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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Due to a overiding dissappointment with the male population as a whole, I am considering going back to romancing the lovely ladies.



What I need from my fellow B3tans is a list of pros and cons to lesbianism to consider before making the jump.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 13:54, 287 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
pros: women are soft and smooth and attractive, men are none of these things
cons: women are all crazy, illogical, irrational bitches
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 13:56, Reply)
Thank you for that well thought out and intellectually constructed post Vipros.
You are of course quite correct.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 13:58, Reply)
telling it like it is
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 13:59, Reply)
I agree with vipros
All men are selfish immature bastards and all women are crazy irrational bitches. It's just how it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:36, Reply)
Women would be generally expected
to have a better idea of how your ladybits would best like to be treated.

But, sometimes you just want some cock.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:03, Reply)
Hmm
Both of these are sadly true. althegeordie knows what he's talking about.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 18:53, Reply)
I'm considering following suit.
Pros: Men are wankers. Women never leave the toilet seat up. Women know what other women want, and are in general, better kissers.

Cons: There'd be two weeks a month when there could be no sexy time.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:04, Reply)
This is true
most men are happy to get down and dirty when Arsenal are playing at home, but I can imagine women being a bit more squeemish.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:06, Reply)
There can always be sexieh time on the mini pill.
No periods FTW!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:07, Reply)
In that case,
THERE ARE NO CONS
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:09, Reply)
The biggest con will be
if you need some DIY doing, or a spider taking out of the bathroom.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I like spiders,
But isn't that what butch lesbians are for?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Or parking done?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:14, Reply)
I has DIY competent dad and plastic spider catcher.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:14, Reply)
But you have all these seperate
things when a man does all of them in one handy package that also has cock.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)
No more cock is a small price to pay for a reliable partner.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:21, Reply)
Ummmm
all we have to do is buy something from blowfish for teh cock.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 18:55, Reply)
you know why men don't know what women want?
because women never tell us, they expect us to figure it out from cryptic clues, or silence.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)
This is not about men and women.
It's about women and women.


Pay attention.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)
I was making a comment on something applebite said
:-P
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)
Well you never just come out and ask.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)
asking would be the worst thing you could do
better to guess and have a chance of getting it right than to ask and be derided as insensitive, uncaring and emotionally unavailable.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:39, Reply)
pros: massive generalisations
cons: massive generalisations
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:06, Reply)
Mmmmm nice massive generalistations
How's your shoulder?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:06, Reply)
fractured and painful

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:07, Reply)
also my chest is going yellow from internal bleeding
yay
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)
Heheheh
How did you damage yourself?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)
Too much wanking.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)
that doesn't sound very good at all

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)
it's just the blood settleing,
nothing to worry about.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)
glad to hear it
still not nice.

did they give you any opiates?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)
nah codine
it's an analgesic (sp)
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)
hehe anal

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)
Serious question,
Are you a little spaced out?
As lame as it sounds, you seem "off", typing-wise.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)
yep, and I'm typing one handed
(lol)
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:14, Reply)
Well, as much as I love taking the piss,
I hope you fix up ok soon.
How did you manage to do it?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:16, Reply)
saving a kitten from a tree

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Like fuck you did.
I reckon you were mugged. By a crackhead.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)

crackhead 12 year old girl
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:19, Reply)

mugged looked at funny
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:20, Reply)
That's a fancy way of him saying
"I've got a big bruise"
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)
It must be hard being so consistantly boring.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)
If it wasn't for my pescription cocodamol,
that would really have hurt.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)
I love Cocodamol.
Best of all the painkillers.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)
No wanking?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)
If you don't want me to make massive, (true) generalisations
Get my (soon to be ex) boyfriend to ring me so I can have the satisfaction of breaking up with him not over voicemail.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)
you could give me his number and I could have a hilarious conversation with him.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:09, Reply)
This is tempting.
but I want him suitably punished, not bored to death.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)
send him on a date with bgb

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:12, Reply)
You made me laugh for the first time.
Go you!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)
That's been outlawed under the Geneva Convention.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:14, Reply)
Ahah!
That's why I can't get a date then.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:16, Reply)
she said not
not and

if you see what I mean
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:15, Reply)
yeah
I should have worked that into my original reply.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:15, Reply)
You really aren't your usual self, are you?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:17, Reply)
nope
now it's home time.
good luck with your breakup.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)
Thanks.
I'm looking forward to it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:20, Reply)
all women are evil

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:21, Reply)
All men are cunts.
So I guess we're even.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:24, Reply)
we'll let it slide
FOR NOW
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)
This gets my vote.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)
Ignore pyschochomp.
He's always like this.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)
Pro: Minge.
Con: Disco minge.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:08, Reply)
this is the best argument for and against that could exist

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:11, Reply)

Pros: Pillow fights, practicing kissing, video camera + stardom, jelly wrestling that ends in a snog.
Cons: A little bit of cock can be great.

Sollution: Threesomes, that way you get both.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:10, Reply)
A little bit of cock
is all my better half ever gets.

:(
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:13, Reply)
as far as you know
*struts*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:14, Reply)
DiT's Mrs
gets a bit more than he thinks too.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:17, Reply)
*high fives*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:18, Reply)
Has the internet dating thing not worked?
but the adverts promise everything (including the moon on a stick) or your money back.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:15, Reply)
The men my age all want younger women and are boring bastards.
I do have a possibility but we've not yet met up.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:19, Reply)
What a let down
oh well, relationships are rubbish anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:22, Reply)
TRUEFACT

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:23, Reply)
Dammit
I do some work and miss this amazingly wonderful thread. Is there a secret bit of b3ta where you all hang out and talk disparagingly about me too?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:22, Reply)
yes
but it's not secret.

and you suck
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:23, Reply)
I'll get you next time Vipros
next time

*whistles inspector gadget theme tune*
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:30, Reply)
Yes.
Just mention lesbianism or sex and they all come out of the woodwork.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:23, Reply)
aaaah
I'm noticing a pattern
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:29, Reply)
Have you been there before?
I wouldn't go there again, but maybe the things I disliked about it would be the things you might like.
Anything I say is going to sound like a generalisation.
And let's face it, I dwelled in Lesbania long enough to say it can't all have been bad.
I think if you go from straight to lezza, you might find women a bit 'intense' in the emotional stakes.
And you will really miss cock. Real cock.
No offense to any lesb3tans.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:23, Reply)
Yes I've been there before and did find the emotional thing too intense.
Yes I will miss cock but I gave up ciggies because they were bad for me so I can give up cock for the same reason.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:27, Reply)
Fair point!
It won't be the first time cigarettes have been compared to cock.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:28, Reply)
I contemplated it once
I met a fantastic woman who was a lady gay and I wondered if a could change to batting from the pavilion end.
However I decided I wanted cock and babies.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:25, Reply)
Vigorous clam jousting can lead external redness

but, like bum sex, no babies,
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:27, Reply)
If you get sore then you're doing it wrong.
And I don't want babies.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:29, Reply)
Lesbo sex can never be wrong

ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:31, Reply)
it can if they are both really ugly.
and they are doing it in front of you.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:32, Reply)
Ewww
There was a very cute pair of short lesbians at Kaols gig last saturday.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:34, Reply)
The blonde one
Was my lab-partner for three years.
She wasn't always a lesbian.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:36, Reply)
She wasn't always your lab partner either
I'm seeing a connection here. BGB! BGB! Mellicious is bound to turn into a lezza soon!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:37, Reply)
:(
This is terrible news.
You awful penis.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:39, Reply)
Sorry buddy
just telling it like it is. Shame really, you two look good together. But I'm sure she'll look just as good with BGB.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:40, Reply)
So... Maybe I should re-think moving to Wales?
HANG ON!
I SEE YOUR GAME ALAN-THE-FAKE-GEORDIE!
You want me to stay near London so you can have me for YOURSELF :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:42, Reply)
Dammit, you saw through my wicked plan.
*curses*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:44, Reply)
Your forgetting the fact she's far too young for me.
Sorry Kaol but she'd make a lovely lesbian.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:43, Reply)
I went to a gig once
and there were a couple of lesbians devouring each other directly in front of me. Normally this would be cause for celebration, but I kid you not, these were some of the ugliest people I have ever seen in my life.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:42, Reply)
Are you sure
That one of them wasn't an ugly, effeminate man?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:43, Reply)
certain
there was nothing effeminate about either of them, and yet they were definitely female
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:47, Reply)

in front of on
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:35, Reply)
It can in those shitty porn films
where they think rolling their eyes whilst touching tongues and aligning their nipples counts as sex...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:33, Reply)
I touch my tongue
and align my nipples on the train all the time. And i've never been done for public sex yet.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:35, Reply)
The thing is BGB is it something you can just decide to do?
I have long held the opinion that it is rather churlish to discount 50% of the population just because on the bits and parts they may or may not have. However I have thought that I could drink from the furry cup if I met the right lady.
Would it not be a plan to meet the right person and then decide which alter you kneel at?
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:33, Reply)
True but good men are hard to find.
Finding a good women would be much easier.

They will not be put off by my lack of demands and craziness, and my willingness to make them happy.

God knows, men seem to be.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:38, Reply)
Eventually someone will find a "cure" for the gays
and then I will be able to start work on the marketing strategy for "LEZ-B-GONE".
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:33, Reply)
will you miss
teh spunk?

is there a synthetic lesbian alternative?
or can 'squirting' be taught?

and while i'm here, just what is it that a woman 'squirts' out of their fannies anyway?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:36, Reply)
Babies.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:36, Reply)
well,
last night i saw some german lady squirt some very watery looking babies out of her fanny onto a glass coffee table

she looked pretty pleased as did what i can only assume was the midwife, who helped the babies out with her tongue and a dildo.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:43, Reply)
Ah, LBS.
Liquid Baby Syndrome.
One in every 692 babies suddenly becomes liquid upon contact with the air. Rather distressing for the family.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:47, Reply)
How terrible!
Is there a charity for such things?
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:47, Reply)
I'm sure Al would like to donate...............something.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:52, Reply)
Yes.
All Cheques payable to:
Kaol Black LBS Fund.
Essex.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:54, Reply)
Pros: no chance of pregnancy, no stubble rash, reduced risk of STD's
Cons: No cock, both partners being equally paranoid about the size of their respective arses, no cock, at least a week each month where there can be no sexy tiem, women are irrational and scary.
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:37, Reply)
This week of no sext time keeps getting raised as a con
but it's either true of hetero relationships or it's true of neither homo or hetero relationships. Being menstrual can make some laydeez super horn machines.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:39, Reply)
Myself included
but the mess outweighs the desire for sexy tiem, surely? I'm not sure I could handle letting anyone near my ladygarden when Arsenal are playing...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:40, Reply)
It's not significantly more messy than many other things.
As long as you have a wash afterwards it's no biggie.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:46, Reply)
I have had it suggested to me
that such activity should take place in the shower, for a minimum of mess, which sounds fun to me!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:47, Reply)
Just look at it as extra lube.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:47, Reply)
Can't smell worse than KY...
silicon based FTW
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:48, Reply)
this is true

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:40, Reply)
they would probably align periods

then once a month join togther like some sort of evil power rangers zoid-zilla
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:47, Reply)
This completely can happen.
Women who spend a lot of time together can synch. I remember when Stalker Girl came off the pill and synched with me; she thought it was the best thing ever... o_O
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:49, Reply)
stubble rash can be an issue
depending on the grooming habits of the lady in question
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Obviously, this would need to be investigated and rectified
prior to sexy tiem; I've had it so badly in the past it's come up like a blister on my top lip...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:42, Reply)
nasty
don't get that with a nice soft beard
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:43, Reply)
This is true :)
I am a recent convert to the beard.
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:45, Reply)
it's happening
one at a time
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:48, Reply)
It's a slow process, I must admit.
The fact what is attached to the beard is also lovely was a big help.
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:49, Reply)
this is a good point
and one worth remembering
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:54, Reply)
If I ever forget it
I'll cunt myself in the fuck. Especially as we're going to Paris next week.
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:57, Reply)
Which lip?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:44, Reply)
Left one
She lies on her right side.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:45, Reply)
Sounds about right

(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:46, Reply)
Plus
You can still use dildos with a female partner (at the risk of exciting the "well what's the difference?" debate) thus getting cock and boobs at the same time without necessarily dating a Trans type. An extra pro (possibly a sub-pro) is that generally speaking, most real cocks don’t vibrate.

*sits back and waits for MINE DOES from Vipros/Al/other*

I don't miss cock at all. But then despite relatively extensive experience with it, I never identified as exclusively heterosexual, ever.

Oh, and...BOOBS. Nuff said. Luvverly things.
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:48, Reply)
Oh yes!
Loverly boobies.


*GLEES*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:50, Reply)
boobs are fantastic
but I have my own!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:50, Reply)
Two sets of boobies are better than one.
Major pro.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:53, Reply)
Not when it comes to
Buying normal clothes.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:55, Reply)
I've always wondered
If female werewolves would have the whole set of six nipples when they transformed, or just the two.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:57, Reply)
They have six.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:57, Reply)
VAMPIRE FACTS!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:00, Reply)
No, WEREWOLF.
Pay attention.
I did notice though in Van Helsing that the brides of Dracula had no nipples when they transformed.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:03, Reply)
Are you due some results on thursday?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:05, Reply)
I am.
A levels, baby!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:06, Reply)
I hope they go well
Are you having a massive piss up the night before?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:08, Reply)
Thank you.
What, tonight?
No, just tomorrow night. Me and my friends have been having massive piss ups every night for the past week and have to get up early tomorrow for results, so we're giving tonight a miss.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:11, Reply)
I made a point of being horrifically hungover
when I collected any exam results. In fact, if it was possible I tried to be drunk.

I remember treking about 4 miles across brighton to get my A-Level results, I was a deathly pale colour and they wouldn't give me the results at first as they said I had a library fine outstanding, then after that got sorted they couldn't find the results of two of my exams. I was shaking by the time I actually got the bloody results.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:14, Reply)
Was it worth it?
I'm trying not to stress out, because its not like I can do anything about it now.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:17, Reply)
You going to uni?
If so, make sure your mobile is fully-charged, fully credited and all that fancyness.
Clearing waits for nobody.
I hope you'll be fine, but just warning you :P
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)
Ah, good point though.
I shall put the number in my phone. Hopefully, I'll be off to Manchester.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:22, Reply)
Best Uni in the world

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:29, Reply)
Oh yeah, it was definitely worth it.
If only to see the look on my mums face when I got into the car looking physically ill and then pretended to start to cry before breaking the good news that despite her insistence that I hadn't done enough work I had done rather well.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)
Hahaha
That is so cruel yet so brilliant!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:22, Reply)
I needed "A,A,B".
Opened the results, found I had "C,E,E".
The sweetest moment was when I saw the headmaster wandering over.
"I see you didn't get the grades then. I hate to say it, but I said you should've worked harder."

His face when I told him that I'd got accepted anyway, because of my "obvious enthusiasm for the subject" was priceless :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:26, Reply)
Ahahaha!
That's beautiful.
I need AAB too, but Manchester are very strict about dropping grades. I hoping if I drop just one, they'll take me anyway because after my interview, the head of the faculty wrote to me on behalf of the head of microbiology, who interviewed me, saying how impressed they were with my enthusiasm and how much they hoped I'd pick them.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:32, Reply)
You can go and meet Enzyme while you're there

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:33, Reply)
Don't be so cruel, Al.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:35, Reply)
Pfffft
He's a lovely man and I won't hear a word against him.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:36, Reply)
I've met him once,
And that was the time I was sick on myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:37, Reply)
What a first impression.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:40, Reply)
What a cunt
He may not have liked you, but to say something like that is really out of order.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:33, Reply)
Yeah.
He was a prick.
And my "not working hard enough" was down to rubbish being-mental reasons.
It's ok though. At least I don't look like a perfect replica of Gerry Adams.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:35, Reply)
some teachers really are cunts
I had a similar gerry adams look alike criticising me because I missed a GCSE exam. He said "I see you've managed to turn up for this one then" with a sneer. Surprisingly didn't react to me telling him to fuck off
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:40, Reply)
You're the same age as my brother.
Weird.
That reminds me, I need to prepare for being mocked tomorrow. Stupid freak-genius :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:09, Reply)
Strange.
Is he a vampire too? What did he take?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:12, Reply)
I'm not a vampire.
He isn't either.
He's one of those disgusting people who are clever, good at sports and all that shit.
*shakes fist*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:13, Reply)
Oh, and he took...
Er... Art, Business Studies, Design Tech and... Er... Maybe that's it.
Or Economics. Something like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:14, Reply)
Don't you just hate people like that?
Yeesh, sounds like lots of hard work. I like subjects that require minimal writing. Hence Chemistry, Biology and Maths.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:16, Reply)
Yeah.
And he's smugger than Vipros.
And he's TALLER THAN ME :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)
I know the feeling!
My 15 year old sister is five foot ten and STILL GROWING.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)
My brother's
Six foot SIX!
Yeah, and still growing :\
Younger siblings shouldn't be allowed to grow taller than older ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)
they should
it's of vital national importance that I am taller than both of my older brothers.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:24, Reply)
Oh dear lord.
Is he good looking as well, just to add insult to injury?
This is true. They should be at least an inch shorter at all times.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:29, Reply)
*nods*
I think he's asexual though, which is rather amusing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:38, Reply)
Really?
I've never met someone actually asexual before.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:43, Reply)
He just seems to have no interest in girls, well, or boys
Which for an 18-year-old boy is a bit odd.
Or maybe he's shy.
I got no idea. We're not that close.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:51, Reply)
my best mate was kind of like that
I suspected he was gay for a while, but then he met the right girl and BAM, she acts like a twat and gets him to move away from all his mates.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:57, Reply)
That is a bit odd.
I'd go with shy though. Send him my way.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:10, Reply)
surely none of those things are possible!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)
proper subjects
good work
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)
Yeah!
None of this applied shit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:28, Reply)
Results time?
Oh no :( really hope you do well - I hated that feeling!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:34, Reply)
Yeah, tomorrow morning.
Thanks :)
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:41, Reply)
Vampire facts?
They have two.
Or so I hear.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:04, Reply)
I can believe that
since I did see a biologically accurate diagram of this on 4chan some time ago...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:01, Reply)
And there's no reason you can't play with your own
when no one's looking :)
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:53, Reply)
This is surely an excellent opportunity to drop in the pictures rule.
There haven't been enough breasts on this board for some time.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:54, Reply)
Katy Perry's boobs
would definitely tempt me back to the lady side.
I think they're my favourites, apart from my own. (Well your own should always be your favourites.)
I once read her nipples described as being 'like kittens' paws'.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:57, Reply)
Tough and leathery?
and divided into four or five sections?

WTF?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:57, Reply)
With tiny, razor sharp claws?

(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:58, Reply)
with retracting claws

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:58, Reply)
MINDPISS

(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Noooooo!
Just one of the pads, pale and pinky!!
I think it's a lovely description. They're my fave kind of nipples. They stick out like footy studs, but they're small and pale pink.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:00, Reply)
I made the mistake of asking
My girlfriend what happens if you touch the pad bit on a cat's foot.
"Oh, nothing."
"Ah..." I thought.
*poke*
Then I got sliced, and bled a fair bit.
Cat's don't like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:03, Reply)
Some cats like you to squidge the tip of your finger in the furry bit between the pads.
But some cats hate it and retaliate violently.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:04, Reply)
Like this?

(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:06, Reply)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
*falls over from fluff overload*
I have a pic of ma cat holdin ma finga lak dat.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:07, Reply)
It's not my photo, sadly.
I googled "cats paw and finger" since I mislaid the one I used to have that my ex sent me...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:10, Reply)
Link it next time,
Or I'll get in a mood.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:11, Reply)
Sowwy :(

(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:24, Reply)
You will be.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:27, Reply)
*meep*

(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:37, Reply)
I'm not very good with cats.
I'll stick with my rats.
They don't mind what bit of 'em you poke.
Even the balls. Trufax.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:06, Reply)
Rats are lovely.
The way they wash their little faces... don't understand why people don't like them!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:38, Reply)
Yeah.
We've got two. My one steals things. Stupid things that it can't do anything with. Like pennies. *rolls eyes*
And then it makes you trade them with it for bits of food.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:39, Reply)
I had a boyfriend with a rat
I was jealous because it was like my hamster but more willing to cuddle.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:50, Reply)
Rats are awesome,
Best of all the mammal-pets.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:55, Reply)
That said,
I'd love a pet bear.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:55, Reply)
so it is using money for its proper purpose
sounds pretty clever to me
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:58, Reply)
You see it SOUNDS clever.
But the same rat nearly choked to death trying to carry too many peanuts in it's greedy mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:04, Reply)
c'mon
we've all done that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:08, Reply)
...

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:10, Reply)
*guffaws*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:12, Reply)
No. No they do not.
I think there's only about 5% of a cat that you can feasibly touch without it going for you, and that's its ears.
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:04, Reply)
I disagree with this. Online
I have owned a number of cats and several of them liked have their paws tickled.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:06, Reply)
I have owned a bad-tempered cat
who would go for you if you petted her anywhere she didn't like. And this changed daily. Sometimes twice, if she was feeling especially mean...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:08, Reply)
You're forgetting the 'chin-piece' and the whisker holes
Stroking the whisker holes makes them pull a silly face like Mowgli when he sees a girl.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:07, Reply)
The chin-piece is nice too
because you can feel the purr through it!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:09, Reply)
Can I just share the fact that I regularly utter the request
"Come 'ere and giz your chin-piece, small-face!"
to my cat.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:12, Reply)
That's awesome.
My mother regularly uses "pussy" completely unironically when talking to her visiting cats, and I have to be restrained from having full-on hysterics...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:24, Reply)
What you don't realise,
Is that when you're not there, she has sex with them :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:29, Reply)
Well, if it's that or have sex with my father
I don't blame her!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:33, Reply)
Butternut squashes
Marrows
Hairbrushes
Door Knobs
Mobile phones
Squash balls
Fists
Marker pens
Table legs
people with very small heads

the list of cock substitutes is endless.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:53, Reply)
And according to two of my friends:
Plastic swords and electric toothbrushes.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:55, Reply)
Would you use the spinny bit of the toothbrush
or turn it around and use the plastic bit which just buzzes?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:58, Reply)
Electric toothbrushes aren't all that great really.
The friction isn't so good :( and pretty spiky!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:00, Reply)
I've never really asked her.
I spotted an advert for the worlds first vibrating mascara brush and took a picture to show her. She thought it was brilliant.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:00, Reply)
couch arms
if the material is sufficiently friction-worthy.

Got to be careful of static shocks though.

unless, y'know, you like that sort of thing

[/non-judgemental]
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:58, Reply)
Your sofa must smell really odd

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:58, Reply)
Don't rest your tea on the arm

it'll slip right off
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:00, Reply)
Oh, hello
I appear to have stumbled upon a lengthy thread. About lesbinism no less.

My own viewpoint: Doesn't matter which bus you ride on, as long as you don't leave chewing gum on the seats it's all cool by me.

The missus says hello, btw. No pooter access at home just now as the monitor is borked and we're waiting for a new one to be delivered tomorrow.

Do carry on.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Hello DG!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:04, Reply)
O hai!
Sucks about your monitor. How are things?
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:05, Reply)
Not bad, ta.
Ther monitor things a pisser; it just won't switch on at all and we've only had the bastard just under two years after the last one went for a burton.

Ah wells. Work nice and busy though, hence my lack of daytime timewasting of late :/
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:08, Reply)
That's pretty crap really.
And they always do it when they're just out of warranty...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:32, Reply)
Warranty Schmawwanty
Things must last "a reasonable period of time" If you pay a few hundred quid for a monitor, lasting more than two years is perfectly reasonable.

If you only paid twenty quid then you've less of a leg to stand on.

But otherwise you can argue the case and demand it gets repaired.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:35, Reply)
I would have rung them and had a bit of a shitfit.
If this PC cops it in anything under five years, Dell will get the length of my tongue...
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:37, Reply)
Hmm
I can't find the receipt though, so have just had to bite the bullet on this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:39, Reply)
Did you pay by credit or debit card?
That's a valid form of proof of purchase. They are not obliged to give you a receipt and therefore they cannot insist upon seeing one. I have used this to my advantage twice. I now keep receipts though as it's much easier than arguing the toss with some numpty who hasn't just read up on their statutory rights.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:43, Reply)
Credit card, I think.
Can't remember.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:15, Reply)
I read that as "no poofter access at home"
I thought "Way to use the old-school homophobic insults on a lesbianism thread, DG!"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:05, Reply)
I did the same thing
but I thought, awww, he's just northern, he can't help it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:07, Reply)
I pictured Edward from the League of Gentlemen
saying "Poofter, eh? Met your sort in the forces..."
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:09, Reply)
Doesn't Flasheart say something similar in Blackadder Goes Forth?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:11, Reply)
Not sure
All I remember is "Woof!" and "Last time I called someone darling she was pregnant 20 seconds later!"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:15, Reply)
I've got a plan
and it's as HOT as my PANTS!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:25, Reply)
Haha!
*goes to look for more Flashie quotes*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:28, Reply)
Nursie!
I like it firm and fruity!
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:31, Reply)
She's got a tongue like an electric eel
and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:40, Reply)
Am I pleased to see you
or did I just put a CANOE in my pocket?
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:41, Reply)
You're just as northern as me Al
except you've had it gradually eroded out of your psyche through persistent southern living.

*hums 'Local Hero' and gets nostalgic for the premiership*
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:15, Reply)
Are you coping alright with watching Championship football
with no real manager and fewer good players?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)
Surprisingly
We've played better in two games than we did all last season! Not sure we'll get a repeat tonight of the 8-0 thrashing we dealt to Sheffield Wednesday a few years back, but I'm heartned by the start we've had so far :)

I just wish Mike Cashley would fuck off, the useless tub of lard.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:22, Reply)
Ah, but do you eat lard butties?
I eat lard butties.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)
Oh god, no
I'm fairly refined for a northerner, dontchaknow. Ask al. I wear coats and everything and don't have a beard full of pastie crumbs.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:24, Reply)
Your definitely a classy bloke : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:30, Reply)
Girl

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:30, Reply)
I will freely admit
that I am in touch with my feminine side :) I've even been known to buy tampons for the missus when she's up on blocks and unable to move because of the hideous cramps.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:35, Reply)
Well done
Some men won't even by neurofen just in case someone thinks they're on the blob.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:52, Reply)
seems ridiculous
I'll happily buy sanitary towels etc.

they're clearly not for me, so why get embarrassed?

it's like buying condoms. never saw any reason for embarrassment. just says to the world "yes, I'm getting some!"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:03, Reply)
Not if you're buying
Phallic root-veg at the same time.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:05, Reply)
or a bottle of ketchup I suppose

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:07, Reply)
Like this?
b3ta.com/questions/schoolprojects/post502309
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:10, Reply)
precisely

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:12, Reply)
I think all women are dirty, smelly whores and strumpets.
Should I start knifing them while in a hate-filled frenzy, and then cutting out their putrid wombs?
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)
Dear BGB
If you're ever stuck for stimulation, please be aware that you have a standing offer of extended cunnilingus from me, until you're satisfied or I suffocate, whichever comes first.

Not really relevant to the conversation but I thought I'd let you know.
(ragged, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:24, Reply)
That's very kind of you.
Who said this country doesn't care about the old. *laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:29, Reply)
Some people in America says we don't care about the old
QUICK!!! DEATH PANELS PANIC!!!!!!
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:38, Reply)
I started to read all of this thread
and then couldn't be arsed.

The way I see it there's only one drawback to becoming a lesbian - they'll nick your shoes.


Stick with the cock.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:38, Reply)
That's the best argument for not switching sides I've seen yet.
Short and to the point.
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:40, Reply)
I've been watching Gavin and Stacey the last few nights.
Nessa is my hero.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:41, Reply)
I'm put off this
by the fact I've spent far too much of my life in Barry; it's where my family live. It's a shithole.
(I helped save b3ta! Maladicta, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:52, Reply)
I'm put off it by it not being in the least bit funny

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:57, Reply)
This from a women who has her own power tools and knows how to use them : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:41, Reply)
My point exactly - men aren't needed for DIY
but they will stay away from my shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:43, Reply)
As far as you are aware.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:44, Reply)
how many men with size 12 or 13 feet can wear womens size 7 shoes?
(it hurts too much, plus we can't get used to the heels)
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 11:58, Reply)
I never stole my ex's shoes
But then she had size 4 and a half feet and I'm a clomping size 7.

Besides, they were too girly and I'm a trainers or new rocks kind of lass. Not girly in the least.
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:45, Reply)
Do Timpsons re-heel New Rocks?
The rubber bit of the heels have worn away on mine and I'm not sending the buggers to Spain.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:53, Reply)
Oooh, not sure
Mine are relatively new and so still shiny and together, and stuff.

They don't repair bust zips, I know that, so avoid breaking the zips at all costs unless the alternative is fiery death.
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:57, Reply)
When you buy New Rocks
they say "The only problem is that they'll never wear out".
Yeah, apart from the shitty rubber soles!!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 15:59, Reply)
If you bought sensible shoes then you wouldn't have this problem : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:00, Reply)
I thought I was buying sensible shoes!
They appeared to be the safest, warmest, most indestructible bastards ever! And to be fair they kept me safe and warm in places like Poland and Latvia in the dead of winter. But now the rubber is going on the heel and they're getting a bit slippy.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:03, Reply)
Aaaah well you see
my soles are made of solid steel. Yup.

Besides, who was it who said, "It's not lesbians; it's 'women in comfortable shoes'"?

I wear comfortable shoes. They kept me standing for 18 solid hours during a new year's eve trip to Eurodisney. Freakin awesome.
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:19, Reply)
Robin Williams.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:44, Reply)
It was...
Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam.
Over the last few years I've been wearing slightly less comfortable shoes. It's a lovely feeling when you take them off.

EDIT:
That'll learn me for going away and not refreshing!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 16:49, Reply)
Not sure that I should be answering, but...
Pros:

-you've done it before, so there are no surprises.
-men are shit, especially me.
-if she asks you to sport a particular look, you can tell her "You first."

Cons:

...well, most of those have been listed above, and I can't think of anything new to add to them.
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 19:14, Reply)
Oh I see
HSH threads are dead but one mention of Lady Gays and a thread gets nigh on 300 replies.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 19 Aug 2009, 23:56, Reply)
INTERESTING AND EVOCATIVE SUBJECTS FTW!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 6:25, Reply)

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