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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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(, Mon 21 May 2012, 19:45, 240 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
then move on to the gin.
In associated news, I might go and make dinner now. No idea what to make, I'll just see what's out there. I'm thinking... omelette.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 19:51, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:25, Reply)
I pulled the alarm in one of the disabled bogs thinking it was the light whilst cleaning just then, then the siren wouldn't stop going off. So I ran away/went home.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 19:54, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:17, Reply)
You just can't help yourself. It's fucking eerily similar to how some of the kids at school behave. Grow up marathon bottler.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:30, Reply)
you do.
Tea is good. I drink many cups per day, more so since I had my last ciggy on Saturday.
Do carry on.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:26, Reply)
you want to be covered by a gushing geiser of jism
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:29, Reply)
tea, Rory?
Surely not. It would be like the milk was off and gone all lumpy.
Gadsake, min.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:32, Reply)
I wonder how many cats she'll fit into her house before she contracts toxoplasmosis and is found dead by 'worried' colleagues after two weeks non attendance
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:35, Reply)
how many cats she's got. If she's happier with pussies than men, so be it. If not, she's got to stop staying inside "finger painting" and get out more.
She's lovely, though, and no criticism is intended.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:40, Reply)
no, man. I've not finished the Whole Earth Catalogue yet.
Once that's out of the way, then it's peace signs shoot out.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:45, Reply)
and love, honey.
I know the death of a dog is difficult for the yin side but the yang side says there's much more room on Earth for another canine soul.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:55, Reply)
besides, cats are awesome.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:46, Reply)
But when he spunked in her mouth, all my dayz, it completely filled her mouth and gushed out, I've never seen anything like it in my life, it was like someone put her mouth over one of those machines that they use to inject cream into doughnuts, only the button got stuck.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:43, Reply)
www.youporn.com/watch/7653218/midget-takes-a-cock-half-her-size-gentlemens-video/?from=search_full&pos=1
19min 20s.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:45, Reply)
don't.
I was thinking of a smoothie.
EDIT: too late, but there is no way I'm looking at that.
Did you have that bookmarked?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:46, Reply)
I remember where it was on the internet because it made me lol that it was under the search term 'hairy' rather than 'midget'.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:50, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:54, Reply)
agree.
My dissertation in tube sites search terms, stretching to ten thousand words was waste. I wish I'd resorted to premature searches technology.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:59, Reply)
Are you a new person or an old person who's renamed their account?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:05, Reply)
just lurked for ages, loved the humour and people (most of them.)
Tried posting before and got the usual "fuck off Bert" sock puppet accusations. Again and again and again.
So, just post in the evening now. Much nicer.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:14, Reply)
Nah, just kidding. We love you really.
Who don't you love?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:17, Reply)
mostly caaants from /talk who just give it, ahem, laldy, with no real need.
I can learn to ignore pretty quickly.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:21, Reply)
it's something he's still not managed to learn.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:24, Reply)
In other news, sadly, we won't be able to attend your meat extravaganza as we have another engagement the day after and travelling 300 odd miles to arrive by 12 noon might be a bit difficult.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:28, Reply)
I shall miss your dapper dress sense and your wife's squishy booby hugs.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:31, Reply)
I'm hoping it's nice weather and we can sit outside round the BBQ like last year.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:37, Reply)
Although we could drive, but it's a right fucking trek.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:40, Reply)
Hello Phudders. You don't mind if I call you Phudders, do you?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:26, Reply)
stop trying to push him tofu and lentils and all that shit.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:28, Reply)
I may be chief Lefty, but he's twice the Hippy I am.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:35, Reply)
worse, what exactly do you mean?
I don't give a fuck anyway but fire away, squire.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:34, Reply)
this is a statement of opinion, rather than an insult.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:36, Reply)
a hippy, just tolerant, I hope.
And probably more left than most on here. I'm not going to apologise for that.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:39, Reply)
that's the kind of thing a hippy would say.
TBH The Daily Mail is to the left of most on here, at least during the daytime. I think there's me, AL and Tangles struggling alone to stem the tide.
welcome.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:43, Reply)
brothers and sisters must fight together.
At least until closing time.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:47, Reply)
*mutters about the death of socialism etc...*
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:48, Reply)
Because we've already got one of those, despite the strenuous denials.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:28, Reply)
we could breed from them.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:33, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:33, Reply)
I was just being polite.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:35, Reply)
Tell us about yourself, what's your hopes and dreams?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:23, Reply)
I'd decorate it with fresh flowers and put a sign on the door saying "NO SCOUSE"
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:27, Reply)
It's a bit creepy to tell you the truth.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:28, Reply)
on account of how I sell lots of them on eBay. Mostly the old ones from the 1980s. I can probably identify more of them than I'd care to admit, as well.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:31, Reply)
I would like a pony that I could ride, and then shoot and then eat.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:32, Reply)
I downloaded them a for a mate's little nice'n'nephew.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:33, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:46, Reply)
... but it's ok 'cus I have some chicken balls with rice to go with it. But next time, I know exactly what I'm gonna get.
I went to take out a tenner and it said insufficent funds, oops.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:41, Reply)
Were the other boys and girls nice? Did they steal your dinner money and flush your head down the loo? i hope not.
Noodles are generally nice. I was introduced to chicken pad thai a while ago, and it was bloody lovely. I know that's not Japanese, but it falls into the sphere of 'south east asian'.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:44, Reply)
It was great thanks, they were well impressed with what I managed to do today, the designer couldn't tell which one was hers (a photoshop file) or mine (a website), which is the perfect result. Tomorow I have to work using a system I've never used (Umbraco) in a language I don't know (ASP.NET). I think I'll be able to work it out, hopefully. They get me onto PHP at the end of the week and that _is_ what I know =)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:48, Reply)
I always ask for two extra trays of crushed peanuts.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:50, Reply)
There is the worst show in the world on E4+1 at the moment, called "Love Shaft", it's a dating gameshow based in a lift.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 20:56, Reply)
I think they were in a bar/club, and they had a room built that looked like a lift. Then when they get off at each 'floor', they wheeled a backdrop in to make it look like a lobby... a bit like on Star Trek. Then on the final floor, the penthouse, they didn't do the backdrop so you could see the whole thing. This is all a sham. I don't think many 30 story buildings would dedictae the entire building to the filming off a gameshow.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:04, Reply)
but if you pressed "1" it would go straight up her Love Shaft and you win the bonus prize, which is probably a goldfish.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:17, Reply)
At first I thought it was male, but I guess not.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:21, Reply)
a condom while watching, mate. "You know it makes sense." Or is it "clunk click every trip." Or "sneezes spread diseases."
Too much health information. Cunts
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:26, Reply)
I thought being shafted means to take it up the bumhole, or to be conned.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:32, Reply)
I wanna do the same thing with the Bourne films.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:22, Reply)
but all the others get quite silly, but the pinnacle of silliness is Rocky 4.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:23, Reply)
Security in the Asda DVD aisle has really clamped down lately.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:29, Reply)
In fact, I sent a text with your sig on it, not 10 minutes ago.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:30, Reply)
the most hilarious thing ever printed in the pages of Viz, beating even Mickey's Monkey Spunk Moped or the Rotating Chin Men. Or that Jack Black strip where Aunt Meg's whorehouse was losing custom due to the local video store starting to stock grot films.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:33, Reply)
I met Chris Donald a few weeks ago. Nice chap.
The missus says "hi" and sends hugs and stuff.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:38, Reply)
Get yourself out on the hunt!
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:40, Reply)
complicated birth led to a nerve being severed or something meaning his jaw muscles are stuck shut.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:31, Reply)
Thanks a fucking bunch.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:33, Reply)
If my memory serves me correctly he was 14lbs or something and had to be manhandled out of the vagina. Hence the damage to his face.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:34, Reply)
How did they manage to get you out?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:36, Reply)
Frankly I'm amazed your mother knew a midwife who had experience of birthing pure fucking evil.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:41, Reply)
and yet completely fail to get how it works.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:44, Reply)
IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES FEELINGS!!!
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:46, Reply)
I'd pimp my own granny out for a bottle of Diamond White, and she's been dead for fifteen years.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:02, Reply)
He's a smart cookie too, wrote and directed the Rocky's and Rambo's and I think he has a doctorate from somewhere in engineering but that might be wrong. Bloke is pretty cool.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:37, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:37, Reply)
youtu.be/rH_HEXzPB4k
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:19, Reply)
I haven't listened to them in god knows how long, but I've seen them live nuff times. Crap Kraft Dinner is one of my favourite songs.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:43, Reply)
It'll more than the flat is worth to stop Stunned coming over and breaking stuff.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:39, Reply)
I would give him the keys straight back and enjoy having that over him for the rest of my life.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:40, Reply)
So, wagwan wi you, mi bredren?
I actually said that to my mum this afternoon on the phone. I had to repeat it about five times and then translate it into normal English.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:37, Reply)
That's 'AM', not 'HAVE'.
Apparently I don't have an abcess at all, just an infection. No root canal work for me.
However, in anticipation of being drilled to fuck today, I rescheduled a job interview that I was supposed to be going to tonight. Nothing exciting, just a casting call for Frankie & Benny's. They're opening a new 'restaurant' in Weston.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:42, Reply)
Other than good luck with the interview.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:44, Reply)
It's nothing too taxing. Just being door staff. you know, 'Table for three, sir? Do you have a reservation? i can fit you in at nine.' sort of thing.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:53, Reply)
you can have an infection without having an abcess.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:47, Reply)
You probably had a slightly suppressed immune system and then maybe came into contact with someone who was carrying some kind of "bad" bacteria which made it's way into your mouth and possibly entered a small cut on your gum. The bacteria then multiplied and because of your compromised immune system got to the stage when the side effects of all the bacteria by products made you feel like shit.
Then, if you don't get that treated, the infection could develop further, your gum gets eaten away underneath the tooth and this hole is what is known as an "abcess".
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:54, Reply)
and no.
First part shite. Nithin to do with compromised immune systems for the vast majority of folks. Much more likely that a stray food particle finds it's way under the gum, or into a hole in the tooth and leads to infection.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:03, Reply)
You asked how you could get an infection without having an abcess. My explanation is a clear description of how that could happen. It wasn't a statement of how it always happens.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:07, Reply)
perfectly. Some of your answer was correct and could happen. Unlikely for the majority of the population, though.
I'm not having a go at ye, though.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:15, Reply)
I thought an abcess involved lots of root canal work. He said there was nothing he needed to do to the actual teeth, so the antibiotics would be enough.
Turns out I was justified in my woe-is-me-ness.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:49, Reply)
and I recall it was pretty hideously painful. So you're not being too soft.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:50, Reply)
I tell you what, I've eaten chuff all in the last four days. weigh-in should be good this week.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:51, Reply)
where the infection is.
If it's deep in the the root of the tooth, then it's root canal. If it's in a hole in the top part, the crown, then it's usually simple drilling.They are both "abscesses" or gatherings of puss.
Please yersel', like.
"Replaces dentures."
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:54, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:43, Reply)
I am very judgemental when it comes to music.
And Suede were bent beyond words.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:46, Reply)
Well done. You've never been more wrong.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:48, Reply)
and then when you said yes, I unfriended you straight away.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:51, Reply)
It has the line 'electric shock bog brush hair' for christ sake.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:47, Reply)
you missed out a vital, I say vital, inch and a half.
But I won't , ahem, hold it against you.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:49, Reply)
But I have periods of not shaving for a few days and it helps tidy up the face up a bit.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:58, Reply)
Otherwise it looks like I've pritt sticked pubes to my face. I don't want a beard anyway it makes my face look rounder.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:51, Reply)
Not a bender - listening to tittyshakers.
Not bad, Jeff. You?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:49, Reply)
Would you like the chance to call me a proper bender?
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:50, Reply)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p-yF3IXMTs
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:53, Reply)
I can only assume you've shown us it before. Not that I can be arsed to go and check. Much as I love you.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:54, Reply)
That still involves clicking a link! I'm lazy and uninterested, Jeff. I thought you knew that about me by now.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:58, Reply)
Surely you, more than most understand THAT!
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:00, Reply)
but I'm totally incapable of linking my relentless insulting of that jonny vegas look-a-like and any sort of understanding of why people think i'm some sort of bastard.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:03, Reply)
I was going to call you out.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:05, Reply)
It'll be this on my 'next gigs' list - You'll like this lot.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkFvm399N_E&ob=av2n
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:02, Reply)
then it's Donnington, then Kelly Clarkson.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:04, Reply)
I assume you'll be wearing a sparkly spandex leotard.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:55, Reply)
We have a Noob who claims to love Tofu more than you do.
I'll hold your coat.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:49, Reply)
Only room for one peace-loving pacifist round here...
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 21:53, Reply)
on account of how he does football and stuffs.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:00, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:07, Reply)
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:08, Reply)
send the fuckers home. They're taking our jobs an' that.
Thousands o' kids as well. Fuckers.
Get back to the birch, that'll save us.
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:10, Reply)
This just came up on Shuffle and reminded me of this place for some reason:
Imani Coppola - Dirty Pictures
(, Mon 21 May 2012, 22:24, Reply)
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