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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Reasons for your significant other.I feel like right now the only reason I could ever want a boyfriend would be for him to scratch my back.
What are your reasons for keeping your lady or fella around?
alt: bacon
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:33,
182 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
she's gorgeousmakes me happy, great in bed, she's funny, smart, we share a lot of interests....
alt: don't talk about bacon. I'm fucking starving. This ridiculous family that I stay with don't eat until like 9
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:36,
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I'm not at my housedon't have any food other than that they give me at whatever ridiculous time they decide to give it
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:40,
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do they make you sleep in a cupboard under teh stairs?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:42,
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I have a roomand a delightful pool. Unfortunately they eat at the most absurd fucking time
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:46,
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You should try living with my parentsthey eat at five. Oldpeoplelols.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:49,
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given the choice I'd probably rather eat at 5 than at 9(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:50,
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how long since lunch?have you had a banana?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:53,
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+ up your arse?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:58,
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are you not allowed to cook yourself something?I don't understand, aren't you paying to stay there?
are they kitchen nazis?
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:55,
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I am allowedbut generally am eating with them, because it means I don't have to buy food or cook it.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:58,
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Below average sex every two weeks(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:39,
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You cynic.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:52,
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This is true.You support Manchester United, ergo...
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:22,
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I'm with you on that oneI'd quite happily have someone scratch my back all night.
Otherwise, shared sense of humour, complementing each other's strengths and weaknesses, cuddles, and fixing things.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:44,
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I don't have a significant othersad times. I'd quite like one though.
Alt: I had a bacon sandwich with fried onions today and black pepper. It was delicious
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:48,
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I don't either and my damned back is so itchyI don't think I've ever had a sandwich like that! Must. Try.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:01,
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I like to bring b3tans together, banishing loneliness and crippling despairThere's someone for all of us Amberl, this chap about town is into the high arts, and counts theatre,opera, photography and long leisurely strolls with his dog amongst his hobbies www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=87394
Is he the rain for your desert? He's but a gaz away
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:11,
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So that's where Edmund went Crazy bastard.
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:14,
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Because she's awesome.And far better than I deserve, frankly.
Alt: in a roll, with HP Guinness sauce. I have recently discovered this product, and it is win.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:52,
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Seems to me a lot of b3tan males are punching well above their weightmust be true what they say about women liking a sense of humour.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:54,
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See below :)(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:55,
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She also puts up with having a houseful of Daleks, which not many women would.Apart from b3th, perhaps.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:54,
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this is, in fact, true.I also love computer games and watching football.
I have come to realise I am the perfect woman.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:04,
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grossI was really hoping for entertaining replies like "because she clips my toenails with her teeth"
not all this gushy crap
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:56,
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OK. She trims my pubes and fashions cushions out of them. How's that?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 20:57,
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I live in the north of England.We have to make our own fun.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:02,
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I cut mr b3th's hair for himbut he can trim his own fucking pubes. Personally, as much as I love him, I wouldn't trust anybody near my pubes with a sharp instrument.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:03,
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I daren't let my g/f near my hair after the 'indecent' that was her last attempt (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:06,
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I'm pretty goodbut to be fair, it's relatively easy. Clippers, No 4 guard, all over cut. Piece of piss.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:07,
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Ironically, the missus cuts my hair.I reckon I've saved one million pounds and ninety nine pence in the last three years.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:24,
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Innit?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:39,
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Right at this momentI could really do with a jolly good shag.
Any subsequent discussion about the Industrial Revolution, the American Civil War or dogs would be bonus points.
Bacon. In a big fat butty, from the shop down the road from our depot.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:02,
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You'd call it a rollBacon in two slices of bread, or...fuck, you're right. I've never had a bun/teacake/barm in the States.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:10,
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I think the closest thing is a burger bunbut a butty isn't quite so plastic.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:16,
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You're probably rightThe US is distinctly inferior to Europe in terms of bread products.
Sarah Palin approves of this.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:23,
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well i neverwe just don't eat a lot of bread okay gosh
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:27,
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Don't get all defensiveYou get a lot of local bakers in Europe, and a lot of fresh bread.
It's not a critisism, just an observation.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:31,
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never been to europe but that is definitely true!I don't think I've ever been in a real honest to God bakery in my life.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:34,
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keep savingReal bread, real cheese, real chocolate.
I've had to knock my US visit on the head this year sadly.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:41,
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yeah, I used to always think "oh man, I'm never going to be able to afford a trip" but after footing the bill for dentals I realise I definitely could but still
dentals are more important than meeting stinky b3tans and looking at castles
we have a dinosaur land afterall so that's fairly awesome
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:42,
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I'll start doing the lottery again so we can get you over here.(
girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:44,
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you should come here and see the dinosaur landit's magical
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:47,
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If needed I can donate an air-bed to whoever has to put you up for your stay. (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:48,
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You've got the fucking lot in a very big country There's a school that sneers at Americans for only 10% getting passports.
We've talked about this before. I'd move there tomorrow if I could take the cats and dogs.
Yes, I'd miss fresh food but I wouldn't miss the insularity, parochialism, the "this is the way we've always done it" European mentality.
A mate of mine is almost there. He's a train driver (railroad engineer) over here and he's been offered a similar job in San Jose, CA. He's just got to jump through the hoops of beaurocracy and he's in.
Lucky bastard.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:54,
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A thick sandwich using soft floury bread
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:11,
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well it comes from pigs and is usually served fried and in a sandwich (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:05,
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I was going to say that you know about baconBut you don't.
My sister was a vegetarian for 20 years and brother-in-laws bacon butties in the morning drew her out of it.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:06,
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store.dieselsweeties.com/products/bacon-is-a-vegetable-shirt
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:08,
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Well I was fine until I was reminded of my doomed lovelife.I might go and have a cheese sammich.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:09,
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I've been out to the fieldplaying frisbee with Biscuit. We had fun.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:11,
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I took my mum and the dogs out to the resevoir for a walk after work.To the dogs, Blousie = walkies.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:12,
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Walkies.Biscuit isn't really into balls and frisbees and Benji is good at chasing them but hasn't grasped the concept of bringing them back.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:16,
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Oh, Biscuit loves to playHe'll walk for hours, sniffing at stuff, but if you give him the choice he'd rather play catch for twenty minutes and knacker himself right out.
Also, he'd rather play with us (and toys) than any other dogs. The boy thinks he's a person.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:19,
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Biscuit is squirrel mad.Take her to a forest and she's in her element.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:21,
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Oh, we love squiggles too.And pussy cats, dickie birds, and bunny rabbits. anything that he can chase.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:22,
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Ducks and geese on the canal.We saw some ducklings the other day. Awwwwww!
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:24,
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We had an unfortunate incident the other dayBrown dived into the canal and demolished a duck nest.
Poor duck ducks.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:27,
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if you are going to eat cheese at this time of nightIt's probably a good thing that you are single.
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I just findThat dairy, for a lot of people, late at night makes it worth while sleeping with the window open.
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I just have strange dreams.Well stranger than usual.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:30,
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as you were.I would like to have regular strange dreams. I never seem to get enough.
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Stranger thanfinding out that god is a giant pair of hands forever trying to solve a Rubik's cube?
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:45,
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I wishI once had a crack at lucid dreaming to turn up the strange. Didn't work.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:09, Reply)
Cheese knows no time restrictionsDon't attempt to impose them.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:14,
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This. Im having some nice Wensleydale atm.
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:15,
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I scratched my sort of new boyf's back last week.He did the sex face a bit. I'm well in there I think.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)
someone to sit in the park with, laughing at funny looking people(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:13,
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hang ondidn't you watch 'that' film the other night?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:22,
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YOU SAID IT YOURSELF!!BGB GOES ASS TO MOUTH!!!!!!
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:28,
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Don't put words in my mouth Kristine.Especially the Ass word.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:29,
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if it is a man then i suppose yes the bumsexif it is a woman then i guess less of the bumsex, probably.
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Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:23,
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you say it like i've got a selection of potential suitors!(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:44,
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Oh, we do that tooIt's lovely when you both just find the same thing randomly funny.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:14,
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My reasons are well known.alt: Crispy in wholegrain bread spread thick with unsalted butter.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:18,
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I like my bacon like a womanpink and flexible.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:27,
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or overly salty?Or craved by many?
Detested by many major organised religions?
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I'll be like that soon if I keep going on the sunbed.(
girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:32,
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This year it's going to be all yardwork and pool time for me. (
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:35,
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I was out walking yesterday I have a reverse raccoon face from my sunglasses
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:37,
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Yeah! I try to remember to take off my sunglasses now and then.(
girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:38,
Reply)
Dont use the sunbedUse fake tan. Then you can be orange like the other chavs. Innit.
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I'm getting some colour on me so I don't burn when I go to Tenerife next month.Plus my belly doesn't look so frightening when it's brown.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:39,
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perhaps I need a bit of thatAlthough, I don't like to be tanned. Perhaps I should get some body paint and cover myself in it and see if I look less scary naked when I'm not so white.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:42, Reply)
That's what I look for in a manSoneone who is as versitile as a sandwich.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:40, Reply)
A flaccid bit of white bread with a little bit of cucumber?Try harder.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:43,
Reply)
I like cucumber sandwiches.Perhaps this is where I'm going wrong.
And on that note.......Goodnight everyone.
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girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:45,
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Night Blousie.See you on Friday :))))
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:48,
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As versitile as a sandwich, not as dull as a sandwich my nan would make.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:06, Reply)
He came round when I was so ill I could barely speak and fed me ice cream,and I like his hair.
Alt: Mmm. Bacon. I've seen the light as regards grilling it. Only way forwards.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:55,
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Hair is critical to any relationshipI have hair. I say it to all the girls.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:05,
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Yes!Hair is important, almost as important as the ability to recite poetry.
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Shall I compare thee to a Netto freezer...Bedtime for TD.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:18,
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I can do that.Whan Cnut Cyng the Witan wold enfeoff
Of infangthief and outfangthief
Wonderlich were they enwraged
And wordwar waged
Swarë Cnut great scot and lot
Swingë wold ich this illbegotten lot.
Wroth was Cnut and wrothword spake
Well wold he win at wapentake
Fain wold he brakë frith and crackë heads
And then they shold worship his redes.
Swingéd Cnut with swung sword
Howléd Witanë hellë but hearkened his word
Murië sang Cnut Cyng
Outfangthief is damgudthyng.
Genuine Norse poetry, is that.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:20,
Reply)
Damgudthyng is a brilliant word.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:24,
Reply)
Dreadful :(Will gaz...
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:40,
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Nobody Gaz-es meapart from Darth when he's being a moaning mimsy.
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Aww, diddums.I get quite a few, but they're usually from the same few people.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:44,
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i get loadsmostly from myself, but you know.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:45,
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not necessarilyi get gazzes from ALL teh weirdos
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:58,
Reply)
mehi was amused by the return of bert though!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:06,
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two bert-downs todayit was mildly amusing
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:11,
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ChristI don't know, I bugger off for a day and it all kicks off...
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it was bizarrethe way he now has a 2 account-pronged approach.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:18,
Reply)
I'm going to go and make my sandwiches for tomorrow.I'm so rock and roll
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:08, Reply)
i'll have cheese (proper strong cheddar or feta)with onions and japapeno mayo, ta.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:12,
Reply)
Jalapeno mayo sounds goodmight look out for that when I'm next shopping.
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i think i just made it up, sorrybut you could make your own!
i LOVE the jalapeno risotto at giraffe.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:14,
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Since they're imaginary, I can tell them to shut up whenever I want and they'll do it.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:05,
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I think I can speak for me and Monty as OT's sweetest couple, that the reason he loves me so muchIs that I know exactly which bands and songs he secretly adores, even if he claims they are 'fucking shit'. Like this one youtu.be/pLEcsw5irfk
Oh, and also my massive cock.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:39, Reply)
I have no significant otherbut i'd want one for making me morning cups of tea and changing all the frigging lightbulbs which keep popping in my house (for which reason he'd have to be tall)
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:49,
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i supposebut i could get a step
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:01,
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no, and thats the problemwith that solution
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:09,
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I keep my wife around....because I'm pretty bloody useless without her. A natural sense of direction, great film trivia knowledge and a middling ability to impersonate Cary Grant, Harry H Corbett and Ronan Keating don't really translate so well to navigating the real world. We're also ridiculously well suited to each other and can both cook a decent chilli.
Alt: Saying 'beer can' to sound all Jamaican never fails to amuse me.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:49,
Reply)
He's cute as helland a fucking demon in the sack. I am in so very, very much trouble.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:56, Reply)
It has significantly improved since then, yesboy is filth. It's fucking awesome.
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:03, Reply)
He must have gone in soft the first time.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Apr 2011, 0:31,
Reply)
The Bertdowns today...I saw the anagrammatical one, where is the other?
(, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 23:23, Reply)
I fucking love cuddlesI'd say that's a good enough reason.
Alt: Always good, best on soft white bread with brown sauce. Grilling under flames is the best way to cook it though.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 0:02,
Reply)
TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA!Motherfuckin' tea. 'Coz dats how I roll.
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djtrialprice, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 0:04,
Reply)
It certainly isMy girl gives good tea. And that's all I'm prepared to say on the matter.
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djtrialprice, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 0:09,
Reply)
She's pretty fucking awesome.*smugs*
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 7:34,
Reply)
Awww thanks! :D(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 8:15,
Reply)
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