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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's not even five o'clock, it can't be dead yet.
Inspired by our own Foxtrot and blatantly pimped here.

How are you with computers? Are you like that guy in Swordfish who can hack into a mainframe while having a gun pointed at his head and his cock gobbled? Or are you just about ok with posting on here and get sucked in by Facebook viruses?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:29, 187 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I'm pretty good with them, have built several myself.
I find I can fix most problems (mainly because 99% of them are caused by malware, in my experience), but I would never claim to be an expert.

Sorry for killing the last thread.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I'm better than you

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I'd love to hear a list of ways.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Would you?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I see.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Good.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:34, Reply)
I'm alright with computers
I used to be a lot better when I was younger, but when I lost interest in maths, my computing ability dropped accordingly.

Nice poster
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Cheers.
I've lost ALL my maths ability from school other than some basic addition and subtraction, mainly because I've always had calculators, watches, phones, spreadsheets and computers to do all my difficult maths for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:33, Reply)
i actively enjoyed algebra
it's like codes and things.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:34, Reply)
I enjoyed maths somewhat at school.
I just had no need for it when I left as computers would do all my maths for me. Even now, if I need to work out the angle of something, I'll just google trigonometry and find some app of site that'll do it for me in less than a minute.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:41, Reply)
I would challenge myself to work it out
in my head. Then check in online. Then amend what I inevitably did wrong
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:43, Reply)
hehe, nice work
I'm only OK with computers, but I used to be part of a small group who taught basic IT in a rough area. After a while I became seen as 'that one who'll fix computers/cameras'. It was a largely unearned image, but it made me even more tenacious at fixing problems (usually by using google)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:32, Reply)
I'm like the lovechild of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Minted but fuck-ugly?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Like the opposite of Monty.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:34, Reply)
you fancy monty?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Who doesn' t, Cavy? Who doesn't?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:40, Reply)
sorry, should have said 'unwanted' lovechild

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:35, Reply)
I'm alright at them, I can break parts of facebook in a subtal way that only people who can do this sort of thing would notice.
It's like magicians who notice other ones because they have a magical aura about them. True. They all, the internet people, work around islington/farrigndon/barbican, we meet up sometimes at the starbucks and discuss what people will be seeing on their computers over the next few weeks. Such as the wicked new Nike advert at night.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:34, Reply)
As long as I always remain more computer literate than my mother
I think I'm doing ok. And I have plenty of geeky friends who can sort things out for me when necessary. I wish I knew how to fix my wireless without having to ring Virgin though, massive bunch of cunts that they are.

Also, that poster is freaking awesome.
(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:37, Reply)
Thanks.
CLEEEEEEEEEK EEEEEEEET!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Already have.

(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:44, Reply)
*bows*
How're you? When's the move? Is that the fella in those lovely pics?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Indeed it is
he met my parents and some of my friends from back home this weekend, and was more scared by the company I keep (he was several pints behind admittedly) than my family. Given that my family are one of the biggest bunch of windowlickers you're ever likely to come across, I'm not sure we made the best impression. Had a lovely, lovely time though.

I'll be moving to Leamington Spa on 4th September. However, Oxford are jerking me around something chronic so I don't actually start work there until 3rd October. But hey ho. At least I get my redundancy pay.

How're you?
(berk, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Improving ta, things are looking up.
Started the therapy a couple of weeks ago and it's looking good. Just took advantage of a weekend of fun with friends old and new, and really enjoyed myself. He's quite fit btw, nice work.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:58, Reply)
If you want me to "Fix" your "Virgin Wifi" then I might be able to "help"...."you".
You see, once you got access to the webadmin on the rooter, you can adjust the settings, sometimes you just need to change the channel if you're in a built up area or the linkup has gone out of sync so it needs rebooting. Could be one of many things really.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)
I use Virgin stuff and going to the web interface is the only way to do it
Their software is beyond turd.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Computers are a tool
I've no interest in learning the ins and outs of making a corkscrew. Likewise, I have no interest in the ins and outs of computers as long as they do what I want them to.

I can program, and I can do fairly clever stuff with them related to my research. But otherwise I just use macs as they are hard to fuck up and usually do what they are supposed to without throwing a strop. With the exception of fucking Lightroom.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:38, Reply)
what's up with lightroom?
I've not used it yet, although I think I probably should.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:41, Reply)
God knows
it's just started throwing paddies at me. I think one of the settings has been changed and it doesn't preview properly on print, but I'm buggered if I can work out why.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:44, Reply)
that just triggered my
teacher instincts - I was about to try and fix it before realising that a) I am nowhere near where you are b) I have not used that program before.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:50, Reply)
I am now annoyed at my work firewall
If I was any good with computers maybe I could disable it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:42, Reply)
hammer

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:43, Reply)
My trousers are nowhere near as baggy
Or as cool
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:45, Reply)
and you catergorically CAN touch this.
so I've heard.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:46, Reply)
BUT YOU STILL CAN'T TOUCH THE FIREWALL CAN YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:46, Reply)
have you tried feeding its mother thalidomide?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:43, Reply)
wouldn't work these days, it's perfectly safe now
and not called thalidomide, unsurprisingly.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:45, Reply)
if it doesn't do what thalidomide did, and it isn't called thalidomide anymore
then, just... oh fuck it
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)
it does do what thalidomide was meant to do
which was treat morning sickness. Without boring you more than is strictly necessary (sorry) the original drug was a racemic mix, which is to say two compounds that are chemically identical in almost every single way but bend light different ways. The L-version was a great drug, the R-version caused genetic abnormalities. Back then we couldn't separate L and R and anyway had no idea that the R form was harmful. Now we do and we can and the L version is sold under a different name for morning sickness. Or at least it was for a while
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:51, Reply)
well why didn't you just say so

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:54, Reply)
?
right.upthear.se/board/10502042
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Still no joy
I'll have a look at home and will PROBABLY click it. Bribes in chocolate form will be considered.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:49, Reply)
He's not going to offer his arse for a click

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Haha, I might you know.
I've only popular-paged /board the once, it'd almost be worth a shunt just to do it again.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Ah yes, it's probably b3tards.com that's blocked.
You'll click it, I know it.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:54, Reply)
My firewall gives the page but no pictures

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:55, Reply)
*awaits chocolate*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:56, Reply)
computers are like cars
I can drive one, I know where things are to check it's running okay, but I wouldn't do any repairs myself.

GALMI.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:42, Reply)
That's the thing I reckon, they're tools, if they can do their job, then that's what they're there for.
Someone who switches on and off a light switch, maybe even a dimmer switch, and can change the lightbulb.... that is all they'll generally need to know, and that's fine, you don't need to know how to rewire the room, you call a man in for that.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Exactly.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:51, Reply)
I can post here.
I don't know anything about anything, really.
I can't even figure out which program I should "download" "songs" from
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:43, Reply)
I could "point" you in the right "direction" if you wanted?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:46, Reply)
"that" would be "lovely"!
I used to use "shareaza" but it's "full" of "viruses" and takes about 3 "hours" to get "5" or "6" "songs".
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:47, Reply)
He's offering to be number 4 Kristine
/misreading situations
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)
who is number 1?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:51, Reply)
you are number 6

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:52, Reply)
I'm not a number
etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:52, Reply)
you are, number 6
(gives away the ending, that way)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 20:12, Reply)
I go to piratebay
you'll need a client to download the torrents, I use U-Torrent.

Install the client, go to the site, search, click what you want, click the download button, at the pop-up click "open" and your client will open and do the rest for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)
i do this alot
I'm sure movies give me viruses though
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:51, Reply)
*saves for later*
taaaaaaaaa
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:51, Reply)
torrentz.com

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)
I wrote this a while back
justpaste.it/fqw

It's a bit patronising, but the info in there is still ok.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Image fail?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:17, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHA NOT SO GOOD WITH COMPUTERS NOW ARE YOU AHAAA FASLDFKLAS

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:19, Reply)
I can't do anything : (
But I'm pretty good with my hands on more tangible practicle stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:48, Reply)
I am currently in possesion of a fucked laptop, off which i want to rescue my photos
but i have no idea how and the on line tutorials scare me
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:49, Reply)
you have to leave it submerged in water in a darkroom overnight

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:51, Reply)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:52, Reply)
also, put back in the fixer for a minute or so

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Take the hard drive out
and plug it into another machine.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:51, Reply)
This bit scares me...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:52, Reply)
It's not going to bite you.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:57, Reply)
What you do, right, is you take a sharp knife
and slit into your wrist. Once the blood starts flowing, drip it directly into the AC socket of your laptop. This will appease the gods of data, and your machine will start working again.

You have to be quick though, otherwise you might find yourself getting a bit light-headed...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:57, Reply)
What you have to do is repeatedly smash your little finger with a hammer
until it fits into the USB port - then all the pictures will appear in your mind. Then all you have to do is plug a mic into your new laptop, got to 'my pictures' and just describe them into the mic, and they'll appear.

Finally, kill yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:55, Reply)
Alright Monty
how's it going?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Shit beyond belief. You?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Not fantastic
What's up?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:03, Reply)
I really am struggling to muster up the will to leave my bed each morning.
Only the 'emotional hardcore' music genre holds any pleasure for me these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:04, Reply)
Thank 'God' for 'Combi Christ'

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:06, Reply)
Their aggressive technological dance-rock hybrid really addresses the homework-based woes of the small-town teenager of today.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Perhaps you should listen to some Simple Plan

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:08, Reply)
I know not of their wonders.
By that I really meant 'God I used to be reaally into them but then the boy two streets over who copies my hair got into them and now I hate them THEY'RE SUCH LOSERS'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:12, Reply)
Just to refresh your memory
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0U0AlLVqpk&ob=av2n
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:14, Reply)
You'd love them
xkcd.com/97/
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:14, Reply)
Wow they sound 'uber-cool',
That's like 'super-cool', but with a teutonic, industrial twist. Like that brilliant band 'Rammstein' who are in no way complete tossers.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:16, Reply)
'fuck' that 'shit'

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:09, Reply)
Everything just piling up?
Have you seen your daughter recently?

I hear Plumdozer might be able to help you with recommendations there
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:07, Reply)
I saw her on Saturday night/Sunday morning
but was not allowed to take her to Oxford to see my cretinous pater. This upset me, work is melting my mind and Lusty's going away for a fortnight on Saturday. Boo, but also, hoo.

Any luck looking for work? I'd give you a job but I really like you and I'd rather things stayed that way.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:09, Reply)
That's a bugger with the Oxford trip
very small-minded of your ex, given that your dad is in the UK so infrequently.

No luck with work, nowhere wants someone with a 2.ii. It's messing my mind up a little bit. Oh well.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:13, Reply)
i got hired with a 2:2, all you need to do is sneak in around the back!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)
Did someone call?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)
Again, I have smirked at this.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:20, Reply)
Defying the smirking ban, renegade that I am.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:20, Reply)
I hear that in Bolton
the pubs are thick with smoke and anybody who cracks a grin gets arrested.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:22, Reply)
Whereas anyone who chins a black is applauded
Madness
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:30, Reply)
Poppet's already suggested prostitution

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:16, Reply)
I got a 2:ii, and I'm apparently unemployable
but that might be unrelated.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:18, Reply)
so did I
but then I did a largely useless subject so I'd have been unemployable with a 1st
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:19, Reply)
Same here

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:54, Reply)
Patience, my dear.
Where are you looking (as in which town/city)?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:21, Reply)
Bristol or London
Bristol because I have basically free accommodation, London because it's where I want to be
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:36, Reply)
you should come and see mine she is awesome!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:13, Reply)
Jesting aside, I'd like that.


I've got the right fucking horn at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:18, Reply)
i hope being able to write this has cheered you up

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:19, Reply)
I'm trying to keep my end up, you know.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:21, Reply)
What's your daughter doing in the 1960s Albert Finney-starring classic?
Look at that, I made a film joke, just for you. I knew you'd love it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)
To my dismay I smiled thinly at that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:17, Reply)
In a pathetic attempt to continue my run of form in this respect I have been trying to conjur an amusing anagram from "I'm into film"
I have failed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:25, Reply)
I'm on it, MILF!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:27, Reply)
Well let us know when you come up with something
LOL!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:29, Reply)
Monty! Monty!
I said something REALLY FUNNY up there! You might even do a full smile!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:34, Reply)
Minor smirk only, soz.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:40, Reply)
*kills self*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:41, Reply)
*does full smile*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:44, Reply)
Now I know how Patrick Swayze felt at the end of Ghost
Or, indeed, now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:46, Reply)
It's funny because he's dead

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:49, Reply)
Knew I could rely on you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:29, Reply)
always ;-)

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:30, Reply)
Thank you all so much
having been massively unhelpful to that poor girl and her dog baby problem, i guess i deserve similar treatment.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Oh I'm fucking ACE, me.
I'm a 'hacker'. In fact I'm more of a 'hacktivist'. I know all the abbreviations for computery stuff, and I once got to level four on 'Way of the Exploding Fist' on the 'Commodore 64'. I'm like that 'Neil' from 'The Matrix' character, in fact he was based on me. I should have sued when that came out.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 16:59, Reply)
I've just rubbed engine grease into my eye.
So that's good.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:09, Reply)
Works for me. Do it again.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:10, Reply)
I'd rather I didn't,
it's not terribly comfortable.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:10, Reply)
Are you lubing up your 'brown eye' for role play night with darth?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:11, Reply)
Nono, just idly blinding myself

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:12, Reply)
I once got floor cleaner in mine once, it kept bubbling up whenever I tried to wash it out

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:14, Reply)
rear end gear oil is disgusting
Other than a morgue, it's probably the worst smell I've ever encountered
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)
So many euphamisms, so little time...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)
I had a clutch fail so spectacularly
that it fired a spring from the friction disc straight through the gearbox bell housing.

The smell from the 'box oil was a real treat. Especially since it was nice and hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:16, Reply)
a prime specimen of humanity like you?
I find that hard to believe. Flid.

EDIT: fuck yous all!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)
A prime what?
fucktard
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:18, Reply)
She sure schooled me!

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:19, Reply)
Gonz, give b3th her login back. It's not funny.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:19, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:19, Reply)
internet lesson 1
if you are going to call someone stupid in any capacity, ensure that your post is spelt correctly with perfect grammar.

i have never learnt this lesson
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:22, Reply)
I thought it looked weird.
My gonzism is getting worse...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:23, Reply)
You're incapable of learning this lesson.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:29, Reply)
This is very true

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:30, Reply)
He can't even learn to pull out

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:32, Reply)
Great. Now it's all kicking off in Hackney.
I just had a call from a lolarious chum telling me my house was probably going to be burnt down soon.


Luckily so far it's only in the 'scary darkie bit' not the 'fixie-riding spam javelin bit' which is where I live.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:42, Reply)
Yeah I heard about all that.
Looks like everybody's getting in on the action.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:44, Reply)
New televisions all round! Huzzah!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:44, Reply)
How much of it is just thugs taking the opportunity for a bit of violence, do you reckon?
Surely nobody outside of Tottenham gives a shit about this Duggan bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:48, Reply)
Most pieces I've read on it
reckon it's almost entirely simple thuggery jumping on a bandwagon
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:49, Reply)
and sticking it to the man!
but mostly the free stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:49, Reply)
It doesn't take much of an excuse, does it?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:50, Reply)
At what point are they going to realise there's nothing leftr to nick?
We should send Boris in. He'll call them oiks and send them packing.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:56, Reply)
I don't even know who you're on about
Which reinforces your theory, but only slightly; news takes a long time to reach Norfolk. When discussing current affairs I try to stick to the perennials. Luckily politicians will always be shits and England are unlikely to ever be as good at football as the average fan would desire.

If Amy Winehouse ever dies I'll run out of celebrity-based material, though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:50, Reply)
I don't want to think about what's stuck to your perineum.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:52, Reply)
Well, you obviously do
You brought it up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:55, Reply)
You passed it first.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:56, Reply)
It's a minimum of 95% opportunist thieving.
No-one in Tottenham gives a toss about the chap either. One of my staff is a bit of a wrongun and has confirmed that everyone he knows has gone on a robbing rampage just because they think they can get away with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:51, Reply)
Which they probably can.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:53, Reply)
cctv is a lot clearer than it used to be.
Anyone rioting in daylight without a hood & scarf on (and there are plenty of people that stupid, it seems) is taking a massive risk. That said, even of we could lock them all up there's nowhere to put the little scrotes.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:59, Reply)
Time for me to dust off my "Wall off Manchester and use it as a prison" plan
You know, like in Escape From New York, the 1981 John Carpenter film starring Kirk Russell?

Film. I'm into it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:01, Reply)
Kirk?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:03, Reply)
He's like Kurt Douglas
only younger.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:05, Reply)
I think that's being generous
I'd say it's closer to 100% thieving scum cunts.

It's kicking off in Lewisham and even bloody Southgate and Barnet are closing up early.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:54, Reply)
I'm off home to defend my house*. See ya.


*hide in my house
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:13, Reply)
Lewisham you say?
This would explain all the riot vans screaming past in that direction earlier. Oh bugger.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:37, Reply)
so, erm
are we going to have to have a roll call for all london b3tans to check they are alive?

what's the theme-tune to this riot? I've not been watching the news
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:43, Reply)
I'm here and OK so far.
It's Stunned I'd worry about as he's in Lewisham.

Theme tune:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiQoq-wqZxg
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:46, Reply)
They're all at the chinese, the place is packed with hoodies, I want to yell out the window "I PREDIECT A DIET" but they'll firebomb my house =(

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:46, Reply)
Where you at Gonz?
I forget.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:47, Reply)
Southgate, on the high street (not 'high street', but the high street, which is called something else, which I won't say on here out loud).

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:49, Reply)
Good luck.
Nothing going on here, except vans headed for Lewisham, but with Peckham on one side and Deptford on the other, for once I am glad there are no decent shops in new cross. I cannot see them looting Perfect Fried Chicken, so should be relatively safe.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:54, Reply)
I got a great mental imagine of some hoodie making off with an elephant-leg from a kabab shop and giving his whole 'state e coli 'cus they can't cook it properly.
True story, I was once at a house party, was sent for food, I came back with £50 worth of kabab'n'chips for everyone (which is quite a bit for a 17 year old), but the best thing was, I got two bottles of Burger Sauce. Totally pulled 'cus I got that.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:03, Reply)
well don't forget to post
if your house is on fire
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:55, Reply)
Haha, I won't =)

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:03, Reply)
Gone as far as Beckenham and Croydon now.
Word on the street is Bromley is getting hit up tonight, I'm 100% getting involved if that happens. There's some stuff I want from Gap.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:49, Reply)
*uploads your photo to the FRDB*

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:50, Reply)
Romford too, I've heard

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:52, Reply)
i only just remembered my brother is in London -
where's all this compared to canary wharf?

also - shit - my cousin just went back to work. As a police officer.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:51, Reply)
Yay!
What do they look like? We need a hero!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:53, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCOPuGBg_W0
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:53, Reply)
She's tall, dark haired
and apparently looks enough like me to obviously be related.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:54, Reply)
Does she have nice tits, and is she 'well fit?'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:12, Reply)
*shrugs*
she's my cousin - I ain't noticed
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Are you sure you are Welsh?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:14, Reply)
*glares*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:16, Reply)
Canary wharf is about as safe as It gets I reckon
So far it's mostly kicking off in poor areas and/or ones with bigger than average ethnic minority populations. Canary Warf is rich and white.

Edit: your cousin is fucked though.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:56, Reply)
and my brother probably hasn't left the house in a week

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:57, Reply)
"Land of Hope and Glory".

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:54, Reply)
Not bad.
I can use MS Office and SAP without breaking it, and I've mucked around enough over the years to find my way round Visual Basic, C-type languages and x86 assembly, but it's not something I'd ever want to do professionally.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:54, Reply)

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