Let's all have a luke-warm debate.
*sets heater to Room Temperature*
Men: what's the best thing about women?
Women: what's the best thing about men?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 16:57, 191 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Men are more straightforward
this is a good thing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 16:59, Reply)

more forward

this is a good thing

except Darth.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:00, Reply)

It is?
What about when you ask "Does my bum look big in this?"
N.B. I am not saying you've got a fat arse.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Are you saying I've got a fat arse?! *huff*
And I wouldn't ask a question like that, for fear of hearing 'yes.' Being straightforward doesn't mean you can't tell a polite lie anyway
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:15, Reply)

It's true, I think a little forthrightness is a benefit in any human.
How are you dude?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Good thanks
how about you? You should come to Oxford some time and have crispy smoked beef
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:18, Reply)

I really should.
Coming to BGB's? And... erm... melting. Not enough sleep an odd boy makes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Is there a bash at BGBs?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Yes, May bank holiday (late May).

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:44, Reply)

no that skirt doesn't make your bum look fat
It's the huge amounts of fat in your arse that make it look fat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Oh god, I saw this women today when I was walking down the road, and I swear, it was like two of the biggest watermellons I've ever seen, in her trousers.
And it bobbled up and down every time she took a step.

I swear, if she sat on my face and got to excited, I'd break a nose.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:00, Reply)

'A' nose?
why, have you more than one?
(berk, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:45, Reply)

Breasts, obviously.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Moobs and boobs?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Five points to the first poster, I almost replied to myself with this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:02, Reply)

their scent, sweat and cologne *drools*
stubble is a close second
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:02, Reply)

been to the gym today, wearing Tommy Hilfigure cologne and has three days of stubble
*waggles eyebrows*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Your failure to spell Hilfiger
means points are deducted
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:16, Reply)

*eyes up*

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:13, Reply)

Snakes with tits
It's not a good thing, it's the truth.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:03, Reply)

If it's got tits or tyres, it's gonna cost you.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:05, Reply)

They have beards.
Apply that to either, beards are great.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I tried to grow a beard recently
It didn't go overly well.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:05, Reply)

I'm not gonna lie here, a woman with a beard would freak me out.
Turn me on, but freak me out.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:07, Reply)

You should get yourself to Manchester then

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:11, Reply)

*high fives*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I'm not a fan of beards.
Lovely smooth skin. Yessss.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Nooooo.
Sexy stubble. Apart from the fact that it sandpapers your face off.
(berk, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:45, Reply)

long lovely legs and nice bottoms.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:06, Reply)

What about women?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:07, Reply)

big hairy bollocks

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:08, Reply)

The best thing about men is they can lift heavy things.
I'm sorry but that's the best I can do.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:08, Reply)

We can also throw cricket balls properly
But women have the edge when it comes to wrapping pressies dead neatly.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Awww man, you need some proper loving and no mistaking it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:09, Reply)

*weeps into glass of chardonnay*

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Oaked or unoaked?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:15, Reply)

As long as it's wet I don't care.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:16, Reply)

*enhuggles*
well, you made a new fb friend today...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Sure did : )
Who knew I was so popular.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:20, Reply)

we all did

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I checked you out, you look totally how I expected except much less fat.
Quit putting yourself down woman.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Apparently I 'can't confirm your friend request at this time'
but as soon as I can, I might.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Haha "might"
I wouldn't, I'm a terrible cunt.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Come on, I added Darth
I can't be that picky about who my friends are.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:43, Reply)

He's alright, as long as you don't mind constant updates about how shit Glee is
and people talking about football all over your shit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:50, Reply)

*chinks a lonely "Cheers!" with glass of cider*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:15, Reply)

That's reminded me
Wine o'clock beckons and I have CHEESE!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:10, Reply)

we can also kill spiders and wank.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:29, Reply)

I have a spider catcher.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:30, Reply)

whatever turns you on

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:36, Reply)

boobs and cocks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:10, Reply)

urrggh you like trannies!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:10, Reply)

best of both worlds innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:11, Reply)

having a cock in your mouth or bum can never ever be the best of any world ever!*
*unless you are one of Darth's lot (or a lady)
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:13, Reply)

The tits scare Darth, he prefers a "pure ride"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Also: Just been listening to Metallica Creeping Death
So, so good.

Carry on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:12, Reply)

What a carry on

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Women tend not to make a competition out of nothing

( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:13, Reply)

prove it...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Zing!

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Bobby's a bloke right?

( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:24, Reply)

yeah man!!!!
I was being all competitive an ting innit
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Everything in its place dear boy
Now to settle this, I shall meet you on... the footballitorium!
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:31, Reply)

boooooo!!!
no more football talk 'til arsenal are good again.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:36, Reply)

We'll be waiting a long time
I meant we should battle it out in a contest to the death*. In other news, watch BBC1 Scotland on Saturday at 12:45. My team are in the Scottish Cup semi-final.


*first to 5 goals wins.
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:41, Reply)

oo 'ello
Looks like I missed out on a heated debate that would get me all heated and stuff.

Best thing about men is they are easily exploited by the best things about women.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:17, Reply)

finished yet?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:18, Reply)

Haven't touched it today
I was cleaning and laundrying all day. I am fucking shattered, and even if I tried to finish it tonight, I would just end up writing gibberish.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:19, Reply)

fair enough pal, you know what's best.
Good luck.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:19, Reply)

thank you

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:20, Reply)

If you look sad enough
You can get men to carry heavy things for you or even give you their last rolo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:20, Reply)

am totally getting rolos tonight.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:21, Reply)

alternatively a tit flash works.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:21, Reply)

usually

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:22, Reply)

This is also true
I tend to go for sad first, then the sad leaning forward to enhance clevage whilst going pleeease.

I have no shame in getting men to do stuff for me. *sticks fingers up at Greer*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:23, Reply)

You are so going to rule the world some day.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:23, Reply)

helping ladies makes us feel manly and important, but so does having a good shit...
we are simple creatures.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:24, Reply)

*little voice* doesn't work on me
and your womanly charms are considerably less womanly when you're off your face on sangria.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:23, Reply)

pft whatevs noelykins
I don't have to use little voice on you as I have many better minions I would go to first.

If anything I would have thought sangria makes me a gazillion times more charming
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:26, Reply)

They know how to do things with electricity and stuff.
I don't. Though I was the one who found the fusebox in my house. And disconnected the washing machine.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you chose your current fellah based on his knowledge of rewiring, three-phase and appliances.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:24, Reply)

hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:25, Reply)

If I recall correctly he knows how to build a theremin.
YOUR MOVE
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:26, Reply)

BISHOP takes FLAPPY-HANDED WOOFTER.
YOUR MOVE
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:30, Reply)

I'm just saying he knows his way around a workbench
Probably as he's usually bent over one.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Sexy.
I cast aspersions on him despite not knowing pretty much anything about him, he's a lovely chap and you're lucky to have each other.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Who?

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:34, Reply)

jesus?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:35, Reply)

Jesus Christ Superstar
Rides down town on a Yamaha....
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Oh god if he's Jesus we're all fucked.
Up the arse.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:36, Reply)

My followers don't tend to stick around for the Second Coming...
_{And by 'followers,' I of course mean 'customers.'}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:47, Reply)

*whistles*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:35, Reply)

To clarify
I have built a theremin, and supervised other people in doing the same. I'm reasonably competent with electrical stuff, particularly in guitars where I've occasionally had to solder replacement components into place. And, naturally, I'm a roaring, mincing, flappy-wristed, cock-gobbling utter fucking bender, about whom a simile to "a nine-bob note" is a gross understatement.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:36, Reply)

You're a fucking legend and you know it.
I did compliments and everything. Are you coming to BGB's again?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:42, Reply)

^this
Aber will need someone to dance with.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:43, Reply)

You're too kind, sir, but thank you.
I'm hoping to. It's certainly looking more likely, particularly as I could tie it in with visiting my friend in Leeds. And it was a thoroughly good bash last year.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Where does BGB live?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:50, Reply)

In Blousie world.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:50, Reply)

A small town on the border between West Yorkshire and Greater Manchester
Nice place.

Apparently they also have a brewery round there, which I will need to investigate if I make it up this year.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:57, Reply)

Another b3ta couple? Cool.

( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:43, Reply)

OH MY GOD WHO ELSE GOT TOGETHER!?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:45, Reply)

OMG DO YOU THINK THEY'LL GET ENGAGED AND SHIT????????

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:47, Reply)

I've let the cat out the bag there, haven't I?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:45, Reply)

I can assure you that the cat was never firmly in the bag
if you get my meaning.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I think so. At least insofar as what I think you're referring to.
Of course, if you're actually making some unsavoury double entendre out of this hackneyed metaphor then I am DISGUSTED and APPALLED.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:54, Reply)

Awww I can picture it now
You dappishly walking from patron to patron in a pub, shaking their hands and earnestly apologising on behalf of your lady friend. Who's just punched them in the face.
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I love this.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:52, Reply)

For god's sake not the face
Not my beautiful face!
( djtrialprice, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:55, Reply)

I spend most of my life apologising for mr b3th
*sigh*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:53, Reply)

Wiring a plug is dead easy though
bLue to the Left bRown to the Right, green and yellow down the middle.

Note, if you are testing a fuse you have just replaced and haven't bothered putting the cover on DO NOT belive your mother when she says she has unplugged the extension lead. This is a lie so she can luagh when you fly across the room
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Now is brown earth?
And why would you need to wire a plug?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:27, Reply)

For when you have a worktop with a small hole in it and you have to take the plug off to get the wire through to the socket which is located underneath
OR when you buy bizarre american stuff and put proper plugs on them. OR if the plug that was on there was so old it fell apart OR you accidentally ran it over with something heavy and need to replace it!

Also, no. Brown is not earth just because it is earth coloured
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:28, Reply)

So is the green and yellow striped one earth?
You see this is why I am no good with electronics.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Yeah, except that it's changed again
but I can't remember what the new colours are.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:32, Reply)

brown is live, blue is neautral and yellow/green is earth
Older plugs have red, black and green wires though and I forget which way round they go..
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Those changes are fucking irritating!
Red should be live
Black should be neutral
Brown earth

This makes the most sense
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Same logic as the other colours.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:37, Reply)

and then the pink one is heart, and when they join together than can summon Captain Planet.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Just buy new shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Why? Plugs are cheap

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:32, Reply)

I'm as rich as Cresus/rswipe

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:33, Reply)

When you stand on the plug of your hair straighteners
in a pair of new rocks whilst getting ready to go out clubbing. That was a panicky 15 minutes, especially since I'd already been drinking for two hours at that point.
(berk, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:49, Reply)

I totally learnt something today.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:35, Reply)

That Gaylords say 'no'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:36, Reply)

are you on crack?
the plug thing you spastic. Jesus Christ Jeff you have gone nuts!

good day so far?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Butt plug?
You utter bum lord
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:38, Reply)

actually it's a fart bung, I'm doing the world a favour you feckless helmet.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:39, Reply)

You canot have anything on Tourette's.
How DG can still smell anything is beyond me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:41, Reply)

dunno, I once rendered a work toilet uninhabitable for 4 hours after an early morning shit.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:42, Reply)

You can't buy class like that.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:45, Reply)

my boss claimed he had gone blind when he opened the door.
for lols and shit, not seriously or anything. My shit is not that powerful.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:46, Reply)

Maybe your lack of powerful shit is why your 'customer' calls you Turdd.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:53, Reply)

that you're an iredeemable bender? ; )

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:36, Reply)

that is not a revaltion.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:38, Reply)

I like and respect womens individuality, inner strength and their caring nature.
They offer support and companionship to people around them and joy to the people they love.
Plus some of them let you put their penis in their bum.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:38, Reply)

What about women!!!!!!!!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:39, Reply)

EDITED NOW

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:40, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1168522
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:04, Reply)

I really don't understand the whole bum thing
Surely there are better options?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:42, Reply)

Any holes a goal.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:42, Reply)

I'm not ruling out any other option.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:46, Reply)

not by choice though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:56, Reply)

I'm not saying this is true of all women, but I like their way they can make their tenticals stand on end when they're angry.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:56, Reply)

ha ha ha
Fucking genius Gonz, have a click
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 17:59, Reply)

Men have hard bodies
Okay, that's enough, I'm off to lie down in a darkened room.
*swoons*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:01, Reply)

The bottom half of my body is hard.
The top half has a definite layer of soft.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:03, Reply)

You need to start running up the steps of some large museum type building
and then punching animal carcasses in a giant fridge.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Sounds like my perfect day out.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:07, Reply)

Bones are hard,
And I am skinny, does that count?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:12, Reply)

Oh sweetheart...
No.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:19, Reply)

My g/f wants me to eat more

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:20, Reply)

Your g/f is sensible
Everyone needs a bit of meat on their bones.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:21, Reply)

I dont get hungry easily
EDIT: it just occurred to me that as a rural type you have started this threadlet to find useful potential farmhands to kidnap
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Damn!
Foiled again!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:26, Reply)

You cant fool me
I may be city folk but I know that 96% of all haystacks are made to cover up secret dungeons
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:27, Reply)

No, no, no that's not true. Not at all.
Don't believe what you read in the newspapers. It was slanderous, all of it. Absolute rubbish. They were store rooms!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:36, Reply)

since when do store rooms have shackles?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:39, Reply)

Oh, them?
They're for drying out the sheep. I thought everyone knew that.

You townies!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Well I suppose sheep are sort of like giant walking towels

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:46, Reply)

Yes. Yes, they are.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:48, Reply)

The only thing hard about me is scull, it's quite thick.
Bit if any time you want to see if my squishy bits go hard, even if it's just for two minutes or soo, you'd be more than welcome.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:18, Reply)

.... and yet, despite all I say, I _still_ manage to look you in the eye when we meet up.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:19, Reply)

I'm hurt.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:19, Reply)

?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:35, Reply)

I still want to be a desirable woman you know!
I *have* to have it both ways. I want to be respected for my intelligence, wit and humour but I also want to be a sex object.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:37, Reply)

That's what I mean, despite all the decrepited thoughts I have of you dressed in a...
...puff ball meringue wedding dress, with huge puffed sleeves and a frilly neckline, and 25ft train....designed by David and Elizibeth Emmanual*. Despite the thoughts of you remembering when a Prawn Cocktail was served in an Avacardo for the first time and devowering it whole as the epicentre of gastric fassion, and it making me "Oh Gee Oh Gosh". Despite the thought of sitting with you in the conservatory (actually having a place with a conservatory in the first place) listening to Radio 4 and not saying anything, just being content (and a little bit ravinious)....

....I still manage to look you in the eye, when I see you.


* I'm still straight, I just googled "Princess Diana Wedding Dress".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Ah, thank you Gonz
I'll remember that.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 18:19, Reply)

I can tell you something shit about men, if you like
mine has just told me he's getting ready for a date, and when I was surprised said 'oh, are we at that stage already?'. Apparently not, then.

Meh. I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.
(berk, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 19:03, Reply)

YES ! GET-IN-THERE !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 19:04, Reply)

Oh...
That's a bit shit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Apr 2011, 19:05, Reply)

I replied in a considerably more calm manner
than I was actually feeling. I did say to him I wouldn't rush/pressure him in to a relationship, so I would then be unreasonable to fly off the handle about him going on a date. So I haven't.
But...

I really fucking wish he hadn't told me. Although even that seems unfair, at least he's being honest. But now I feel like utter, utter shit.
(berk, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 19:19, Reply)

*MASSIVE sadface*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 19:09, Reply)

Oh fuck me.
Kick him in the tits, unless he turns up on your doorstep with a packed dinner.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 19:11, Reply)