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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What are you up to this weekend, you insufferable windbag?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:22, 198 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Seeing the grandrentals, which will be tedious, but there will be good food
You?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)
Camping you cunt! you?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)
You're wearing a feather boa and high heels
before sitting down to eat your own weight in ribs?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
you are like the athletes foot of b3ta.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)
flakey, ithcy and caused by yeast?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)
And Hell's own job to get rid of.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)
always there, irritating occasionally, not dangerous enough to worry about.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)
I like how this also describes you, particularly the last bit.
Because you're too fat to move quickly.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)
it's funny
because you two are basically twins. and not the arnie/danny devito kind
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
wanna bet?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Yes.
So how do we arrange a game of "Internet Kiss-Chase" for you two then?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Oh, is that internet hard manning?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
no it's an offer of a wager to see if your argument holds water.
Why not do it at Montys bash? see how slow I am then?
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)
Yeah!
Then you could, like, really impress the girls with some press-ups or something.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)
I have my lycra one piece all ready.
and the accord is filled up and ready to go.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Seeing a couple of friends tonight, hopefully getting smashed with them
Tomorrow it's a friend's birthday, so I'm out with her and her mates.
Sunday, I'm planning to have a massive clean up of my room, get rid of boxes, etc. This is unlikely to happen though.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

smashed my back doors smashed in
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Well, it's 2 girls, so I can't see that happening.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)
What if they use hammers,
And a traffic cone?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Today's /OT is sponsored by Peter Sutcliffe. And hammers.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

/OT Seasame Street
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)
Then you'll probably be able to hear me screaming.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Awesome.
Can you Youtube it for me?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)
Hockey tournament tomorrow
Whereupon apparently I have to produce a photograph of me playing in pink socks as rswipe wishes to see this wonder of sartorial sports kit. Other than that, I might go do some work and watch cricket. Rock and roll.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)
yes please
this will be the highlight of my monday
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)
Reptile Fair at Kempton Park.
It's gonna suck.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Doing a big run
Having a BBQ
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Childish, I know
run poo
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
I thought about it. Don't feel bad, Tango.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)
I'm looking forward to this even more now.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)
How big?
The run.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)
About five and a bit miles I think.
That's big for me. Stop smirking.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
I used to do five and a bit minutes.
But had to give up on account of it being no fun at all.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)
I'm so "into running" now
that I read that as five and a bit minutes per mile. And I thought, that's about what I run.

But you didn't say that.

So I was wrong.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)
I really didn't
and I don't think it was as far as a mile either.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Sorry, that's completely wrong
I run at about 5 and a bit miles an hour, which equates to about 10.5 minutes per mile.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)
I run* around the block
Wheezing and swearing all the way.

*inaccurate use of present tense there
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:19, Reply)
Drinking

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

drinking wanking into my wife's oven glove
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)
After two children
it's not an oven-glove as much as a oven-hood
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Going to NORTHAMPTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOooooo!!!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)
You really take sarcasm to new levels

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Great. Now I have 'Typically Tropical' on the brain.
Thanks a fucking lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Oh!
The Jewel Of England!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Second only to Dunstable.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Party party.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Tonight I shall be keeping it real on the DL, chilling in my crib with my OG niggaz.
Tomorrow morning I shall see my daughter, after that I think I shall go on the FUCKING RAMPAGE.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Olive Garden?
Overbearing Grandparents?
Oscillating Gibbons?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)
Owl Glove.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Olfactory Grime

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Onanism Gathering
Bunch of wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Ordinary Growler

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Original Gangster
So-called because they're actually old enough to have starred in the 1949 Jimmy Cagney classic White Heat.

"Monty is old" and "I'm into film" in one post. Points, please.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
*points*
*laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:43, Reply)
Original Gangstah, you oaves.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
There are few things more OG than middle-class, greying white guys.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)
I think that's exactly what Ice-T had in mind when he wrote his 1991 album of the same name
He was spending a lot of time with the Quo. Shoulda killed 'em last year.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)
going to the hospital club tonight
unless my current hangover kills me first. tomorrow i am going to the cinema and for dinner with a friend. sunday i have to work :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)
eating pie tonight
have some drinks and a smoke.

some birthday activity tomorrow. not sure what. fairly sure now that it isn't go-karting, so I haven't got a fucking clue.

Then people are coming to celebrate my continued existence
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)
When I went Go Karting we all ended up with massive bruises on our left elbows as the engine was very close to the seat and we were only turning to the left.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
I was hoping it was go karting because it'd be the first time doing it where I have the weight advantage
the place near here has a good track as well. equal mix of corners.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)
Go looting!
All the cool kids are doing it.
Plus Y'know... Hanging out with 11-year-olds must be your "thing", if you wanted to go Karting...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)
there's nothing worth looting in Devon
and all 11 year olds are chained to ploughs
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Sure thing,
Gary.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
When I went go karting we all went to Wimpy and then to see ET
It was Jimmy's seventh birthday and he got a badge.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:41, Reply)
There's still a Wimpy
In Epping.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Near the Kebabbery?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)
Maybe...
Near that Italian place, I think. Been a while since I was there. Couple of years.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)
The last time I went to one of those sort of birthday parties
it was someone's 13th, and we went swimming, and one of the boys got an erection at the top of the high diving board. He couldn't run away, so he had to stand up there waiting his turn to jump. It was hilarious to all those of us who weren't him.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Nonce

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:47, Reply)
I don't miss being that age.
Supremely awkward. You do learn some valuable stealth boner skills, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
at least I can afford to eat at Wimpy

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Surely your parents are paying anyway? Bit mean for your birthday treat otherwise, eh?
One of your friends will get over-excited during 'pass the parcel' and piss himself. You mark my words.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
no, my parents have squandered all their money on gin and fingerless gloves
one of my friends probably will piss himself though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)
Are they reviewing the situation?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
I once pissed myself in Quazar because it was the first time I had seen anyone in strobe lights and it was like pictures rather than moving and I found it so funny that I wee'd my shell suit.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)
Absolutely nothing
Glorious nothing. Was supposed to be going out but don't have the money. Plus am cutting back on the alcohol.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)
Tomorrow, (I am so proud of myself for this), I'm gonna be social TWICE.
First off, a friend in my course is a masseuse and wants someone to be a model so she can palpate the muscles we've been learning, and offered to give me a free massage if I act as her dummy for an hour.
Secondly I'm going to a roller derby for a friend's birthday. EXCITING!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)
I could really do with a massage, my back is killing me.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)
your face has been killing the rest of us for some time

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
It killed Bellas Vagina
It used to be normal before he went near it, now, as we all know it looks like this

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Drop that on a barbers floor, and you're not too inaccurate, I suppose.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)
I've shagged worse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:47, Reply)
you should not speak ill of your mother

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:47, Reply)
I've shagged worse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
You should not speak ill of the dead

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)
I've never had anyone as good as your Mum.
She was fucking fantastic. Flexible, accomodating, dirty. Great.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)
Didn't put up a fight
She is dirty though, I'll give you that.

She gets soil everywhere...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
Hahaha.
I am sure she is a lovely lady.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)

i wa

Aye, she was alreet.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)
HAS ANYONE CHECKED TO SEE IF SHE HAS SMASHED UP THE SYSTEM TODAY?
OH LORDY
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
I'd love to go to a roller derby
I haven't had my skates on for years. There isn't really anywhere here flat enough to skate : (
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:43, Reply)
I'll go roller skating with you, I used to be good in my teens.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)
Before you discovered pies
and ribs.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:48, Reply)
I was always on my roller boots when I was about 12
I used to skate up and down the road outside our house, reading. Used to completely baffle the grown-ups.

I think I need proper roller boots again, instead of my inline ones, though.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
You used to live in Reading?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)
I knew a person from Reading at school
she was dull as shit.

And they have a poncy shopping centre.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)
Reading to WSM, you are all about the glamour

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
I never lived in Reading! How very dare you?
I just went there once, on a boating holiday.

Also, it turns out that the poncy shopping centre I'm thinking of wasn't in Reading, it was in Windsor. Reading was just a shithole.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
HA HA YOU'RE FROM READING!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)
She really should kill her self

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)
I tried, the other week.
it didn't work.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)
My uncle invented two-tones, true story.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)
That's a great story.
What are two-tones?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)
How can you be a rollerderby queen without knowing what two-tones are !
They're the wheels that are half one colour and half another colour.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Yeah, well my dad's Bruce Lee.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)
Yeah', well, your dad had sex with another man while wearing bauor turbos with pink hockey socks that started off stretched high but ended up around the boot and that's where the fassion came from.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)
How did you know? It's our 'family secret'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
I heard you wear your box inside out and can't tell the difference.
Poor Lusty =(
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
I am cooking
Umbrian Lentil & Home-Made Sausage Stew tomorrow. It is superb and I do a good effort. If I say so myself.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:42, Reply)
I'll be round about seven, pissed out of my bonce.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)
You are more than welcome.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
If you fancy it old bean.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)
Might do. Depends if I can find my passport.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)
Haha.
Get us some duty frees if you cross the river.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)
where abouts are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Mighty Sham.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)
Sounds lully, although I'd prefer beans to lentils

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)
You can make it with those white spanish beans. add a bit of morcilla.
Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:48, Reply)
Taking Ms Foxtrot's brother to see the final Harry Potter film tomorrow night
Nothing in it for me, of course. Apart from that, running, dancing, finale of Supernatural series two and trying not to visibly disapprove of the bloke the sister-in-law is having over for dinner tonight.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)
Is this the same little scrote who shot you in the nuts?
I'd steal his popcorn, if I were you.

And why is prospective brother in law disapproval-worthy? Is he a closet bumder obviously not worthy of such a good looking woman?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:47, Reply)
He's got a better idea
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzqAQRbmRXk
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
Part of me is instinctively protective of the missus' youngest sister
Part of me thinks the man is worthy of congratulations for his bravery.

And yes, same scrote. There will be no popcorn.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)
and another part of you is jealous as hell?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
Nope
I've got the (reasonably) sane version
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
But you would bone her?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)
I'm not Bert
And nor shall I fuck off like him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:03, Reply)
Bert boned his own sister.
This is completely different. OK almost.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)
After nine and a half years you do start to blur the lines somewhat
My boss chastised me for seeing her as a sister instead of a sex object when I told him she lives with us. The same chap bollocked me for choosing bed with the missus over the end of the other night's Forest match with the words "I'd understand if it was someone else, but you can go to bed with your missus whenever"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)
You live with her sister?
Oh man. I don't know what I'd do.

Have you had any accidental towel drops?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:21, Reply)
Walked in on her in the shower a week or so ago
Mortified
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)
I think you know exactly what you'd do
Sewing weights into the bottoms of all the towels, for one.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:37, Reply)
Sounds like a dick. I'm all for treating women as sex objects
but you have to be consistent or they get all stroppy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:22, Reply)
Bless them.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:25, Reply)
He is, a bit
While he was chastising me for this responsible attitude towards my girlfriend, I asked him calmly how many times he's been married. That shut him up.

(Twice. In his twenties)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)
How much are you going to offer him to wank you off during the trailers?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
he's going for the old "hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket" trick

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)
Bag of popcorn.
That's like... Eight quid, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)
I bet he has holes in his ears, those big ones, that you can stick your willy in, one in each side, and then he can shake his head like the churchhill dog.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)
How are those new drugs working out for you, Gonz?
Because they're working for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)
I'll have two of whatever Gonz is on.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)
ok seriously I'm sending someone round to hide all the cutlery

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)
He's like Gonz Squared today.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)
I fully expect to find he's made another gonz out of egg boxes and an old computer later that reads all of gonz's posts in a stephen hawking voice

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:03, Reply)
And then orders strange liquers off the internet.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)
I don't mind that as much as I get to drink them.

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)
You could invite me round
and we could drink them together.

You know, just a thought, since I'm only ten minutes up the road.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)
Have you seen part one of the finale?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)
Yep, got it from LoveFilm the other day.
EDIT: thought you meant Harry Potter! Watched part one this morning. Oooooooohhhhh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)
:) Enjoy
it's quite an emotional finale
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
Can't wait to find out how he survives this one, I must admit

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)
Tragic that episode was :(

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Nnngh
Is it hometime yet?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
If you need a wank that badly, go do it in the toilets like normal people.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)
Normal people?
Masturbate in work lavatories?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)
Don't they?
It's been a long time since I worked in an office building. I may be out of touch...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)
out of touch=unsatisfactory masturbation.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)
Last time I told you I was going to the toilet you were "disgusted"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)
That was just a cover
so the others wouldn't know I was secretly thinking about your penis.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)
Sparkly penis?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)
It's FABULOUS!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)
*squeals*
I LOVE what you've done with it!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)
Oh, he *wishes* I'd done something with it!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)
*agrees far too readily*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)
I am stunned by your gayness today
You do realise there are no gay West Ham fans anywhere in the world? I put it to you, sir, that you are a closet Brighton fan
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)
Are you saying Wet Ham Man was gay???

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:23, Reply)
Is that the one you bummed in that story?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)
How DARE you!
*flounces*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)
Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)
When it comes to sex, we know that poo'ing on someone is more extreme than wee'ing on someone, but is vomiting better or worst than poo'ing ?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
Better.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
All of which are better than putting a komodo on.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
I still reckon if he can get a komodo on
he's a lot harder than we give him credit for.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)
Reading all of this has actually given me a massive komodo-on

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)
It's got massive claws and spits poison?
Poor Lusty :(
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)
They aren't technically poisonous

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)
They just have bacterial saliva, I know
I was improvising for comedic purposes.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Just checking

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
I've heard it's scaly

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)
I've heard it can kill a buffalo.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
I've heard it can consume birds' eggs in one swallow.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)
I've heard it hibernates nine months out of the year.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)
I've heard the locals worship it as a God

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)
I heard kevlar is made from it's pubic hair.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)
It used to
but they got some drugs to perk it up.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)
nine months? I wish, more like four years.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)
four years out of the year?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)
Gonz is a time lord.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)
I want a sonic screwdriver.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)

sonic
driver
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:18, Reply)
Hey! Me too!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:18, Reply)
You wish.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:20, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:21, Reply)
Hating that beard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:22, Reply)
Well
That's in my wank bank now.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:22, Reply)
if that goes in the wank bank
then the banking system has far more problems than we feared.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

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