Righto.
That thread was so jaw-droppingly exciting that I'm going to try and calm things down around here by asking about weekend plans.

I'm seeing my daughter and doing little else until Sunday afternoon when Lusty and I may go to a map fair. That's right. A MAP FAIR. I am a huge cartography fan, so GET BENT, YEAH?

Alt: how many slices of toasted onion granary bread and Marmite can I eat this morning before it starts to look grotesque? I've had four so far but I fancy a couple more.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:14, 77 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Damn you Monty!
Damn you to hellllllll!!!!!!!!!!!

Alt: you look quite grotesque anyway, so go ahead. Eat the whole loaf.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I have it on good authority that I am, in fact 'well fit'. ACTUALLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

People have said that about me Monty
Opinions are like arses; everyone's got them, and they're often full of shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Apart from yours, which is more often full of semen.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)

that's why they call him HMS Norwich

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I'm clicking this
cos it's fucking funny
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

all mothers think their children are wonderful
but yours is particularly ill-equipped to make a rational judgement on this.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Morning you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I'll have 2 quid on 7 slices.
I have dinner party (get me, I am middle class you know) and 17 hours of sleep on Sunday.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Big competition tomorrow
I am absolutely fucking dreading it, despite getting phenomenally good marks on my Gold Star 4 recently.

You may call me a gay now.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Not packing fudge this weekend?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Depends which of the judges gives me the eye
The further we get in the Ballroom section, the less excruciating the wait for Latin to begin.

So yes, buggery may be on the cards.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I'd rather be buggered than..
Nah, I'd just rather be buggered.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Bender

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Means all the more coming from you sweetie.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Authority, innit

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Gold Star 4?
That sounds like some kind of ultra-camp Xbox Kinect dance game. Am I right?

Morning mate. Where's your competition?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Hahaha it does actually
Gold Star 4 is a Ballroom qualification, sort of akin to piano grade 10 or whatever (it's the 10th such exam we've taken, I have no idea of how many grades there are)

Our competition is in Brentwood. Essex. ESSEX.

Morning sir, how are you today?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Essex? Eek. Well I suppose the locals will already have plenty of fake tan on.
So what dances will you be performing? What are your chances of winning?

I'm very well ta. It is our Gala Day this weekend, and my daughter is in the pageant. As a result I have to decorate the front of my house. Hence I was out in the garden painting by torchlight at 11pm last night.

Sunday I'm playing cricket. A cup game, and we're on a bit of a losing streak. A win against our local rivals may kick start our season nicely. A defeat will have us plummetting into despair, obviously.

So what else are you up to?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)

What does the Gala Day consist of?
Do I have it right that your daughter is 11? Is she crapping herself, ro does she have her father's penchant for enjoying things rather than fretting pointlessly a la moi?

We'll be doing Waltz, Quickstep, Cha Cha Cha and Jive. I'm confident we'll be one of the four or five best couples in our category, but have absolutely fuck all chance of winning because competitions are shot to fuck with corruption and judges playing favourites. This one is particularly bad in that respect, hence the aforementioned dread.

Sunday we're going to Bewilderwood with the missus' extended family, including her sister who lives in New Zealand and her two young kids, one of whom we're all yet to meet. Could go one of two ways, frankly.

Best of luck in the cricket, sir. Lad and GF playing?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Gala Day is a big village thing round these parts
A pageant, crowning of the Gala Queen, a parade down the High Street, followed by a fun fair type thing. Basically everyone turns out to watch, then disappears down the boozer for a bit and then there will be an outbreak of spontaeous drunken BBQs all over the place.

Yes she's 11. She doesn't have a speaking part, but her and her classmates will all be dressed up in beautiful white dresses, hair done, all that kind of carry on.

Oh I didn't know that about the judging. Presumably all the judges are not only bent, but also er...bent? Perhaps you could try to er...sway their vote? I'm not sure where I'm going with this....

I have to say that I don't like the Quickstep. It looks like an awful lot of hard work, but I can't get over the fact that the participants look like ponies trying to gallop round doing tricks. Is it just me?

No places for the boy and the GF in the team this Sunday. The lad is at the ex's this weekend, and as it's a cup game the GF has not been selected. We have 'the big guns' out.

What is Bewilderwood? Never heard of it.

I've just had a cake for a colleague's birthday, and I'm feeling rather chipper now.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I'm not sure what Bewilderwood is either mate
It's local to here and is set in a wood, I think. The missus' sister has organised a big family outing for her birthday, and she's my age so I assume it's OK. Must be kid-friendly too as we'll have children of 11, 6, 3 and 2 with us. Like I say, could really go one of two ways!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

OK, so it's in a wood in Norfolk, and it's family oriented?
This doesn't bode well.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Hahaha
I'll let you know if I hear banjos
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Tonight might have a friend round for dinner
Tomorrow I have an evening of metophorically being kicked in the balls for being a BASTARD and JUST THE SAME AS THE REST as I go for a drink with an old friend who's just broken up with her boyfriend.

Sunday I have a glastonbury meeting, which means getting drunk and going "duuude, it's gonna be awesome!!!!" a lot.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

two questions
1. your friends split up with their boyfriends a lot. What is with that?

2. A Glastonbury meeting? Seriously? You don't have to sort out any drugs. What could you possibly be meeting about?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)

This^
Glastonbury meeting.

"Do you have a tent, a sleeping bag and a backpack?"
"Yes"
"Meeting adjourned"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I don't give a shit if my mates have those things
that's their lookout
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

In response to 2.
I would guess that it's not actually a meeting so much as a pre-emptive piss-up, and Chompy has only called it a meeting because he is an analyst. And a twat.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Your perspicacity is almost alarming in its alacrity.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I know
Right?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)

1. All women have shit taste in men.
2. We do have to sort that out a bit but it's where we're staying before and after, who's taking what food tents etc etc.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

not quite all, but most.
are you going to be wielding a clipboard at the meeting?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:28, Reply)

No a box of wine and a plastic cup if all goes to plan.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

25 pot noodles and a shed load of water.
Bog paper, e's, coke, and all the beer you can fit onto that Milletts trolley that will inevitably break.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Glasto planning meetings are a waste of time.
You'll make plans, get there and decide it's either too hot or too wet to walk to where you hoped to make camp and bed down at the nearest available spot.

All you need are a tent, beer, tabs and Haribo. It is easier to buy everything else when you're there.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)

In my experience it's a good idea to camp on top of a hill
But I really picked my Glastonbury's in terms of weather, they were both fucking ridiculous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Maps are, at best, mildly interesting to look at.
Going to a map convention ranks right alongside going to a Star Trek convention on the Colin Scale.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Haha!
The Colin scale
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Inspired.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:44, Reply)

It's full of maps for sale, you dolt.
Like a record fair.

Go freeze a poo, you mongol.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Why would I need that? I've got google maps on my phone
Is it because the sound is better on old maps?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)

They're attractive artifacts. Not for practical use.
That's like saying 'why would I need a painting on my wall? I mean, what does it actually do?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I am playing a gig tonight
which will be fun. Wrote a new set list last night and it's mostly new songs which are all a lot better than the old songs.

Haircut and possibly buying additional percussion tomorrow, then dinner and games tomorrow night. Continuing to clean up the brickwork on the dining room fireplace at some point too.

My brother has taken delivery of an eighth of a cow which we are splitting between us and my parents, so need to get loads of meat as well.

alt: I'd fucking love some toasted onion granary bread with marmite. Gorge yourself. Eat a whole loaf
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Taken delivery?
Roadkill?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)

I assumed it was slaughtered properly
but I must admit I didn't ask, so it could be roadkill
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I love the country.
I'm surprised you don't go and help yourself in the fields at night. No one would know. Except us.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I don't have anywhere to hang a 450kg steer carcass

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Don't all people in the country have a meat shed
or something?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I do live in a city you know

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Exeter?
Not really a city is it? I've been in bigger women.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:29, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)

glad you can laugh at yourself
:-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)

*narrows eyes*
Don't make me regret fantasising about you.
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)

you wouldn't
I'm the most Jeff Bridges like bloke on here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:48, Reply)

True dat!

( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:55, Reply)

it's more of a city than you will ever be

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Kidding!
It's lovely. I've been there, it's beautiful.

Shame about the people! ;-)
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)

it's a shame about the students
Exeter Uni students are the scum of the earth
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)

All students are scum of the earth.
Until they get their degrees in "Leisure" at which point some business or other has to teach them to read and write.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Exeter ones are worse
because they are rich. and cunts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I hate rich cunts.
Not as much as poor cunts though. Least the rich ones know a decent bottle of wine when they see it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

not these ones
they are rich because daddy is. cunts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I hate the West Country set with the London accents.
Cunts.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:18, Reply)

they're all from Guildford

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

It is Mrs Cow's birthday on Saturday
so we are off to a Spanish restaurant for tapas and wine. This is a good thing. Sunday I am on standby support for work. Not so good

Alt:
Challenge yourself. Go for the loaf and a salt/yeast overdose
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Been a naughty girl and drove too fact class tomorrow morning.
Family meal for my birthday Saturday afternoon and cinema with nephew on Sunday.
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ya!
Happy bur-hurth-day.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

It's not till Tuesday but thanks?
I'm an old bint : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Old is a state of mind.
Unless you're young.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:28, Reply)

You're only as young as the man your feeling.

( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)

12?
I shouldn't be paying tax then.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Hahahah 10/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Ooh, a map fair
my mate has the map of Northern France, that was issued to his grandad for the Normandy Landings, framed on his wall. It's bloody enormous.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

*waits for the sound of Monty climaxing*

( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I have my grandfather's silk map of the Rhineland
that was sewn into the lining of his jacket, replete with massive bloodstain from where his throat was cut, having parachuted behind enemy lines. There's a hand-drawn dotted line showing his planned route. It's fucking cool.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

That sounds very cool.
Just need Inglorious Basterds style scalp of Gerry.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)

You have one-upped my mate there and no mistake
Edit: although his grandfather beats yours by not dying.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Mine didn't die until 1990 or so.
He ended up being a general and following retirement, an accomplished landscape painter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Wait, he had his throat slit in '44 and lived till '90?
Or he was parachuting into the Rhineland in 1990 and got his throat slit?

Either way it's cool.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I'm studying all weekend. :(
very exciting.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Where's the map fair?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

X marks the spot.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

No idea.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Oh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I haven't got a clue what the plans for this weekend are.
It'll no doubt involve going to the tip, trying to find the exact right tea/coffee/sugar containers to go in with our new kitchen and some medicinal rum drinking.

Once we get the house looking nice I'm thinking of selling up and moving to a different country or something. Just a couple more weekends of tip runs and dreading Monday might tip me over the edge.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

If indeed that is the edge.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)

It's wearing a beanie so it must be

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Just say no!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:44, Reply)

You are Zammo AICMFP

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Fat zammo.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I personally wouldn't use tea/coffee/sugar containers from the tip
perhaps I'm being overly fastidious though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Good day to you mr Boyce.
My old man is a keen cartographer also due to the nature of his profession. I often buy him maps or old ordinance survey maps when I spot them.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:44, Reply)

They are fascinating.
Particularly really old ones which can tell you a surprisingly large amount about the politics of whoever commissioned them etc - and the world-view of the time.

And a good day to you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Particularly really old ones which can tell you a surprisingly large amount about the politics ......
You're right.


( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)

When I was expelled from boarding school the local comP wouldn't have me so my old man smoothed the deal with s stunning map of the school grounds from the 1800's still hanging in the hall now
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Map fairs and onion granary toast gluttony?
I used to think you were cool.
LOL JK, I never thought you were cool.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:54, Reply)

He's just a different kind of nerd

( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Zero.
Nothing, Nil, Nowt, Nuffink, etc

I've got some TV to catch up on, a few films to watch, and I might even see if I can get my greasy mitts on the first few episodes of Game Of Thrones, as it's meant to be very good.

Alt: As many as you please, dear boy. That sounds fan-fooking-tastic!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Game of Thrones is great
gore, tits, everything you could want, and a good story to boot
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Unnecessary boobies
best of all the boobies.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:57, Reply)

in the last one I watched
a guy got stabbed right through the eye and out the back of his head.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I'm enjoying it so much, I started reading the books.
I haven't read any fantasy novels since I was about 16.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I love fantasy books
and will give them a read at some point

they've been on one of my lists for a while
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:09, Reply)

When it comes to books, I'm a bit of a Monty.
So I'm buying some out of print hardbacks that I'm paying about three times over the odds for. Stupid boy.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I dislike hardbacks
for reading anyway.

My grandfather was a county librarian and has a superb collection of books. I'm hoping it might come my way, because most of my cousins are barely literate.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

westcountrylols

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I'm from buckinghamshire, my grandparents live in chichester
cousins live mostly in the South East.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Apologies.
homecountylols
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

The state of education in the South East is appalling.
I'm embarrassed by it.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

it's not that so much
as that all the brains went to my dad and his brother. The sisters got nothing, and passed nothing onto their kids.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

*Insert old school sexist joke here*

( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:25, Reply)

south east still has grammar schools.
which is positive.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Guildford has one of the oldest. They're a great thing if you believe
that turning spoiled, rich kids into braying media executives is a positive step.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Oi.
I don't work in media and I have certainly never brayed. Not about being rich, it's about being the top 5% baby.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Well if you don't work in media, you've got no cause to take umbrage.

( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

OK, just sayin' like.
Us grammar boys can get a bit punchy.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I bet that's terrifying.

( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Hell yeah.
We refused to pay for a corked bottle of Mersault the other night.

It was bedlam.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Your mum has HIV.
Which is positive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

It's surprisingly hard to buy decent hardback editions of even popular books.
Once the paperbacks come out, you can only get the hardback editions from "collectible" sellers. I'm not even after first editions, just nice, hardback copies.

When I decided to become snobbish about it, I had no idea it'd be so obstructive. Now it's too late.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Superb

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)

first couple of episodes are a bit slow
(still plenty of tits though) but I've watched 4 I think and the fighting is starting to kick off more now.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I'm goign to clean out my throttle body.
Aside from that, probably fuck all. I'm trying to save to move house.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Best euphemism ever.

( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

It gets blocked up with oily deposits.

( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I can believe it.

( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:09, Reply)

You have to open it right up, and get the fluid to penetrate really deeply.
Trickier than it sounds. Especially if the valve's shut.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

*goes for a lie down*

( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Overly elaborate strikethrough is overly elaborate:
art +pro gra +ag
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Was that really worth the required effort?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I'm struggling to figure out what it is meant to say

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Coprophagy

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I figure it would be something like that
it was where the o was coming from that I was struggling with.

kept thinking it was cprooagphy

which didn't make much sense
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Luckily it's your cousins that are illiterate, eh?

( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

zing!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Had to look that up.
*bokes*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I reckon so.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Well I am very pleased for you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I have a Diversity Training workshop.
I've never been to one before, and I'm not sure whether to be politely sarcastic, or just switch off.
Lunch is included however.
There's also sessions coming up, Empowerment, and Safeguarding Vulnerable Adults. Can't sodding wait.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Is break-dancing before or after lunch?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Diversity Training is a waste of time and money.
Like most of these corporate things, you'll already know what it is they're supposed to be training you in if you have an ounce of common sense.

In this case, you can boil it down to "calling black people 'monkeys' often offends".

Actually, maybe swipe should have gone on one.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

You have to do it though
otherwise the pakis get uppity.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

That's how 911 started,
and I don't mean the excellent band.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Inshallah!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I had to do a Height Awareness course a few years ago.
4 hours of being told what a height was. By 2 people. Just me on the course. Lunch was included oh this too, I took a carrier bag and filled it with all the buffet stuff that was left. Result.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

What the hell does a height awareness course entail?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Boxes for shortarses to stand on

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Also, ducking so you don't bash your head.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Being aware that a height is 1.3 metres or above.
And how not to fall off a ladder, or get my students stuck up a very small hill.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I can see why your company had to pay another company
to train you in that.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I got an email off them congratulating me on successfully passing it.
And asked if I wanted to go on another one, but I wasn't allowed.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:56, Reply)

I bet there's a really high fail rate
and therefore that certificate was totally worth the printing.
( Kroney, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:07, Reply)

As far as I know, I was the only one to do it.
Due to the aforementioned students .
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Tomorrow I driving down to Brighton and then slowly up to London
as I'm the 'Support Vehicle' for an off-road cycle ride that PJM and DiT are doing.
That'll be fun.
Then Sunday I'm marking exam scripts. W00t.

I can barely contain myself.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Over the weekend I'm on call for our Software Release
as its a big one. If they think that £42 on-call fee is going to stop me getting massively hammered on Saturday night they are dreaming.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:46, Reply)

£42 isn't enough to get hammered!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

That's what they're paying me not to
I shall be supplementing it with my own cash, never fear.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Put it on expenses.
and when you submit it tell your boss to "just fucking sign it".

Hey presto, no more Saturday nights on call!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:54, Reply)

He needs the £42 though.
It's enough to buy a house in his area.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:02, Reply)

You will be looking to buy a very small garage next door then eh?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:04, Reply)

*cough*tent in park*cough*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:05, Reply)

An hour?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:53, Reply)

If it is like ours then this is a retainer to answer the phone, emails, etc.
You then get paid by the hour should this happen. I am doing this on Sunday (for £100!)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Yeah, just per day
but then if I answer the phone (for more than I think 15 minutes) it's double time.

*plots elaborate "I've just got to check something for 14 minutes" shenanigan*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I wouldn't watch dogs fuck for £100 .

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:13, Reply)