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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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GOOOD MORNING B3TA
New phone should come today, OH BOY, oh boy, it's a friday too.

Let's have some one liners from songs that you like, here are a few.
- They say I'm up and coming like I'm fucking in an elivator.
- You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a fucking challange.
- I bought the hearbreak hotel, on my own, no investors. I closed it down and opened up the "Fuck you, get over it" bed a breakfast.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:24, 197 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
On the tube I saw an advert for The London Women's Clinic 'Free Fertility Seminars'
and thought 'They ought to call that the Inseminar'. Then I read the rest of the poster. Turns out that is exactly what they have called it.

I'm not really one for quoting lyrics since I stopped scrawling them all over my folders at Uni, but this stuck with me from Darren Hayman's '1976' that I had on this morning, just because I find it sweet and smart:

"I'm looking for turquoise Formica, I'm lookig for Twiggy or someone just like her, I'm looking for 1976"
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:36, Reply)
You were scrawling lyrics on your folders at fucking University?
Jesus Christ, man. Did you wear nappies at secondary school and breastfeed at primary?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Yes, all of those things.
You mean that's not normal?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:51, Reply)
£100 of NatWest's money
says that all these lyrics come from shit-named gaylords and 'dirty beats' purveyors Scrotal Sac and Scooby-Doo Pip or whatever they're called.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:36, Reply)
Monty, don't let your mouth make cheques that your ass can't cash.
The top one is by Ed Sheeran.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)
They are fucking awful.

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:42, Reply)
Morning Beeko.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)
Morning good sir.

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)
when life hands you lemons
demand a gin and tonic to put them in.

morning gonz.
(berk, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:37, Reply)
Can't remember who I stole this from but
When life hands you melons you know you're dyslexic.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:42, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)
Good morning Berk,
I put on a StumbleUpon button on one of our website's pages yesterday because we noticed it gets a little bit of traffic from there (the web page is a photo shoot of some hot surfer girl in her bikini doing surfing things), I refreshed the page to see we had 491,000 'stumbles' for it, which is quite good. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to make a similar page only in your science uniform? You could do some DNA Profiling and maybe possibly hold up a pete-tree dish filled with e.coli ?

In other words "Good morning, how are you?".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:45, Reply)
that is, by far, the most surreal spelling of petri I have ever seen.
Good work.

iPhone 4S I assume? Let me know if the voice rec works? I've no interest in getting one, but not one single piece of voice rec in the history of mankind has ever worked well enough to be worth it, so I'm interested.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Nah, he's getting some WinMo7 thing on fucking voda.
And yes, I did warn him.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Oh, for the love of fuck.
Oh well. I gave up on WinMo years ago where I discovered that it's 178% easier to get an iPhone to sync with an Exchange server than it is to get a WinMo phone to do it. Think about that.

I'm sure Android is as easy but I can't be bothered finding out.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)
I stuck to WinMo up to 6.2
I gave it up when I saw what an abortion 6.5 and 7 were going to be and moved to android, which is annoyingly iphone like in some ways (designed for morons with no provision for people who want to do demanding stuff like decide for them selves which fucking apps should be running) but is otherwise fine.

I'm currently wondering if Gonz will see the error of his ways one he gets the thing, or if He'll go for full fledged denial.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Morning Gonz
"And there was love, love, love - all over her face". Noah and the Whale. Makes me laugh every time.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)
One of my favourite couplets of any song ever is
Ahhh, I hate your fuckin guts, and I hope that you die
Sticky Fingers, the name, and my life is a lie
Cause I'm havin a bad day, so stay out of my way
And what the pistol packin people say you better obey
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)
Lines from songs?
Or your diary entry on any given day of the week?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:43, Reply)
My name isn't Sticky Fingers you Deacon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)
How am I supposed to know what your codename for yourself is?

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Because it says it under all my posts?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)
To be fair, there are quite a few people using your name at the moment.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)
I'm amazed that anyone would still be finding that amusing to be honest.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)
There's no accounting for what amuses folk on here.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)
e.g. the fact that Personalilty Horse continues to start threads about biscuits.
Despite the fact that nobody replies.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
I really had no knowledge or opinion of that baldmonky bloke before he started that
or of his band. I have, however, how decided he must be a total bell end.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)
The only one who knows this ounce of words is just a token, is he who has a tongue to tell that must remain unspoken
Not really a song, but were the words spoken at the beginning of the record I was listening to at breakfast.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:50, Reply)
It would be too obvious and easy for me to fill this thread with Dylan lines
But he is eminently quotable.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)
His best lyric is
'neeeaaaah neaaaahahh neehhhhhahhhhh' delivered in a teeth-itchingly irritating and entirely affected nasal whine.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Affected it may be
But I rather like it. In fact I would even go so far as to say that I think he is a very good singer.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:02, Reply)
I would so far as to say you must be fucking deaf, son.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)
A little, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)
I suppose it saves you sticking one finger in your ear while singing.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)
^ this is good

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)
*shakes fist at CQ*
Funnily enough, that Shoreditch gig that NEITHER OF YOU TURNED UP TO was completely inaudible to me. I have since had my ears syringed and am back up to 75% hearing.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)
You may have been the lucky one,there.
I do apologise for that, parental commitments trumped my intention to go see some bloke off of the internet play music. Anther time I shall make it, maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Quite possibly.
There may not be another for a while though, as my own parental commitments are about to ruin everything (#2 due in a matter of weeks). Lucky escape for you there.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Spot the old bloke
'because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
pull up yor head off the floor, come up screaming'
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Wotcha Cap.
Any more mental guitarists for me?

I am currently obsessed to a worrying degree with Mick Green from The Pirates. I fucking LOVE what he did with a Tele.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Monty m'boy! How the very devil are you?
In fact I do have one relatively mental guitarist for your listening pleasure - John Gomm. Google him and prepare to cut your fingers off with a rusty hacksaw blade!
Also, check out Newton Faulkner doing Stevie Wonder's 'Superstition' on Youtube.

Have fun!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Dull pointless fact of the day:
I regularly get email updates from Jon Gomm and I have absolutely no idea how I ended up on his mailing list. Because of this apparently unsolicited spam I have stubbornly refused to listen to him.
Oh and I think Faulkner is a cunt too, not that you will care. Did you watch him at Godiva Festival?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Shame about the Gomm thing -
People should realise that spam pisses people off mightily! I'd be interested to see the statistics between those that actually buy/solicit goods/attend gigs etc due to spam vs those that will never use that service/product etc BECAUSE of spam.
Didn't see Faulkner at Godiva -I like his voice and he can actually play - horses for courses I expect.
If you like to see really technically good playing (but it's flatpicking and it's in Nashville) try Steve Kaufmann's world championship piece. Good playing but I wouldn't have it on in the car!!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Morning!
Get a grip on yourself, you know you should
I got a grip on myself and it feels good
Get a grip on yourself, take my advice
I got a grip on myself, and it feels nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)
I once had my mates around and I feel asleep on the couch, when I woke up, I said I dreamed up some wicked lyrics to a new song...
.... "I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger, but I don't see with no broke nigger".

Turns out, they had been playing the song while I was asleep, but I was convinced I made it up.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)
I used to do that all the time in my song-writing days
Come up with a great line, only to realise that someone else had written it. I was never a great lyricist and this made me sad.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)
"And after everything you put me though I should have fucking pissed on you"
Though supposedly extremely hateful lyrics I can't help but laugh every time I hear them
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)
I'd have thought your favourite would have been Eddie Cochra's immortal
'Gammon Everybody'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Haha
That's not really funny, but it made me laugh.
The Pun Fairy will appear in a minute.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Mistletoe and Swine
(Don't worry, that's all I've got)
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)
'Pump Up the Ham'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)
'Everybody's Porkin' at me'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Scraping the barrel with that one

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
'Whole lot o'bacon goin' on'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Uptown Top (Ham)Shankin'
/not very good at this
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Wet wet wet with love is all a rind me
BACON HAS RIND ON IT ALRIGHT THIS IS LEGITIMATE
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)
*does wobbly hand 'not sure about this one' gesture*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)
It's got wet in it three times
half or your puns don't even have any moisture.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)
'Brine Girl in the Ring'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)
You've got him with that one

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)
I'd say wet three times
would be more "sodden" than "moist" ... but, yeah. You have got a point there.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
'Wet three times
on the ceiling if you wa-ant me?'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Theme to 'From Rasher With Love'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I Ham What I Ham

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)
BMTH are shite

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Someone been typing things into google?

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I was hoping for the nexus prime but the prices seem excessive.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Oh and I should let you all lol at my housemates 13 year old boy seduction techniques
I came home from work to find him and his new interest sitting on my sofa playing Pokemon. I left them too it and went to my room, I went out again to make dinner and saw them sat on the sofa watching Firefly.
He then cooked her a vegan meal which looked rank and she didn't eat, then she got a taxi home. He didn't even buy any booze.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Hahahahahahahhaahah
That is a pitiful tale.

She probably left because he was trying to seduce a 13 year old boy in front of her.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)
I know exactly what'll happen if I mock him for it
he'll go "whut, pokemon's cool" and then I might just have to punch him in the face
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)
You should point out to him
that since he's just been epically out-cooled by an internet paperclip salesman he might as well just fucking kill himself.

love you really.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Even internet paperclip salesmen know to at least get some fucking wine in.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Is it up on sale/contracts yet?
It does look like an awesome phone though.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)
No not yet, just on the sim free prices it's more expensive than the new iPhone
So I doubt the contracts will be cheaper
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)
AHhh, coolio.
I can't get into Android, I don't like the design on a lot of it, it seems to be designed by developres who know the theory, rather than designers.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)
This man is dangerous
he just shot his load on your best party frock
before you enter the palace of wisdom, you have to decide
are you ready to rock?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Uncle Psychosis!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
what with the where?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I was having a whale of a time 'til your uncle, your uncle phychosis arrived
Why do we have to half kill ourselves just to prove we're alive
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Of course. As you were. For some reason I always hear that line without the "uncle" in
hmmm. Freud would suggest I was abused by an Uncle as a child. Or failing that, something about my mother, I imagine.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Uncle Peter is your biological mother.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)
but...... mum ?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:32, Reply)
The Ed Sheeran one I recognise
Who are the others by?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Morning mate

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Morning fella
How's that thing working out so far?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Assuming 'that thing'
is 'acting like a raving chutney on the internet' I'd say it's been a huge success.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)
You seem in better spirits this morning

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Nothing yet, not spoken to her

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Good policy I reckon

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)
psst.
'Scrotal Sac and Scooby Doo Pip'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Ah, the twin fountains of usefulness operating in perfect unison
Thank you both. Now, allow me to drop some EPIC lyricism on you before Monty does.

FUCK THAT SHIT
FUCK THAT SHIT
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Hello Darth
where have you been recently?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Aww, did you miss me?
Been under a lot of pressure at work and been trying to sort out finance-related stress. Nice of you to ask.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Did you sort it out?
I read that as fiance related stress, and wondered if she'd finally realised you were a gayer.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I implied you were gay there.

Actually it was less implied, more stated.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I missed you too
Excellent nick by the way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)
nick who?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)
NickNAME

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)
oh man, you're just too cool for school with your happening slang.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)
You'd never believe I was older than you
Especially not to look at us
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Nope, not with your wild "YOOF" haircut
and your friends who look like extras from Gatecrasher.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Ugh
Those photos are all a good 11 or 12 years old. My hair is verging on respectability these days
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)
The ones that got posted just the other day?
They didn't look that old.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Oh, they might be from InFest
In which case your accusations are well-founded.

Now stop fucking FB stalking me you creepy FB stalker
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)
Dan le Scrotum, I assume.
Gonz's first love. Well, after hollyoaks, chinese food and holding hands.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)
"Yes you are fucked! Shit out of luck! Now I'm complete and my cock you must suck!"
Beelzeboss by Tenacious D. Awesome song :D
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And makin' love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody's home
All by myself
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore
Hard to be sure
Some times I feel so insecure
And love so distant and obscure
Remains the cure
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Fuckfuckfuckfuck
someone's released the whiny horse-faced canuck tripe merchant Dion. KILL IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Eric Carmen not Celine Dion.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Phew. Thank god.
You can't be going quoting lyrics that might give people flashbacks like that.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I like Dion.
I played 'The Wanderer' at my birthday.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Not that one.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)
AH NOAH!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Do you have any of his later albums?
I've not heard any, but apparently his late '60s output was supposed to be "lost classic" type o'thing.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)
I shall look into this.
I really do like the fellow. Robert Plant shares my keenness apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)
'Why don't presidents fight the wars? Why do they always send the poor?'
Every time I think of this dismally poor and ill-thought out piece of student wankery I belm so hard that over the course of the past few years my lower lip permanently hangs slack like those African fellows who've had their wooden plate lips taken out.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Because Putin would win.
no song required.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)
'NEXT'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Blast off! It's party time, and we all live in a fashist nation. Blast off! It's party time, and where the fuck are you!?

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Are you suggesting
that our country is inherently opposed to John Fashanu?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:32, Reply)
His brother was a bumder

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Only openly gay footballer to date
His suicide probably deterred the others
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)
Ironically it was his penchant for shunting 'de turd' that untimately undid him.


This would be marginally more amusing
a) said aloud and
b) were I Irish
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)
And
c) were it remotely amusing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)
For some reason I hear Harry Belafonte in my head singing this.

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)
'GAAAAY-OH'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Shame really

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)
I really am going to need you to show your working here

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)
It's a shame that the only openly gay footballer ended up killing himself
Football is a bastion of homophobia and general unpleasantness, and if more footballers admitted they were shirters then I would think that it might start to have a knock on effect on football fans.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Or we could just shoot all footballers and football fans.
problem solved.

I'd miss Darth, but that's about it.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Oh you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Morning sweety.
Be honoured, this should, if I stick to my guns, be my last post before lunchtime. I've been power-skiving the last 2 days meaning I have 3 days work to get done today so I shall close my browser in the hope of getting on with it.

Hope your day goes well and you recover from your addiction to the retarded game tribal game.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)
*is honoured*
Best of luck with all the work mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)
He'll be back before the working day is done.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)
I can't find any fault with this
I thought you meant that it was a shame more footballers weren't bumming.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)
I'm sure the number of bumming footballers is in line with the national average
or even slightly higher, given all the time they spend in the showers together.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Stereotype suggest that potentially talented young footballers with a proclivity for bumdering would be lost to the world of musical theatre
I must admit I wish I'd realised when I was 5 that I was more likely to make it as a dancer than a footballer and stopped trying to lpay for Nottingham Forest, although I could probably get in the team now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Rule of life: football is fucking shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLuaqNoxjro
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Maybe
I think there's supposed to be a C in there somewhere but I couldn't be arsed to check how to spell it before posting as I'm posting from my phone and it would have taken too much effort
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)
But you are happy to go to the effort of typing the above paragraph
to defend yourself?

What a peculiar subaquatic porcine product you are.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Easier than having to close B3ta to go on to google and search how to spell it then open B3ta again. By which time I would have probably forgotten how it was spelt

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I AGREE WITH THIS

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Da ba da dan dee dee dee da

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:32, Reply)
I'll name that tune in one Jeremy.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Nee na na na - be my baby

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)
That's the intro to 'Saturday Night', right?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Thanks for that earworm.
*trepans self to relieve the stress*
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)
She laid out some serious dirty beats in that tune

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank 16 beers
And I started up a fight

But now I am jaded
You're out of luck
I'm rolling down the stairs
Too drunk to fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)
*POGOS*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)
The lyrics to 'So What' by ANL are superior, IMHO.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I am not familiar with this.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Enjoy
www.lyricstime.com/anti-nowhere-league-so-what-lyrics.html
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)
^^ What he said

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)
I like this greatly and have amended my sig accordingly.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)
They are supporting Motorhead along with UK Subs in about 3 weeks.
I can't afford a ticket.


*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)
have you looked on eBay or Gumtree or CL to see if you can find a cheap one?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I have not.
*does this now*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Do you want a free ticket to see "The Answer" next friday?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)
That's very sweet of you
but try as I might I just don't like them. I approve of their efforts but they just don't 'do it' for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)
If it makes you feel any better
I had a ticket but I couldn't go, so I burnt it.


Nah, only kidding, I can't go so I didn't buy a ticket.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)
£37.50 plus all the extra fees, this year.
Greedy Lemmy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)
Awesome.
Have you heard Nouvelle Vague's lounge version of it? Rather good.

I've had Maggie You Cunt by the Exploited in my head for the last few days.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Here it is.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiEbuQNcbr0
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I think I will stick to the original...

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)
"I went out on a date a bit late with a girl, she had so many friends. I took my pogo stick just to show her a trick, she had so many friends."
Taking a pogo stick on a date is probably a bit of an error of judgement to be honest
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)
BOUNCE!

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)
POGO!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)
POGO!

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)
POGO!

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)
JUMP!

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)
i think that'll be a step up for my housemate.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)
As I mentioned last night to the drunk shift
I had an ECG yesterday which showed I have a resting heart rate of around 46 bpm, as I haven't keeled over I'm pretty sure this makes me superhuman.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Fancy a line?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)
this was suggested last night, for now I'll stcick to coffee

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)
Wait til lunchtime eh?
Good thinking.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)
That's very impressive
almost as good as "Big Mig" Miguel Indurain.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)
yeah, but I don't really consider myself to be very fit
I think i just have a lazy heart
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Anyone with that surname whose nickname isn't 'Crying' is doing something wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)
Wasn't his something completely fucked up like 28?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I think so.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Funnily enough I had a checkup yesterday as well
Nothing as dramatic as an ECG, one of those machines that measures weight, BMI, body fat content etc.

The results were sobering.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)
you probably shouldn't have turned up pissed, in retrospect.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Sitting down on the steps at the
old post office
The flag was flying at half-mast
And I was thinkin' 'bout how
everyone is dying
And maybe it's time to live
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I love that song.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Its one of the best songs on one of the best albums ever
especially when you know why he wrote it.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)
"all of your friends are cunts" Mclusky - Gareth Brown Says

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)
HAHA
Wales are losing to Australia.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Yeah, but ... Australia.
That's like opening a suprise present to find a huge dog turd.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Yeah I know.
But My dislike of Australia's sports teams is merely fun rivalry, my dislike of Wales and everything about it is far more primitive and deep seated.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I can relate to that.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)
firefly in the sky it makes me feel like I can fly, so high, elevation
oooh oh ooooh oh etc
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)
I'M FROM A PLACE CALLED BIRMINGHAM

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Kipper tie?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Bono = dictionary definition of CUNT for more than 40 years.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)
oh god i feel rough
self-medicating with vodka etc until 5am on a thu night seemed like such a good idea at the time.

"i have no pain dear mother now
but o i am so dry
just take me to a brewery
and leave me there to die"

at least it is indeed friday! hope y'all have great weekends??
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

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