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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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YOU! Yes, you! Over there, sitting at your computerI think you are a cunt. You look like one and you certainly smell like one.
GENERAL RANTY THREAD - COME ON, HAVE A MOAN HERE
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:42,
182 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I do like a good bit of pelt, that's for sure(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
Are you an uncle who's an uncle, or one of 'mummy's special friends'?(
thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
Barry from Eastenders described me as such(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
I've met him; emphasis very much on the 'special'.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
Those windows sure taste good(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
He told me not to sayBecause no one would believe me and mummy wouldn't love me anymore.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
Don't forget the fact that Uncle sportscow will bum you to death(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
Brace yourself, I'm going in dry(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
I dunno - you looked pretty sad when you tried to burn yourself to death with Kaol's lighter...
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thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
I was.It didn't seem to hurt at all at the time, but for the next week it was agony.
One of a number of reasons I am glad I finally quit drinking...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
I need to know more about this story please(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
There's not much of a story really.I was drunk (surprise, surprise) and Kaol had a lighter that was like a mini blow torch. I borrowed it and drunkenly forgot that the flame blasted out of the side rather than the top so burnt a blister the size of a 50p coin onto the palm of my hand.
After the shock had worn off I think i put some ice on it and just carried on with the night without thinking about it.
And then I woke up the next day...christ it hurt.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
Even violent, psychopathic Kaol looked concerned. (
thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
I love your new sig.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
Gonz won't, but his opinion is terrible and disallowed. (
thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
I'm enjoying his food blog(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:48,
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It's fantastic isn't it?Although i didn't actually realise it was a food blog specifically, I thought that was just coincidence because they are all words he can't spell.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:51,
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Yes, I have been asked to assist with this blog and can confirm it won't all be food. (
thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
Excellentbecause I'm looking forward to an entry where he explains why he can't spell his middle name.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
I saw that earlier. This should be our next task.(
thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
What does this have to do with the Twist?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
Are you calling b3th fat?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
No, I was simply getting a word incorrect for "comedy" lols(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
Hi ClendersI'm persuading DiT to run the Bristol Half Marathon with me and CHCB again this year. If we do will you come and support us again or will you swan off to slitty eye country again?
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)
I only plan to go to Slitty Eye Country once this year, sadly.Tell me the date.
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thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
You sir, are a fucking beer mouseA mini-aler, if you will
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
One sniff of a shandy and he spends the whole of the following day crying(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
He's like a Victorian lady(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
Needless to say, I had the last laugh(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
Up yours, fuckface.I'll do what i fucking like.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
I am very much enjoying the 366 photos of 2012 that you and scarpe are both doing(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
Yeah, I am too.It's turning out to be a really fun project. But don't forget Noel as well - he's doing it too.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:56,
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It's not too late.As I said to Noel, there's no reason why it had to start on Jan 1. That's why his is 355 photos.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:02,
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All mine would have to be iPhone photos though(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
As long as you mean 'taken by' and not 'photos of' I don't see why that is a problem.Mine are only on a mid price digital camera, nothing special.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
We're just better than you because we've done it from the start.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:04,
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Well, yes, there is that.Although i'll save my gloating for December 31st just in case I don't make it to the end.
Edit: That sounds like I am planning to die or something, which isn't quite what I meant.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
Stay away from that lighter!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
I'd say 'where were you three years ago when I needed that advice?'but I'm fairly sure both Clenders and Kaol gave me that advice anyway and I just ignored it.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:09,
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Yes, Kaol did shout: NoooooooooooooooooooooBut you had already ploughed ahead.
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thealternativefact, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
This is good to hearNow, about those onions...
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
Gaaaan fook yerselThe question is:
Do I have one last brew?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:00,
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I am unsure as to the Pope's Cleveland Steamer habits(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
What? But you don't even know me!I don't know what to say...
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 15:59,
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He really is a horrid, horrid man.From the North, you see...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
Nah, it's not nice to try and beat up people who are senile and old.(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:09, Reply)
It's the main reason my husband is still going.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
hahahaha!I was just about to post and ask how he was getting on
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:11,
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I found teh cooking oil in the crockery cupboard the other day.One of us is definitely going senile. The thing is, he never uses the cooking oil, so it might well have been me.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
My missus puts things away in the fucking stupidest placesThis reminds me that I need to request a new Tesco clubcard as she "misplaced" mine after "misplacing" hers a few weeks ago. This story also goes for Nectar cards, cash, her glasses, bank statements, etc.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
Oh this ^Mrs Dupinblue often asks if she can borrow my cash card as she has lost her own. Why would I trust her with mine if she couldn't look after her own?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
HmmmWe appear to be married to the same person
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
Funny, she does work away a lot...(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
Do you think you could take Monty in a fight? I think you could, you're quite built up and enjoy doing that manual labour stuff.I think though, if monty was off his face on stuff he's put up his face, then he might get a few hits in, or go to use a weapon.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
Better than mineHe does love that Art Attack
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
I reckon that would be the danger, he'd be too drugged up to feel painand I wouldn't want to really hurt him in case I got into trouble. Also, his brother might come at me with a samuri sword and I would hate for my family to be left with an unsolved reason for my disappearance since the police wouldn't investigate it.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:20, Reply)
But say he was coming after me for having an affair with Lusty, do you think you could stop him from hurting me?I'm not sure what zones OAP travelcards go to these days, so I think I'm safe at home, but at work, he might come after me.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
Gonz if he came at you he'd better have a travelcard that lets him go all the way to Painvilleor else he'll get a twenty pound fine to add to his troubles.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:27, Reply)
Lusty is issuing me with a twenty pound fine?That seems a little unfair.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
She has in fact done it.Which leaves Monty as the last person to decide what he wants.
Oh Monty.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:35, Reply)
She's supposed to tell you mine,Oh Al.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:37,
Reply)
Dont you "oh al" meit's not my fault you can't keep your woman in check.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Are you suggesting I administer some JUSTICE to my dear missus?Are you fucking mad? She'd have my arms off.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
All that aside, what did you choose?I reckon you went with Pulled Pork Quesadilla and Baby Back Ribs.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Chicken, rib & pork combo.don't wan't nutt'n else.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:46,
Reply)
Okay. If it's a money thing I'll happily sub your starter, I think it's probably a fixed price anyway.(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Hold up here, you might be able to work me a BBQ covered blowjob out of this, or at least a snog.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:58,
Reply)
I reckon I'll just order him some chicken wings and we'll split them between us, yeah?(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:59, Reply)
does this mean you'll both get to top and tail his girlfriend?its only fair
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Sounds good,Have I shown you that trick that I incest on telling everyone when I have chickenwings in company of other people? Where I get pull out one of the bones so I can have all the meat in one go?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:06,
Reply)
HOLY SHIT, talk about a coincidence.Lifehacker has just come up with an ever better methord.
lifehacker.com/5880851/eat-a-chicken-wing-with-one-hand
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:10,
Reply)
I'm soooo getting chicken wings for dinner tonight(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:10,
Reply)
I'm getting dangerously close Clenders, dangerously close.The only thing stopping me is that he's currently blaming Lusty for the delay, which I can only assume is the rambling of a senile old bellend.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Yeah, go on then. I could just do that myself of course.They finally got back to me and said I had booked for 12 people. So I wrote back quickly and said, No, 15 actually. If I don't get a response later tonight Imma gonna be ON THAT PHONE first thing tomorrow. Bitches ain't gonna fuck me around on this issue. I will also request the "cool" seat.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)
"he's currently blaming Lusty for the delay, which I can only assume is the rambling of a senile old bellend"
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:17, Reply)
She said she'd be looking online at ye menu.It's tricky today as I don't have my phone on me.
Sozzo.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
Since there is no way this is down to your good lady, I'm putting the blame firmly on you Monty.(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:22, Reply)
SPORTSCOW IS A GENTLEMAN OF DISREPUTEAND HIS AROMA IS UNPLEASANT. HE TOUCHED ME IN A WAY THAT MADE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND I DON'T LIKE HIS TASTE IN WALLPAPER!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
Am I doing this right?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
WELL FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING MACKEM FUCKING CUNT, YOU!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
Ha!I have no wallpaper, only painted walls
I did touch you inappropriately though, I concede this point
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
I'm not too keen on his taste in screensavers, either.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
That's because of the coal dust(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
Genuine lolsI sound like a fucking coal miner today. I appear to have smoked about 509 cigars last night
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
has your German "friend" gone home with his coffee table?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:08,
Reply)
That's a smashing blouse.Is it from C&A?
It really disguises your hump and brings out the colour in your glass eye.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:08,
Reply)
Christ, is everyone dead?Liven this fucking place up a bit, eh? I need some distraction from writing exam papers.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:09,
Reply)
It's a real life nickname.I suspect it's partially related to a tattoo on my right shoulder but I think the origins are mostly lost in the mists of time. I have "badger" on my hockey shirts rather than my actual name though.
And no, because he's a cartoon character and therefore not real.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:15,
Reply)
If you say so.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:16,
Reply)
because I choose to have a name other than my actual name?But one that happens to be a name I'm casually known by?
Oh, the fucking humanity. You're right, I really am terribly sad.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:19,
Reply)
what on earth has age got to do with it?Honestly, this is really poor trolling, even by your standards.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:22,
Reply)
what sort of a grown man calls himself after a cuddly animal?your like Goose from Top Gun, only even shitter
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:23, Reply)
I didn't call myself it.That would be the point of a nickname, they're generally chosen by other people.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:25,
Reply)
you said you choose to go by ityou fucking animals of farthing wood cretin
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:27, Reply)
No, I said I chose to have it on my hockey shirtnot at all that I choose to go by it. Reason being, if people are going to call me it, might as well not confuse them.
Do pay attention, if you're going to troll, it's really rather crucial you get the details right.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:29,
Reply)
i'm not trolling badgerprick, i think you've got a shit nicknameand that nicknames are for teenagers, badgerprick
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Yes, having friends and a nickname is "fucking shit"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:17,
Reply)
nicknames are shithaving a nickname on a hockey shirt is for cunts, and i bet its not even ice hockey, the big fairy poof
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Do you want me to give you a nickname so you don't feel left out?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:19,
Reply)
you'd better make sure it's one that is REALLY easy to spell, though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:20,
Reply)
ooh burnthis is much worse than being a fully grown up man who goes around calling himself 'badger', and wears clothes with 'Badger' written on them like a fucking failed Wind in the Willows fanboy
(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:21, Reply)
Oh, my, the righteous anger is strong in this one today.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:23,
Reply)
just as long as it makes you happy.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:25,
Reply)
splendid.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:27,
Reply)
keep impotently flailing.I'm sure you'll find someone round here who can be arsed to give you the rise you so desperately crave.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:30,
Reply)
will do badgerprick, you tell your mates down at the rec that i love your nickname(, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:31, Reply)
It because you are riddled with TB, sorry to be the bearer etc....(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:16,
Reply)
I fucking sound like I am right now.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:20,
Reply)
I meant more the coughing.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:31,
Reply)
I meant that they all died of the consumption*shrugs*
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:32,
Reply)
It's alright gaylords.I'm here now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 17:26,
Reply)
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