Fuck Chompy and his BBC News link.
Going anywhere nice this year?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:22, 235 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Not at this rate.
You?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

What, slowly?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Going to Bristol next weekend
Then back in Blackpool first weekend in March. Oh, and Bradford in August, as usual.

Beat that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

That's some tour, young man.
No equivalent to Vietnam this year?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Well remembered, sir
Ms Foxtrot wants to go to Argentina, to learn to Tango in Buenos Aires. I would say this sounds a bit fanciful, but it's her 30th this year and she tends to manage whatever she sets her mind on.

But even if we go it won't be as good as Bradford and Blackpool, so it was hardly worth mentioning, really
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Too right.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Morning darling

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Morning, how are you?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

On my third cup of coffee, so not too shabby at all
Lunch in ten minutes. Might go to the pub. How are you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Usual really
Still skint, still writing, still damn angry at the world.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Am starting to think that trip to Bradford might be less fun than anticipated
If it's just going to be me buying you drinks whilst listening to you rant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Damn, how did you find out my plans?
It's just after my birthday, I'll have some money.

No promises on the ranting though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

You know I said I'd bring you a birthday present?
What effect does that have on your rantiness?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Surprisingly less ranty

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

*calls Monty*
3 grams, please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Yay
And what will we do on the second day?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)

You'll be fed up of me within 2 hours of meeting me
I guarantee it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Well then I'll hide from you.
By the way, I didn't pull the vicar on Sunday. I didn't pull *anyone* on Sunday, despite wearing the most inappropriate dress I could find. I was going to, but then I remembered that I was in Barnsley so it just was never going to be worth it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Blackpool? In March?
I'm so sorry. I presume it's a dancing thing though, rather than going there willingly?
(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

God yes
We go twice a year for dancing and it's always January and February. Glorious weather for a visit to the seaside. This year it's in MARCH. I'm sure this will make all the difference. Barry is right.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

It's not all as bad as Blackpool
...honest.
(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Defend Manchester
I fucking dare you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

It's rich and abundant in great pubs with excellent ranges of ales to appeal to Sad Old Men like me
And its Winter Ale Festival is without par.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

But, and this, like Beth Ditto's, is a big but
Those pubs are full of people from Manchester
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Funnily enough, wherever you go, the pubs will be full of people from that area
And, whilst I will admit that I was largely quite intoxicated during most of these excursions, the atmosphere in most of the Mancunian pubs was generally more jovial than in most London boozers.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

That's like saying that syphilis fills one with a greater sense of joie de vivre than does gonhorrea
The most disappointing pubs I've been to in that respect were in Dublin. I was expecting boisterous gaelic bohnomie; instead I got dead-eyed musicians peddling identical Levellers-lite drivel, eyeing the room for a fellow Paddy amongst the sea of tourists and immigrants. All of whom were looking into their wallets and feeling like they'd been raped.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Your counterarguments give me the distinct impression that you don't particularly like The Pub.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

It's more that I don't like London pubs
Although this is also due to the aforementioned wallet-raping. That and massive pretentiousness. You don't get that in Norwich.

Speaking of which, I'm on lunch now, and I'm going to the pub.

So there.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Of course he doesn't.
It's all about the cocktail bars and cabaret with Darth.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Manchester is ace.
The rest of Lancashire is not, places like Blackburn/Preston/Bolton/Blackpool/Burnley need quarantining. All the people in the aforementioned places are backwards messes with funny shaped heads.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Preston is good for a night out, but I agree on the rest of the places.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I heartily recommend Chorley
I pulled there once - when I was young and good looking. Come to mention it, she was neither....
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:08, Reply)

The Northern Quarter is a brilliant blend of great places to eat, drink and shop
Great architecture. Affleck's is always worth a visit. Great transport links out. Great theatre scene. 5th.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Affleck's isn't bad, Quiggins was better.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I would rather kill myself than ever go back to Blackpool. In fact most of Lancashire needs burning down.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

South of France, all my close friends, pool, gin on tap, lots of shade, good food, midnight swimming.
/ac

And Belfast. On Thursday. For the first time. Kind of really excited.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Well done on mentioning shade as a plus

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I burn horribly and I don't look good with red blotchy skin
and I do not, do NOT tan.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Snappety

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I enjoy being lily white
apart from my red blotchy bits.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Oh me too
Unlike other scousers my make up matches or is sometimes a shade lighter than my skin, rather than 12 shades more terracotta.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Being burnt is a state of mind.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

You sound like my family

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Only the weak minded get sun burnt.
*milks being quarter Spanish for all it's worth*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Oh man, a pool full of gin!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

If you excuse the fatness and the horrible hair
Pretty much, yeah
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Awesome!
I want gin now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Gin and ginger ale
Drink of champions.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

JD and Crabbies is the drink of champions.
Away with your gin!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Congratulations.
You've managed to concoct something that sounds even more horrific than your dress sense.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

It's fantastic.
Double JD and a bottle of Crabbies, served with ice and a slice of lime. Very refreshing, and gets you hammered.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Hmm. I will concede that two wrongs can make a right, and in some cases two revolting ingredients can combine to make something palatable.
(cf Tequila and Triple Sec)

However, JD tastes like somebody poured cheap vanilla essence into a bottle of Bell's, and Crabbies, whilst not unpleasant, is far too sweet for its own good. If you want an alcoholic ginger beer with a nice, balanced flavour, Williams Bros of Alloa do a good one, and The Hole in the Wall in Portsmouth does a great job of making its own.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

If they were available near me, I'd give them a try
And the only reason it's JD is because everywhere sells that. It has also been used with Grant's and a cheap Jim Beam rip off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)

In your defence, yes, it's not as if you're wasting a measure of perfectly serviceable single malt on such a concoction
As for Williams Bros, I'm fairly sure I found a bottle of one or two of their other beers in the rather magnificent off-licence near Todmorden station.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

It'd be a thorough waste for me to drink a decent single malt
As I don't know if I'd be able to tell the difference between that and a shit one.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

*high-fives*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I'm sooooo pleased you dyed that bloody horrible hair away.

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

You've never seen me with my natural coloring, you know.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I'm going somewhere on Sunday, but it's a surprise.
I'm hoping it's somewhere nice, and not Hull or Dunstable.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Ooh surprises. That's exciting.
It might just be the moors and an unmarked grave, though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I wouldn't put it past him.
I'm all for a bit of excitement but I don't want to get arrested.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

well, I can guarantee you it won't be WsM
he refuses to come back here because our lack of spotless minimalism makes him itch.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

To brown town?

(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

see Dunstable

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

*Sees*
...
*Longs to un-see*
(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I'm going to St Ives for a week immediately following my wedding
because that's about all we can afford.

I intend to go camping and stuff quite a lot this summer.

I doubt I'll leave the SW much though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Are you getting married this year?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

yeah, september 10th

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Oh gosh that's soon. Congratulations.
Where are you getting married?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

in a Georgian hotel in the centre of Exeter
www.olaves.co.uk

thanks :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Well done
Now you'll have Chompy turning up trying to be the British equivalent of The Wedding Crashers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

heh
I'll have bouncers.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

That's no way to talk about your wife's tits etc etc

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

yes it is

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

*makes sure his name's down so he can get in*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

That does look rather nice.
Did you manage to get her to wear the metal shoes?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

haven't been able to find them
at the moment she has her eye on some shiny purple hush puppies
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I've never been to the South West.
I also definately cannot afford a proper holiday so camping may be the only option this year.
Any particular areas you would recommend?
(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

depends what you are after
but I'd recommend St Ives. It's lovely, nowhere near as full of cunts as Padstow. Great food, lovely scenary, nice places to stay.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

If someone's visiting your neck of the woods for the first time is that where you'd suggest then?
Because I want to mooch about that part of the country at some point this year or next.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

it depends on what you are after really
somewhere near Exeter might be a better bet for exploration of Dartmoor and stuff. I'd suggest somewhere halfway between, but that would get you Plymouth and the surrounding area, and no one wants to stay there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Plymouth sounds like an affliction

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

it is, believe me
Exeter is nice, although there isn't a great deal here. You'd be surprised at how small a city can be. Unless you've been to Wells (which is a lovely place)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I asked a pub quiz question about Wells on Sunday

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

what was it?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

"What is England's smallest cathedral city?"
Everyone answered St. Albans.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

those fools
the cathedral in Wells is delightful

you should visit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I just might

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

oh you should, it's gorgeous
I'll show you round if you like
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Will that be your seventh wife?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I like what you did there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

THANKS

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Want to go for a pint whilst your down?
Meet the family perhaps?

Feel free to tell me to fuck off, it's you honeymoon afterall
( Peej, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Tenerife with my nephew in May.
Next year it's India fo sho.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Whatcha gonna do in India?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Well it's either Goa or Sri Lankha.
I'm going to go and find myself......innit.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

There are plenty of more interesting, beautiful places in India than Goa.
I used to go there for weekends when I lived in Pune as it was fun, but if you plan on being there for more than a few days I would strongly recommend Hampi and the Kerala backwaters.
( wanderlust, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Dance about like a hippy in a big hat?

(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Yup!
I have a suitable chapeau already.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I'm going travelling in Croatia for 10 days
no bugger will come with me so I'm going on my own.
(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Croatia looks amazing

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Why don't you both go!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I've learned that I'm viewed as somewhat of a cunt on here, and as such 5 minutes would be too much in my company
I think I'd let her off for saying no, haha.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

My intolerance is legendary
I'm not saying you are a cunt at all, but I'd rather not take the chance of you getting on my tits ruining my holiday. Plus, you can't afford your rent let alone 10 days in Croatia :P
(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Haha, very true!
When I reach 25th March, only then can I even begin to consider planning the rest of my year.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I dunno, but being followed around by a chubby in a green day t-shirt sobbing into a tissue with red pen marks on his arms would be understandably taxing

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

That's why you're not invited, I assume.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

NO, YOU'RE IT !!!11!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Yes it does
that is why I'm going. I've wanted to for ages and I figure, fuck it, if I go on my own I can please myself about where I go and what I do, and I'm going to have an awesome time.
(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I'd go with you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Smooth.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I'm quite capable of going on holiday with someone without sleeping with them.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Yes, their choice though.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Careful you're almost not calling me a rapist.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Fortunately I tend to steer clear of memes.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

See reply to AA
I'd rather go on my own than with someone I don't really know and might get tremendously irritated by.
(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

That's almost certain, in fact I'd Guarantee it.
edit: Where abouts are you going? How much is it going to cost? I'm looking for a fairly cheap holiday if I don't get Glastonbury tickets.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

flying in to dubrovnik, out of split
from/to manchester. it's probably cheaper out of one of the london airports. i'm staying in hostels. all in all with spending money it'll be about £600 I reckon. which isn't actually that cheap, but meh, I want to go.
(berk, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

That's the top end of what I'd want to spend
but I'd probably camp with some friends so it might be cheaper.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

is berk the new applebite by any chance?
the slobbering pandering hits new heights whenever she posts these days!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

At the moment, I'd go on holiday with anyone
I've not had a full day off work since september.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

that does suck a bit
having a holiday in the diary makes everything much much more palatable
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I'm glad it's not just me who's noticed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

no, it is genuinely very noticeable
almost as bad as me and monty.

except that monty doesn't tell me to fuck off all the time.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Don't think so
Would love to, but don't want to go on my own, and the friends I'd want to go away with will likely be unavailable for the rest of the year/their lives.

Growing up is fucking shit.

Then again, I'm keeping my eye on a couple of festivals, either Bloodstock or Sonisphere for me this year!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Are they too busy being dramatic?

(TheColonel, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Nope, the 3 I have in mind have good reasons
K has just started her new job as a Nurse, and is trying to save up to get her own place. L will be getting back after a year in Singapore, and D is becoming a father at the end of May/beginning of June.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I'll just be happy if I'm not in Uxbridge for a while
I have other things to spend money on at the moment.
( Kroney, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Unless I get more surprise costs/expenditures
I'll be going to Japan in August for two weeks of sight-seeing, sake-slamming and slitty-eyed-slut sexing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Sounds superb

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

*aliteration highfives*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Haha!
Oh Labia-san....you love me long time.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Always!
I'm big in Japan.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

EVERYONE's big in Japan.
They're fucking tiny over there. I'd recommend making yourself thoroughly sick of the Oompa Loompa song before you go, otherwise you'll get yourself stabbed. In the knee.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I heard that they have sideways fannies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

From what I've seen they're all pixelated

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Sounds painful

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

No, I'm working all summer.
I'd rather be working than go anywhere though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Not with a baby on the way
Mayeb to my friends house in the Dordogne and maybe somewhere in the Autumn, but that seems a long way away
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I'm going to Germany in month
and I'm hoping to go to New York in the Autumn
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I've been invited
To Ireland, Portugal, Italy, Spain, the Lakes, and Brighton. I cannot afford any of this.

I'm going to Beatherder and to a midsummer weekend, like I do every year. That's it. Bah.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Morning Bella
You read Jan Moir yet? It's good for a laugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Yeah, I read it.
This is funnier: istyosty.com/a8t

In summary: Nick Griffin = bastard child of all left wing politicians, everyone on the left is both racist and accuse normal people of racism at the drop of a hat, more basic research fails, the BBC telling people about Tory policies is done because of left wing bias and if they were privatised, they wouldn't be so left wing.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

What does istyosty stand for? I want to be able to remember the site.
Their 'wtf' page doesn't work.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I believe he stands for fairer taxes and a right to take massive drugs

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Click it again after it goes to the home page

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Can you not just tell us, since doing that doesn't seem to work

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

WTF?

This site was set up after reading this. I thought it would be more fair to the statistics if only people who actually liked the daily mail appeared as a "hit" on the site. We are a proxy service enabling users to view that particular site without necessarily visiting it. Pages are cached here for a few days so many hits on a particular story will only count as one initial hit on that website (until the page is re-cached). Hits to the homepage however, are updated every few hours to keep it reasonably current. This system has the added advantage of providing anonymity from their invasive tracking and the advertisements from companies that should know better (we strip the ads, referer information and the javascript by default).
Wha?

This process is entirely legal - we are just a proxy and we do not permanently store any copyright protected content on our servers so keep your knickerbockers on (in fact we don't even let our proxied pages appear in search engine results). We urge you to share the shortened links provided by istyosty.com if you would like to link to the mail to point out how ignorant they are. As well as denying them hits, you'll be damaging their search engine ranking as you won't be linking directly to them.' ;)

Feel free to send insults/kind words/threats/further ideas to the contact address.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

You should write for the Daily Mail
hey Al, I had a pie the other day and thought of you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I can't see where that says what istyosty actually stands for though?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

But what does "istyosty" mean? I can never remember that, if it was something like "The daily mail without adverts" to "tdmawa", then I could remember it.
I think it's still theft, they're stealing DM's advertising revinue while still displaying their content. It's like when you record something off the telly onto a VHS and then make copies to hand it around to mates, even skipping the adverts, it doesn't matter that they only keep it for a few days.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:32, Reply)

The logo looks like Itsy Otsy.
Dunno what it means.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Yeh', I suppose I could remember it capitalised like that with the space as there is one one char diff between each 'word'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Oh good christ.
People actually agree with him? Fucking hell.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

I agree quite strongly with Jan Moir's article today.
Celebrities tweeting their condolences for the whole world to see is a load of egotistical and self promoting bollocks.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

She doesn't do irony though, apparently.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I know the manner in which she wrote it makes her rather hypocritical, but I still think she's bang on the money this time.
Plus she winds people up which makes her class in my book.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Yes, there is nothing better than someone winding other people up by being a nasty bigotted shit.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

She really is a turd, isn't she.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

She is a total knob, I just find it amazing people let themselves get so wound up about what she writes.
She clearly goes out to get a reaction with her articles (raising peoples' awareness of the Dail Mail in the process) and succeeds every time. Everyone should ignore her and the knobheads that employ her rather than get angry about it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Or burn her to death.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Because many people don't think she is writing to get a reaction, they think she is writing the truth
and what's more worrying is that she probably isn't writing to get a reaction, she actually is a cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I disagree
I think it's nice that there are messages coming from them. Yes, I'm sure there are more private ways of doing it, but would you want constant phone calls/texts/visitors at a time like that?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)

The cynic in me thinks it's all about the celebrities tying themselves in with it to boost their public image.
They're tweeting their condolences and then five minutes later promoting their latest tv show/tour/book or telling the world they had a hard boiled egg for breakfast via the same medium.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

No different from what it'd be in real life then
If a friend of mine tells me their *insert relative here* has died, I'll pass on my condolences, but once I'm off the phone, it doesn't enter my mind again, not until I send them my best wishes on the day of the funeral. It's human.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Yes but this isn't real life it's a social networking site that doesn't work in the same way as speaking to someone on the phone and then hanging up.
You can't really compare the two.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I don't think their motivations are that bad
But I do think that they shouldn't do it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I think that twitter should fuck off

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Agreed, I might ditch my account
I rarely check it, and when I do it's spammed with useless, uninteresting shit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

almost everything anyone has to say is useless and uninteresting
which is why I dislike twitter so much
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

And you can read that here

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I'm going to BGBs
Not in May, I'm just randomly going to turn up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

*Leaves the door unlocked*
And Mingles in the cupboard.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

heehee!
You'd find me in a pile of wrappers the next morning
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Like the nun in Father Ted who ate all the Easter eggs.

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

*holds head in hands*
l s
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

That would be even better

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

That's a point, I'm planning on being there.
I'm just mildly worried she'll close the curtains, and lock the door before I get there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Like she did to Gonz and Barbara and Barry that time a couple of Christmases ago

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

That was one of the worst christmases I've ever had.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Did she lock you out too?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I had to bring Barry along
and then his medication ran out, it was all kinds of nasty.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Gonz's cousin Barry?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Nah, Barry Grant
Right mental fucker, he was.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Not as mental as Tommy McArdle

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Sorry, no idea about him.
Did he shove a shotgun up someone's arse? If not, he's no Barry.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

no but he kneecapped loads of people

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I think there's been some confusion
Gonz took his Aunty Barbara, I brought my friend Barry. There was an unpleasant incident when they got a bit carried away in the back seat, and then when we got to BGB's she wasn't in and Barbara had to have a wee in a plant pot.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Oh I thought Barry was Gonz's cousin.
Are you sure they're not related? I remember Barbara needing to 'go'.
She's going to sit next to my godmother at the wedding.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

She won't she's lovely
Me on the other hand...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I know your secret, don't forget that!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Where the bodies are?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Nope, it's far worse than that.
We know you left them in BGB's cellar anyway, that's not even a secret.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

No one will ever believe you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

You mean about the fact that you're actually...*looks round*
a man a nice person?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I kinda want bobby to show up calling me a cunt
That always cheers me up and will cancel out your LIES
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

-puts on fake beard-
YOU'RE A CUNT TGB AND I DON'T LIKE YOU OR YOUR MASSIVE VAGINA DID I MENTION YOU HAVE A LARGE VAGINA AND YOU'RE A MASSIVE CUNT HUR HUR HUR
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

This is what I think of you
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

So basically you're saying that thinking of her gives you an erection?
I can't see how that would cheer anyone up.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Thinking of her being mauled by a spinosaurus gives me an erection

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)

How lovely for you.

( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I picked a dinosaur which kinda has a mohawk
Hello lovely, how are you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Hello You.
I'm OK thank you.
Last night I had a conversation with a mental woman about buying a present for someone. Said mental woman is going to let us know.
( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Ahhh *nods and winks*
Lovely stuff, keep me informed!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)

hahah
I texted mental woman last night
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I bloody love mental women.

( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)

She is fucking awesome
I am excited *jumps around*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)

After our wedding and luxury cornish honeymoon last year
I doubt I'll be getting a holiday for a very long time.

I won't even get my annual trip to Merca to see my girlies this year, because they're coming here to see me. So I get to spend what would be me American holiday money on staying in my own fucking town. And as many of you will know, my town is fucking shit.

Hopefully I'll have a wedding to go to in the next few years though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I hope so too.
You'll be coming to the 'Pool this year, and that's the Beverly Hills of the North West.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

that reminds me
I must get round to booking us some digs. I assume there's something in the city centre that rates above a one star gaff?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

www.hopestreethotel.co.uk/
Beatleslolz www.harddaysnighthotel.com/
www.cpliverpool.com/
www.radissonblu.co.uk/hotel-liverpool
www.marriott.co.uk/hotels/travel/lpllp-liverpool-marriott-hotel-city-centre/

Don't know about prices. Do NOT stay here: www.britanniahotels.com/hotels/liverpool
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)

A wedding?
OH MY GOD WHO GOT ENGAGED?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

DID SOMEONE GET ENGAGED TGB!? DID THEY!!!!? DID THEY!???

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I DON'T KNOW AL
I DON'T RECALL AMNYONE MENTIONING IT??? DO YOU??!!1111!"!!"13£%^%$yrg
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I have a sneaky suspicion.
*taps nose*
( wanderlust, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Hey Ma, wassa, alrah.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Hello Lampykins
Unfortunately I have to 'slide' now back to my underground work cave :(
( wanderlust, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Have fun
Hopefully see you soon, and the furry one.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Was it me? Sometimes I do stuff without realising.
I don't mean to do it, it's just the way I am.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Road trip to Sweden for Midsommar.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Bloodstock
*sighs*
( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Hello you, how goes?
Would there be any chance that you'd share the recipe for those mini naans? I need them.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Hello Roots
I certainly can, but not right now as it's at home. I'll try to remember to do that for you tonight.
( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)

You little cracker.
Sometimes I can still taste them when I close my eyes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I'm glad they were a success - they weren't even my 'best ever'.

( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Ooh me too please, I learning to make curries and could do with some bredy goodness to mop up the sauce
So far I can make three curries *prouds*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Certainly!

( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Can you make some for me on Sunday?
You can? Awesomes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)

No.
I am already making bread rolls and cheese scones and fridge cake. I'll send you the recipe and you can make some.
( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 12:58, Reply)

*sadface*
But i'll be too blind to bake
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:02, Reply)

I can wait.

( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Cheese and chilli scones just the way I like them, eg, made by your fair hands?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Yes

( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Should be pretty good this year!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:07, Reply)

So I'm instructed.
I just go for the greasy burgers and the toilets.
( thealternativefact, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)