Fuck The Truth Fairy
He's clearly a cunt.

However, if she's a girl, I'll just have to agree with her rantings, then chat her up. (as per usual)

Either way, how the fuck are you?

Alt: Fucking hell, I'm still drunk. When was the last time you were drunk at work?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 8:57, 200 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am bored
It is 4.03pm and I have been given precisely zero work to do. I have written a blog, sent numerous emails, read the news (in great detail) and now am looking through YouTube for their free movies (they are all shit).
(McChinaman banned, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Invent hoverboots, you shit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Can't
I am sitting at my desk trying to look busy. You should invent them, Doc.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Invent hoverdesks, you shit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I'm watching Beavis and Butthead on Youtube
That ought to see me alright until 6ish.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:35, Reply)

lathery bathtime hoverboots.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Start a 'The Chinese Government Are Cunts' website .
Then sit back and wait for the tanks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Yeah
Like this guy. Good idea.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Could have been worse...
Could have been this guy
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Doing your little bit for that graph in the last thread, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Got to keep the riff-raff out, old chap...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I say!
*monocles up*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Bastard.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Obvious link is obvious :-)

(McChinaman banned, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:29, Reply)

You CUNT!
I just shouted that and got weird looks from everybody. I reiterate.
YOU CUNT!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Hahah

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:44, Reply)

I clicked it cos it was blue.
forgetting to check the bottom left of my screen.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Get the HorseWarn chrome add-on

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I'm fantastic.
Went for a five mile run earlier, now I'm lounging around in my pants. Gonna give my old man a ring in a sec because he's got a day off and I fancy bowling round town with him in tow.

Alt: I think my paperround when I was fifteen. I could barely see straight and did that comedy thing on a bike where you stop cycling and gradually wind to a half, and fall perfectly sideways. Last time I was fucked at work was when I pulled an all nighter after I saw Arctic Monkeys at Brixton. Spent all morning trying to get rid of the leftover bugle in my schnozz and got called into the manager's office. People were complaining that I was at my desk completely spaced out and picking my nose. Great days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I had a little sniff last night, but all the coke was stuck to the bag, meaning I had to gum it
Fucking hell, drinking with numb lips is a little odd, isn't it?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I much prefer bags to wraps, but it does get well sticky in them things.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Tis a bit of a pain.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I prefer suitcases.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Have you started tidying all evidence from the flat?
Out of respect for Lustys Mum.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I've done a bit.
When I get back from seeing my daughter tomorrow I intend to spend all day and evening sorting the place out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Bloody hell, how much 'evidence' do you have lying around?

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:33, Reply)

How many half wraps and small bags with bits of grass do you hope to find?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:34, Reply)

There is a wrap of DMT down the back of my records which still needs retrieving.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Not done any of that for ages.
is it still legal?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I can't believe I managed to not do drugs ONCE while I visited you.
I was fully expecting to be introduced to the culture. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:44, Reply)

He may be a drug addled old cunt but I doubt he would have loved the thought of turning you into one.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:49, Reply)

turning you into one sharing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Once I had an envelope pretty full of speed.
I was walking round Soho with it with a mate whilst we were wearing giant sombreros. Subtle.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I once had a sombrero full of cocaine, whores and mariachi players.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Was it a TARDIS?
You know, Time And Relative Dimension in Sombrero?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Trumpets and Roxannes Dancing in Sombrero.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:49, Reply)

That's impressive

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Backforming an acronym is impressive?
    Unless you're borderline illiterate then surely anybody can do it.
    Maybe that's why this place is dying.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:14, Reply)

*holds up two '10' cards*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)

I prefer cans
it tastes wrong out of bottles.

Wait, am I doing this wrong?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:38, Reply)

You are doing it very wrong.
Cans over bottles? Are you fucking nuts?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:39, Reply)

plastic bottles, I'm talking about.
I'm sure it's fine out of glass ones, but we're not allowed glass up here in case the weegies get hold of it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:40, Reply)

It sounds like you live somewhere ace.
Plastic bottles are wrong, yes. Although no one agrees with me when I say lager tastes far better out of a (glass) bottle than a pint glass.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Stella, true.
But after that, it's down to the state of the taps
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:44, Reply)

I don't know if I agree about that
but on an amusing tale of pretentiousness and stupidity, when I lived in That London^TM I would occasionally frequent a crap place called Bar 38 in CG. Becks on draft was £3 a pint or £3.25 for a 275ml bottle. Everyone was standing around drinking bottles and could not see the fuckwittery of doing so. Still, I suppose you have to drink less piss for your money if you think of it that way.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Proper Becks, or shitty 4%?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:49, Reply)

This was more than 10 years ago
they hadn't invented becks driving lager.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:56, Reply)

That stuff is vile in most places.
Just a terribly poured pint.

Normal Becks is wonderful.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Yeah that's ridiculously stupid. I'm just saying I prefer the taste out of a bottle.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Oh, and actually where I live is lovely
it's just sometimes they get through the fence that separates us from west lothian, so we must be vigilant.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Only the lowest dregs of the riff raff barrel drink lager out of the bottle.
The sort of cunt who can't tuck in his Ben Sherman shirt and puts too much cheap gel in his spiky receding hair and disguises his bank teller body odour with half a can of Boots Junglish pit spray. Is that the sort of cunt you are? I bet it fucking is.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Stella out of bottles is pretty wonderful, I find.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Tuck your fucking shirt in.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Yes Sir.
*tucks*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Lager tastes (marginally) better out of a bottle
because lager tastes like shit. A large part of taste includes the use of other senses, such as smell. If your drink is in a pint glass you can smell it as you drink it. If it is in a bottle, you are not sticking your nose inside when you take a swig.
In conclusion, drink shit drinks from a bottle; drink good drinks from a wide-brimmed glass.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Alt: I think it was around my early thirties.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Last week then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:19, Reply)

You're going to have to stop all this pandering or people will think your after getting in my pants.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Fuck em
You know I'm not, so I couldn't care less.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:25, Reply)

You're not?
Oh : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Shh!
;)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I was drunk yesterday afternoon at work.
I have been behaving myself slightly more since changing jobs. At the last place there were nights when I couldn't stand up let alone work.
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Haha, tut tut
How are you? How is living with the terrible, drug ridden reprobate?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I'm not living with him just yet.
I have two more jeggings free nights to go.

I'm alright, working a lot and not sleeping much. I am looking forward to Sunday, I intend to sleep for a little bit.
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Don't blame you at all, seems you work long long hours.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I was at work for 13 and a half hours on Wednesday with a 25minute break.
12 hours yesterday but had an hour to go to the pub next door and drink with the manager there. Today I am in for 12 hours again and will not get a break as we're having a staff meeting.
I know what's going to be said and it is not going to be a happy time. I don't really want to go in :(
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Fucking hell :-(

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:50, Reply)

That is shit but isn't that sort of usual in your line of work.
And you can work your way up the chain of command surely?
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:51, Reply)

or shag

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:53, Reply)

It's pretty common.
I know of some people who have it far worse than I do. This is why nearly everyone in the restarant/bar trade I know is either a heavy smoker, coke head or a lush.
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Oh well sex and drugs on tap soon then : ))

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Is Lusty travelling up to West Yorkshire again then?
Btw, turns out I have a friend who now lives in Hebden Bridge! He was telling me about it, and I couldn't work out why the name sounded so familiar at first, haha.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:43, Reply)

How can he afford to live there?

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:44, Reply)

I've no idea.
I've never known him to do a days work.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Do you think Monty will find out??

( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Not if you're very careful and he's already naked when he falls asleep : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:47, Reply)

hahahaha.

( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:50, Reply)

nn gg

surely?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:44, Reply)

I am tired and cannot spell.

( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:47, Reply)

'AWFUL!!!'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:49, Reply)

'WITH A KNIFE!!!!'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Jennings?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Don't start.

( wanderlust, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:51, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Very fucking well thanks for asking.
Alt. About a month ago, one beer led to a few, and I had to return after dinner, smelling of chewing gum. Fuck 'em.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Aren't you self employed?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Yeah, I do some work for the Big Life, in a net cafe.
Paid for spooking around online, and I get to tell people when their hour is up. Power!
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Ahh, I see

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I've always driven into work, so not really
although I've occasionally worried that - even though I've slept - I might still be over the limit in the morning.

The last time was way back when I'd been up drinking until 3am and at 8am a woman drove into the back of me at a junction. I'd done nothing wrong but all the participants in an RTA are breathalysed by default. Fortunately I WAS under the limit, but I've never done that again.

On the rare occasions I wake up still drunk I phone in with either "a family emergency" or "the shits" and go back to bed.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I considered it when I woke up, but decided against it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:43, Reply)

do you drive in?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Nope, licenseless.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:52, Reply)

I workrd for the council years ago.
Sick notes always consisted of "bad guts", "bad back" or "shits". No one could spell "diarrhoea".
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Don't you mean...
Ah, shit, you spelled it right.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Just looked it up.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Yup, I got breathalysed when I had my accident earlier this year.
It's the same here in Aus.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:57, Reply)

World's most dullest sockpuppet account ever.
It would be interesting, I guess, if it popped up and told people harshly facts about their lives, a bit like bert or whatever, but spouting irrelivent statistics isn't going to get anyone's juices going. Never mind, I'm sure that dullard is very smug about the whole thing; maybe they'll log back into that account and cause a bit of a kaffafule later on.

I'm going to write a letter to my MP this weekend, Barnet PCT have been fucking me around on funding for a treatment that would change my life, for 8 months. I'm going to end up shitting in a bag thanks to them. Apparently they meet up once a month to discuss giving funding for verious treatments, but this covers 5 PCTs.

There was something on the news about how they're delaying treatments so people eaither die off or give up,..
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2020048/NHS-cuts-waiting-lists-letting-people-die.html
www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23973964-nhs-cuts-waiting-lists-by-waiting-for-people-to-die.do

Bit sickening, really.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Get Chompy to use his clout with the NHS
he can threaten to withhold paperclips.

Seriously, that sucks dude. It's ridiculous how the NHS is constantly having to do this kind of shit because of government targets and spending cuts.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I know, right?
You'd think the NHS would be the single most important thing for the country.
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Yet they can still hire translators at £250/hour or whatever it is.
Not saying they aren't important, just that it's a rediculous amount.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Stop reading the Mail, gonz.
Honestly. The stress of all that bullshit is probably doing your guts no fucking good at all.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Nah', that figure was given by ex flatmates who both work in the NHS.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

"whatever it is" is not a figure

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I can't remember the figure, but it was somewhere between £250-500.
So I went for the lowest one
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Complete balls.
You're out by a factor of ten. Two minutes with google shows that it's up to about £50 an hour for face-to-face translation.

edit: and that's top end, I just looked at a list of freelancers offering translation services and they average less than half that.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:51, Reply)

And yet when I had to have two harmless lumps removed, (no, not them), I was in within a week or so, albeit as an out patient.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I didn't read his thread because he looked like a sucker.
Was it awesome?
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:02, Reply)

That report is purest bollocks, gonz.
It's from a right wing think tank run by a bloke who made his fortune in private health care and whose basic aim is to dismantle the NHS and replace it with a US-style private insurance system.

The clue should have been in the fact that the story is only running in the Mail and Standard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Still though, 8 months I've been waiting, since mid-dec, that's not right by any stretch of the imagination.
Apparenlty, according to the PALS person, they meet up for a few hours once a month to diguss funding for treatments that are given outside of their PCT. I don't see how that's right.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Sorry Gonz, but there will like as not be a good reason for this.
Drugs aren't cheap. We can't just all have whatever we want. There has to be a "value" judgement. Not because your treatment isn't important, but because there has to be an assessment of what else could be done with the money.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)

They aren't cheap, deffo, but they're cheaper than an operation and having someone not be able to work and pay tax on that work for a year that it'd take for recovery.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)

It really doesn't work like that.
And I bet you they aren't cheaper. Sorry, I know this is a late reply, work got in the way.

Chrone's is a chronic indication. You'd need the drugs all your life. That's probably a few hundred thousand quid at least.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)

That does sound a bit shit.
But resources are finite and the people who form the funding panel have real jobs - they're generally made up of senior medical staff.

If you want more money spent on your treatment then there are only really two choices: go private or support a better-funded NHS. Reading the NHS-hating Daily Mail and getting annoyed about it isn't helping anybody.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)

To be fair, I heard about it on LBC and TalkSport, and then just googled it so I can link to it on here.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I'm sure I don't need to say this, Gonz.
The Mail. THE MAIL. It's bullshit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Needs more house prices, asylum seekers and Princesses of Hearts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)

let's not forget one-legged muslism lesbians here.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

who could forget them?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I've got a semi now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)

How do you scissor with one leg?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

In a burqa.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Aaaaand I'm done.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)

the door is over there

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Where are the curtains?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

who cares so long as they match the carpet
and close tightly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I've got venetian blinds.
And a broken metaphor.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:31, Reply)

you can probably get some cream for that
it will help them go up and down a bit more smoothly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I keep getting the string caught on the window latch.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)

you only have the one window latch?
that is a very specialist complaint
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

hungover today, not drunk
but get this. 2 of the pikiest things i have ever witnessed (and i was born in halifax and i went to school in stockport and i have been shopping in macclesfield):

firstly, i bought some of those cadbury's sharer things (caramel nibbles, crunchie rocks etc) for a friend who is leaving work. then went past hotel chocolat and saw his favourite chocolate covered brazilnuts. which meant i had spare cadburys stuff, so my team had some. forgot to lock them up before going to the roof terrace bbq last night. this morning i find that the cleaners have eaten the LOT. apart from 1 sad solitary crunchie rock. because that way i won't notice everything else has disappeared??

secondly, at the leaving party, my friend had ordered platters of food. they arrived at about 7. when i got there at 9ish, there was quite a bit left, but it was looking pretty sad - cold chips, stale sandwiches etc. ebola on a plate, basically. anyway, as people thinned out a bit, these 3 lads sat down by the food. we didn't mind them being in the area because we were all standing up anyway. but then... they started hooning off the food. someone else's party food. someone else's old, rejected party food.

would you ever do either of the above? or am i being a prissy missy in finding both quite shocking?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Both are quite pikey

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:19, Reply)

i was really quite disgusted
it's about 3 months since a cleaner stole a lot of designer shampoo from a box in my room. he (i assumed it would be a she, but they caught him eventually and it was a bloke) had gone through the box to take a philip kingsley shampoo, a bumble & bumble conditioner etc, to make sure he had a full haircare set!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

that's just plain odd

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

i assumed he was flogging them
not using them. but maybe he just had a fancy shampoo fetish.

the irony is, i buy them in sets, so if he had just swiped a whole set, eg all 3 bits by philip b, i would never have noticed. as it was, i was looking for the matching shampoo/conditioner combo, and his attempt to be subtle tripped him right up. twat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

How is the agency you guys use still working for you? I'd have sacked them.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

to be fair
every city office i've ever worked in, the cleaners have very light fingers when it comes to food. you feel stupid locking chocolates and things in your desk drawer, but if you don't, they really do have the lot away.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

It's never happened where I've worked.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:30, Reply)

it didn't happen in uxbridge or didsbury
but it has always happened in london
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Forrins innit.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:35, Reply)

london scummers more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

It's pretty pikey
but I think you mean E.coli not ebola, dear. Unless you've got a plate full of microscopic stringy African viral hemorrhagic fever
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:19, Reply)

you have just described exactly what it looked like
after 4 hours of lying around the warm pub table
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)

My brother was once ejected from Pizzaland in Winchester
for staggering around, gibbering on LSD, and then sitting down at some family's table and helping himself to their meal.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

this makes me laugh a lot
not even somewhere classy. PIZZALAND?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I think he probably mistook it for fairyland.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

A stronger case for 'diminished responsibility' would be hard to make.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)

few examples on here
bert, for one
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I quite like how you're proud of this.
That's really scummy, like, proper scum, to go to a family place and take a boatload of drugs.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

in his defence
he took the drugs before he went into the family place
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I would suggest that it is necessary
to take a boatload of drugs before entering Pizzaland.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Cleaners stealing chocolate is a bit grim. I've done cleaning and would never think of stealing someone elses food off their desks.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)

more importantly though
www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/photo_0045.jpg

my phone camera is shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

OH! Love it!
that looks amazing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Very nice : )))

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)

nice
but i'm reeeeally not sure it's more important than missing chocolate!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I know
i just had to shoehorn it in somehow
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

good effort

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)

You hairy fucking yeti.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

haha!
He's all man innit.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I know
and that's with it shaved for tattooing purposes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Cool.
By the time you're sixty it'll look like the bruise from a pacemaker.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:28, Reply)

it'll match the bruise from my pacemaker

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Cunning.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I'd be fairly shocked...

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

People will bring old food from meetings round our way because they know my colleague will eat it.

( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)

we do that
i would always bring down an uneaten fruitbowl or sandwich platter from meetings so it doesn't get wasted. but only within the same hour, and only untouched food, and only by invitation!

and clearly i would never touch such a platter, being the fussy anal twat that i am about eating.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)

You talk about food a lot, I've noticed.

( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Food is good.
I like food. I'll happily talk to her about food.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

stop paying so much slavering attention to what i write then

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Slavering? I'm not the one constantly posting about what I'm eating.
Quite clearly any slobbering maws around here belong to you.
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I've eaten several hour old meeting sandwiches
My colleagues are amazed and appalled that I'll quite happily eat / drink stuff after the use-by date. It doesn't go bad instantly you know.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)

anything makes me squeamish
but hard, curled up bread is the worst. or soggy bread. cannot bear it, it makes me retch.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)

see I get worried when things get close to their use-by date.
If something is past it - I won't eat it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:48, Reply)

it's a fact that mars bars are better after their use by date

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Fucking hell.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:25, Reply)

i know
shopping in macclesfield, gross.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Am I the only one who doesn't find this shocking?
Cleaners, possibly on minimum wage, see chocolates on the desk of someone they know to be rather wealthy and have no qualms about eating them.
People who have been drinking for a couple of hours eat some leftover food.
There is nothing unusual going on here I'm sure.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)

the first one is theft
regardless of how wealthy they are. i earned £9,000 a year doing inventories etc for a letting agency, and i would never ever have nicked food from the big posh houses!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:31, Reply)

But you helped yourself to the silverware, right?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)

of course not
i restricted myself to sniffing pants and trying out sextoys.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I hope you washed them before you put them back
Now if you didn't then THAT would be pikey.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Some people see theft in shades of grey.
*shrug*
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Visage lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:33, Reply)

yeah, poor people

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)

People with a certain moral flexibility
/into film
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

it's not shocking
but it is pikey
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)

It doesn't matter what their age is, theft is theft, and it's not the item, it was the trust and inconvinance of expecting something you've bought and left in a place you'd think is safe, would still be there.
The food in the pub thing I semi-agree, it'd only end up in the bin, and after those few hours it doesn't mean it'll be off or manky or anything like that, but I'd have the self-respect not to take left-over food off someone else who I don't know's plate.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:33, Reply)

It's stealing no matter how wealthy the person is.
The second one is fine other than the fact the food is rank by that stage.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I doubt it was thieving cleaners.
I reckon it was her colleagues protecting her from becoming even more of a massive fat biffer.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I wish my colleagues would do the same.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)

dude
it's far too late for THAT.

unless marty mcfly decides to work here and can go back to, like, 1985 or something for that reason.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)

What, the last time you were thin was at 7 years old?
Intervention time.
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

+1

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Obesity's a national concern.
It's because of people like this that the NHS is introducing minimum waiting times in the hopes that people will die before treatment.
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)

They should make all the doorways narrower while they're at it.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Soz. Editized.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)

better
not perfect, but you are improving.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 10:45, Reply)