Good morning.
But is it really? I'm at work and I have a cold: this morning is likely to be shit. Tonight should be good though, I believe I'm going round TGB's for PIE.

I read this morning that some awful chutney who was an 'entertainer' on that cruise ship called his equally-simple mother and told her the ship was fucked. 'It's Friday 13th, are you winding me up?' she asked him. You know that tradition on Fridays which fall on the 13th where you wind someone up, don't you? No, you don't. That'll be April Fool's Day you stupid fucking bitch. They were from Kent.

Do you know a stupid fucking bitch? What's her problem?

Alt: Do you know a stupid fucking cock? What's his problem?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:34, 157 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

There's a stupid fucking cock who works here.
When he can be arsed. He's disruptive, skives when he is here and I've caught him skinning up and dealing weed over his phone when he's supposed to be working. According to my boss, we can't fire him 'because he's black'.

Hmmmm.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:42, Reply)

I always assumed you were white

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:44, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:48, Reply)

It's not a bad morning.
Although someone text me ten minutes ago to tell me "I'm bloody freezing!", thanks for that. Oh and it's only cold or freezing if you've got shit clothes. I'm going out in a sec and I'll be toasty warm. I love this weather beyond words, I hope all the scruffy arseholes out there freeze to death.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:44, Reply)

Your mate should steal himself a coat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:45, Reply)

I'm guessing she's already wearing a coat.
And it's the daft fake fur one she loves. She's a veggie and when I have money I'm going to get her a real fur one and not tell her.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)

Cold's are for girls and woofters, man up. I highly recommend otravene to clear your nose
kent is an awful county, it is completely pointless and is simply in the way when I want to go to France.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:46, Reply)

I have other ways of clearing my nose, thanks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Where do you reside that is so wonderful?
Not that I care for outer Kent mind, my mum lives in Bromley.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)

The greatest city on Earth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Elaborating would help.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Laandan innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Well yes, obviously.
I'm off for a dog walk round Blackheath common in a bit I think. I do not want to return to Newcastle tomorrow.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Why would?
Unless you have a penchant for coal, beer belly tattoos, incomprehensible speech and paintball based blindings.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)

It's not that Newcastle is bad, it's a fantastic city.
It's just so fucking far away. I really wish I went to Sussex Uni.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:28, Reply)

So many of my peers went to newcastle, it's the new Bristol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)

If it was an hour or so away from home I'd love it beyond words.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Laaaahndaaan - the greatest city on earth?
I weep for humanity if this opinion even exists.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)

please elaborate on your preferred choice and show your working

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Oh come on, Placido is from Coventry - he knows all about great cities*


*He may not know about great cities.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:20, Reply)

MOAR LIKE POVENTRY !!!111!!!!!
srs though it's a shithole
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Yes. All of it. There couldn't possibly be any nice bits anywhere.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Lived & worked in London for 2 years
Coventry isn't too bad - possibly through my rose-tinted-that's-my-home-town spectacles but there y'go.
I've also worked in other cities over the globe, admittedly never for as long as I did in London, but I'd take ANY of them over our own fair capital.
My nephew best described London (and he works in offices in Mayfair!) as '10 million self-centred money-grubbing bastards who wouldn't cross the road to SELL you the time of day'.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)

This is because Mayfair is where the cunts live.
As you point out, there are 10 million of us, there may, just may be some variation. It would be rather like assuming that all people from Coventry are small-minded provincial twats, just because you met one that was.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)

I'm wearing one sandal and one shoe as I have a cut on the top of my foot which won't heal.
My left toes are incredibly cold and I only walked about thirty yards from the newsagent to my office.

Still on the plus side, I have croissants and Mango juice.

And, last night I went to see Wicked, and you know what Darth was correct in his assertion that it is a brilliant production.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:48, Reply)

You probably have runners AIDS
Who cares about the production I bet it was still fucking bent
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)

I realise you're a bit of a simpleton, but surely even someone as retarded as you knows that it is possible to refer to a show in a theatre as a "production"
Though as it happens, the production of said show was also very good.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)

Only a mincing nob jockey would use that terminology
I can therefore conclude that you are a mincing nob jockey.

All musicals are shit and bent and fucking shit, the end.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Your post contains nothing but facts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)

I only deal in the currency of facts
later today; why poor people should not get the dole, all the facts straight from my fingers to your eyes.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)

THESE ARE THE NEEEEEWWWWS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)

it's alright though because now we have "Miranda" and "two pints of lager and a packet of crsips"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Phew.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Heseltine fading fast.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)

So, to summarise,
you are a bender. A bender who wears sandals. And likes 'musical theatre'. 'Musical theatre' based on 'The Wizard of Oz'. The same 'Wizard of Oz' which all massive gays love.

Are you my old CDT teacher Mr Lee? He had a Sinclair C5 which he rode around the playground.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Yes Monty, I am your old CDT teacher.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Can I have a go on your Sinclair C5?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)

No.
I only let people who don't tell lies about beheaded drug dealers ride on my C5.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Count me in
does it drive like my mobilty scooter?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Yes, the dispatch 'manager' at my work, she's a stupid fucking bitch.
She refuses to be taught anything that could help her do her job, will say 50 words when 5 will suffice, and frankly, absolutely stinks. Ugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:54, Reply)

You should "dispatch" all over her keyboard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Her "keyboard", you mean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Bitches. In no particular order:
Harriet Harman.
Freefair's mother (for giving birth to the twat).
My sister.
The mentalist in my local who keeps trying to talk to me when I am enjoying a quiet pint and reading my kindle.
The midwife who gave my wife bad advice.
My next door neighbour for pissing in street.
My mother.
Sandi Toqsviq.
Margaret Thatcher.
Quentin's mother (for giving birth to the twat).
The CEO of Crisis (doesn't know how to run a charity properly).
My mate's girlfriend (for being a gold digger).
The arsehole from St Jame's Place who keeps calling to sell me financial products I don't want or need.
The headhunter I spoke to yesterday who said I was "too senior" for a job I liked the look of.
The woman in my local petrol station who when I go to buy cigarettes asks me if I have petrol to pay for, despite her seeing me walk on to the forecourt, not drive.
Roger the starfish (or whatever it's called this week).
My dentist.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)

You take the internet far too seriously, it's a bit sad.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)

He doesn't wear sandals, though. Or teach CDT.
So he's beating you on two counts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Nor do I have a C5. I had a go on one once though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)

It would be sad if I was being serious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)

But you do take Quentin very seriously.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)

He actually made me laugh yesterday. Only once though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)

He took me very seriously last week.
He made me clarify, and when I came to clarify I found he was dead wrong on the internet. He demanded I edit my post, but if I had done so I'd have been lying.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:30, Reply)

I did indeed. Pomposity went in to overdrive.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)

It wan't the pomposity that was funny.
Whatever it was it was fucking brilliant.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I'm sensing some animosity in this post

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)

I am carrying too much anger. A wank in the shower in about half an hour should fix this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)

shower frozen aisle of Morrison's
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Morrison's Fortnum and Mason's.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Could you do me a favour please...
... can you ask Lusty if she would like to have sex on this sofa: imgb.in/fu : I mean, with me. Or a blowjob, even a snog and I'll have a wank while it's happening would be OK. They took the protective sheet with them, but I can get some cleanfilm to put down.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Those are hideous Gonz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)

They are not.
They do look very comfy.
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Comfy perhaps, but they look rather shit.
Still, our sofa is broken so they're better than that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Meh! I've seen worse.
I'm getting a new sofa too.
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)

More furniture related news as it happens sofa fans.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)

*tenterhooks*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)

www.buoyant-upholstery.co.uk/products/soft/fairfield
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)

AMAZING
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)

INNIT!!

( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Not sure I can cope with much more excitement. I may have to lay down.
On my sofa. Natch.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Is there a colour photo of them?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Wut???

( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Well I know technology moves slowly up north, but Black and white photos on a website?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)

They're not black and white.
Have you scrolled down?
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Yes, oddly the other sofas appear to have colour pics.
Is yours on some kind of special deal? "20% off but you only get to see B&W pics"
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)

The main pic is a grey sofa but you can get toher colours numpty.
Mine will be taupe.
( girlinthehole, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:37, Reply)

More facts from Nakers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)

But they're sooo comfy ! Like, the comfiest sofas I've ever laid my rump on.
I think if I was to choose again, they're too big for the room, just on the boarder of "take them back, they're too big" sized, and they don't look 100% right in the room, maybe 80%? But they're SOO COMFY that I'm happy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Are they from DFS or Harvey's? Either way they aren't that great tbh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)

=(
Some place in Brimsdown, I like them though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)

You seem to have blocked off effective entry or egress from the room there, I'm sensing feng shui issues already

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Totally thought about a way to make it good, gonna re-arrange the room so that the entertainment unit is against the wallpaper
It'll work really well, it's just in the wrong place.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)

I've got the docs this morning.
Will I get signed off AGAIN? Stay tuned for more exciting updates of failure.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:32, Reply)

NEEDS MOAR SOFAS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Being a Scotch I assume you have a severe drug/alcohol problem

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)

OR HEARTZ DISEASES!!!!!!
No, none of the above.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:36, Reply)

AIDS it is then.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)

YES TEH BAD 1

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)

So what is wrong with you then?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)

As he's posting on here I imagine there's something wrong with his head

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Yes but that don't work on a sicknote.
"Two weeks sick for b3ta"
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Missus is ill.
Signed off for stress.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:43, Reply)

So why are you signed off?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Stress?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Oh I thought she was stressed
Why so stressed MMPS?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

She's ill?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

This month's irrational dislike of someone I don't know goes to...
Louise Mensch.
I don't care what her rating is on sexymp.co.uk, the woman is vile. I don't know what her problem is, but it is probably something to do with being a coke-addled, right-wing bitch. I wouldn't touch it with yours.

Alt: Michael Gove. Always Michael Gove.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:32, Reply)

My ideal woman.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:36, Reply)

(not really)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)

MICHAEL GOVE IS A LOVELY HUMAN BEING. AMBERL HAS MET HIM AND HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SORT OUT OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:39, Reply)

And he wants to give the Queen a £60m yacht.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)

NO YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HE MEANT THAT PRIVATE BUSINESS SHOULD DO IT

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)

That must rank as one of the stupidest things said last week
Then the Eds came along and supported the coalition cuts destroying their left wing fan base
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)

It's quite amazing isn't it.
The man in charge of our education system comes up with a plan to literally piss away 60m pounds, and not only does it not destroy him, it actually gets upstaged by someone who is supposed to have an idea of how economies work.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)

The guy who sits next to me at work is like a plague-ridden Jeremy Clarkson
Whenever he coughs or sneezes it sounds like the apocalypse, I've never known anyone who can chain-sneeze. I've actually considered asking a vet to have him humanely destroyed.

He's also 52 and ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.

I listen to a lot of music at work.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:39, Reply)

I fucking wish I could listen to music at work
Morning fella
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)

I don't know what I'd do without it
Am moving desks soon and the standard of banter will improve immeasurably.

Morning mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Good good
Have you seen the Download announcement? It's fucking laughably bad.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)

I never get to go to Download cos it usually clashes with Rawkus
this year it doesn't, but does clash with a big Ballroom comp, so I can't go anyway. Who's on it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)

These were all announced last night
Machine Head, Trivium, Lamb of God, Devin Townsend, DevilDriver, Little Angels, Anthrax, Ugly Kid Joe, August Burns Red, Soundgarden, Chase & Status, Biffy Clyro, You Me At Six, and Tenacious D.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)

That isn't laughably bad
Soundgarden, Lamb of God and Anthrax are all worth watching.

So that's six bands I want to watch already.

But why the fuck are "Chase and Status" playing. I don't even know what they sound like, other than that I'm sure they are cunts.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Biffy Clyro put on a good show
C&S play pumped up dubstep and drum and bass. there seems to be more and more "dance" acts at rock festivals
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

That's why I enjoyed Sonisphere so much last year, they recognised the want for "dance" acts, and gave them a seperate stage.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Chase & Status = serial Pendulum copyists
Probably well worth seeing unless you're massively opposed to electronica at rock festivals
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Well, given that Pendulum are fucking shit.
I can only assume that a copy of a fucking shit band are beyond fucking shit and into some sort of inverse universe where you fancy women and Bobby is thin.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Alright Dozer you vain Scotch twat, give Al his login back
Did my four miles today. Looking forward to day off tomorrow.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

You rude bastard. How dare you comapre me to that humourless twat.
Just because Pendulum are a terrible band, I was nice about you earlier when discussing my trip to the theatre last night.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

You're right. That was harsh. I apologise
I'm impressed that you'd openly admit to a) enjoying musical theatre and b) agreeing with me in this forum.

Seriously, very pleased you enjoyed it, fucking brilliant show. I assume you gave my friend Charlotte a wave as I asked.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

charlotte a wave dorothy a bumming
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)

10/10
yesssssssssss
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I think that's unfair, C&S have far more range than Pendulum, who are one trick shit ponies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

That's so laughably incorrect that I hardly know where to start
If C&S have such range then why does their music ALWAYS fit into the category of "what Pendulum were doing six months ago"?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

what Pendulum were doing six months ago mnnnnnnngh
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Machine Head are past it now, I'm not really an Anthrax fan, and I don't like Soundgarden
I wouldn't mind seeing Lamb Of God, Devildriver or YMA6 (their music is pretty poor, but their performances and energy are faultless), but I wouldn't go out of my way to see any of them anymore, really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Badmotorfinger is one of finest rock albums of all time
I happened to have it on my iPod in the car this morning I'll have you know.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I'm getting old, I've never heard of half of them
I didn't even know Soundgarden had reformed. I'd go and see YouMeAtSix if I didn't know I'd be twice as old as anyone else in the crowd.

Hang on - are the headliners included in that lot?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

YAMA6 = gay pop punk
no, headliners are metallica, Black Sabbath and someone else...prodigy maybe
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Yep, those are the 3
YMA6's music is crap, but they're pretty damn good live, which I never thought I'd admit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

I actually quite like a lot of their tunes
I wouldn't go out of my way to see them mind. I might consider a day ticket for the Sunday if the line-up works out, which seems unlikely
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

I was dragged to see them at Sonisphere
Their music may not be my thing, but their style, their cockiness, and the fact you could see they were genuinely having a great time really sold them to me, very enjoyable show - stolen from my own review.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Plus Tony Iommi might be dead by then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

I hope not

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Let's face it, any one of them could croak at any given moment
Bill Ward's doctor told him he wouldn't make it past 25
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

You forgot these " "

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)

"guy"?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)

"music"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Am listening to Faith No More at the minute
WINNING
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Which album?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Have you asked him about his career progression?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)

He's so set in his ways that he probably thinks that's a popular beat combo

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:43, Reply)

EURGH
The office heffalump is wearing a knee-length skirt. Thank god I haven't had breakfast
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)

another friend has selfishly got herself up the duff
that's 3 so far this year. can't people see the planet is overpopulated as it is? it's disturbed my equilibrium, she's always been one of the most hardcore pissheads i know. now she's moving out to the countryside to have a baby. weird.

i can't say that makes her a stupid fucking bitch though. so i'll go for..............................

apeloverage is a bit of a tool. i don't know what his problem is though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)

oh fuck my arse
the stupid bitch in america who has the same email address as me bar one letter, and who gives my address out for EVERYTHING, has now signed me up for a round robin recipe exchange. i've had about 30 emails so far this morning from middle-aged milwaukee american housewives exchanging fucking cookie and cheesecakes. arrrrgh.

i know what HER problem is, she's an illiterate wanker who can't spell her own email address.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Reply to every single message telling them all that this woman is so stpid she can't even spell her own e-mail address.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Or send them all pr0n

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

she sent me her e-tickets for a flight once
i had to ring delta to explain and the more i tried to explain that i didn't KNOW her real email address, she had sent it to the wrong person, the more confused he got. eventually he got it. and he said: so you called all the way to america just to help a stranger? and i said: well yeah, she'd have missed her holiday otherwise.

and he said: you did a good thing today, ma'am. a good thing.

this made me laugh a lot. but that was years ago when she had only done it a couple of times. now your solution and their porn solutions are a LOT more appealing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Ma'am?
Aw, bless. Did he tell you to have a nice day, ya'll?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

i think it was "have a wonderful evening, ma'am" actually
they sure are polite down at delta airlines
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I'm sure he said it with total sincerity.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

i'm actually sure he did
americans are brilliant at customer services.

plus he sounded HOT. he had a lovely southern draaaaawl on him.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)

He was masterbating into a pigs head while he was talking to you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)

I'll bet she can spell 'stupid' though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Reply with horse porn, it's the only answer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

A colleague of mine as a very similar problem.
He's tried emailing this other guy, forwarding on mails etc but the dick persists in using my colleague's email address. It's been going on for years, apparently.

Including for the flights he booked for his holiday to Australia. So my colleague cancelled them.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Good work. Do you have the same name? Could have had a free trip to Australia.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

mine is 2 different people
the worst offender is the milwaukee desperate housewife. i know she's actually quite hot, as one of her friends sent me a video of her on youtube when she auditioned to be p diddy's personal assistant. but she's still terrible.

the other one is a black 50+ lecturer in feminism in new york. i know this because occasionally i get her students' essays and she once signed me up to a 50+ black dating website. in new york. i'm thinking i would have been a disappointment on a whole host of levels. anyway, i got a few messages from "sandy 56" and "blackjeans" etc. the poor woman must have wondered why not one guy on the website ever emailed her.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Make an enquiry on the Scientologists website using her email address. She'll get contacted daily.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)

but that's the problem
i don't KNOW her email address! and nor does she, by the look of it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)

hi battered, hows it going?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:37, Reply)