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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am the proud owner of 5llbs of beautiful baby girl!
She is perfect and is a real little trooper, mummy is doing well too.

That is all
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:33, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Wooooooooooo

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)
Mock him Rory, this is fucking shameless beakering.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)
At least the event (until firm evidence is given that he aint the dad) is related to him, it's not a tragic case of vicarious beakering

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:04, Reply)
I'm the proud owner of a 2.5kg joint of beef.
The best thing is, it doesn't shit itself AND I'm allowed to eat it.

congratulations
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)
Hahah!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)
Congratulations Apey!!!!
*beams*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Did you name her after me?
lolol congrats sir!!
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)
perfect eh?
do you know who the father is?

also: for the love of god don't start calling your wife 'mummy'
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:38, Reply)
It's me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Well done.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Well done? Hahahaha.
He did very little.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)
from what his wife said when I inseminated her
very little is an apt description of him.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)
tsk, typical woman, always belittling a man;s contribution.
I was going to post something along the lines of he now had 16-18 years to brace him self and get used to the idea that some spotty little shite would one day be shagging the arse of his beloved little princess, but it seemed tasteless so I didn't.

oh
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)
16-18 years?
They're starting earlier and earlier nowadays. She'll only just be out of nappies by the time she catches someone's eye.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Paul Gadd lols.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
I was being generous
A significant proportion of the women I've talked to on the matter lost their's around the 13 year mark.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
Well I evened out the balance a little by waiting till a lot later.
till a lot later Someone got drunk enough.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
You're not the only one.
I think the fact I have dated a lot of damaged women may have some relevance here.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)
that sounds suspiciously like my story

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:58, Reply)
Welcome to Late Starters Anonymous
or not so anonymous in this case.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:00, Reply)
We're making up for it now though : )
Not with each other obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:00, Reply)
13!
I barely knew boys existed then!

I was 20
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:09, Reply)
stone?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:09, Reply)
that would not have helped me get any
now would it? Internet dating didn't exist then
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:10, Reply)
fuck off Rory
This is an LSA meeting, Virgin's Fat Sweaty Virgin's Anonymous is next door.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:11, Reply)
You know where to go then

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Only one out of three sadly
They won't let me in.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:15, Reply)
I looked through the window once, it was just Quixote sat on his own blubbing away, even the Counsellor had fucked off with boredom
edit: soz I read the name wrong, anyway it's still a cuss
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:19, Reply)
For some reason when you direct it at me it makes me chuckle
whereas otherwise it's just dull and tedious.

I'll make sure to ask my shrink why this might be at my next session, it'll make a change from whining about my tiny penis and why all the nice girls hate me and refuse to touch it.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I was still playing with dolls at 13.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I just had my nose in books and spent the rest of the time painting and sewing things.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:11, Reply)
so, no big change there then

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:11, Reply)
more internet and cameras
less painting (although I'm going to start one this week)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Yay! whatcha painting?
also, more rubber pole arms now prolly.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
no weaponry allowed when I was a kid, including water pistols
I think I'm trying to paint a place I haven't written a story about yet, but which has been hanging round in my head for quite a while.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:15, Reply)
I fucking need to get my arse in gear and start drawing again.
If hypnosis worked on me I'd try that.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:16, Reply)
do it do it do it

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
What she said.
I'll like totally model for you if you like *unzips*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:18, Reply)
Now I'd pick up a pencil FOR THAT!!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:19, Reply)
A pencil and a magnifying glass sadly
but don't let that stop you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)
That sounds interesting.
Hmmm, no weapons = massive LARPer, this is paralel to a friend of mine in her case, no dollys = grew up to be a walking barbie doll.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
Me too.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:12, Reply)
we were the proper cool kids
the others just thought they were
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Innit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
it occurred to me recently
that throughout most of my teens I didn't actually know any girls who shared any of the same interests. I barely knew any who liked rock music for instance.

Getting to uni and finding out that such girls existed was awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:16, Reply)
pretty much this^
Although probably combined with more crippling inability to interact socially in my case.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:25, Reply)
You can join LSA too then.
I would have at anything form 12 up, but no one was interested.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:10, Reply)
15 for me

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:21, Reply)
show off
you can't be in our gang
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I bet it was shit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)

it he
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:25, Reply)
You forgot this
+s
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:34, Reply)
No, I was implying, no stating actually, that at 15 you were a crap shag
and I'll stand by this point, are you not only about 17 now?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:36, Reply)
That's a harsh thing to say
he really liked you

here I am implying that it was you what took his virginity
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:45, Reply)
Well then he should have put more effort in, shouldn't he?
Just lying there whimpering and begging for mercy, really didn't do it for me.

are we doing subtitles now? What an ace idea, I do get confused you know
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:48, Reply)
Look, it takes time to widen an anus


yeah, I wish real life conversations had them
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:51, Reply)
This is half the fun.
I like it when they cry.

I've often though of learning some form of sign language so it would be possible, but this has 2 drawbacks, firstly it depends on the persona I wish to converse with also being fluent and secondly it depends on me being able to be coherent in 2 conversations simultaneously.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:59, Reply)
Ahh, I thought you were making a gay joke
Nope, I'm 23.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:46, Reply)
Nope, I don't really do them much
Even with Darth. Not sure why, I'd like to claim it's because they are lazy and shite, but so is most of my 'humour' so it can't be that.

23 eh? ah well, close enough.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:50, Reply)
Very much so

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:34, Reply)
Thanks everyone!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Well done Apey
But 51lbs seems a tad on the hefty side.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:43, Reply)
it's all hair

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)
Whoops 5llbs
She is tiny by all accounts
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)
I was a couple of ounces shy of twice the size of your daughter

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)
There was a baby born in the States this week
that weighed a stone. A fucking stone!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
fuck
I was 9lbs 10oz or something

curiously though I didn't get fat until the age of 11 or something
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
I was 7lb 13oz, so not too bad!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Scratch that, it was more than a stone
uk.health.lifestyle.yahoo.net/biggest-baby-in-texas-born.htm.

Look at the size of the not so little fucker!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)
I knew it would be fucking Texas.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
that's not a baby
it's Gary fucking Coleman!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
He's fucking huge.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
my cousin's sons were 9lb 10oz and 10lb 6oz
and her sister was almost 11 lbs
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:07, Reply)
I was 4lb 6
I must have just plopped out.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
My great uncle weighed a stone at birth
and his mother was under 5 foot. Poor cow must have split...
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
Congratulations
Now the fun starts...
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:43, Reply)
congratulations
glad everyone is healthy and stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)
Because his bank balance certainly won't be for the nest 16 years or so.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)
that is a significant part of why I'm not having any
I'm practically a pauper as it is
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Congratulations!

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)
Congratulations!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Urgghhh breeders

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)
I dunno,
that song Cannonball was alright
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)
THat was the only good thing they did though.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
never heard anything else of theirs

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
They did a good cover of Happiness is a Warm Gun

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)
Fucking wasn't.
They did the theme from Buffy at Leeds 2002
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
Divine Hammer was great.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:41, Reply)
Congratulations.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
A little trooper?
This whole child soldier business is getting right out of hand.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
She's probably a little short to be a trooper at the moment.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:45, Reply)
I wanted an otter :(
Congrats and that!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
congratulations
now don't spend your whole time talking about her. Some of it, but not all of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:06, Reply)
And don't ask your wife for sex tonight.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:07, Reply)
She's got a mouth aint she

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:10, Reply)
It doesn't always take your mind off that warm damp spongy place further down.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:12, Reply)
Surprise her

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:10, Reply)
You must be joking
Her tits will be huge just now. Go for it, I say.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:12, Reply)
at least a titwank

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
Hmmmm, soapy!

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Yeah give her a break, hire a hooker.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:21, Reply)
But let her watch
it would be rude otherwise.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:29, Reply)
THen you'd need to hire a second hooker to look after the baby.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:32, Reply)
Congratulations *mock mock mock*

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:43, Reply)
Who's there?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:46, Reply)
Mary Hopkin

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:47, Reply)
*smirks*

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:48, Reply)
That is awesome mate!
Well done to all concerned.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Congrats there chap
I understand you asked the doctor how soon after the birth you could have sex and he told you his shift finished in 10 minutes and to meet him in the car park.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:49, Reply)
you may get post soon

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:52, Reply)
Say it ain't so!
Why, it almost leads me to think Rory might do his one day...
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:11, Reply)
It's just the CD, sorry
no fun surprises in there :( but you might like the Cd
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:12, Reply)
That's nice and all
But I'm totally in the park, feeding the ducks. Oh yeah.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:08, Reply)

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