school to pick up my A-Level results, I then woke up and for a couple of seconds I WAS 18 and worried about my results. Then 14 years worth of memories flooded into my mind and I remembered that I was 32 and I had to get up for work.

Then my radio alarm clock went off and the news said it was A-Level results day, I honestly didnt know that it was. The strange thing was that I felt relief at not being 18 again.

Would you want to be 18 again?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 11:32, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What is this Wii game?
Hi all,

I've been googling for ages and watching adverts on TV (which is rare for me, I usually channel hop for the whole time) searching for a game I caught advertised last night for the Wii.

Can't remember the name, but the advert had girls and boys looking very scared whilst playing it. My misses said "oooh...we'll have to get that", so I was going to pop out today and buy it, or at least order it online as a surprise for her, but I just can't remember anything about it!

Help!!
(dchurch bah, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 11:11, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just posted this on /links
I've been sent details of an anthology of Hint fiction (that's 25 words or less) that's doing a call for submissions. They'll pay $25 for successful stories.

Take a look here: www.robertswartwood.com/?page_id=8


If you don't fancy entering why not have a go at a story in under 25 words in this thread.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 9:16, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning oh moons of my delight
(and Kaol)

how are we all today?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 8:40, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm quite drunk
That is all.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 23:01, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Been listening to Radio 5 live
and there is quite a controversy regarding the winner of the womans 800 metres final, in that they cannot be 100% sure that the winner is actually a female at all! she might be a little bit man, but must have a few female bits to have got this far surely?

news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/athletics/8210471.stm

This brings one very pertinent question to mind...Have we just found the perfect life partner for Big girls blouse?

runs off before I get decked!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 22:35, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all!


I can't think of a question :(
( Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 20:01, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm psyching myself up to quit my job tomorrow
Any words of encouragement for me? Anyone done anything similar recently? How did it go!?


Alternatively what's your favourite way of humiliating the opposite sex?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 19:29, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I see no Vipros in this list
www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/article1772233.ece
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 17:26, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Kids. Tsk.
I spent about half an hour last night convincing my (two) overly excited nieces and (one) nephew (ages from 2 thur 5) that if they didn’t stop misbehaving, they’d get no Christmas gifts this year, by pointing to the sensors for the burglar alarm and telling them that every time it flashed ‘red’ Santa was watching them.

That’ll be me sitting down and watching Sky Sport News whilst 3 unruly kids are playing silently together.

That makes me brilliant.

Who do you think will win the Prem/SPL/Championship and leagues one and two?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:46, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

BGB's thread has reminded me of a favourite story told by brother about a mate of his
he had spied an attractive lady drinking alone at the bar he was in (it was a swanky place, he's a london lawyer type).

He got talking to this woman and it transpired that she was recently divorced. He says to her "Divorced eh? What do you do for dick?"

Her response: "I get by"

Any stories you'd like to share?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:31, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Due to a overiding dissappointment with the male population as a whole, I am considering going back to romancing the lovely ladies.



What I need from my fellow B3tans is a list of pros and cons to lesbianism to consider before making the jump.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 13:54, 287 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*sings*
Ribs for dinner, Rib's for dinner, it won't make me thinner, but I have rib's for dinner.

What's new in the land of OffTopic?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 13:27, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Those wacky Inuktitut
ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090818/national/harper_iqaluit_gaffe


The release repeatedly spelled the capital of Nunavut as Iqualuit - rather than Iqaluit, which means "many fish" in the Inuktitut language.

The extra "u" makes a big difference.

"It means people with unwiped bums," said Sandra Inutiq of the office of the Languages Commissioner of Nunavut.


Have you made any unfortunate typos recently?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 12:59, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Tell me how
when I have literally no money until I next get paid, which is in 16 days' time, I can survive on what's in my cupboard and go to Paris?
( Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 12:26, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm having a cup of tea and eating some amazing lemon drizzle cake that my gf made
there's not much nicer than tea and cake
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 10:53, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm in a bad mood today.
I'm slightly hung over, busy at work and feeling down.

Where's Al? The annoying gimp could always make me laugh.

Feel free to tell me to MTFU or to cheer me up.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 10:53, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'morning
The Crow
says "Hello!
How does it go?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 9:49, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Any of you
Heading towards the V Festival this weekend?

No? Well maybe you'd like to give me an idea as to your favourite word to describe the opposite sex

Flange.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 9:33, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Consultancy
I've been approached regarding some consultancy work (Excel VBA programming) however I'm not all that sure of how this kind of thing typically works. I've had a look about to get a feel for what the going rate is for the sort of work I'll be doing but what about things like contract terms, travelling expenses, deadlines (and overrunning them), giving estimates and agreeing specifications for the work?

Alternatively, what's your favourite time of day to shag? No points for shag o'clock.
( Captain V, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 9:17, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning you wheezing blobs
Yesterday I had low-sugar, low-salt beans on wholemeal toast for breakfast, a ham and cheese salad sandwich for lunch, swam 20 lengths and had a yoghurt and an apple for tea. It was my healthiest day since records began.

What was your last seriously healthy day?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 8:15, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today I will mostly be looking at my spunk through a microscope made from a jam jar.
What will you be doing today?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 8:08, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You can buy prints from the Ladybird books
www.ladybirdprints.com/index.php

And not too badly priced.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 18 Aug 2009, 22:33, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There is a man on the TV
who is looking at his own spunk under a microscope made of a jam jar.

WTF This is BBC4 FFS
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 18 Aug 2009, 20:24, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HSH


What, and who, are the worst things that you could wake up with in your bed, after a night of which you have no memory?
( Maladicta, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 20:08, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right you lot...
I'm a bloody idiot!
I went to turn up for my 3rd driving test today and completely forgot my counterpart to my licence! Epic fail.

So, I failed the first time due to stalling it twice (nerves).
Failed the second time for going 32 in a 30. (d'oh).

How (was/were) your driving test(s), did you get failed for a stupid reason? Were the examiners cunts? Make me feel better b3ta :(
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 20:01, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My wifes Ex boyfriend and possessor of her V-plates has just become my brother in law
The first to work out how CCTFP.

If they come to the Cornwall Bash I will personally deliver TFP
( Peej, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 19:47, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)