Independent publishing
Does anyone here know if it's possible in publish a book independently of an established publisher?

I'm just wondering if it's possible. Otherwise I'm looking for advice on finding a publisher.

FYI, non-fiction, travel, possibly involving charity.

Advice please, lovely QOTWers!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 16:23, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just read this on sickipedia....
And it's made me giggle a little...

Once upon a midnight dreary,
while i porn surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'.

While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

On second though, not that great, but still made me smile!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 16:08, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Deleted post
Hello folks,

I deleted my post as ranting on the internet is a bit silly despite what I think about the subject matter.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 15:58, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why is it...
that I can vote for my own stories on QOTW?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 15:23, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Been watching Mock the Week again....it's game time.
Bad things to say when mediating a Christian/Muslim conference.
(GONEism, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 14:33, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Eugenics looks surprisingly appealing
www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article5139880.ece

One useless mother of seven.

And

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article5146865.ece

Well on her way to seven or more.


Sterilisation? I'd have their ovaries and wombs removed with rusty nails.

But then I'm just an old fashioned liberal.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 13:57, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Looking at doing some recording
Any opinions on this:
www.dolphinmusic.co.uk/shop/flypage/product_id/8692

To be honest, I don't fully understand this side of it, I just write and play the songs...
But I know there're a good few music-folks out there who'd be able to help.
( Cawl, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 12:12, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

More job advice
You lot are like a band of superheroes, honestly. I'm 6 weeks into this job and on a 6 month probation. Do I have to give 4 weeks notice when I'm on probation or can I leave instantly? or is it dependant on the organisation?
(GONEism, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 11:01, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

FAO Halfy
Your wish may be coming true. I have an interview for the librarian's job at noon on 26th November :-)
(GONEism, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:45, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I would like to thank
From the bottom of my heart the person or persons involved in royally fucking up the traffic lights just outside Cambridge on the A10, thanks to you my 45 minute journey to work took almost 2 hours.

cunts.
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 10:14, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm
pretty sure I saw a ghost last night. My reaction was to shout "what the fuck!?" and kick at it, and it kinda disappeared. Is it normally to suddenly start seeing ghosts in a house you've been living in ghost free for 25 years? Especially since nobody has died in that house as far as I know.

Oh, and I don't drink or do drugs, so ssshh.
(GONEism, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 9:26, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The other day
my mate told me I look like the Autobots logo from Transformers

do you think I was right to feel pleased about that?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 9:02, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all.
Ooohhh look at me, on top of Kaol.


( wanderlust, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 7:55, 385 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's that time again...



And for those of you who have missed it before:


( Cawl, Thu 13 Nov 2008, 1:58, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

well
i spent in total 4 hours today dealing with fucking arab pedants trying to finalise the simple purchase of a vehicle.

no im not being racist - they were actual pedants. the 24 forms and 100 or so signatures today were merely the end result of a solid month's faxing, emailing and delivering in person multiple copies of my: drivers licence, (UK & UAE) passport, visa, salary certificate, bank statements, employment details: contract of employment, employers address, nature of business, position in company, sponsors letter, trade licence.

AND the name and mobile number of 'a friend' in the UAE - i shit you not. a fucking 'friend'. Note 'mobile number' no one i know has a home landline. there are also (refreshingly you might) say no letterboxes on the doors of the extortionately priced flats (25K a year for a modest 2 bed job up a highrise) as there are no postal addresses. PO boxes only thank you, we are medieval.

not to mention multiple visits to various disparate locations of offices, showrooms government departments etc. during which time i have driven over 150 miles on a road network in which the layout changes almost daily and 100mph tailgaiting is genuinely considered normal - the slightly impatient ones undertake you at 130mph on the hard shoulder - as do the police.

all in the pursuit of one fucking vehicle purchase

i had a boiled sweet for lunch then paid 50 quid for a crap meal this evening just so i could have a cheap bottle of plonk with it to celebrate.

naturally i still don't actually have the car - i'm assured it we be delivered tomorrow, or maybe the next day, Insha'Allah!

oh and i have to pay the taxi fare back for the delivery bloke

oh and when i got my UAE licence i was also given application forms for: a UAE drivers licence - yeah i know? Plus an application for a certificate detailing the contents of my licence - the contents being printed on the licence. Also a 'to whom it may concern' certificate application form, this, and i quote is a certificate to prove 'the non existence of a driving licence' how very fucking existential!

NEVER FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT THE UK AGAIN - it is a bureaucracy free oasis of calm, restraint, logic, manners and simplicity.

that is all

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 19:58, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As requested
Evening all :)


( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 17:12, 157 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A humble request to you all
If any of you out there are guitarists, and would be lovely enough to fill out a really very short questionnaire for me about guitar chords, and learning techniques, would you be kind enough to gaz me please.

Cheers all
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:46, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sorry, got to put this here...
I've just read this - b3ta.com/questions/found/post301168 - and laughed quite a lot.

But swordfishtrombone's answer half way down just made me spit vimto all over my desk.

Do you have any idea how hard that is to clean off? Grr...tee hee
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:40, Reply)

Fookin' 'ell
I just went for a job to be manager OF A FUCKING CASTLE!

If I get it will you all think I'm cool?
(GONEism, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:24, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh dear..
..I've just heard a member of Babyshambles on the radio talking about how, "obviously, all the band are big drug addicts and that darkness feeds into the music," to paraphrase.

I'm not very able to say no to various things myself (not heroin though) but.. talk about glorifying their terrible lifestyle (and worse music). I did a massive double take. I don't believe it warrants a barrage of letters and a public humiliation (leave the beeb alone!) but this guy's still a massive twat.

It'll probably be repeated regularly on 6music into the evening if you want a listen.

Edit: thinking back, the name of the band was forgotten during my double take. I'm pretty sure it was Babyshambles but it could have been any number of gimps doing well at the moment - Razorlight perhaps?
(lost, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 15:40, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Karen Matthews.
What do you reckon the horrible trout will get then? Judicially btw. Always assuming she's found guilty of course. Re Spimf's comment below, some judges seem a tad on the lenient side when it comes to kid cruelty.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 12 Nov 2008, 15:14, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Equatorial mount?
Anyone know how to use these?

I'm in the process of being a geek once again and have one that I am trying to make automatic with servos.

However, forget that bit - I haven't a clue how it's suppose to work first!

Anyone got some nice easy instructions?
(dchurch bah, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 14:58, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Insulation
My house - upstairs especially - can be an icebox, so I figured that it was time to do something about it. I rang the council to ask if they offered subsidies for insulation. They do, and offered to send round their preferred contractor for a quote.

Now, the design of my house is such that I was fully expecting him to say that a couple of walls and ceilings would need to come down, at least partially. I was also expecting that the subsidy would be for a couple of hundred quid, and means-tested at that. Overall, I was braced to have to shell out a couple of thousand. I didn't like that, but figured that it'd cut bills, make the study useable in winter, add value to the house, and do my bit for gobal warming - so I was prepared to bite the bullet.

The ballpark estimate? No significant building work - I can do that all myself with tools I own in an afternoon - and a total cost of FIFTY POUNDS. I love Manchester City Council and its generous subsidies.

And the lesson, I guess, is that y'all should get in touch with your councils to see what they can offer you. They probably have cash ringfenced for the taking...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 12:05, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Book Thread
I've just finished reading 'The Tenderness of Wolves' by Stef Penney. It won the 2006 Costa Book of the Year (that used to be the Whitbread Award) and it's also her debut novel.

It tells the story of a number of settlers, trappers and native Indians in Canada in the late 1800s. A trapper is found murdered, a young man disappears and then his mother goes after him to find out what has happened. All of this is set against the hard Canadian winter.

The author has never been to Canada and wrote it entirely from research she carried out in the British Library. It's hugely atmospheric and I can honestly say that I felt cold almost the entire time I was reading it.

That's the good bit about the book.

The bad bits?
Too many poorly drawn characters, too much superfluous information, too many plot lines that are left without being fully realised and in some cases, unresolved.
In my opinion this novel should have either been cut back drastically to only perhaps three major plot threads or else considerably lengthened into an epic novel of maybe twice the length so that the multiple threads could each have been given their own space to develop without the reader losing the plot in amongst all the snowflakes.

www.amazon.co.uk/Tenderness-Wolves-Stef-Penney/dp/1905204817

I now have the pick of about 50 new books sitting on my To Be Read shelf....

Hmmm.....the new Rushdie next perhaps?


What's everyone reading at the moment?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 11:01, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right my fellow B3tans, I need your help.
I live in a row of terraced houses and one of my neighbours is driving me insane.

He thinks he's Donovan. He plays his guitar and sings folk songs from about 8.30 to 10.30 in the evenings. Not every day but more days than I would like. I can't play loud music to drown him out or turn the tv up really loudly because then the other neighbours would be put out. Why should they have to suffer because I am. The sound also carries through to my bedroom and so if I go to bed I have to wear earplugs to block him out. It's not very loud but loud enough to chip away at my sanity each evening.

I did speak to him about this once and I thought we had come to an amicable agreement that he would meet me half way and cut down the times he would do this but unfortunately he's a dickhead and hasn't lived up to the bargain.

I need to find ways of making his life a misery. His teenage daughter seems to be starting the ball rolling from what I can tell by his screaming outbursts at her, but I need to carry on her good work.

Come on B3tans, help me out and lets cunt this guy in the fuck.


I did think about letting his tyres down, (he's a driving instructor), but a) I don't know how and, b) it's classed as criminal damage isn't it?
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 9:06, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I stole clendrix's sign.
It's a bit sweary, and I like that.


( wanderlust, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 8:03, 376 replies, latest was 16 years ago)