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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Ah go on then
Following on from that, what are the things about you that you hope the opposite sex find attractive? Be warned that emo 'I have no good traits' answers will result in you being cast out and forced to fetch Rice Crispie cakes and copies of Heat magazine for us more worthy individuals.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:40, 232 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I am awesome.
But that doesn't seem to be enough.

And I have a radioactive nipple. You'd think that would draw the geeks
in.

Edit - Al said I have nice hair and a pretty face : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:41, Reply)
I always hope they will like my ranting on obscure subjects
and my awesome punning skills
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:41, Reply)
i have a lovely pair of tits
and a minge and working legs and eyes and stuff

its all gone a bit gay in here
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:45, Reply)
Place is full of bummers.
Didn't you know?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:47, Reply)
its dead fucking needy

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:48, Reply)
Nah! just forum banter innit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:49, Reply)
i fucking doubt that

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:49, Reply)
RICE CRISPIE CAKES

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:51, Reply)
I NEED YOU ROSALICIOUS!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:52, Reply)
validaaaaaaaaaaate meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:53, Reply)
i most certainly will fucking not

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:58, Reply)
*Validates*
*validates fucking hard*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:58, Reply)
Quick, introduce some testosterone!
To the thread, not your a minge and working legs and eyes and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:47, Reply)
i cant
im watching telly
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:56, Reply)
My general air of quiet brilliance.
And my enormous cock.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:46, Reply)
Maybe it's a bit too quiet.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:54, Reply)
charm and wit

(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:49, Reply)
And how is that working for you?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:04, Reply)
oh ffs
I don't come off very funny online but I have a fucking fabulous personality.
It's just not enough for anyone, though.
Where's a dating site for the fat and uglies? Gawd.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:49, Reply)
www.thenorthofengland.co.uk
That'll see you sorted out K.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:50, Reply)
That's all the fucking way over there.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:51, Reply)
And I made it up too!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:53, Reply)
*facepalm*

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:54, Reply)
Sorry K.
I was under the impression that ALL Americans were fat? How can being a bit 'lunchy' be a disadvantage on your side of the pond?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:02, Reply)
I suppose you're the size of an ethiopian child, then.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:07, Reply)
Well yeah I am, less bloated, obviously.
But people always say they're fat when they're not.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:09, Reply)
I saw a Guardian article
on the ugly bug site
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:23, Reply)
No idea what the opposite sex find attractive.
But I'm not changing for anyone! Like me, puns and all, or don't.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:49, Reply)
^ this
I am who I am, and if you don't like it you can fuck off.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:53, Reply)
I've tried being me and I've tried being who they want me to be.
Nothing works.

I haven't tried being a dog though.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:57, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFXbdg02G_s
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:00, Reply)
Don't ever change, Blousie
I love you and so do all the regular OT-ers. I'd rather die cold and alone than change who I am because of someone else.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:01, Reply)
You'll die cold if you don't move to a place without fucking storage heaters.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:02, Reply)
Grrrrrr!
I'll be your dawg.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:05, Reply)
I'll have that song in my head ALL NIGHT now.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:24, Reply)
I'm quite toasty at the minute actually
It's a mere -3 outside and my electric blanket is on full whack.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:07, Reply)
How many 'gay points' does the following get me?
I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:57, Reply)
Lots
La Cage Aux Folles is awesome though, I went to see it in London in January.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:00, Reply)
Hahahaha!
I love this song.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:06, Reply)
What does this not surprise me in the slightest?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:07, Reply)
Pfft
you knew the lyrics, you massive queen.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:08, Reply)
Yeah, well, umm, err.... you have storage heaters.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:19, Reply)
I do
but this merely makes me cold occasionally, not a raging bumlord.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:20, Reply)
I'm not a bumder.
Wanna talk about football? Or birds? Fit birds I mean.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:21, Reply)
Football, to borrow a phrase of yours
is BENT. And I don't fancy women. I will cheerfully point out pretty women or women with cracking boobs to my boyfriend, when I have one, and I can appreciate them, but they really don't do anything for me. In the spirit of scientific enquiry I checked, and I found my original hypothesis to be valid.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:25, Reply)
You bumder.
You don't like dead fit wimmin or football. What a bum-lover you are.

this hasn't really worked has it?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:27, Reply)
Not really, no.

(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:30, Reply)
At least I lost the Abba pundown.
Is that enough to save me?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:31, Reply)
*ponders*
probably not. But women secretly love men who are in touch with their feminine side, as long as they're not pinching their knickers. (and sometimes even then. Especially then, in a few cases)
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:37, Reply)
: )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:39, Reply)
*Makes notes about what women secretly love*
What else do they like?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:40, Reply)
i dont
i like men to put my shelves up and catch spiders and sit there knowing all things about sport and cars and shit. in return i dont mind cooking and washing their pants

i cant stand those fucking metrosexual tossers
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:40, Reply)
Naw, a bit of metrosexuality is alright
but it's maximum 20:80 metrosexual/GRRR manly.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:45, Reply)
not on my watch love

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:46, Reply)
Would your watch go to 20:59 before going to 21:00?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:49, Reply)
i dont even own a watch

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:50, Reply)
No watch sounds more accurate than the one berk uses.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:53, Reply)
oh man i cant be dealing with this scrolly reply thing

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)
See my profile.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:18, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:20, Reply)
My sense of humour mainly
I have had many men look at me strangely when I try to explain why I'm giggling or what the innuendo is or how the fact that the woman that's just walked past who looks like a pig in a wig is hilarious. I find many weird and inexplicable things amusing and I like men who laugh at my jokes (or crazy monologues when I get going) instead of looking at me like I've just ritually slaughtered their firstborn.
I'd also quite like to be appreciated for being awesome, being clever and having very pretty eyes, and for a man to be completely unaware (or at least unbothered) by my saggy/stretchy/wobbly bits.

Christ, I don't want much, do I?
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:50, Reply)
Don't forget you bake good cakes.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:52, Reply)
Well obviously I like to be appreciated for my cooking/baking skills too

(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:55, Reply)
*bun in the oven joke*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:21, Reply)
Fuck that RIGHT off
I would possibly go so far as to say I have a pregnancy phobia.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:31, Reply)
Oh God this
I don't want children, and pregnant women who ask me to touch their stomach are at risk of copious amounts of vomit
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:32, Reply)
Isn't it the pregnant woman who is supposed to do the throwing up? Usually in the morning.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:34, Reply)
I touched my sisters belly when she was pregnant
the baby kicked and I leapt a good 6 inches in the air and screamed. She laughed, but I was like HAVE YOU NOT SEEN ALIEN, WOMAN?!
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:36, Reply)
Precisely
It's more than a bit scary. I have no idea why but the whole thing creeps me out
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:16, Reply)
leaving them alive

(Technical xtc - Furious Internet, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:52, Reply)
I thought 'being her brother' would have been your answer.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:54, Reply)
are you accusing this blue namer of being bert?
because I think you're accusing this blue namer of being bert
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:57, Reply)
it wouldn't
be the 1st time
(Technical xtc - Furious Internet, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:59, Reply)
There has been no denial yet though!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:00, Reply)
cousins only
I'm not from East Anglia!
(Technical xtc - Furious Internet, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 21:57, Reply)
i dunno, probably the same things i'd hope the same sex find attractive, which is to say, me.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:16, Reply)
in a dress

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:16, Reply)
I like a man who's not afraid to show his feminine side.
*gaz me*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:18, Reply)
is this some kind of trap?

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:19, Reply)
It's a mantrap.
I am a cougar and I am in the process of trapping you like a rabbit or a beaver or something.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:21, Reply)
good grief, what's a girl to do

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:24, Reply)
Give in.
And prepare to be disappointed.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:26, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:27, Reply)
I have nice eyes
/cop-out.

I would hope my sense of humour and the fact that I don't take life seriously and thus do not demand immediate committment.

Edit: actually I would hope they were at least mildly attracted to me, or at least willing to overlook physical deficiencies in favour of sparkling and scintillating conversation*

*The above may be misleading and biased. I hold no responsibility for the possible lie factor
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:21, Reply)
And you are young enough to have that air of innocence about you.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:22, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:23, Reply)
Sorry I actually laughed out loud at that

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:24, Reply)
Have you written to Santa yet Amberl? :)
He needs to get your letter otherwise he won't know what you want.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:30, Reply)
I get the innocent looking thing a lot
it bewilders me. Is there a picture of me in an attic looking mildly debauched and dishevelled?

I don't want anything from Santa
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:31, Reply)
You just aren't as old and cynical as most around here.
And I for one am jealous.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:33, Reply)
please see below

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:34, Reply)
I'm not going on a 'girlie bash'
I might have quoted Gloria Gaynor further up the page, but that's it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:37, Reply)
I was thinking more of berk's comment on me
than of inviting you to an exclusive massive fun bash
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:43, Reply)
I know.
I was being silly.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:48, Reply)
Holy fuck, your profile just freaked the shit out of me!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:40, Reply)
Amberl is lovely
but she's even less innocent and more misanthropic than I am.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:32, Reply)
Haha at least one person has my measure!

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:33, Reply)
We must do the girly bash thing with Rswipe next year : )
It will be so much fun.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:34, Reply)
It definitely will :)
I shall keep a space clear for it whatever happens. I'll even attempt to not get too drunk
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:36, Reply)
What the hell would you want to do a thing like that for?
I will promise not to get vomit-in-the-street-falling-over drunk, but drunk I shall surely be. It's going to be awesome.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:39, Reply)
I imagine it'll be like a really bad hen-night.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)
fuck you Jeff :)
it will be nothing like a hen night
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:43, Reply)
A gaggle of drunk women is ALWAYS like a hen-night.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:45, Reply)
Imagine all you like
it's going to be 24 carat win and you're just jealous that you haven't been invited.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:44, Reply)
hahahaha
Nope. I know how women work, every 15 minutes you'd troop off for a piss en masse and be in the toilet for 25 minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:46, Reply)
I never go to the loo with other people
and I pee really quickly. Toilets are not for hanging around in
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)
But it happens doesn't it? Women decending in groups to the toilets.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
yeah
I never understood it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
Not if you're me
I'll go with other people if I need to go when they're going, but I've never really understood the group piss thing. Toilets are for having a wee and possibly redo-ing your makeup. They are not party central.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)
Clearly I've always associated with the cottaging types of your species

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)
You can't blame me for the company you're keeping
unless I am it!
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:11, Reply)
I just went for a piss.
ALL BY MYSELF.

(That is a statement of fact, not a sentimental song).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:15, Reply)
Erm, and?
Do you want applause? You're a bit old to need congratulating on having managed to go for a solo wee.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)
Best thing about being old
is that you can just 'have' a piss without all that tedious mucking about with actually 'going' somewhere to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)
ooh you've persuaded me
that took a lot of effort!
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:42, Reply)
Are you more or less misanthropic than the crossbow cannibal?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:37, Reply)
I have a mysterious ability to disappear for long periods of time

Girls seem to like this
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:36, Reply)
Not women though.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:38, Reply)
^ this
it's just fucking irritating and downright rude.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)
Unfortunately not
Lovely to hear from you though BGB
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)
You too Mr Ape but I'm off to bed now.
Live long and prosper : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:43, Reply)
Yoish

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:43, Reply)
Nighty night

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:45, Reply)
Long hair, beards, tattoos.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)
Are you tying to attract goblins?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:43, Reply)
pretty ones, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:44, Reply)
and about 5 stone extra padding.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:43, Reply)
In that case trolls...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:44, Reply)
I would like to apply the same caveat, if I may?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:45, Reply)
But of course, only pretty trolls for you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:46, Reply)
That'll do me just fine. Has everyone gone to bed?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:47, Reply)
Seems so, do we know each other?
If not, how do you do?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:48, Reply)
I don't think so,
how do you do? I used to be Bobby Pires but don't hold that against me.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)
You sound like a really unfunny Bill Bailey.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:47, Reply)
Bill Bailey then?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:48, Reply)
haha any comedy combined with music is shit

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:51, Reply)
unless its benny hill and then im laughing

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:51, Reply)
Shaddap Your Face!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:52, Reply)
gash innit

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:54, Reply)
Was a madda you, hey?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)
you are both so very wrong

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:53, Reply)
i bet you like that fucking minchin prick an all

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)
ello rosalicious
you all festive yet?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)
ive had that tree up since mid nov i cant fucking wait
you sorted for presents and ting?
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
all done and wrapped today. Have you ever tried wrapping a childs watering can?
fucking impossible mate. I have my christmas tunes in the car too.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
"Have you ever tried wrapping a childs watering can?"
Fucking paedo. Hanging's too good for the likes of you, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
hahahahahah POTD

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:00, Reply)
kids toys are fucking murder
i got two of those animal teddy things that look alive and glow and fucking hell they look like a little pair of wrapped turds with bows on
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)
make a little wrapping paper bag
by wrapping 5 sides of an appropriately sized box, put toy in, add bow
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)
Then take them to Portugal and murder them to death.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)
i cant see this working, youre talking madness here

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)
it's easier than wrapping weird shaped shit

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:08, Reply)
i might just use tin foil

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:10, Reply)
i once wrapped all my presents in
tinfoil and electrical tape. Apparently it made them a bastard to open
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:11, Reply)
that fucking settles it, im getting involved in this

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:16, Reply)
Wrapping presents in tinfoil and electrical tape
Is the perfect way of hiding them from children with an Illuminati fetish.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)
hell yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
gawd

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
I like him too!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)
He's had his moment
The future is Micheal Macintyre and John Bishop.

Those chaps are HEEEEE-LARIOUS!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)
john Bishop?? he sucks

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
Both rubbish I reckon.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
More rubbish than words can describe

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
What have you done this evening Crunchy?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)
Written 'you are both so very wrong' on a comedy website is my guess, Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
pretty much, yes
that and watching bill baily on QI :)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
But she has written that on OT as well.
What is this 'comedy' website you speak of?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
I don't know Jeff.
I get so confused lately.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)
Has the confusion set in since late last week?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)
Pretty much, yeah.
I watched EastEnders before and thought it was a cutting edge social documentary.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:09, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:15, Reply)
My awesome dress sense.
By 'awesome' I mean 'individual', and by 'individual' I mean 'no fucker in their right mind would go out dressed the way I do sometimes'.

Still, love of a good woman and all that...
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:54, Reply)

good blind
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
Shurrup, you.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
I try to be nice to people and I'm "cuddly". And like Amberl, I have the cop-out of having nice eyes.
But my eyes are quite nice. That's generally the thing I'm complimented on.

I've narrowed down my list of the 3 things my next man must have.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)
My eyes are quite nice, I'm told.
When they're not trying to focus through all the alcohol.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)
I've got odd eyes
(as in, non-identical) One's got a massive brown splodge in it.

How are you this fine evening?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
I FOUND MADDIE
D
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
You are David Bowie aicmfp.
Not so bad, Lampers. How about you?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)
Nah, it's only a patch, I'm not proper wall-eyed
I just got in from a nice meal with school friends. Saw the hostel I ended up in after the last Manc bash. I have pick and mix. It's not all bad at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)
I have wine and an erect Christmas tree.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
Ooh lawdy.
I'm going to be "making" a "gingerbread house" later on in the week, if you know what I mean.

I mean exactly what I said.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)
I'm making lebkuchen tomorrow
mmmMMMMmmmm.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:08, Reply)
Filth!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:12, Reply)
No biscuits for you then
*sticks tongue out* I'll eat your share.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:13, Reply)
Oh, you said 'lebkuchen'.
I'm sorry, I thought you said 'lesbian porn'.

What am I like, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:15, Reply)
Wishful thinking...

(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)
Nom nom nom nom nom nom
I love them.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)
They are the shizzle
Can give you the recipe if you like?
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)
Ooh that would be awesome
I am cooking for my sister's homecoming tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)
Hang on
I shall fish it out from the recesses of my laptop/internet and gaz it you.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:25, Reply)
Merci beaucoup
I have nothing to offer in return, I'm afraid.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)
Don't be daft!
it's perfectly fine :)
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:31, Reply)
what 3 things are they?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)
1. Must be nice to me
2. Must sleep with me
3. Must not leave me after 2 weeks.

Sadly only seem to be getting one or two things at the mo.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:01, Reply)
not a bad list, but add
4. you must like them, too
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)
5. Questionable personal hygiene.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)
No, it's three things for the next fella I will let into my life

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
I'm only messing pal. I hope you find someone you like.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)
that's not the problem, it's the them liking me
Mentals are a bit hard to come by nowadays.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)
They are out there. Just change all your social venues and prey on fresh meat.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)
Hang on, this IS O/T, right...
Otherwise known as 'mentals are us'.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)
Our own little desiccated part of the internet

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:12, Reply)
Like, a bit dried up and smelling of coconut?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:13, Reply)
Sorry, has to be done...
life spam wallet.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)
That's the thing
everyone was dipping into my spam wallet and I was becoming bankrupt :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:18, Reply)
Too many withdrawals and not enough deposits.
I hear ya.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)
There's just no one on the horizon, Deej.
I'm not happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:21, Reply)
Have you tried dating a sailor?
Every time his ship left port, within hours he'd be 'on the horizon'. Job done.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:23, Reply)
I know a sailor b3tan, now you mention it
He has a lovely girlfriend.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)
I think mutual liking is necessary

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)
Are you sleeping with Meatloaf?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)
I'm not sleeping with anyone.
The last guy was only 1 really, and 3 because we're on the same course. The main man in my life was pretty much 2.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)
Here you go sister.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8JA9Qs2Mho

Let the tubby Yank cheer you up.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)
Didn;t realise what I was unwittingly referencing there

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:18, Reply)
Never mind.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)
Yeah
nice eyes are the thing people fall back on with me
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
I just have the hair
it's like a smokescreen for everything else
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:00, Reply)
But you have killer cheekbones and a pretty face.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)
do tell lamps?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
I'm in!
- at least half of one working testicle
- Serial killer facial hair
- A French Bulldog
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 22:59, Reply)
1. Meh, I ignore the balls
2. I like my men smooth and hairless
3. A Korat, and then we're talking.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)
Smooth and hairless?! Smooth and hairless?!
PEDO, PEDO, hanging's too good etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)
I just don't like facial hair! :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)
WELL FUCK YOU THEN!
I've never been so insulted, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:08, Reply)
It's alright DG
I like facial hair.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:09, Reply)
Phew, that's alright then.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:14, Reply)
Try shaving, or if it's lightweight maybe just some peroxide

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:08, Reply)
Where to begin....
I read this as 'felch rice krispie cakes' by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)
You fucking would, you pervert.
Where have you been, eh? What time do you call this? Comb your hair. Stand up straight. Don't look at me in that tone of voice. Etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)
Also, I'd like to point out that my dream woman will be a singer
This comes from one of my exes, I now adore singers. There's nothing like the flow of pride you see from the girl you love, singing on stage.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 23:18, Reply)
I agree with that*
unless they've got a shit voice obviously.


*not that I have ever been out with a singer
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 9:01, Reply)

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