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This is a question Off Topic

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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Do I have to do everything around here?
For fuck's sake.

Magazines - a moribund media format or not? I rather like The Chap and The Idler. I let my Classic Rock subscription lapse due to its shitness, but now find myself buying it in Sainsbury's. FOR TWICE THE PRICE.

What a crazy mixed-up world, eh?

Alt: bollocks - God's little joke or beautiful orbs of spunky magic?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 10:58, 187 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Lame.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Better than dancing

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I know.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Lamé.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Private Eye, The Economist and occasionally The Oldie
not entirely sure why on that last one.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Same.
I like having them delivered because it means no effort on my part.

Alt: They are just another thing to get cancer in.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)
i like the idea of magazines
you can read them in teh bath. Only read New Scientist (and that only infrequently) and the odd photography magazine (not porn - shut up you gits)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)
"Odd pornography"?
Like... Granny/horse/midget Combo Monthly?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)
no, more household appliances
and references to quantum states
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Quantum porn?
Schrödinger's Cock.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Schrödinger's Scat.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Heisenturd's uncertainty principle

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)
You win this one.
I just choked on a throat-sweet.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Yes.
No.
No.
Alt: Neither.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)
You are a barrel of laughs today.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)
*shrug*

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Will a jaffa cake cheer you up?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Oh my god I had a giant jaffa cake yesterday,
It was heavenly.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)
??!???!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)
it was this thing at the library - it was like... chocolate coated cookies sandwiching orange flavoured cream,
but the cookies were the texture of the underside of a jaffa cake.
It was the size of my freaking HAND.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Are your hands normal size?
This is an important factor.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Yeah I'd say so.
Maybe on the small side - I usually wear small gloves in the prac labs, but they're not freakishly tiny no.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Haha!
I love how seriously you took that question.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)
I thought you were asking seriously....

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)
...

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Yes. I know.
I'm tired, forgive me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)
om nyom nyom

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)
definitely!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Gary Rhodes
does a fantastic Jaffa Cake Pudding which is basically a cake-sized version of the popular snack. He's a fucking cunt though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)
I can't stand that patronising wanker.
He was doing some Italian show a while back with some local expert or something and he'd re-explain *everything* she said whilst she wore an expression that said:

"who the fuck do you think you are, you cuntish little spastic?"
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)
The Nigel Kennedy of food.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Christ, another person I loathe.
I wonder if my dislike of people is based purely on that fucking stupid haircut they both share.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)
It doesn't help.
Maybe the hair is a hatred gateway.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)
The grub in his City restaurant is nice.
I think he's a top bloke and would love to spend time with him in a car or on a train.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)
I can barely stand spending time on the same planet as him.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)
He is, fundamentally, an oxygen thief.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

with pushing
in under
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
vivat bacchus the other night
pudding is basically an orb of chocolatey goodness - chocolate ice cream inside a warm soft chocolate shell. with hot caramel sauce poured all over the top.

we hooned this off after a trip to the famous CHEESE ROOM.

and i wonder why my jeans don't fit :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)
Does it come with a side order of frozen turds?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)
I used to get the quarterly magazine Quim. Not much use for it anymore.
I only get the tattoo magazines now and then. Oh and I buy Marie Claire if I'm going on a long train journey.

Alt: God's little joke methinks.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Or the magazine!!!!!! LOL!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)
You are so LoLerific today Monty.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)
I know.
I'll be roffling by lunchtime, you mark my words.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I'll flick through them in the shop, but rarely purchase
WHICH IS TRICKY WHEN I'M HAVING A FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE OVER ASIAN BABES
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)
GET OUT OF MY SHOP?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)
'This is not a library sir'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)
Nah it's a mosque

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)
I like reading trashy ones in the doctor's waiting rooms.
Although I really like National Geographic and New Scientist.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)
I like NG for the tits.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)
You would.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)
He likes them saggy and bare

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)
With nipples like pygmy cocks

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)
And cocks like pygmy nipples

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)
I am so turned on right now.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Well like attracts like I guess

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Dry and stretched marked.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Like "Strewth!" and "G'day, Cobber!" magazines?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)
The Great Galar

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)
yeah nahhhh, more Women's Weekly and New Idea.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)
I keep meaning to get National Geographic but never do.
I really should get a family member to get me a subscription for Xmas.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)
It's shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I'd love to be one of their photographers, though

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)
For the tits?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)
They wouldn't compare with yours.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)
Well, mine are quite...*feels*
Damn it, they've gone again!
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)
I knew it made no sense as soon as I posted it.
Your missus has a lovely pair though. Oh the fond drunk memories I have of them...
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)
They are truly magnificent
And bountiful enough to cover for both of us, in my current flat-chested condition.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)
pfffffft.
Jealous. I wish mine were as fantastic as hers. I always had massive tit-envy while I was around her.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)
I don't want to be shallow
but I miss Lampito and her amazing breasts
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
I think a lot of people do
If I'm ever to catch up, I either need to hit the soy milk or the beer pretty damn hard. And you can probably guess which of the two is more likely.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
i totally love tits
but I'd get to photograph more for BBC Wildlife
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)
You keep harshing my buzz : (((

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)
You're missing a dude on the end of that

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)
Wrong subthread; tits conversation is in the one above

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)
Does Viz count as a magazine?
I would buy that more regularly but am deterred by the excessive price and massive fluctuations in quality nowadays. Alternatively I could go back to Private Eye, but I've long since given up on the delusion that witty political satire is becoming of me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Tish and pish.
You sell yourself short.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Hmm...perhaps you're right
Maybe I should start putting about that I'm incredibly witty. And charming, to boot.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)
And bent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)
I think enough people are already propagating that one for me round here...


And yet I still haven't had a cock-gaz from Darth
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Oh!
You're a bender as well?
Logged and noted.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)
Come back to Private Eye
better for your health than Viz
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)
I can see how it might be better for my bank balance
But my health?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)
People who read Viz
are statistically more likely to die of an obesity induced heart attack. As opposed to the lean, fighting fit segment of the population that reads Private Eye*

*definitely contains elements of untruth
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)
Is that, possibly, because a lot of the people who read Viz are also Northern?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)
It's definitely possible
and also because the stuffed up sinuses that result in the characteristic snorting laughter are a health hazard
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
My friends have previously told me to go and sit at the opposite end of the bus
Because they were embarrassed by my giggling as I read the Profanisaurus.

So I guess social isolation is also a risk.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Plus the risk of getting your head smashed in
when you constantly relay jokes and quotes from it to people who already know them/ have read it/ heard them five hundred times before
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)
Ah, true
But that's a risk with a lot of things - see how the legacy of Monty Python was ruined by members of various computing/sci-fi/fantasy-related university societies...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
hey
i am super-hyper-morbidly obese and northern but i don't read fucking viz!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)
And yet I do read it, despite being terribly, terribly 'home counties.'
But then my family is from the midlands, so perhaps that's where it's leaked in from...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)
blimey
you kept that well hidden.

also you did not point out that i am NOT, in fact, quite sooooo obese, despite having met me. 1/10 for YOU...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)
Well, I was born down South, hence the complete lack of any discernible accent

And I assumed you were joking. You and I both know you're not obese.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)
a brummie accent is a handicap
your parents did well to avoid it for you.

/is mollified
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)
I regularly buy Practical Classics magazine
because I'm a tedious car wanker. Worse still, a tedious car wanker that statistically enjoys pipes, beards and replica flying jackets.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)
i thought these were all car parts then
i was properly confused
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)
I don't bother with magazines.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)
There's no witty reposté to this.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)
As proven below

(PsychoChomp, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)
I'm tired alright

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Ha, at least you're trying
better than most on here.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Which is why you're a useless soldier

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)
Proved me fuckin' wrong...

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)
Or deadly right as the case may be

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)
*shrugs*

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Boom boom - or not....

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)
just the one boom probably
still, that should be enough. fingers crossed, eh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)
When Saturday Comes and occasionally Private Eye
There's always at least one of those awful "I married a badger, my baby was born with cucumbers for arms, a moose once bit my sister" TRUE STORIES magazines in the break room.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)
alt:
they are funny looking things, and it amuses me that sometimes they can be soft and slack and sometimes ripe and bursting, even if the cock is in exactly the same state on both occasions. i quite like sucking them gently. but lots of guys say they've never had that done. so i wonder if this makes me really really weird.

also, what's for lunch? EAT has fire roasted pepper, pesto and goats cheese soup... any better ideas?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)
I'm afraid the first part of your post
put me off the second part of your post
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)
yeah
i did think that myself when i re-read it. oh well. it has pesto AND goats cheese AND it's less than 5% fat (so probably not too much of either, sadly)...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Re: sucking them gently
Depends on the guy. If you've been stopping men at random in the street to gently suck their clockweights, yes, that would make you weird.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)
clockweights?
wouldn't that imply that one was consistently a worrying amount lower than the other??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Aren't they normally...?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)
not to quite the same extent
you should see a doctor maybe?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Better lunch ideas?
Nope.
Actually, if the roast pepper was stuffed with goat cheese and pesto. And mushrooms. That'd be better.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)
and coriander flavoured rice?
bloody hell, now i want that soooo bad.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Nah, I'd go with
Turmeric and tomato cous cous.
Even though that makes me sound twistier than The Supreme Crow...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)
it does
but it also sounds fit.

i'm bloody starving now.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Don't talk about food
after my weekend-frenzy I'm finding it incredibly difficult to go back to carrots and oxo cubes
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)
i feel your pain
my boss bought me a hotel chocolat slab, it is banoffee flavour, and i have basically hooned most of it since 9.30am today. gaaaaah.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)
My brother did the small shop today
to prevent me from temptation, and came back with club biscuits, crisps, beer and chocolate. This beats his previous attempt where he returned home with carrots for me, and two tiramisus and two chocolate cakes (full size) for himself. He proceeded to eat both tiramisus in front of me
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)
bloody hell
you need to shop for a new brother!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:47, Reply)
He's coming very close to an axe in the head at the moment

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)
Hahahha

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)
At 6'3 and irritatingly thin
he can afford to eat it. At a tubby 5'6 I can't
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Me too.
Plus I'm ill today, so I can eat WHATEVER I want, with no consequences.
So I'm going for the £3 crispy shredded beef and rice from the place over the road.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)
feed a cold
and teh AIDS
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
I've got courgette and feta frittatas
I made them myself. Tonight I'm cooking Ms Foxtrot griddled artichoke and red pepper paella. I expect to be hungry again on Monday evening.

EDIT: this is for the Alt, I don't have frittatas where my balls should be, although they'd be about as much use
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)
only on b3ta
could a conversation about teabagging degenerate so rapidly into a food thread.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Sad state of affairs.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)
i know
i don't even like tea
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
WHAT?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
Oh thank GOD
I was beginning to think it was just me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
you should all be put on a special island
then bombed to death for heresy
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)
I'm only posting here because
Holy fucking shit it's CAWL!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Fo' Sho.
You de-jetlagged?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)
Almost, still woke up at 6am this morning
How come you're back here?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)
I'm not at work today.
One of those stupid headaches where you can feel the blood pumping in your head, and lights make you feel sick.
Screen brightness down, aviators and dressing gown on.
If I die on the toilet, it'll be rather Elvis.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:43, Reply)
I lost my Tesco £5 aviators in Japan
I came off a bike on a downhill course and smashed my head into the ground so hard that not only did they come off, but I forgot I was even wearing them until I got to the base of the mountain and noticed I was missing them.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Awesome!
That's a proper bail. Did you go to a sex-hotel?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)
Sadly not
Two weeks was simply not enough to do everything I wanted to do, so I'm planning on going back asap.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:48, Reply)
More pictures of you
Flipping the bird?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)
I cannot stop doing it
I have a picture of me braving the freezing conditions at the top of Fuji, in only my boxers, flipping off the entire country. I have a serious problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)
We knew that already.
You MUST BE STOPPED!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)
You spelt HIGH-FIVED wrong

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)
Ha!
The desire to connect a closed hand to the face is NOT a high-five.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)
In other news I ate shark cartilage and shredded stingray
I now have the strength of the ocean AND have avenged Steve Irwin.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)
Which was tastier?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)
Stingray
It was a delicious pub snack, served with a pot of mayonnaise.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Amazing!
Did you try that Shinji Ume stuff, the plum wine?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Yes, it's very tasty
The Japanese girl we abducted got smashed off the stuff a few nights in a row.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
Good work!

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)
Everyone should read this
www.b3ta.com/links/671019
funny links argument.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)
Read that earlier
What a bellend.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)
A brilliantly bellend,
The best trolls couldn't act like that much of a cunt. His anger towards TheSundaeLunch and maiden just came from nowhere.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
Oh I agree
It's hilarious to read.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)
Haha!
"the second one is a chiropractor who thinks he can change his DNA with his mind."
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)
That's possibly the best bit.
Oh and the "fact" that any woman can get sex if they want it. He's a prick
(PsychoChomp, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)
He's a moron as well
I bet he has a tinfoil hat
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)
Yeah, he certainly is.
Sounds like one of those people who'd buy "Quantum energy pendants".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
Superb. Loved it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)
Nothing to do with the questions
but just read something on FB that tickled me.

Steve Jobs meant to type "I reign as Apple CEO"

Damn you, autocorrect!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)
*stony-faced silence*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
Obvious strikethrough is obvious...
y ed

... and makes the joke even less funny
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)
I dunno it's a general improvement on your usual postings

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Look, it's only fucking Rory!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
*VICTORY LAP*

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)
hu hu hu
I've still not gone to work. Vet said he'd call by noon, he's got 6 minutes
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)
How old's the 'pig?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)
well that's what I'm hoping to find out
he's not yacking up or anything, but he's skinny and quiet and doesn't have much of an appetite - he only managed half a dandilion leaf this morning. More news as it breaks
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)
That's what happens when they're old.
One of mine went like that, still eating, still drinking, but not as much as he used to, got skinny too. He was just old, it's just what happens.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)
he's not even a year old, yet :(

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)
He's probably dead
They're trying to find one the same colour.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)
you're mean
plus, I can see him from here - he's still there
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Doing his little 'living statue' routine?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
Hmmm...
Sorry if this is a vaguely insulting question, but you do feed him on proper Guinea pig food, right? As in, not rabbit food, or whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:03, Reply)
Guinea Pig Excel
plus carrots, hay and dandelion leaves.

The other one is a bloater, I thought perhaps he was eating all the food at first
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)
Good!
That's ok then. Some people don't realise about the vitamin C thing.
Then again, some people thing that it's a good idea to keep them in a cage with a rabbit. Some people are fuckin' stupid.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)
You should eat him

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)
I just realised I misread this as
'how's the pig' not how old. That makes the conversation make more sense now
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)
Yeah...

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)
what are the odds of finding 2 welsh guinea pig fanciers on the same board?

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)
I'm not Welsh.
And I don't really like Guinea pigs. I'm just stuck with this one 'til he dies and I can get something better in his cage.
But yeah, what're the odds?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)
Shut up Welshy#2
you are every bit as welsh as Cavey and I bet your pig has a name and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)
I'm still not welsh
but I love my pigs

edit: he has to go in for surgery :( poor little mite
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)
that's gotta cost
insurance?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

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