So HRMC are sending out an average of £400 to 6 million people before december.
But they're also charging more to people who underpaid.

Are you all looking forward to your letters?

I made my own sandwiches today, aren't I frugal.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:26, 180 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I doubt I shall be affected either way.

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Me neither
i declare this thread over
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Most likely, it'll mainly be if you've changed jobs/salaries and been in and out of work a lot in the last 6 years.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

haha. fuck all for me then.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)

I had my £300+ rebate last month
on account of how my accountant is terribly efficient and got my tax return sorted early.

Home made sandwiches are much better than shop bought ones. Well done you.

In other news, I may have been playing too much Angry Birds recently, but when I see those protesters on scaffolding, I just think the best way to get them down would be to take out the bottom layer of scaffold.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Angry birds is shit.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I quite enjoy it when stuck on the bus or working out a particularly stubborn turd
people did get a bit obsessed though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Lies on the internet!
It's a fantastic waste of time. I've started seeing patterns everywhere.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I'm fairly sure I won't get anything, which is a bit shit
But ah well.

I made my own pasta 'salad' a couple of days ago, combined cost of about £2.50, enough for 5 meals.

Edited for clarity (again)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:31, Reply)

As in you made pasta from flour and water?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

That's not pasta, that's glue.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Horses are glue in mobile form

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Tasty, tasty mobile form.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I've never eaten horse, was never hungry enough

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

+ and am not French

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Oops, fixed.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I was about to be impressed
now I just feel a gloaming sense of disappointment
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

It's one of the many things I'd like to try making
But the next one I'm going for is home made pizza, should be good!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

A dish made out of pasta?
Surely that will be rendered useless the next time you eat hot soup out of it?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Fixed again

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I'm trying to think of another hilarious misunderstanding to make you edit it a third time...
But nothing immediately springs to mind and I lack motivation.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

That's not hard if you've got a pasta maker,
I use egg yolks as well.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Had mine a few weeks ago.
I still need to send off a response regarding my redundancy payment though as it's highly likely I've paid too much tax on that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Woo DG!
Only ten more sleeps!
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Looking forward to it.
And we're in Edinburgh with Diane, Reg, Keith and Joyce on Sunday night.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Just for kicks or for anything special?

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I'm going to stalk him and wank in his hair
or something.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Ooo! luck DG.
You should totally meet up with us on New Year's day in Edinburgh if you're not too hungover.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I shall certainly consider it.
Although I suspect I'll be DAAAHHHN SAARRF what with my brother and my best mate both having ickle babies by then.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

It will be a mix of b3tans and *gasp* non internet people.
It's usually a grand day out though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

My hair's sticky enough, thanks.
I have heard there's a decent band on at Binkie's on Sunday so we'll probably end up in there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Binkies. Ah, Binkies.
How I love your cider-sticky floor and little cavey areas.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

The little cavey areas are brilliant.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Just for kicks.
We all went up in August, but we had the family in tow so didn't really get to do the normal stuff. Found a cheap Travelodge room, cheap tickets and thought we'd make a night of it.

The downside is we're going to miss a spectacular band on the Sunday and they don't often play round these parts.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Swings and roundabouts DG.

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Indeed. They'll be on again at some point.
Worth seeing though, good rockabilly band that does Motorhead and Black Sabbath covers, among others.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Slightly worrying
For "playing the system" reasons I get paid by more than one company in lieu of pay rises from my main employer. However, the bookkeeper who administers all this is extremely fastidious, so hopefully I should be ok.
I assume your sandwich comment is some sort of post-ironic statement on the recurring discussion of mundane functional things such as "lunch". I often eat sandwiches too.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)

It's people like you that are ruining this economy.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I try

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Bet you're part greek

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I ate some halloumi once
My pay is far too low to have any effect on the economy. My spending on records is keeping the music industry afloat and my wife is the most profligate person I know, her efforts alone ensure that the economy will never stagnate.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I don't think I'll receive any

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Don't worry! you'll soon be getting child allowance.

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Bet you will, coming over here, taking our tax rebates.
Second class citizen in me own country now
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

In other worrying news
This story is just bizarre. Shall we see how long it takes for people to start comparing this to Dale farm?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

That's just like Dale Farm!

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

See that's actually a sensible move
but the ministers know it won't pass the Daily Mail test. So they've decided it's not "tax relief" which=good. It's "bullying" which=bad. fucking spin cunt politics bollocks.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I can't see it being any use.
Old people are cunts.

Apart from my mum obviously.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

And you and me.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I can counter that by being a triple-cunt, though.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Like sugababes!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

how the fuck is it a sensible move?
It pays no attention to anything remotely sensible, like the only big houses that familes could afford are nowhere near where said families want to live. All the idiots have done is taken the basic statistics of an aging population and expressed them in a different way. Tools.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Your argument that they've massivly simplified the reality of the situations
pretty much contradicts your "the only big houses that familes could afford are nowhere near where said families want to live".
That may be true for the majority, but even a minority of 8million homes is still a decent number of houses and will make as big a difference as the headline grabbing "250,000 homes in five years" which every government seems to claim they'll do every few years.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

no it doesn't
since I only offered one reason it was stupid, and I'm not trying to put forward a step change in housing policy, so I'm not obliged to back up the shite statistics that are being put forward to do so.

However, if you want some back up, I will gladly bet you my next pay cheque that the single greatest driving factor in preventing familes getting the space they want is the cost-location balance and that "old people not wanting to sell their big house" is about 12th on the scale, after whether the bedroom carpet matches their current bedding. Would you care to take on that bet?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Don't you think your massive and angry reaction kind of proves the point I was making.
That this is a report that should be thought about sensibly but it never will because people will scream about their mothers being thrown into the street.

And it doesn't matter where it is on the list they should be looking at the whole list.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I am really very angry today, aren't I?
perhaps I'm manstruating. However, that report should not be thought about sensibly, because it's horseshit. It's drawn a loose and tangential conclusion from some statistics that aren't relevant and then they are attempting to present that as a coherent housing policy.

An equivalent mis-use of statistics would be to suggest that, statistically, we should have anti-shark measures in all UK canals because a shark attack happens once every billion litres of water on the earth's surface per year, on average. Yes, some people want bigger houses. Yes, some people have spare rooms and yes, some people are old. You can't, however, just randomly connect the three and go "Well, fuck me, I can solve this RIGHT NOW".
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)

you can't tell people what to do with their own homes
my dad is 68 and lives by himself in a 5 bed house. fine, sometimes he rattles. but he regularly has me, both brothers, wives, and all kids round. at which point the house bursts at the seams. my older brother and kids live in essex. so if they couldn't stay over, they'd hardly see him. when my younger brother sprogs up, it'll be even more full.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)

that's true as well, but a more minor point to the one I'm trying to make
which is the idea that encouraging older people to "downsize" is going to make the tiniest shit of difference anyway.

They'd have been much better employed spending the money they undoubtedlty invested in that horseshit report on building a couple of big houses and then giving them away, thus at least doing something that would have some effect.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:55, Reply)

It's sensible in a communist share-the-wealth sense
But if you've worked hard all your life to afford yourself a nice house, why should you be asked to leave it just because you have a couple of spare rooms? Will it also extend to childless couples, on account of how families could use their spare rooms too?

I may be slightly biased, living with a pensioner.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Because the old and frail would be much better off warmer and safer in a modern bungalow
than in a victorian three storey terrace.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I've had relatives in sheltered accommodation
who've appreciated the help of teh wardens, and the company of other residents, so I do see your point there. But not all pensioners are frail. Look at that bloke who did the marathon the other day.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

That's why I used "and" in that sentance.
And I don't see how giving a tax incentive to do it is anything like bullying people out of their home, it's just saying if you want to do it it's cheaper for you.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Fair enough on teh 'frail'
but 'old' is subjective. And yes, having seen a lot of Flog It / Cash in the Attic, I know a lot of older people are trying to 'downsize'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

There was some discussion between BGB, Amberl and 'Swipe about "downsizing" on here yesterday.
I'm sure you would have had some opinions to contribute to that particular discussion. But enough. I said I wasn't going to get drawn into that subject again today.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Congratulations
I suspect that reply has broken every single safety stop at the top of the "patronisation and epic generalisation" scale.

Even for you, that's a win.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)

dunno
some people would consider it a "lose", in all fairness.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I dunno about Dale Farm
but it's a bit fucked up. "here, grandad, you don't need that spare room, gizzit, eh?"

I also like the "the government should consider a proper tax that reflects the cost of the land usage of a property" .. what, like, Oooh, I dunno, shall we call it "rates" .. that ended well, IIRC.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

This was discussed on the radio this morning.
One elderly lady stated indignantly "they're not spare rooms, like, ah hev me grandbairns ower every weekend and me computa lives in the otha wern".

I like to think that they edited out the "the fuckin' bastads" bit at the end.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:57, Reply)

They were discussing this on The Today program this morning
The guests were trying to make the point tht there are 25 million unused bedrooms in britain. Many older people would like to move to somewhere more manageable, but are afraid of the effort/cost etc and it should therefore be made easier for them.

this was twisted into "OLD PEOPLE THROWN OUT ONTO THE STREETS"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I live alone in a 4 bedroom house.
*struts*
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

My parents live in a five bedroom house by themselves
and still manage to fill it completely. I think I may know where I get my hoarding gene....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

However little or much space you have it gets filled.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)

No one man could fill Jordan's 'space'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Jordan TGB
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Fnarr

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)

*pinches bedroom*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

It's the cellar for you, laddie.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)

And when I say cellar, I mean sex dungeon.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)

YEEEEEEEEEEEEY :)

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

However did Crow escape from there?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:14, Reply)

He used his flexible wrists to reach under the door for the key

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Awwwww :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

To be honest the house isn't that big.
I just have two converted loft bedrooms.

And if I didn't have all those rooms, where would I put all the B3tans that visit once a year.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Fat camp

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

*buys ladder, rope, night vision goggles, duct tape and anonymous-looking van*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Ha like you could afford a ladder

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Did I miss the bit in the report
where it explains how offering someone a tax break to do something is bullying them into it? If this is the case the government has been bullying people into getting married and having kids for years.

I have no opinion one way or the other if this is a good thing, but I can't see where the outrage comes from at all.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Even if I do get a rebate (extremely unlikely) it will probably go on domestic stuff, whereas I would like to spend it on a bigger external monitor and beer.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Who are HRMC?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Her Royal Majesty's Cunts.

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

She has more than one, like that bint off of N-Dubz?
*confused face*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:08, Reply)

They're called Edward and Andrew.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

confused face *erection I could hammer Jesus to the cross with*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Human resources magnificent cunts?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

cranial urination

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Human Resources Massive Cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

They're the ones who send you threatening letters about paying tax.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I don't think you've quite got the hang of this acronym game b3th

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Hibernian Retard Maceration Club?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Hot Racist Monty Club

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:11, Reply)

membership = 1

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Horny Males Raping Chimps

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Ham Revival Mustard Club

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Hutchings = Right Mental Cunt

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Heavily Retarded Mong Club

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I just made my chicken sandwich for the day, OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN, it's got roasted onion and chili jelly and mayo and raw onion and lettus and roasted garlic.
You know that song Greatest Day by Take That? I was singing to myself "This could be, the greatest sandwich, of your life.....". There is a one legged girl on the telly doing belly dancing, she was shit, you could barely see her belly moving, and what you could see moving was like a lava lamp.

I've decided after like a billion years to leave O2 and go onto Vodaphone, the trouble is, the contract is in my Ma's name, even though I have all the passwords and all that, My billing cycle is on the 22nd, so I'll wait 'till after then, then it will probably be cheaper still. Then I'll pay £100 for the phone, so my total expenses are £260, of which my iPhone 4 will get me about £280. And it'll only be a 12 month contract, which means this time next year I get a new phone too, maybe the iPhone 5 or whatever. Plus my contract will be halfed in terms of what I pay. OH BOY. I think I'll do that this weekend.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:18, Reply)

vodafone 3g coverage is epically shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)

That's the good thing about living in london.
We don't have to worry about coverage and all that shit that backward peasent villages have to deal with.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I live in london....

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Haha, I can apprechate a good being made to look silly like that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Apparently outside London Vodafone is the best for coverage
Inside London however it remains epically shit and only used by povvos and scum.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)

but.....but.....but..... they're the only ones doing 12 month contracts =(((((

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Sucks to be you Gonz
There's a reason they are cheapest. also have a look at their data allowance. O2's 'Unlimited' = 2Gb a month most other people's are half that or even down to 500Mb(Orange I think) and it's worth knowing.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I got 500mb, I'm alright with that, can always get some kind of booster pack thing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Yes, TBH. I rarely get through more than that these days
but I think I used my whole 2Gb once when I was still wowed by being able to watch the telly on my phone. Just remember what I said though, povvos and scum, povvos and scum.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It's alright Gonz I've got Vodaphone and it does just fine in London

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Good man, I'll take up your recomendation in that case.
Wanna gaz me any kind of "Sign up a friend" code thinggy if they have one?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It's a group business contract so no can do :(
I can't think of any place in that London where receptions been iffy with it
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:41, Reply)

my local pub, 100% 3g on O2, no reception at all on Vodafone

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Ahh, fair 'nuff.
Well looking forward to it though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Hmmm my billing cycle is on the 22nd too.
I have nothing else to say about this.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)

We don't need to hear about your "wimmins problems"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Poppet, I hear you're single again, you coming to the UK any time soon?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I wish I was lovely.
But that requires more money than I have at my disposal. Why do you ask?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)

There is no reply to this that wouldn't turn a joke into something creepy, I thought it was implied what I meant by the 'single again' bit =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:28, Reply)

ahhh.
yeah nah I'm pretty tired so I'm missing the obvious things!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:34, Reply)

It's alright, I like a girl when she's vulnrable.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Easier to take advantage?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Thank you for pointing that it, I think it would have been missed otherwise.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Glad to be of help :(
I am often slow and miss the point of things. This doesn't necessarily make me a bad person.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Although it might make it easier for you to take advantage of me...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Woh' now, less of the self deprivation please, you're alright in my books.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Pst! Gonz!
you do know Tangles is a beardy folk singer and not actually a girl, don't you?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Doesn't matter Q - that is my second ONLINE VALIDATION today
and from a hero like Gonz too!
This more than makes up for a friend of a friend calling me an asshole on fb this morning.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Arsehole.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Fair comment

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I wish I could get a letter saying "Here have some money!"

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Not as much as I do.
EDIT I do of course mean I wish I got a letter saying I was getting money - although if you got one and I didn't I wouldn't hate you for it. Much.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:28, Reply)

i got about £1,600 back earlier in the year, woo
so i can't believe i'll get any more back than that. however if they try to charge me for an underpayment, they'll have to get in the Q behind everyone else who thinks i owe them money.

i am off to a tres fancy michelin-starred restaurant for lunch with a newly-retired client today, hoorah. menu looks fucking awesome.

how's y'all??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Well now I'm jealous cos you're going to a fancy-ass restaurant.
And I'm sitting here in my ratty old dressing gown.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)

i would be jealous of anyone else who was going to this particular restaurant
but i have to go with 4 other lawyers if that helps at all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)

It doesn't.
because you're all lawyers so you'll all be rah-rah-rah-ing at each other.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:27, Reply)

they are all a lot older than i am!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Hide the knives

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:28, Reply)

and maybe the spoons, cos ya know...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:28, Reply)

long spoons, you mean

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Is this a reference to a story about having to cooperate to eat?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

ha, no
it's a proverb. "he who sups with the devil must use a long spoon". and we're all lawyers, so.

or a cock gag. whichever you prefer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Could be worse. You could be WestApe sat in front of his machine touching himself.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)

why just westape
this probably applies to all the guys on here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)

*raises hand*
Anyway, she must be lying - everyone knows that any girls on the internet are either naked or, at the most, wearing lingerie.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:30, Reply)

not on free sites like this one
that being said, i AM wearing lingerie, i don't come to work commando (very often). it's just that it's hidden under very thick opaque winter tights and a business suit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Haha
I was going to add: or are HOT LAWYERS with BIG BOOBS!!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

i am hot today
these tights are bloody opaque and the air-con in here isn't as fierce as it usually is.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I bet your office smells like Grimsby harbour in August.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)

eeeeow
firstly, the air-con is usually arctic in here, so it's freezing in august. secondly, NO.

that is just WRONG.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Maybe if my wife goes out later, but not at this moment.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

'I don't want anybody else, when i think about you 'battered' I touch myself, oooh oooh ohhh'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:30, Reply)

You fucker.
that's my earworm for the week sorted.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Myn pleasure ;)

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Oh man, I wish I had clients who wanted to get into my knickers too =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:30, Reply)

ohhhh don't say that!
i love this client, but he's like the grandfather you always wanted!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I heard someone describe America as "That creepy uncle who used to make you sit on his lap a lot as a kid, but paid your way through college to make up for it".
I quite like that.

Are you allowed a Plus One?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Surely a B3tan would need a plus 2

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)

i'm dreadfully sorry, but no
you'd love it though, even the online menu is making both sets of lips dribble.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I believe "scallops with clopper foam and samfoire" is their speciality

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I'm always missing out on the good stuff.
Sad Times.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Rich, dead and with no other living relatives?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Can sort out his own probate?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

b st
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Oh, fuck you, man. FUCK YOU.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:41, Reply)

You're getting slow old man!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

+er

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:49, Reply)

IT'S TROOO :(

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)

b st
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Internet :(
www.b3ta.com/questions/wearedetective/post1396432
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

It's things like that that make me wonder whether your worldview may not be the best one to take after all.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Last year my letter said I underpaid buy £400 5 years ago
It turned out my last job owed me about 400 so when I recieved a cheque from them I presumed it was pay owed. It turned out to be them returning tax paid as I was moving jobs halfway through the year. I guess the cunts still owe me 400 quid. I am paying extra tax now to cover the debt to HMRC
( Peej, Wed 19 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)