Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Good here, innit?Anybody alive?
(
Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:13,
196 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
not too bad thank you.this is the first time I can recall where I've come back to work from holiday to no dramas. It's a relief for sure.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:35,
Reply)
I'm here but I plan to be at the pub very shortlyJust waiting for the washing to finish. Rock 'n' roll!!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Well forked, but not dead.I've been eating salmon fish cakes. That is the most interesting thing to have happened today.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)
Unless it has been smoked, salmon is repulsive.Hope this helps x
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
Salmon is quite shitty,but these were nice. Tartare Sauce, and lemon helped disguise the stale, off minge aroma and taste.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:39, Reply)
I smoked banana skins as a teenager, in the forlorn hope that these would get me stoned.They didn't. Hope this helps x
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:42, Reply)
We spent an hour cooking them to some sort of recipeall we did was set off the smoke alarm and ruina perfectly good saucepan
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
Cheers Q, what's up with you art the moment?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
Cool storyI need some new bins actually, the lid on the kitchen one won't close and miniape keeps putting stuff in their, by stuff I mean her toys, my sunglasses, phone, wallet etc
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
get 30L brushed stainless steel pedal binsthen me you and Two Hats can be Bintuplets!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Oh man where from, i have some John Lewis vouchers(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
I was made to spend £80 of them on a "throw"Eighty fucking quid
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
I'll tell you who.A bent spastic, that's who.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
nah, it's more like a blanketand we spent £30 on a clock, a fucking clock! And yet I'm not allowed a new TV, bad times quints.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
mine was........ i won't tell you. but it was a lot more than that. for the first 2 years, i went mental if anyone tried to put anything in it, or got fingerprints on it.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:16,
Reply)
I saw one for £200 in a little boutique shopnothing special about it, no robotics, nothing amazing
fucking lunacy
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:18, Reply)
erm, yeahabsolute fucking idiots, yeah.
yeah.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:22,
Reply)
you spent £200 on a bin, didn't you swipe?£200 on a container for all the dried urine you have to scrape off the walls you've been pissing up
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)
how do you get a salmon to light?you'd have to twist the tail and dry it out somewhat
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:50, Reply)
With great difficulty, I have to say,but the lungfuls of acrid, fishy smoke are so delightful that it really is worth the effort.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:55,
Reply)
I AM SO FUCKEN KRAYZEEE!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
Just had an email from a colleague to the effect of........ Should we lobby the management re the cumulative time off that smokers get due to 'fag breaks'? Should smokers get 1 day less holiday or should non-smokers get 1 day more holiday?
Interesting idea? - discuss
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:30, Reply)
As a non-smoker I think these moaning Marys ought to just fuck off.Regards,
Kroney
(
Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:33,
Reply)
Nothing stopping non-smokers going away and doing something else for ten minutes.(
thealternativefact, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:33,
Reply)
I wish I still worked for a company,so I could have a bog wank. Hope this helps x
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)
You you have a bog in the middle of the offfice floor?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:38,
Reply)
I I didn't Mr Ape no.I had to walk several yards down a corridor, before my pre-prandial spurts.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:41, Reply)
I missed the word 'still' in your OP, soz(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:42,
Reply)
I work from home a lot of the timeWanking is implied...'Bog' or otherwise
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
A wank whilst being paid for it, is excellent. It makes dragging your arse out of bed worthwhile.(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:54, Reply)
And yet, people look down on prostetutions... how strange.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
I read that as borg wankingI AM JOHN LUCAS OF THE STAR SHIP BORG ! EXTERMINATE ! EXTERMINATE !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
I reckon most people would do the borg queen.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
Whilst it is a bit unfair that smokers get to go outside for 5 minutes and have a fag and most companies won't do anything regarding the obvious difference in time worked that this causesanyone that would actually take this up by lobbying their management is so clearly a friendless cunt that they should be tarred, feathered and then shot in the face.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Measured and reasonable, I think.My boss smokes, which means she and I get to have meetings on the bench in the lovely park.
(
thealternativefact, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
I get given more work on fag breaks than I do on conference calls.(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:52, Reply)
'clearly a friendless cunt that they should be tarred, feathered and then shot in the face'They ARE German if that makes any difference.
Anyhow. It's now booze oclock.
Later, Quenders.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Your colleague sounds like a fucking tosser.I suggest sending an email to everyone who got the last one, suggesting that people who send round pissy emails whining about other people instead of getting on with their fucking jobs should be punched repeatedly in the face until they look like a leaky bag of mince, set fire to, and then sacked.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
How the devil are you, young Hatmaster Flash?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
Hey Monty, how are you?I'm gonna see you tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:05, Reply)
I'm gonna be on my way to France so can't make it I'm afraid, but thanks for the invite(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
Likewise, Alphonse.Although I have to be in Shoreditch for 10am Sunday which will not be fun.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
Kent to Shoreditch by 10am fucking is.I'm hoping to take Len to Carnival - will you be around?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
oh i'm sorry, that would have been fabbut i live a bit too close to it for comfort, so i am escaping to cheshire tonight :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
Passive aggressive cunt, tell him to go do one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
NoNo
but I do have a BBQ pulled pork wrap and two new jumpers.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:35,
Reply)
Another shitty day at work. Still, holidays start from tomorrow.I need to buy a suitcase.
(
Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:43,
Reply)
how can you not own an suitcase?i could have lent you one if you'd asked. of course, it's a pink shiny hardshell one, but you'd spot it easily on the belt...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
but.... how?isn't it one of those things you just acquire on adulthood? i have about 5 cluttering up the top of my spare room wardrobe
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
Been to gym, might have a hot lunch(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:47,
Reply)
A hot lunch is a euphamism for eating a freshly laid turd btw(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:49,
Reply)
AyeHaving a nice salad for lunch, you?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:48,
Reply)
having some iceberg lettuce and tomato on your "family Bucket" does not constitute a salad(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:51,
Reply)
Went to Sainsburys, raided the salad counterThe KFC is later.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:53,
Reply)
No, although I usually go for the hot counter, as they do nice wingsToday, the salad bar looked good, so I decided to go for that instead.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
The pub opposite Stunned Poster's office does 50 wings for £8.45(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:15,
Reply)
Thos would have been happy and healthy chickens(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
I do hope not.I fucking hate chickens. The more they suffer, the more turned on I become.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
he woke me up with a random text the other nighti may feed him to said chickens
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:19,
Reply)
I get those all the time. Usually between 3 and 5am, on worknights.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
48 for £4.80 from SainsburysAnd not as bad as you'd expect
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
I dunno what I've done to piss you all off but you can stop the hate campaign taxx
MODS
xx
(
Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:51,
Reply)
FINALLY some civilitySome fucking manners off you dickshits
(
Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
Nah, used lots of lube.I am very cold though. The ground has frozen over.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I'm alive... ishLooking forward to shovelling a massive steak into my face in a few hours time... it's the little things.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Well fucking hell, look who it is.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
I thought you were on holiday(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
All good thanks dude. Did you get any time with mini monts?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
That I am!Going away for a few days too, should be fun!
You?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
Ah niceFingers crossed the weather doesn't suck big-stylee for you! :S
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:40, Reply)
Sadly, I don't think that'll help!Ah well, we've got plenty to do, weather isn't a huge issue
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
Oh man they're so cool.I love talking about them, and find people talking about their 'zombie escape plans' to be in no way complete fucking wankers in desperate need of having acid thrown in their faces and their hands smashed with hammers.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
mate of mine is playing a zombie in some kids film written and directed by charlie higsontrue story
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:18, Reply)
You should 'unfriend' him immediately.When I was at school a lot of the older boys were 'into' a band called The Higsons, he was the singer I think.
Even truer story.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:20,
Reply)
Charlie Higson was, not your mate.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
AA told me a story like this about "The Buchannons"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
rotted off?That's method acting, right there.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:11,
Reply)
Shut your fucking cakehole, wankchops.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:20,
Reply)
I don't have one of thoseMaybe I'll work on it... but first work on an 'escaping acid in the face plan'
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:21, Reply)
You've got about five minutes. Get to it!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
Are you that close?Good luck getting in the building, you'll be smothered by tiny children all hopped up on frappas by the time to get to my floor! :)
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
I will have sex with all the children and then throw acieed in your fucken heid.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
Hmm...You haven't seen them... they're all *trendy* and wear drain pipe trousers and share their feelings.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
That's giving me the fucking horn.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
Don't mention crack, he'll get all drooly(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
I once asked a biology forum about how to protect ones self against volocorapters, and they took it seriously.Probably the best forum post I've ever written ever.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
I don't really rate itWearing wellies while coping a feel is such a mood killer.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)
Where's your sense of adventure? You disappoint me.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
Ah pishI'm adventurous - I once did a naked bungee-jumped with a duck called Colin... that's fairly adventurous!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Until you've bummed a friesian you havnae fucken lived, pal.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Please die.Thanks in advance x
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
www.instantrimshot.com
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
Full, the buggers haven't been this week, must be something to do with the bank holidayAlso, I am good thanks! How are you diddling?
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Nothing really*puts away paper and pen*
*tells the FBI to back off - it's getting to real*
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I can't believe I fucked that up.TWO THIRTY! would have worked. So would TOOTH HURTY!
But noooooo, I can't even get that right.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
nailswww.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-19348834
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
This is some good forum'ing. I can't believe I remember a post I made on a forum 4-5 years ago.www.askabiologist.org.uk/answers/viewtopic.php?id=988
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
I have actually been workingwell, more like
Try something: it breaks
Try something slightly different: it breaks
Shuffle code around: still breaks
"Oh did nobody tell you you have to [stupid thing] for that to work?"
"No, no they did not."
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
Have you tried turning it on and off?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
PS fancy a spot of carnival on Sunday?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
Yes.Unless it's some sort of bumfun carnival.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
It is, isn't itShit. Oh alright then.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
I'll give you a shout.It all hinges on how much of a cunt my ex is being, mind.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
She's been worse than ever recently.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
Groovy.Fingers crossed she's on an upswing.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Some googling reveals that it's Notting Hill Carnival you're talking aboutI genuinely didn't know that was this weekend. /notfromlondon
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
We have a bumfun festival here too.Apparently it's something to do with these homosexuals.
(, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:57, Reply)
So I bought a suitcase. It's grey. At least it's grey under UV.It's actually a sort of slate grey, which means in natural light it looks a little bit lavender.
I forsee a lot of "NO, it's SLATE. GREY." in my future.
(
Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
i don'tyou bought it in uxbridge. this means it will be shit and last 5 mins.
like everything else in uxbridge.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
I wish Uxbridge was only going to last another five minutes.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:11,
Reply)
You look more than a little bit 'lavender' yourself.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
and smelldefinitely a whiff of the old lady pants drawer about him
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
Oh look.It's that recurring pain in my balls back again. Alright, swipe?
(
Kroney, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
I AM THE GHOST OF POSTERS PAST. WoooOOOOooooOOOO.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
why do you hate chickens so much?you're as bad as kroney and his moth terrors
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »