i have a date tonight
And i have a sneaking suspicion he's a b3tan...he keeps asking what i had for dinner.
When in fact, he's a chubby chaser!

When have you encountered strange kinks?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:36, 228 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Wooooooooooooooooo!
*high fives*

I wish I could find someone kinky : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Beatrice Huftyhouse (aged 18) from Bransgore says she'd like to get kinky with you.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I don't do girls anymore.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Alvin Television (aged 28) from Bristol is sexually attracted to toasters or some shit. I dunno.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

shocking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Are you gonna let him finger you if he gets you some chips?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:39, Reply)

They don't have chips in America.
Oh! hang on, yes they do.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

The fucking teevee show for a start

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

i dont even kiss on the first date

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Too busy stuffing your face with chips?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

i have a knack for being completely humiliated
On first dates without actually doing anything myself that would be considered humiliating
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I usually get that before the first date.
It's often something I've done though.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Hand holding and Hollyoaks eh

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

A girl let my mate shag him because he bought her chips at Reading Festival.
Great days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

ONLY IN A HOSEPIPE

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

my dad likes Polly

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Polly who?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:51, Reply)

His sister.
They're all at it chez Monkeysex. The poor girl barely gets a minute's sleep.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

HALF SISTER!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

LONG LOST HALF SISTER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

BAKED BEANS

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

COLESLAW

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

that too?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

i thought we were naming KFC side orders
:(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

CORN ON THE COB

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

ONION RINGS

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

YOU LOSE
they don't do that, that i'm aware of
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

they do

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Well they did back in 2006, which was the last time I visited a KFC

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

if you'd said another side order insted of correctin me you would have won just then

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I am not as good at internetting as you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

who is? i set the standard very high
and checking kfc.co.uk it appears i was right
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Yeah well you need to go to that website that shows you things as they were years ago
and look at kfc.co.uk in 2006. I bet they had onion rings then.
Hold on, I might be thinking of Burger King.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

I'm leaving forever, this is awful

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I know. i feel ashamed

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

WHAT!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Give up.
It's so obvious it's painful.

Once again we have
1) autistic 8 billion posts
2) tries to be rude
3) backpedals and tries to become liked - fails utterly
4) ??????
5) BERTDOWN!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

needs more black tie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

+ kilt and jug ears

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

How could anyone resist
Having your sisters fanny batter all over your nob might disuade some people I presume
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

like he'd be capable of inducing her to produce batter
"no squealing piggy, i'm going in dry" more like
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

It wouldn't touch the sides

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

said bertdown
is a looooooong time in coming though.

normally it berts itself into a bertdown within a few days. this one has gone on too too long!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

i don't know waht this is all about and its a bit upsettin

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Perhaps he has received treatment and is on medication?
Maybe he's just here to chase away old demons.
I dunno, what am I, his doctor or something?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I don't fucking care.
He amuses me greatly.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I think he's mentally ill.
And a cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

don't forget
he runs a VERY successful business and has a REAL LIFE girlfriend.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

i wouldn't say the business was that successful

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

probably because you're on here all day

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

i don't have much dealing with the running of the company, i just reap some of the profgits

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

well maybe if you did you could reap more of the "profgits"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

naaaaaaaaah, i like sitting back and letting other's do teh hard work

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

i bet you're a legend in bed
legend + insert word of choice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

if you fancied me any more the thames would break its banks

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

You could be
'the best she ever had', right, Robert?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

i don't have a clit like a "floppy aubergine" though
best thing about that was that bert actually believed her. like there's a woman on the planet who hasn't said that and not meant a word of it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

i think not, theres been a lot of competition there paul

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

sitting back and letting other's do teh hard work pretending to be fictional characters on the internet because it's the only way I can live with the guilt and horror of my paedo-incest past, not to mentional my terminally-unlikeable real personality which I cannot QUITE keep hidden, even through a veil of deliberate misspelling.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

he should marry rogerboresme
and have done with it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Aw, she pops up and says hi you guys now and then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

quite spectacularly mad

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

But, to be fair, pretty harmless by comparison.
_{Unless you're a cat...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

he's no more a cunt than anyone else here.
Apart from if he's bert and he fucked his half sister
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

or edmund and he's all bitter about having an empty seat next to him at the opera?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

And he totally mashed up someone's hand

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

the sheer madness of that is mindblowing
i mean, i can just about understand lying about being a doctor to impress people, although it's fucking weird, i get the motivation. after all, someone on here did that to me, and even suggested that my friend whose mother was dying of cancer should give him a call to discuss treatments. yeah... he was a mobile phone salesman... anyway.

but to actually start carrying out surgery? at what point did the FFS THIS IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED siren fail to go off?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Indeed.
That's why if I ever find out anyone is him, I won't just go "ha, the wag..." I'll actually kick off cos I reckon he is a threat IN REAL LIFE.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Is DCI Roota taking back her badge again?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Long, long ago

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

its a song by the kinks

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

aw man I thought they only had Victoria. I am ashamed of my shit Kinks knowledge

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

COME DAAAANCING

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

My dad makes me pretend to be my sister in bed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

"Go on, arrest me!"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Better than being his sister.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

What's more sick?
Making your son pretended to be your daughter when fucking him.
OR
Making your son pretend to be your aunty on your own side when fucking him.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I need someone who is attracted to massively hungover people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

ly hungover people spastics
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Aw petal!
Meeeee!
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I am a bit needy and feeling sorry for myself
1hr to go till hometimee
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Have you actually got any work done today?

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I'm dorru to say he has not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

What the hell does dorru mean

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

You tell me you sneaky ninja shitbag.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

yes*


*no
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

One more edit and it's English, Nakers
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

\o/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Lol

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

this is like the preliminary
to this week's QOTW.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

What are you going to wear K?

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

BBQ sauce

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Expensive or Tesco's own brand?

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:00, Reply)

WalMart Supersaver value pack 10ltrs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

*something about Ray Davies*
It's been a long day, alright?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Oh shit
Have I just attempted the same joke as Quenbert?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

hahahahaha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

I got the following email today:
How are you doing? I am Tanya! I want a man. I usually travel and cinematography. Write me mail in [email protected] So long, Tanya...
Never heard of her before but she sure looks purty in her picture, shall I reply with my bank details?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I cinematography too!

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I no, rite?
Me too, it's a match made in heaven.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I just can't see you with a Tanya.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

You've not seen her, hang on I'll post the pic that came in the email
she well hot
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Ok

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Here you go:

I mean how could you not fall in love with that face?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

That looks like it's been shopped over someone elses body.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Or she just has a mahoosive head.
and a tiny body.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

She obviously needs a bigger flat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

bigger flat smaller face
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

3d innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Disturbingly so
It's just alarming that the rest of her isn't...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

fuck off she looks liek Jocelyn Wildenstein!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Nah man she's obviously some sweet young thing who's heard of my reputation for Awesome Facial hair
and could not help but send me her pic and email address.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

She's not the first and she won't be the last CQ.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I'll send her a discounted membership of my fan club.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

CQ Fan Club Membership No: 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000002

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Haha! he did get my request then. Lol

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Well, My mum is getting lonely being the only member.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Did you get my membership request.
I fucking posted it a month ago and I've heard nothing.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Membership card is in the post ,love
...and by membership card I mean a 6x4 of his cock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

*buys frame*

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

It's not turned up yet, did you send it to the right address?
Comrade Quixote
CQ Towers
New Cross
Sahrf Lahndin
New Cross
SE14 1CQ
New Cross
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

No I sent it here.
Cygnet Lodge home for the bent. Lewisham
44 Lewisham Park , Lewisham , London , SE13 6QZ
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Ahh, I see the problem.
That's Stunned's address. I'll ask him tonight if he got it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

That's the one!
I couldn't remember her name. Cat woman menkle
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Yup

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Aww Man, you wimmin is soooo bitchy
Poor Tanya.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

We just want the best for you is all : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

But Tanya is well hot
and she Cinematography, how may girls do you know that cinematography?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

But she has the forehead of DOOOOOOM.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

DOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOM!
I know, you'd think 'she'd' have picked a a better picture to go with whatever scam she's trying. I'm tempted to reply and see what she says, what's the worst that could happen?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:37, Reply)

THey know you're an idiot and you get deluged with tons of spam
and you have to change your e-mail address.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

This is a good point
I thought it might be funny, but more spam I do not need.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

You die of aids?

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Off home now.
Have a good night!
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Laters

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:41, Reply)

From an email?
Fiendish.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I no rite.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Just so you know, by seeing that picture, they now know your email address is real and you click on pictures so they can target you.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Tell her you live in New Cross!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

The Polish girl I shagged in Krakow kept asking me to finger her up the arse.
It was a disgusting thing to demand. I still did it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Disgusting
When all you wanted to do was rim her?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Oh I did that too obviously.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

language barrier
bet she really wanted a glass of water
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

My best mate's fiancé
has a thing for the female torso. I have been known to sit on their sofa and idly stretch in such a way that my tshirt rides up a bit, just to see him flush and mumble awkwardly.
(berk, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Filthy Minx.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Oh hell yes
done with my best mate's blessing, though, as she thinks it's hilarious as well.
(berk, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Best way to be
it's great fun.
(berk, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Oh, I agree

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

It was said with no little admiration.
/pander
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

A women's torso is only second to their left elbow, OH BOY, i love left sided elbows, the way they connect the arm up, without them, a modern lady about town would struggle.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

The right one is a real turn off though
Keep 'em covered girls!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Those two dimples at the bottom of a girls back
Very odd
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Some blokes have them and all you muppet

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

..and I'd be staring at a bloke's lower back because?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

You made out it was a female-only thing

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

The previous bit was about girls
I just pondered about the back dimples, is all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

It's where you come out of your box, like a Cindy or Paul
I wish i had some.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

I don't get it, it's not like guys can go around walking shirtless in the middle of winter, so I don't see why a lady wouldn't cover her right elbow.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Oh man, my flat is AWESOME.
Today I got
- 2x sets of dimmer switches and a remote control for them. I think I might get a remote control wallsocket too, it's all part of the seamans things with no centralised gizmo so I can add it on cheaply later on if I want.
- A lovely light for my livingroom, it's 3 shattered-glass balls on silver arms in a swirly pattern.
- A lovely light for my bedroom, it's black with hanging black crystals that makes paterns on the wall and looks kindda gothy.
- A lovely light for the hallway that I can't remember what it looks like right now.
- A lovely lightshade for the office
- Two sets of lovely plates/saucers/mugs/bowels
- Two sets of lovely knifes/forks/spoons
- Loads and loads of wallpaper samples, I'M GOING TO HAVE A FEATURE WALL, always wanted one.
- A few other bits, I can't remember at the moment.

OH BOY, my flat is going to be AWESOME
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

POIDH

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

0o0o0o0o0o0oh, and carpets, I ordered the carpets, they're coming on wensday.
I got loads and loads and loads of photos, I'll put them on the internet later on.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

yes!
houses are my idea of porn
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Haha, will do =)
The only thing that worries me, right, is that there is a stupid fucking thinggy between the front door and the outside hallway where the flat is, I have no idea where it is but it's really narrow and EVERYTHING has to go through it, and I'm not sure how they're gonna fit the furniture in at all. I'm sure it's do-able 'cus everyone else lives there must have couches and beds.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

the sellers must have had stuff there
worst case scenario, some sellers will build stuff in the flat for you - eg sofa factory did my friend alison's in her flat for her, as she has a spiral staircase and nothing else was going to work!

not sure how she'll ever get it out, mind.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Take it apart again?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

they might be able to do that
but i don't think you could do it without knackering it. it's not a flatpack thing, the manufacturer actually made it in her living room over the course of a few days.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Then she shouldn't buy such poncy furniture then.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

THEN THEN THEN

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

she is poncy and the flat is super-swish
but actually the first sofa she bought was from DFS. had to go back because of spiral staircase. second one from john lewis. same thing.

she had been living on one of those giant mahoosive beanbags for about 6 months before i said "use the sofa factory ffs".

although the mahoosive beanbag is pretty fucking cool. want want want.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:41, Reply)

DiT has one of those Fat Boy ones
it's very comfy when you're watching the boxing.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Coolio !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:30, Reply)

+because i'm the size of one

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I discovered the following about our Gallic cousins this weekend;
They have no concept whatsoever of waiting their turn
They eat with their mouths open
Their underground train system absolutely fucking stinks
They have no problem whatsoever with openly staring at you if they so choose
They really do not get the basic tenets of vegetarianism - almost everything we saw advertised on a restaurant menu with a "V" next to it included fish

Apparently they're also hairy and shit at war. Didn't have chance to test these ideas out. Sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I have no idea what country you're reffering too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Gall

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Gaul

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Bladders live there

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

THAT'S THE....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

small organ that aids mainly in fat digestion and concentrates bile produced by the liver

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Exactly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

The Paris Metro is mental

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Really is
The beggars are pretty gosh-darned upfront about their requests too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

But you just got down on your knees and got the job done regardless?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I'm afraid I'm going to have to hit you with a "bitch please" for this
*snaps it out*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

someone got knocked back by pierre then

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Unlucky

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I am disappointed at the lack of response to this....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I did a little lol
but you couldn't hear that.
I didn't click it, mind...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

A little lol was all I was after

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

You went to the home of extravagent ways of upsetting animals by torturing them so they make nicer food
and you were surprised by the lack of vegetarian options? How about you just don't waste their time with your pathetic nitpicking about food and be grateful for what's put in front of you. There are fucking children starving in the Sudan right now.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I wasn't remotely surprised by the lack of vegetarian options
more by their wilful misinterpretation of the use of a "V" to signify that a dish is vegetarian.

Also: the Sudan is your fault you massive fat bastard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I feel no guilt over this.
They had the same opportunity to eat the food as I did, it's not my fault that them and their families are TOO FUCKING LAZY to help themselves.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

This creates the mental image of Sudan being divided down the middle by an enormous buffet table
Which would actually solve a lot of problems as long as we could keep you away from it. Someone get Bono on the phone.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

I was imagining more Swipe walking around a refugee camp eating a bucket of fried chicken
grease running down her chin and every time a little kid put their hand out and cried she'd smack them in the face with a half eaten thigh and say "I WORKED REALLY HARD FOR THIS! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Is daddy making that trip tax deductable?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Daddy's paying
but she has to sleep in the same tent as her brother and use the same latrine.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:48, Reply)

you fucking bastard
you know i'm vegetarian
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Pros: funnier than the buffet table idea
Cons: does nothing to tackle third world hunger

I say we get Bono and Gervais to fight to the death for the rights to each idea. Everyone's a winner.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Can anyone get on this
27bslash6.com/bobbity.html
I think he might be trolling with the link.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Someone sent me that the other day and I couldn't open it
The tag at the top reads Go Away as well
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I think you're supposed to just see the man do a bobblehead.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I opened it. It was shit.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I just been recommended someone with the surname Pocock as a facebook friend.
POO COCK LOL
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I get this!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

It's posts like this that make me so good at the internet.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:41, Reply)

explain it to me then cos i thoughht pocock was prononced 'poh-cock-

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:41, Reply)

You should change your name to "I AM THE REAL BERT AND IT WAS SUPERFLY WHAT NOTICED ME MAKE REFERENCE TO BACON XL DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS LIKE WHAT WE USED TO TALK ABOUT BEFORE I WENT MENTAL"

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

just a sec

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

oh wait wrong bit

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:45, Reply)

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:48, Reply)

its very blue

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

urgh
all those shouty capitals make my eyes hurt
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:52, Reply)

waht would you like me to change it to? can it have my real names in it plz?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:53, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Can you change it to "QUENTIN! QUENTIN! QUEN-TIN! OH, JESUS CHRIST!" please?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Have you started referring to Lampers as Quentin?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:03, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:12, Reply)

'00 Robert Jug-ear O'Helmand McNoncy-sis III'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:04, Reply)

i'd rather not if its all the same
thx tho
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:06, Reply)