Right enough of that,
He just loves the attention.

This is a nice story www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-16607018
Look at his honest moustache! Isn't that nice!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 11:26, 145 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning. Advice request.
According to the ruler of the internet, I am an unpleasant and unhappy person. That doesn't really sound like something I want to be. Any tips on not being an unpleasant and unhappy person? Thanks. Kiss kiss. No you hang up first. No you. No you. Kiss kiss.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 9:24, 228 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

9am and no morning thread? WTAF?
Bit hungover this morning, be gentle. Has there ever been a film made of a book which did the source novel justice? That's your question for today. Go.

Alt: Lady GaGa, shag or die?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 9:04, 48 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've just been boozing with TD.
Turns out he's 6 foot 3 and better looking than Fiona Bruce.

Whodathunkit?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 21:37, 34 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

cheaters
have you cheated? been cheated on?
dump your heart out
I think my new beau is courting other belles.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 17:11, 209 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New QOTW is here
b3ta.com/questions/childhoodmisconceptions/
( rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:25, 10 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Bullying
It seems the internet is rife with bullying these days.
Have you ever been a bully? Did it make you feel like a big man?
Aged about 11 I, along with the rest of my class, mercilessly bullied one kid in the class. To this day I'm not sure why.

Alt: Perhaps you were the victim rather than the perpetrator. Relive the horrors of your schooldays with us and we can all have a good laugh at you.

Altalt: Bully another member of /offtopic
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:56, 231 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Vote for QOTW here
www.b3ta.com/board/10663335
( rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:19, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Stupid Achievements
What daft things have you done that you are stupidly proud of for no sensible reason? Last night I was playing on a football management game on my phone and won 10-0 in the semi-final of the FA cup. This pleases me far more than it should

Alt:
STRESS! What do you do to cope?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:43, 176 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

sorry darth but you killed OT
how about a twist on the "alt".

serious question: this italian captain who abandoned ship. when pilots or captains help, they get called 'heroic'. this implies they did something tough. either they are just doing their job, so deserve no praise, or a guy who couldn't bring himself to endanger his life is to be understood. is he a complete cunt? would you have gone back on board?

silly question: weirdest place you ever had sex/weirdest person you ever had sex with?

food question: LUNCH?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 10:57, 104 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Pissflaps
Apparently - and my source is both highly suspicious but also very well-connected (which might explain why he's suspicious) - our work are now tracking individual Internet usage due to some inconsiderate cunts ruining it for the rest of us by spending all their time on puerile forums instead of working. Curse their filthy eyes.

Coupled with a fucking abject display by Forest last night and an unfortunate situation in Dubai, it's not the best way to start a day. On the upside my new hair looks fabulous, so every cloud.

Good/bad/other? Bored senseless? Learning to use b3ta from an iPhone like me? Share your thoughts with the group.

Alt: b3tan shag/marry/shoot in the head with a massive gun. Go.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 8:17, 162 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

do you prefer to shop online or in store?
I like going to the store and looking at things and touching them, or trying them on before buying.
But after searching all over the local stores, I've been able to buy a cd I want [Best Coast]
So thanks to a random gift card I've not been able to buy it online.
Yay.

Alt: Fancy dress partys, tell me about them. We'd decided Princess and Jersey themes are out, unless I'm being "ironic" [thanks al]. I've moved to a 50s/greaser theme.
What's your favorite way to dress up?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 20:11, 272 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Tuesday night OMG YOU SICK FUCK thread.
I posted this in /links earlier. It's a video done to accompany a track called Wash It All Off by You've Got Foetus On Your Breath. It basically features lots of bits of safety videos spliced together (along with some other random elements) and is possibly one of the most disturbing yet strangely compelling things I've seen in a while. And it's an ace track imo; takes me back to my late teens.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cUKaQpwYUA&feature=related

Probably NSFW due to the rather violent imagery (car crashes, people falling off things, JFK getting a bullet in the head etc).

What's the most disturbing thing you've seen lately?

Alt: What's for dinner? Assuming you're still having dinner.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 18:31, 92 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Fine I'll do it
My wife is going life drawing tonight, she is generally very talented when it comes to art, i am as you would expect retarded. Are you artistic? what can you do?

Alt: if you could get away with not paying any tax would you? or do you have 'morals'?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 16:22, 142 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oh loooook
a news link www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jan/17/costa-concordia-coastguard-captain-return
But it's not bbc so it's like totally new and original.

Still read that, pretty fucking stupid to me.

Whats for lunch?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 13:53, 252 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

My god, what did people do before Coca-Cola was invented?
And why is it better from a can than a bottle?

What modern-day creations couldn't you live without? And what idosyncracies do you struggle to get your head around?

Alt: think of a suitable punishment for anyone who bothers to tell me that Coke is awful for your teeth or enforces poverty or likes Oasis

EDIT: Bacon does not count
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 12:33, 165 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well, that died on it's arse, I call new thread.
London: Best city of EVAR.

I think I may be the only person (including the other inhabitants) who actually likes it here. I'll even acccept most of the points people make against the city and still love it. So, tell me what you love about your home town.

Alt: What do you hate the most about where you live now.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:57, 124 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I don't post on here much these days
But I just thought it would be nice if the next thread was moved over to /talk. Just do the normal OT thread but on /talk...just to fuck with their heads.

Any takers?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:44, 68 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morning.
But is it really? I'm at work and I have a cold: this morning is likely to be shit. Tonight should be good though, I believe I'm going round TGB's for PIE.

I read this morning that some awful chutney who was an 'entertainer' on that cruise ship called his equally-simple mother and told her the ship was fucked. 'It's Friday 13th, are you winding me up?' she asked him. You know that tradition on Fridays which fall on the 13th where you wind someone up, don't you? No, you don't. That'll be April Fool's Day you stupid fucking bitch. They were from Kent.

Do you know a stupid fucking bitch? What's her problem?

Alt: Do you know a stupid fucking cock? What's his problem?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:34, 157 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I made lamb tagine
in the slow cooker and I resisted the urge to put too much liquid in so it turned out deliciously gloopy.

What have you made lately that you're pleased with / proud of?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 23:23, 13 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Much thanks to Kristine
for the insult 'gutterslut'....I have used it in various conversations and got to work one morning to find my cube taped off with trashbags and a sign saying 'keep out, gutterslut clubhouse'.

Meanwhile, I'm in Vegas and fucking hammered!
(nolongernuts, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 21:32, 70 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You got one single free pass to murder someone, you'll get away with it as long as it's not so blatant that the courts have no choice to put you in jail....
... kindda like monty's "My brother chopped off the head off a drug dealer with a sword and got away with it 'cus the cops didn't like him" style.

Who you murdering and why?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 20:22, 217 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Home time
Was it worth getting up today?

Alt. What was the first gig you went to?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:18, 215 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Someone really needs to start a new thread
Tell be about something funny from your school days.

Beakering, whining or moaning about being an outsider and bullied until you had to listen to 'The Cure' or 'My chemical Romance'* and cut yourself will not be tolerated.

Alt: I'm going to Scotland for a stag do, do i needs jabs? What trinkets should I carry to scare away the heathens? Will I need to boil the water?


*depending on age
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:41, 221 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Mr Paddick also aired fears that Boris Johnson’s background is not suitable for him to be at the helm of the Met
'at the helm of the Met' is my new favourite insult.

Er... what is your new favourite thing?
Alt: Dusty Springfield or Rusty Lee?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 12:35, 273 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Should British taxpayers pay for this?
£60million for a new royal yacht to mark the Queen's diamond jubilee.

www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5hZ2lhXg3zYCgTIOHcFUSWgUk1ocg?docId=N1002871326675089560A
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:52, 87 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You bunch of fucking chutneys. Fuck off. Go on, do one.
Right, now they've gone, we can all be friends again.

Good weekend? Mine was a mixture of great (beers with Stunned, his lovely missus and Lusty on Friday, super-lolz with daughter yesterday) and utter testes (cancelling party invite on Saturday night to discuss primary schools and the ethics of lying to get into faith schools, with someone who spent last week accusing me of theft).

What about this week? Any upcoming joys, or horrors? My brother has a redundancy meeting any day now, the poor cunt. His firm are total spastics.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:31, 297 replies, latest was 14 years ago)