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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning all
Good weekend?

What does this week hold in store for you?


Alt:
Rubbish inventions
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:53, 232 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Cracking weekend thanks.
This week, work.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:55, Reply)
We have our staff conference on Wednesday
It is as welcome as a burst condom
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Morning
Had better, my body appears to not want me to have fun, joy(!)

I'm off to see Spiderman tomorrow, and that's about it, really.

Alt: Bin bag
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Alt.
This HTC phone I'm using.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Should have got an iphone

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Don't say that, I was going to get one of them when my shiteberry contract is up.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Get an iPhone.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)
No, unlike you I'm not a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Why does having an iPhone make you a cunt?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Because I don't particularly like them or their business model and I'm massively overexaggerating my actual feelings on a subject because i'm on the internet

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:19, Reply)
You should at least thank him for the advice.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I don't consider it to fall under the remit of advice so I ain't saying nuffink.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Don't worry Al, you're doing fine at being a cunt without having an iPhone.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)
I had an HTC that was a bit shit
I've got another one now that is ok.
I'm thinking of starting a phone review blog, what do you reckon?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)
The new ones might be okay
But the HTC Wildfire is gash.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)
That was the one I had that was shit.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:11, Reply)
I wasn't going to get one of them
my friend had one and he said the screen wasn't very touch sensitive, which for a touch screen phone I would consider pretty essential.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)
You're just being fussy now.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Cheap phones have Resisitive screens that have a lag.
The wildfire was always made to be a cheap low end phone and android doesn't work well on anything low end.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:32, Reply)
This is why I was thinking more of an HTC Desire, or a Samsung Galaxy 3.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)
The Legend was, I quote "fucking shite"
- Mrs Cow
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)
The wife has the wildfire s
The touch screen is shit, it takes about 5 presses just to hang up a call. The camera seems to default to the internal memory and we can't find a way to get it to default to the SD card.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Their high end stuff is great, their low end stuff are low end.
When is your contract up? I have some good gossip on the iPhone 5, its gonna rock this year.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:19, Reply)
When is it due out?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)
It depends on how iOS6 come along, its working very well at the moment, but its still early beta.
I reckon september.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)
I am due an upgrade, I'm happy with my 3GS so will wait for the 5; no point in getting a 4 now.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)
I heard they were changing the connection from the standard apple one to a completely different one
so you'll have to upgrade all your chargers and other stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)
As new phones tend to come with a charger that'll be no problem.
My iPad has a different charger to my iPhone anyway (same shape different voltage) and I have a blackberry (work phone) that I have to charge as well, that also uses yet another type of charger.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Battered himself thinks he smells faintly of boiled cabbage

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)
So basically you're not agreeing with your own opinion.
You cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)
Your reply makes no sense.
Now.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
To be fair, they've kept it the same since the FIRST _ipod_
It's now too big for the phone and the new one, which is usb3, will have charging and data transfer rates of up to 20 times faster.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)
They'll be a massive leap from a 3GS to a 5
You can throw away so many devices once it comes out.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Isn't it great the Siri sounds just like Peter Dickinson
Every time I hear it I think of Monkey Dust and him using that voice during sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)
I have a love hate affair with Siri
About half the time it's amazing, and half the time it's frustrating.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Excellent weekend thanks.
Alt: cheese with fruit in it. Disgusting.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Cheese should not have fruit in it.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:59, Reply)
neither should fruit have cheese in it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Stop sticking Cambembert up your arse then

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)
It's 100% wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)
I'm biased as I'm not fond of fruit anyway.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)
INTERNET FATTIES IN 'NOT EATING FRUIT' SHOCKER!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:06, Reply)
It genuinely makes me ill.
The smell of pineapple makes me retch. The smell of strawberries gives me a headache. I can stomach fresh apple and orange juice though.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)
Hawaiian is the king of pizzas.
*runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)
*refriends just to unfriend again*

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:28, Reply)
What about onion?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Never tried it.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Onion, herbs, chilli, garlic are all acceptable.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)
I dont like garlic in cheese
Chilli is WIN though
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)
My favourite cheese is garlic and nettle
Is that allowed?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Nettle is excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Badger Ales do a nettle beer, which is quite tasty.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I had one from a local brewer and it was very good.
I've also had a coriander beer that was most palatable.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Coriander in beer is delicious.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Everything Badger does seems to be magnificent.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:42, Reply)
The only one I have disliked is Poacher's Choice.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Chillis are a fruit though
or a berry or something, who knows (or indeed cares)
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I like wensleydale with cranberries in it...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Yeah, that is nice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:11, Reply)
*unfriends*

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:11, Reply)
:-(

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I love this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Weirdo.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I don't see this as an invention, merely an accident.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Not bad, 2 out of 9 weddings this year complete
I was however ruined yesterday and had to go to bed at about half eight, I can't take he pace any more.

Alt: Tracksuits
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Surely tracksuits for fatties
Tracksuits can actually be useful for those competing in sport
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 8:59, Reply)
This isthe internet, specifics are banned
but yes, tracksuits outside of the sporting arena
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Good weekend thanks.
I did some archery for the first time in yonks. Now my left arm looks like a junkie's.

This week will be busy, with little time for skiving.

Alt: The working week.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Morning
I just spent ages writing out a long and pointless thread. Oh well...
The week holds some work, some skiving (incorporating wondering where everyone has gone when it inevitably goes quiet on here), all made slightly more tolerable by some drinking and listening to records.

Alt: The internet. I can't see that ever taking off properly.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Save it for 10 when this thread conks out

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Maybe, it was quite shit though

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)
As opposed to this one?
Fucks sake tangles, buck your ideas up!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Sorry sir. Won't happen again, sir.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Alt: supermarket self scan checkouts.
Morrisons ones especially, mainly due the irritating bint's voice yakking on at you.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)
I prefer going through the self service when it just a few items.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
They've left themselves wide open with these self-service checkouts

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Go on then
I'm bored so let's bite.

Why?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:32, Reply)
This is fake lolbarry.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:35, Reply)

lol
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Right so.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)
You may have missed...
Fake Baz's 'thing' (apart from pretending to be other people) is telling stories about being an alcoholic who steals his booze from supermarket and drinks it in car parks.
It's well LOL.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Fake Baz = Al.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Absolutely.
It's as clear as day.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Yeah, WHEN IT@S FOGGY!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:42, Reply)
I NO RITE!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Do you keep an up-to-date spreadsheet of this shit or have you really got nothing better to remember?

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)
I think I'm in love with you.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)
and I thought I was the only one

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)
ROLFCOPTER.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)
+ cat

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I don't mind the Sainsburys ones
as they seem to work fairly well and are therefore much quicker if you've only got a few iteams.

I do seem to remember the Morrisons ones being a bit fucked up though.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)
The Morrisons ones are really bad.
At least they've stopped telling you to put the item in the bag every time you scan something, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Alt - Crocs
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)
THIS^
Special needs shoes
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Do you mean the little bits of broken ceramic in the bottom of a flower pot?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)
hi al

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I didn't get to sleep until about 2am last night
and then I had a crap nights sleep. What's more annoying is that I ran 10 miles yesterday so I should have been out like a light.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)
When I first started running this would happen to me

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)
You need to wait for the blubber to stop vibrating

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)
pfft

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Speaking of rubbish inventions
My late father won a Sinclair C5 in a competition. He sold it unused but I can't help feeling that the disappointment of winning such a shit prize contributed to his suicide 15 years later.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:34, Reply)
I can see how it might.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:35, Reply)
That and having Phillijoe as a son

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)
*blubs*
You massive Internet bully
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I spent the weekend entertaining my parents
so average.

This week holds work which I'm desperately putting off right now, hockey, and a comedy gig on Friday.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:34, Reply)
i always thought your mum was a kind and generous lover
maybe she had a bit of cold.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)
That wasn't snot

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)
More that Edinburgh is not a good place for an electric wheelchair
but, yeah, that too, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Are your parents disabled/ancient
or are they lolfatties on mobility scooters, popping down Wilkinsons to buy some Budgie food?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
His mum has been quadrospazzed on a life glug.
After too much violent sex with various people from here.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Actually, she is quadrospazzed
What can I say? you lot are aggresive lovers.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:58, Reply)

aggressive morbidly obese
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
that too.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)
it rained lots. fuck you mother nature FUCK YOU.
if the bitch ain't careful imma gonna spill some oil on a beach.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Funnily enough I believe Scotchland will ahve the best of the weather this week

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)
it better or i'm going to spill some oil on YOUR beach.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)
McEuphamismlols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)
and by oil I mean my blood flecked cum.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
I think of it as a sexy Goldschlager

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
tastes better too.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
You'd be fucking wrong then
Unless you've got some kind of rainpocalypse south of the border. Cos it's going to rain all week up here.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)
That was last week
I am most upset to find the youtube video of the Geordie Dalek wheelie bins has been removed
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
given the recent flooding this comment may be deemed insensitive.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
BBC said it
as the depression will be sweeping in fro the South West Scotlsand will get the rain last and potentially have some restbite, take it up withthat irritating chirpy blond bint on BBC Breakfast
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)
COR! right up!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Shove the rain up your cockend and shit out some sun.
That usually works.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
will do, thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Bostin' weekend
Went to Dorset for my Bro's surprise birthday party, he had no idea we'd all be turning up. Excellent curry at the Rajpoot in Sherborne and then some* drinks, music and a bonfire back at his place.
This week holds frantically arranging appointments as I truly couldn't be arsed to do it last week and taking my G/F to hospital to get her knuckles injected - ooyah!

alt: The Quashqai - something that looks like a 4x4 but isn't. Why?

*Lots.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I'm sorry, most of these words make little sense. is it "street" patois?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Sorry mumpers
Bostin' = Extremely good
Bro's = Brother's

All of the other words should be considered normal by the average retard.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)
and a Quashqai?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)
For a car that looks like it was designed by an eight year old, it is remarkably popular.
The name sounds like someone in chelsea saying "cash cow"
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Well, some versions of it are 4x4
But it gives people the height and the illusion of extra safety of a 4x4 without the complexity, extra expense or fuel consumption.

See also: Base model Land Rover Freelander, Skoda Yeti, BMW X3, etc, etc, etc.

In case you haven't noticed, captain, people are generally fucktards.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
(sets about pouring petrol from a jerry can about the place)
(douses whole thread)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
turn that frwn upside down Q

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
<:D

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
You're wearing a dunce cap?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
oh so rude and mean on a monday!
it was a PARTY HAT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Did you have cake? Did you get a party bag!?
I was so sad when you stopped getting party bags.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)
i have never stopped getting party bags
at my nephew's party a few weeks back i got like 3 bits of cake and a whole spinach pizza to take home
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)
I hate spinach pizzas

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)
i don't mind 'em and the veggie girlfriend liked it
\o/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)
You want to ditch that shit right now and hook up with someone who likes a bit of meat.
I once had sex with a veggie, she was cracking, but I couldn't have settled down with her.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Just because she won't eat your "meat" doesn't make her vegetarian

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)
she gets the job done

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)
so, it's a thumbs up then?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
this is the worst thread ever, i think sporty should delete it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
swipey's not posted in it, can't be that bad.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I prefer it when she posts late in a thread
if she's near the top the centre of gravity's off and i worry the board will fall over :(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)
swipeyfatlolz

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Hahaha
cruel, but I lolled.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
KRONEY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)
YES

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)
KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRONEY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)
WHAT

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)
KRROOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:13, Reply)
DIE

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)
sup kronels?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
nuffin

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
cool thing, kronely

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Start a new one then

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)
shut your filtey hoor mouth

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Weekend was shit as I'm brassic this month.
However, I've been given a project at work that I'm actually quite excited about, for the first time ever. Already had some ideas my boss hasn't thought about. I'm interested in the subject matter, I'm going to be involved with every step of the process and will be the main technical point of contact between everybody.

This must be what it feels like to enjoy your job.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
I bet you even get a new star for the badge!!!!
will it be your first?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Did you decide to put the special sauce on BEFORE the lettuce?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)
I don't work in McDonalds :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
burger king then.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)
You've got to be kidding, I'm dead patriotic.
Wimpy
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)
wimpey is burger king now :'(

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)
WHAT

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)
burger king bought it out years ago. sadtimes

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Oh, I am so quitting.
Is Little Chef still British owned?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Have BK taken on the bender in a bun and the brown derby?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Rubbish. Wimpy still exists as a franchised business. There's one by Clapham Junction.
They still do the same food.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)
It's the only one I've seen in years

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
There's one in Marlow as well near their office. Used to sell to them when i had my own company.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)
There used to be one in Pontypridd
When I was at university there. That was the last one I ever saw. The old Wimpey in Guildford shut down and was replaced by dundun duhhhhh BURGER KING
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)
yes, because they bought out wimpy.
battered is a prick and wrong.
we all knew that though, didn't we.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Shove this up your sweaty ringpiece.
www.wimpy.uk.com/menu.asp?id=22&mm=1
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
battered = wrong no matter what "facts" he wishes to use.
probably because you're a prick.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
i think there are still some independent franchises about the place

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
There's one in Southgate.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
that might be the one i'm thinking of, haven't been there since like 1989 or that

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
see now I can believe Q
he's not a complete liar, like battered.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)
i heard taht battered was actually lord lucan
the deceptive cur
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Below average weekend thanks...

I have trapped nerves in my neck / shoulder so I'm walking around looking like Sandi Toksvig. Also, a week ago today i incinerated the roof of my mouth on a particularly hot Chinese chip and it still hurts like napalm covered fuck.

I got to see the olympic torch yesterday though.

This week? I plan to spend in many differing levels of extreme pain. It's started badly, I just found out a mate has been made redundant, and that I have a 45 minute presentation to the MD and the board tomorrow.

I don't do public speaking - I'm comfortable with my 'internet shut-in' status.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
You walk around clam jousting with other women?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
as an internet doctor I prescribe three to four hundred pain killers and a bottle of jack.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
He should then release the nerves by drawinga sharp knife across his neck

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:24, Reply)
I find a rope with a large amount of tension helps.
a noose arrangement, something like that.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I had trapped nerves in my neck once.
It didn't make me walk around like a short, middle aged lesbian, though. I don't even know if short, middle aged lesbians even have a particular gait.

Edit: They certainly didn't make me look like her. I think you have something else wrong with you if you're starting to resemble Sandi Toksvig.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
they walk like rage filled lesbian monkeys

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Going to the CAB.
And then lawyer. Got a fucking email saturday night, giving me a week's notice. Which I think is probably illegal, as I'm being replaced by 2 "volunteere", ie 2 guys from the dole/welfare to work scheme. Then getting drunk.
Alt, really can't think, probably mobiles. The way they dominate our lives is pretty crap.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I bet they're both muslims too.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
It's the inevitable result of the islamification of this country.
Soon all of our jobs will be done by muslims.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)
I heard all our jobs will have to wear sheets and face masks
it's the bastard son of health and safety and political correctness gone made.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)
how long you been there bear pookie the jobraith fan?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
2 weeks under a year.
A year is apparently a cutoff point for certain rights. Fuck it, I'm ok financially, I'll just have the Summer off, and then do something else. I've been considering going back to uni, so maybe this will give me a kick in the arse.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)
do you work in tesco then?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:25, Reply)
be a step up for you, boy-o

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:25, Reply)
okay Q, now it's the worst thread ever.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I'll fetch the matches

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)
probably for the best.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
yay, more biting scottish wit
sorry, bitter.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
stop with the bad vibes
it's monday
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)
he started it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
nuh-uh!
MUM!!! she's telling tales on me again!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
you started it by posting, if you'd read a bit higher up you'd have seen this is a no swipey thread

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
i can't understand his provincial povvo accent, tbh

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
he's writing in english
you struggle with reading english? god help the law school you went to
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
nah
i get through one word of his mc-shit and read the next subthread
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)
lol
riding on a wave of your butthurt, right here.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
is that scottish for "fart"?
it sounds like it should be
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)
says the fucking manc.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)
IT'S CHESHIRE
god almighty, don't make me post you a map
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)
isn't that a type of cat?
you fucking mental, are you a cat?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
it's also a cheese
don't forget that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)
so, your pussy smells like cheese.
thought as much.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)
yeah, fuck off back to are you being served.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)
i'm not going to lie to you
i really fucking wish you hadn't thought about my pussy AT ALL.

EVER.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)
at last, we agree on something.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Hey Swipe, when did you dye your hair?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
few weeks ago
it washes out pink these days, think it's all the grey streaks. time to dye it again.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
ironylolz

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
shit life lols

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
ironylolz

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Surely if you are unemployed you should be saving money by using public transport
I don't work to pay for you to be chaufferd around, 'ealth and sfety gone mad
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:25, Reply)
on an EDM training course
Is it possible to actually die of boredom? Stay tuned.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)

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