Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hello everyoneI'm cooking a big turkey on saturday and I wanted to do that Nigella Lawson soak it overnight in brine and spices thing.
I have failed to find the recipe though has anyone got a link to it? or can they find it online?
also www.bbc.co.uk/news/
Also seeing as bert came back today who would you like to see back on offtopic and why?
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:27, 262 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
here you gowww.foodnetwork.com/recipes/nigella-lawson/spiced-and-super-juicy-roast-turkey-recipe/index.html
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:34,
Reply)
anytime petal(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:39,
Reply)
was he? I always miss the fun stuffis this it?
(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:35,
Reply)
I saw that. Interesting post.I think that Bert goes off at Monty because he genuinely thinks Monty is a worse person than him and can't understand why other people don't see it.
That, or he's more threatened by Monty's retaliations for his posts than other people.
(
Kroney, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:41,
Reply)
No, he's an attention-seeking borderline autistic troll.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:06,
Reply)
I like how attention seeking is a bigger insult than incestuous nonce on b3ta.(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:10, Reply)
I like how you keep replying to my posts.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:13,
Reply)
I think you have a pointThere's a strong case for saying that Bert is frustrated because, for all his ups and downs, we like Monty, and yet we don't like Bert. Bert fails to understand this because he seems convinced that he's on some higher moral ground than Monty ('cause of course it's fine to sodomise your siblings) and we should therefore like him more. He has, of course, missed the crucial point in the matter which is that every time he pops up on here he just behaves like a cunt.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:27, Reply)
ORHe's an attention-seeking borderline autistic troll.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
This may be trueBut there is also the point that bert iis just a fucking loon who drilled his own sibling.
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
That's what I said.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
That's cause you know where it's at.Ya get me?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:41,
Reply)
He never used to be, though.Something happened along the way.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
You're right. I can remember a time when Bert was funny.Seems hard to believe given his recent incarnations, but it does make you wonder what happened.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Pooflake and Captain Placid.Because they woz funny.
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girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
Maybe he just has a busy social calendar this time of year and it is non-stop Christmas party after Christmas party?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:43,
Reply)
My cat is still goneand I just realised she went missing at the time I got a series of psycho-stalker emails. Hmm...
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:14, Reply)
More news links Chompy?I'm so sick of news links. Can you not post something about football instead?
(
Kroney, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:38,
Reply)
I was going to post a thread about "little things that annoy you"or "music" but I decided I didn't want to rock the boat too much.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:40, Reply)
did you see the news report about farmers in florida hiring helicopters toblow warm air down from 50 feet up to stop their crops freezing?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:43,
Reply)
it's fucking stupid(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:47,
Reply)
Are you going to make proper cranberry sauce?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:45,
Reply)
Something I've hurt about turkey is to turn it upside down halfway through cookingThis allows the juices to run through the breast, and stop it from drying out as much.
Before she would flounce over everything WBM/BSM wasn't too bad. Also, spikeypickle, simply because he's my mate.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:45,
Reply)
it's not that hard to stop it drying outmost people just can't cook very well.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:49,
Reply)
The secret is to keep your bird moist......and make sure there is plenty of festive stuffing.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:54, Reply)
Ignoring the innuendothat's actually true, the breast cooks quicker than the legs so if you add enough stuffing you can slow down the cooking of the breast to stop it overcooking.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:01, Reply)
Stuffing inbetween the skin and breastswith a layer of bacon on top, tented in foil, take the foil and bacon off for the last half hour of cooking.
Sorted.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:18, Reply)
don't necessarily need the stuffing in therebut the foil and bacon plan is the one I follow. Leave the bacon on when the foil comes off though so you get ultra-crisp, saltastic bacon
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:23,
Reply)
I found this which amused the hell out of mehustlebear.com/2010/12/14/how-to-handle-lawyers-threatening-you/
And figured I'd see what Rswipe thought about it.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:03,
Reply)
have you all seen that gillian mckeith-v-nigella lawson email that is doing the roundsabout how one advocates healthy living and looks like X, the other lives on puddings and meat and looks like Y, complete with pics. it's quite an advert for cake.
secondly i read this as "whom you would like to see the back of on off-topic". well....
ironically my so-called friend just texted me - 10 days of silence had no effect, but the fb deletion was instantly noted. do some people have nothing better to do than count their fb friends?!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
well in this case i did mean it to be, and it has worked.but if it's someone you never see or speak to, how/why would you even notice?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
I have the Better Facebook add-on so as to split my feed into tabsbut one of the other things it does is notify me of unfriending. There are a few like that out there.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:31,
Reply)
I was friends with Bert on FB for a while.Then after his last epic meltdown he deleted me. It took me a few weeks to notice.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
I didn't notice until he told me.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
deleted by BERT?that is quite a diss, boys
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
I was a bit bemused by itAs I'd held back from all the 'fuck off bert' stuff. Maybe he was just culling every b3tan.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:29,
Reply)
I once deleted my sister to make a pointIt took her five minutes to text me to ask me to re-add her.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:19, Reply)
*sigh*/berts
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
*High fives*It wasn't directed at you, it was merely an opportunity to make a cheap joke based on the resurfacing of everyone's favourite little simian scamp!
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:33,
Reply)
I've noticed when I've been deleted 3 timesI wasn't counting friends, it was seeing that I couldn't view stuff anymore, or noticed they'd not shown up on my news feed for a while. 2 I expected, 1 was a bit of a shock.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
Most people would notice straight away if I deleted themWhen their newsfeed was no longer clogged with lefty-ramblings, casually interspersed with lyrics from whatever I'm listening to at the time.
I'm a terrible person.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:25, Reply)
This is true.Ah well.
Btw, Jody McIntyre shouldn't have been at those protests in the first place, especially not in the middle of them.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:29,
Reply)
If you're trying to piss me off, it won't workI'm all zen-like and such today.
/lies
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I'm notIf I was, I'd quote that retard Littlejohn, with his laughable bigotry.
I just don't think he had any reason to be at the protests, and while his treatment wasn't nice, what would have happened if the crowd had charged, or if the police had? He'd likely not make it out alive.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
So disabled people aren't allowed to protest in case they get hurt?In his own words:
blogs.independent.co.uk/2010/12/15/jody-mcintyre-who%E2%80%99s-apathetic-now/
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:36, Reply)
I'm not saying that at all, he is well within his rightsThe police are currently being screwed by everyone, they're either being too harsh, or not harsh enough, all the while several of these protests have gone violent, and they've gone this way quickly.
If they suspected that missiles might be thrown, and they saw a guy in a wheelchair between them and the students, I think they would have to react. They could have gone about this better, but I think getting him out of the way was the right decision.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
I'm obviously missing something here.But I sense barely disguised hostility among the ranks...
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:31,
Reply)
Apparently today I am being trolled by DarthAA is, I hope, joking.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:33, Reply)
NopeI'm one of those who thinks the protests are pretty much entirely a terrible idea, and nothing but a reason for the little fuckers to cause trouble.
Charlie Gilmour is a fucking prime example of this.
There are those who protest for valid reasons, but those who protest because something that will not affect them in any way, simply because it is 'their right to', are often fools IMHO.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
Charlie Gilmour is a cuntbut that doesn't mean that protests are unjustified.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:40, Reply)
For those it will affect, certainlyBut for those who simply want a day out where they can smash windows, brick officers, and cause trouble knowing they can't get caught are cunts.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:42,
Reply)
People can't complain about bad treatment at these protests anymoreNow it's clear that several will turn violent, they can't then suddenly say 'How was I supposed to know?'
That's it really.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:46,
Reply)
There have been plenty of peaceful protests up and down the countryand Jody McIntyre was complaining about being dragged from his wheelchair BY THE POLICE. His treatment by the BBC was fucking shameful too.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Gillian McKeith? Healthy living?Does she fuck. She's a fucking disgrace to humanity, a total fraud, utterly ruins the good name of actual science and medicine and should be fed to pigs.
What she does is uses Woo and peoples stupidity to sell bullshit herbal supplements. There isn't one ounce of "healthy" in anything she recommends, with the exception of saying vegetables are good, which I think my 2 year old nephew can manage.
Seriously, there is no form of death that is too bad for her.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
Haha! I believe it was "Dr" McKeith who claimed in her first bookthat one should eat green vegetables (*tick*) because they're very nutritious (*tick*) and, most importantly, because the chlorophyll in them oxygenates your blood (*facepalm*).
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:30, Reply)
yeah, from the massive torch shining up your arse, presumably(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:37,
Reply)
Ben Goldacre hit the nail on the head with this one, along the lines of:Firstly, if there is a source of light in your bowel, you really would want a doctor to take a look at it.
Secondly, let's assume there is enough light in there for the chlorophyll to photosynthesise...would you really want all those inflammable gases in your gut to be given a nice big helping of oxygen?
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:40, Reply)
So I heardHe's quite good to follow on Twitter, one of my favourites.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:43, Reply)
I've got an account on Twitter, but barely use itSaves battery life, you see?
*runs*
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
I would like to campaign for his book to be read, cover-to-cover, by anybody who is being paid to cover any health or science-related stories.(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:44, Reply)
But no one listens to science.Why, if you asked them what the most important greenhouse gas is, what would they say?!
Afternoon, Mr. Cornix.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:55,
Reply)
Half of them would probably say ozone.*sighs*Good afternoon, Mlle Lampers. How's tricks?
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:00, Reply)
I'm bedridden (unfortunately not being ridden in bed, or maybe fortunately, as I'd probably pass out or something)so it looks like my evening of being dressed as a king prawn will NOT go ahead. Which is a shame. Apart from the whole not-having-to-endure-Walkabout thing. How has today been treating you?
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:05,
Reply)
Oh dear. That doesn't sound so good. (I was looking forward to seeing photographic evidence of this prawn costume...)My day's been alright by comparison. Yes, I slept poorly (I think I was repeatedly awoken by the deafening flatulence of the drunken gastropod asleep on my floor) and I had to make a heartbreaking decision between seeing Hawkwind on Friday or John Crampton on Saturday. But I'm plodding on ok today. Plus they let me sing at the blues jam last night, so I think I'm still on a bit of a high from that.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:11, Reply)
Did you not let him into your bed? You could have spooned!Is it lack of funds that's preventing you from going to both? That's a shame. Which one did you go with in the end?
Glad to hear about the singing, though. I don't know, I might be able to make it out of bed but going to an Australian themed club that will be packed full of SPORTSpeople and drunks does not really appeal. Ideally I would have a roaring fire and a bottle of gin, but, you know. Life goes on -swigs milk-
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:16,
Reply)
We could have. But I have a sneaking suspicion that the bed wouldn't be able to cope with our combined weights.Unfortunately it's a lack of time that prevents me from doing both. One of my bands is pestering me for a rehearsal on Friday night, Saturday night or sometime next week. As I'm away next week, I chose Friday. I know Crampton will be good and will be in my old local, whereas Hawkwind will actually just be "Dave Brock and cronies."
And yeah, I think even if I were at the peak of my health and in a phenomenally good mood, I wouldn't want to go anywhere near a bar/club full of drunk sports-types.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)
But then you could have made a nest for yourselves inamongst the shattered springs of the bed, in the path of so many bumders before you.Oh, I see. That's a real shame, and I imagine this is one of the bands you enjoy. And on that note enjoy Crampton, too. I have not heard or heard of him but I'm sure you'll have fun.
Though everything would seem so much better seen through the beady eyes of a prawn...
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:28,
Reply)
There isn't a "most important" greenhouse gas.It's relative to the different carbon cycles, biological vs fossil carbon, level of sink in the environment, etc,etc
Anyone who professes to know everything about the greenhouse effect is a lying cunt whatever side they are on.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:03,
Reply)
Let me put my hands up and say I know nothing about greenhouse gases, atmospheric physics, the ozone layer, red shift, the water cycle,carbon fuel, carbon dating, the El Nino effect, or anything involving numbers.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:07,
Reply)
badum-tish.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:15,
Reply)
Well "stop eating so much crap" is healthydoesn't make her a diet expert though.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:31, Reply)
She gave a very good tip if your finding it hard to poo.Lift your legs up slightly thus opening up your rectal passage further.
(
girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
Hahaha! I had gathered that.I was questioning the angle of poopy trajectory - if the legs are gathered up, the bumhole would be facing forward and there is potential for a 'scatty' disaster.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:57, Reply)
Perhaps, but a lot more expensive than the worn-out Dan Brownsgoing for 20p a shot in old library stock sales...
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:06, Reply)
Just read Bert's postI can't believe how hard he tries to make Monty feel bad. It's inconceivable that he could really think that Monty will pay the slightest bit of attention to him of all people. Was quite amusing to watch everyone rally behind the "fuck off Bert" cause though
Sorry, haven't been here long enough to bring anyone back. I'll go with Amelia Earhart, just to shut the conspiracy theorists up
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Many, many thingsBut I wouldn't want to burden your overcrowded brain with them, lest they have to make room by removing vital information like what follows "breathe in"
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Oh, ouch!There are many ways you could insult me without coming out with boring, overdone shit like that, you know.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:28, Reply)
ProbablyBut frankly it's not worth my time or effort to come up with anything more original
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:29, Reply)
The rest of the internet.Far better than you have tried to piss me off. Most have failed.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:35, Reply)
It's funny because this thread is about cooking turkeysand no one like overdone turkeys.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:29, Reply)
I wouldn't bother doing that, it's an epic amount of effort for not much rewardJust get a good turkey in the first place and don't let it dry out when you are cooking it. Mind you, I'm not averse to a bit of Nigella. Dirtier than a Cornish tin miner's sock.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
Those little set-pieces they do at the end of the episodes piss me off though.Oh, here's Nigella, she's come to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a nibble. What's she got? Oh! Something on a piece of slate, it looks delicious. What this? She's got some kind of sauce! My god! She's putting the sauce on the delicious-looking thing. Fuck me, John, she just licked her finger! Look at her, she's smiling! *EXPLOooODES*
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:23,
Reply)
I'm the same, it's shitBut one a few weeks back did make me smile. She cut a slice of carrot cake, slapped some cream on top, and walked off. 5 seconds later, she took the rest of the cake. Mildly amusing.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
Oh, I've no idea about her TV programs(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:31,
Reply)
This just about sums it up perfectlycourtesy of Shooting Stars www.youtube.com/watch?v=L57BcmGB-E0
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:36,
Reply)
You should have seen her 'fisting' the chocolate brownies....Filth.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Problem is I'm cooking a turkey on a budget, in a small oven.So I'm buying a relativley cheap one to start with so need to get as much flavour into it as possible before it goes in the oven.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:27, Reply)
isn't the answer to both your problemschicken?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:29,
Reply)
serve it with lots and lots of vegetables?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:39,
Reply)
I liked Kaol.And I would like to know who was behind the sockpuppet I had a few interesting conversations with about a year and a half ago.
I'm not sure about turkey. Never had it.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:36,
Reply)
IT WAS YOU WASN'T ITNo, discussing literature for the most part of what I remember.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:42,
Reply)
There's enough probably to work out who it is but I probably can't be arsed.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
It's one of the unsolved mysteries of my b3ta careerlike "What was I thinking?!" and "Why did I do that?"
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:56,
Reply)
We can't get rid of her,even when I emailed her boss about what she was posting, she still came back.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:39, Reply)
yay!I was hoping someone would say me. I love you Roota.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:15,
Reply)
me,I'm back to b3ta after forgetting this place existed for a while :)
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:41, Reply)
I do miss cake(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:52,
Reply)
like this guynews.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/50434000/jpg/_50434400_child.jpg
Who are you then, you should give us five facts about yourself.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:52, Reply)
well..I have a dog
and a cat
I'm from the north
I don't like mushrooms
I have brown hair ...all over my face and body
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Keep trying you'll get there eventually.Good to see you've lurked a bit though. More people should have.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Call him a girl next!He loves that one!
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:20,
Reply)
Who the fuck is it?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:53,
Reply)
it's a girlblow the dust off the pandertron
edit: see below for sample "casual" lying pandering
edit 2: and above
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:55,
Reply)
BatteredSo I could ask him why he went mental
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
Well Americans are cunts aren't they(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:50,
Reply)
This one time, she was actually nice to me, the bitch.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:54,
Reply)
He didn't go mental as such.He did what a lot of us should do when we're facing problems.....Leave the internet.
(
girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
I understand why he decided to spend less time on b3tahell, I should have done that. But he defriended and then blocked all of us on facebook too and uninvited people he was supposed to be having round for dinner, which does seem a little OTT.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:17,
Reply)
trueI suppose I set too much store by internet people, I don't feel like 'it's all just words on a screen' etc.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:23,
Reply)
that's because you found love(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
that's true my darling*wistful sigh*
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:31,
Reply)
Oh yeahI heard he'd disappeared quite suddenly. Struck me as quite a nice bloke at the bash. Anyone have the foggiest idea what happened there?
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:49, Reply)
I heard he overdosed on horseradish and maybe accidentally murdered someone's pet.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:55,
Reply)
He was back on the other day for a minute I thinkIf my Holmes (Sherlock, not John) skills are up to scratch, he was also ‘Nommy Sossy Sammiches’ who popped up for two minutes last week. I told him to ‘fuck off Bert’ thinking he’d find it funny but I caused great offence to him with an ill-advised joke with Kristine the day he flounced, so I fear he dislikes me now and didn’t find it funny.
I wish he’d come back too: he was great.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:00,
Reply)
fucking hellour "unclaimed mail" just announced that someone has a gourmet chocolate pizza (ie chocolate shaped and coloured to look like a pizza, not a chocolate flavoured pizza) delivered with no name on it. this is the same thing kitty was talking about the other week. the temptation to claim it, on a scale of 1-10, is 137.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
I saw some of these in Fenwicks yesterday - they look lovely!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:56,
Reply)
I stole the downstairs office's graze box onceno one noticed. STEAL THE PIZZA
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:18,
Reply)
you thieving bint(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:21,
Reply)
I left them there for 3 days and they remained unclaimed.I regretted stealing the wasapeas.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
no waythose are the best thing they do, although their olives are pretty magnificent as well.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
I liked the yoghurt covered cranberries.Waitrose were giving away packets of nuts and seeds, my rat loves them.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
I've told you before about calling it your ratand that you shouldn't shove food up there
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:35,
Reply)
the problem is that hereit gets locked in a cage in the post room
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:27,
Reply)
you need:1. boltcutters
2. gloves
3. mask
4. catsuit
then you can undertake a heist.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
I'm fairly sure you can think of a way to bribe the postboy(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:30,
Reply)
"Unclaimed Male Department"AKA "Off Topic"
(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:20,
Reply)
All the good ones are claimed.And one prefers dogs.
(
girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:22,
Reply)
Aint dat da troot(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
i can think of one or two (or one)that is single and very decent
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:25,
Reply)
So the eh? was a deliberate divertion from the question.Sneaky I like it.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:48, Reply)
I don't consider any user on here to be either single or decent.So I have no idea who it is.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)
couple of points1. male
2. decent
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:40,
Reply)
I am male, biology confirms thisAnd I'm a decent enough guy, I just enjoy making stupid jokes.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:43,
Reply)
Blurgh!Why do people have to mess with perfectly good food.
(
girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
ask the guy who invented toastyou: "that bread is perfectly good, why are you messing it?"
toast-man: "just bear with me, this is going to be awesome"
if you had your way we wouldn't have toast. YOU BITCH
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:25,
Reply)
I like thisMainly because I like toast and you make a good point.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:28, Reply)
I'm all about experimentation(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
I'm all about knowing when to stop experimenting and get to eat the damn thing.(
girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:32,
Reply)
I don't like chocolate though.And I fucking love pizza, so it just seems like an abomination on a plate to me.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:40, Reply)
it's the same thing(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:33,
Reply)
I'd rather ask the the first guy who milked a cow what he was up to at the time(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:30,
Reply)
Oh come onit's perfectly natural to cook and eat chicken period
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:34,
Reply)
You'd be amazed how much referring to something as 'period' can put people off foodI referred to Jam Roly Poly as 'Period Pie', my friend now hasn't eaten it in 5 years, simply because of that.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:42,
Reply)
I know of several ways to put people off food for lifeIt's a fun game to play.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)
I'm happy to report that none of them would work on meI eat Doner meat sober, I think that's a good indicator of how little I care where it comes from.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:47,
Reply)
It only works on the squeamishLet's just say my sister banned cottage cheese from the house after I compared it to several things.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)
*Drops spoon in disgust*(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:46,
Reply)
"Hey, Ug, what's that you're drinking?""Well, I pulled on the dangly bits of that thing that goes moo and drank what came out."
"Why? Because the little things that go moo suckle on that as our little ones suckle at their mother, so you figured that what comes out of the dangly bit must be good for you?"
"Er... Yeah. Yeah, because it could be good for you. And not for any other reason at all. No sir."
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:37,
Reply)
How did they know to pull it?I imagine they too would have suckled.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:39, Reply)
"Hey, this one's only got one dangly bit!"(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:43,
Reply)
it's not suckling like a baby wouldbaby cows are quite a bit bigger and more powerful, so the suckling is the same.
You pull and squeeze when you milk a cow.
I'm fairly sure that milking machines just do the squeezing, with a bit of suction,
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:43,
Reply)
they could reason as muchjust because people were less advanced technologically and such, doesn't mean they were retards.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:51,
Reply)
Yes, but if pulling and sqeezing didn't work to obtain lady milkwhy would they think it would on cow milk?
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:54, Reply)
because of the different shape of the teatand the observation of a baby cow acquiring the milk
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:57,
Reply)
You are thinking too much about this.And as much as I would like to stay here and discuss whether Stone Age people sucked cows off or not, I'm off to work.
(expect me back online in five minutes)
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:59, Reply)
it hasn't required any real thoughtalso, I'm really fucking bored
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 16:01,
Reply)
Or probably killed a cow and drunk the milk from the udderthen later realised they didn't have to kill the cow.
(, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:56, Reply)
There must be a farmer, somewhere, who, on a cold lonely morning in the milking shed thought to himself:"It squeezes and sucks, eh?" *zip*
And then shortly after:
"OH GOD! OH, THE UNIMAGINABLE PAIN! SO MUCH BLOOD!"
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:52,
Reply)
How many bovines do you think he had to go throughuntil he found a female?
(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:39,
Reply)
I imagine they probably knew the difference(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:41,
Reply)
I was attempting humourattempting
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:44,
Reply)
*slowly shakes head*(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:46,
Reply)
Claim it.We got one as a housewarming gift and it was fucking lovely.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
speaking of foodI'm going to make an apple crumble for my parents, hopefully it will take their mind off what a horrible doley failure I am right now.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:33,
Reply)
Not to mention your predilection for gyrating round a pole half undressed.(
girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:35,
Reply)
oh they're fine with thatit's Wiggy's grandma who thinks I'm a slag for it.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
no you're notyou're an entrepreneur. jo said your corsets were stunning. so there!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 15:36,
Reply)
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