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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Invade Poland?
So now that my six month contract is up, I have been offered 4 months’ work in Poland. Good money, a flat, flights for family etc. However, I am not sure about it, as I don’t want to be apart from my wife & daughter and can’t ask my Mrs to spend a lot of time there, when she doesn’t know anyone, doesn’t speak the language and there is little for her to do. Should I take the job or not?
Alt: best sitcom over the last 30 years? Or is there no such thing as a good sitcom?
AltAlt: How
is your mum? Do send her my thanks and best wishes for me. Thanks.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:28,
265 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
It didn't work out too well for Hitler.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
To be fair, that's because he didn't stop at Poland....
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
What does your Mrs think about it?
Alt: Fawlty Towers
altalt: She's fine thanks, but asks if you wouldn't mind washing your cock next time as it smells funny.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
Nah, don't miss 'mini' battered growing up
Alt: I'm Alan partridge
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:40,
Reply)
t all depends
How many/how often the flights for wife&daughter would be - or would they be expected to stay there while you work?
Alt: Probably Fawlty towers
Altalt: Dead. But I'll pass on the thanks and best wishes when I'm next at a seance.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
Dead!?
Well that would explain why she was dryer than dead dingo's dong last night, despite my best moves
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
i thought it was dead dinogo's donger?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
ken dodd's dad's dead dinogo's donger?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
Serious answer
I think you should decline.
You don't need the extra money and you won't get this time back with your daughter. You would only come to regret it.
She's just turned one, right? They are fucking ace at that age and still changing all the time.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
The beardy twat is right
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:45,
Reply)
Are you still growing a beard?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
Maybe...
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
you should take a photograph every day, and then kill yourself
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
OK !!!!!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
I say ask Mrs. Battered
Then do what she says.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:43,
Reply)
Well it worked for you in your marriage
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
Never came up
but that wasn't what ended it.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
Yeah, 'cause women always give a straight answer.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
She'll expect you to make the decision, then she'll disagree with it anyway.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
Gosh
so much misogyny is response to such a simple question
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
this is true, and a roughly similar situaqtion is actually what ended my parents marriage.
I still thing Mrs. B is a better person to ask that n internet message board.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
Rubbish.
We definitely know best.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
She is very supportive of me doing it. I think I could get back one weekend a month & she could spend a week a month out there.
I can always do with more money, plus I get bored when not working.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
That sounds like a good deal!
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:54,
Reply)
Well, if it's only 4 months it's probably manageable
longer than that might get interesting.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
Don't be such a poof. You can talk over the phone, and skype your genitals at each other.
I think that's how it works. It's only 4 months.
Alt: Father Ted.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:48,
Reply)
Have you got kids?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
Only in his basement
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
No, but I'm a splendid uncle.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
but I'm a splendid uncle. because the court made me have a chemical castration.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
Alan Turing lols
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
yes, and he's not going to be taken alive
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
You need to tell them it's a young mans game, hadn't they noticed your plump greying balding middle aged visage
bread
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
I've known the people involved for years. One of them is my best mate.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
Eastern Europe in Winter sucks donkey balls
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
Deep frozen donkey balls surrounded by freezing fog and sleet.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
You could become best friends with /talks Polish ex-pat Grrrrmachine.
He likes to have sex with cars.
4 months is a long time away from family, i do't think i'd do it. I don't have kids, and sometimes do relief for pubs in other places, and a month without ladypig was enough for me.
Alt: Friends.
AltAlt: Been dead since 2002
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
Alt: Nearly all sitcoms are shit.
The only possible exceptions to this rule all seem to involve Armando Iannucci in some way.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
Bollocks.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
You don't like Armando Iannucci?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
no,
i do like iannucci, but there are loads of great sitcoms that ianucci was miles from.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
Loads?
Or fewer than five?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
LOADS!!
well, four or five probably. Look, i'm being grumpy today tangles, maybe its best we have this date another time when i'm in a better mood. It's not you, it's me, I've got a lot on my plate at the moment and it would be unfair to string you along with all my baggage. Gimme a call in a couple of months, maybe we can have a coffee and try again then. Sorry love. Have a good night.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
It's ok, we can just cuddle instead.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
I don't like YOU, you WOMAD Kershaw wanker.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
WOMAD Kershaw prick, please
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
My humble apologies.
I of course meant:
'Fucking knob-end You'ssou N'd'dour WOMAD prick African drum circle Kershaw WANKER from COVENTRY'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
That's Mr. Fucking knob-end You'ssou N'd'dour WOMAD prick African drum circle Kershaw WANKER from COVENTRY to you.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
Soz. Soz Boss.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
The thing is, right,
the term "World Music" instantly makes me think "Priviliged new-hippy cunt, pretending to slum it despite the million pound trust fund they'll pick up at 21"
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
It was nowhere near a million pounds.
And anyway, it's all gone now.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
you should invade Poland
Then kill yourself.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:54,
Reply)
Show me how it's done first.
*passes sharp knife*
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
I love you Po-land.
alt: Quite possibly Phoenix Nights.
altalt: you're wasting your time there son. Move on, that's my advice.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
Dave Spiky was great on that.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:58,
Reply)
It's pretty much flawless if you ask me.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
I'm surprised you liked it
What with all the northerns and povvos
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
"SIT DOWN OR YOU MAY DIE!!!!"
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:03,
Reply)
That's why I liked it so much.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
AltAlt: but she's been such a kind and considerate lover.
For a lezza.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:59,
Reply)
Alt honourable mentions:
Love Thy Neighbour
Mind Your Language
The Front Line (£50 to anyone who can get me even a single episode of this 80s classic about two black brothers in South London)
Fall & Rise of Reginald Perrin
Sorry! starring Ronnie Corbett
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
Good call on Perrin
The recent remake was dreadful.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 8:59,
Reply)
It really was.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
THERE WAS NO REMAKE
cf Total Recall, Wicker Man etc etc
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
Ha, the new wicker man was an incredible piece of cinematic failure
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
IT DOES NOT EXIST
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Endgame?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
yes, monty is a dick that asks obscure questions.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:04,
Reply)
And what are 'reamkes'? They sound like some kind of Russian hors d' oeuvres
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
wut?
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
prick
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
make sense man!
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
wanker
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
you're worse than nakers.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
Now steady on.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
No Till Death Us Do Part/In Sickness and In Health?
I'm a huge fan of the Two Ronnies but Sorry! was crap, as was Clarence. Open All Hours and Porridge were light-years better.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Sorry was total crap,
However I find Corbett so comical to look at that were he in pretty much anything I would like it. I cannot abide OOH or Porridge and have never managed a full episode of either.
Never liked Garnett either, nor Rab C Nesbitt which my brother swears is hysterical, primarily because there's a dwarf in it, I think.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:04,
Reply)
I never got Rab C either..
but my mum thinks it's great, probably because she was born round there and can understand it.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
the dwarf in that is a convicted nonce.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
Double lolz
Didn't the chap playing his brother top himself?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
not sure, probably.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
Sorry! is good in my fading memory
"Do you want smacked legs, Timothy?" "No thanks, Mother, I'm trying to give them up."
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
YOU SEE, EVERYONE?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
you should fuck off forever.
grrry lives in poland, it sounds shit.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
Thanks darling xxxx
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
can you not get proper jobs in the uk cause of all that fraud?
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:03,
Reply)
Honourable mention for the thick of it
Which is genius
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
THEY SWEAR A LOT!!!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
It's achingly beautiful
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
This post works really well!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
Also yes minister while we are politcalolling
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
haha, the jokes are varied!
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
Why hasn't your contract been extended?
Smelling of drink every morning and have non epilipetic shakes has done for you I reckon
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
He was embezzling funds which he spent on a series of ever-more-lavish built-up shoes,
things came to a head when he turned up in 4' gold platforms one morning.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
I heard it's because he kept sex pestering the women in the office, rubbing his crotch up against their knees
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
I head it's because he go so angry he tried to fire the entire board of directors.
Then pooed himself.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:16,
Reply)
You forgot my attempt to set the offices on fire.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
Ah yes. How remiss of me.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
I heard he used a fire extinguisher to propel his chair around the board room.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
whilst singing 'you're shit and you know you are' to the CEO.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
in every board meeting he would repeat everything back that was said in a childish sarcastic voice.
"the projections are really encouraging."
"de prwojections are weally encouwaging."
"would you stop that please."
"would you stop dat pwease."
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
Kim Jong Battered
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
because he's a prick.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
well yeah that's a given
He was all Gordon Geckoing on bored graduate managers, the feedback was horrific
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
I heard he walked round the office challenging staff to a dance off.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:16,
Reply)
Pfft.
It was only ever going to be for 6 months, there was some talk of a 2 month extension, but they didn't have the budget.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
It comes down to a little bit of B. and a lot of A.
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
...and even more of 'Baracus'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
Sorry, that was poor.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
If this hasn't cheered battered up when he's found out he's being sacked I don't know what will
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
Damn right.
I left at the end of August btw.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
washed up before you're forty :(
That's marketing though, burnt out all 'creativity' gone. Sucked up and spat out.
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
I know. It's tough man.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
To be fair, I don't think he was expecting to live this long.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
true, the little people always have reduced life expectancy
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
Because he misunderstood the doctor when he was told to expect a 'short life'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
alsoalt:
Black Adder, especially series 2.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
I can't believe it took this long for Blackadder to get a mention...
Possibly because the first one was shite.
(
Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
It was the only one that wasn't.
The others were 'shitter than Shit Shitty McShit, the first sea lord of Shittington' etc etc
Any cunt could churn out that drivel in their sleep.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
I didn't like series 3 either
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
Four was fucking dire and the last scene of the last episode was so gay I nearly shat a rainbow.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
hahaha!
even though I don't entirely agree with you, the comment rates a click.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
You're wrong, Boyce
Hope that helps.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
Don't you know its tremendoulsly un-cool to like Blackadder
Even though everyone here watched and liked it at the time.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
Makes no odds, I'm tremendously uncool anyway.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
I think 'being a child at the time' is a reasonable defence for me on that one.
I also liked Champion The Wonder Horse and I've gone off that a little, too.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
You can't use the "I was a kid" defence with me sonny.
You've always been old.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
*rumbled face*
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
Same goes for the A Team and Dukes of Hazzard
which now look utter shite.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
Even 'Manimal' hasn't aged well!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
There's talks of 'them' doing a film of that sometime soon
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
Nor Stig of the dump.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Story of my life.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
Go, shag Polish women, come back
Sorted.
Alt: US sitcom Community is damn good currently, going back further I'd have to say probably Fawlty Towers.
AltAlt: Still dead, but just to be sure we dug her up and burnt her bones. /Supernatural.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
Fawlty Towers was over 30 years ago.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
In John Cleese-related news, I rewatched 'Fierce Creatures' the other day
There's no way they started filming that pile of shite with a finished script, it's all over the place.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
If your daughter was older, I'd say take it
However, as she's still probably developing everyday, would you not miss a few important things? Set up Skype, you'd still be able to speak to and see them every night.
Alt: Red Dwarf, LOL. Nah, probably the later series of Blackadder, I'd say.
AltAlt; Still dead. Might go to her grave this weekend though, not been in a while.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
you want him to sex chat with his daughter?
you sick fucking bastard.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
His card is marked. I'll have him for that. The fucking nonce.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
you might be an achingly dull shitcunt prick fraudster
but noncing your own daughter? fucking hell, this place is a disgrace.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
I've reported this to the mods, he's always making enquiries about peoples kids and their whereabouts, bloody creepy that's all I'm saying
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
fucking proper creeps me out.
why hasn't he been banned yet?
real ale? real nonce more like!!
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:36,
Reply)
He likes them 'hand-pulled', if you know what I mean.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
Don't report him to Scaryduck, they'll just end up comparing notes & techniques.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
If you insist.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
you sicken me to the core.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
I've got a spade in the car you borrow this weekend.
I don't need him for driving duties.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
Thanks Miss Daisy.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
Depends on the rate.
alt: Porridge.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
Alt: Home To Roost, Nightingales, Spaced and Father Ted
Altalt: She's fine thanks!
It's only four months and returning home at the end of it should be better than an mdma-blowie from Santa.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
Alright 'Bill Clay'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
Alright 'Monty Boyce'
Did I miss anything?
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
1. Some pricks being wankers
2. Some gays whinging
3. Some Ignore 2.0 based tedium
In summary: no
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
now now Bill,
Spaced was awful.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
I disagree with this opinion on the internet right here
I really, really do.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
other than the pop culture referencs that pandered to the nostalgic sentiment of a generation of post grads stuck in shitty london flats,
because the university dream wasn't all it cracked up to be, all it had was tired old jokes, and a ropey story line.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
I AGREE WITH THIS.
OOhh I ride a SKATEBOARD, and I'm 'INTO COMICS' and and and
Fuck off you pricks. It's basically a documentary about A Vagabond and EmVee.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
It made me laugh.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
well, that is all well and good,
and i'm glad you enjoyed it.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
your face makes me laugh
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
I don't think we can be friends any more now.
Soz 'BC', soz.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
We were friends?
I mean, I know we went to the Red Dwarf convention together as Lister and Rimmer but I always thought of you as just a fellow 'Dwarfer', not a friend. Ah well, fare thee well 'Ace'.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
Smegging hell I've been rumbled again.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
I liked it.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
you don't like anything.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
:(
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
I'm disapointed in you MMPS
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
coming from you, that means fuck all.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
Why do we always hurt the ones we love?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
You must be a prick then.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
oh monty, one day you'll find someone that cares!
stay strong hun xxx
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
Thank you for these supportive words x
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
It was truly fucking dire.
The agonisingly laboured 'cultural references' and utterly pathetic attempts to be 'cool' make it one of the worst programmes ever.
I'd rather watch QVC than that terrible, embarrassing shit.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
i've done this bit up there boyce,
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
Good work.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
Nightingales is one of those programmes that I remember as being absolutely brilliant at the time.
But I suspect that if I ever saw it again, I would be very disappointed.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
I've just realised, I thought he was on about 'Butterflies' and was rather perplexed.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
bit like a going on a second date with you
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
You said you had a good time on our first date.
Is this why you are not responding to any of my text messages?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
yeah about that, my phone is lost/broken/cut off
and I've been really busy, so i'll call you later yeah?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
I only ever saw one episode
but my brother raved about it.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
malc's back in prison :(
but you know what? i saw avengers assemble last night, and my favourite bit was the racist bit
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
What's he gone back in for?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
lets just say he was engaging in activities he wasn't otherwise authorised to
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
rape?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
Do you have authorisation?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
THEN IT WOULDN'T BE RAPE WOULD IT?
For fucks sak nakkers, no one wonder everyone hates you.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
its not jsut online either
i heard his baby cries when it looks at him
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
terrible, terrible bullying here
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
sadly not
he was authorised by the prison to "work" for 15+ hours a day, including bank holidays and weekends, as that's the hours he claimed we do business
This was set up by joe as he used malc for garden maintenance etc, and malc was happy as it got him out.
unfortunately he wasn't always doing work for joe, he had a gym membership set up and all sorts
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
Typical Malc!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
pretty much, he was always bending and breaking the rules
bound to happen sooner or later, might have been his mrs who grassed him
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
hang on,
so he was allowed out to work, was he going back to prison in the evenings?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
yes, except on town visit and home leave days
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:14,
Reply)
how did the tit scan go?
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
It's confirmed - he really is a tit.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
fuck off monty. his bird might lose a tit and look fucking odd
have some respect man!
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
she'll end up walking in circles
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
you fucking prick!
why are you making jokes? she might have to wear a pair of those comedy tits like what gazza wore in italia 90.
why are you all being such cunts?
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
I did the serious bit down there
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
Oh right. Soz Q.
I was just trying to be funny but now I see that this was inappropriate in the extreme.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
she won't lose a tit anyway, apparently even if benign its easily removeable
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
Tell that to 'Mel & Kim'!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
They ain't ever gonna be La Senza-ble
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
i don't get this reference
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
the scan has been booked for friday morning
we were waiting for the appointment to come through, the fact it's come so quickly has me worried :(
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
nah, you're ok. They like to move fast as the earlier things are detected the better
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
Don't panic, Q.
They don't mess about when it comes to lumps and stuff. It's one bit of the NHS that works incredibly fast.
Morning everyone, by the way.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
nah, they always do these things quick.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
i just always figured that as this was britain, and lets face it we're shit at pretty much everything
they wouldn't do something like this so quick unless it was serious
hold me, mmps
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
for stuff like this they work well fast, don't mean it is cancer.
*snugglewuggles*
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
i hope it IS cancer, she was horrible to me last night
she said I was selfish, I mean ME, selfish?
ME?
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
Bitches be trippin
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
I can't belIeve she would call ME selfish though
I mean
ME?
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
Early diagnosis is the key, though.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
No, Lokesy old chap, 'not having cancer' is the key.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
If only mr b3th had realised that twelve years ago...
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
:(
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
Sometimes it's the obvious things that people miss.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
*feels foolish*
*removes naked_ape from under desk*
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
doctors love feeling tits,
so they book it in nice and early.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
lol
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
The reason they see you quickly is because it is one of the government targets.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
prick off fucknuts
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
I thought everyone knew this.
Diagnosis of cancer is a key objective. Try getting treatment for depression without using the S word.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
eh? what S word? are you depressed Bart?
chin up
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
oh suicide? brilliant, i eman i don't think anyone's eally depressed unless they're suicidal
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
It's not really AIDs until your skin starts peeling off
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
I'm not depressed Q, but I have been in the past
You don't get to see a professional until you say you feel suicidal. So just feeling bad about things simply means tablets.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
feeling bad about things is just normal, as above you're not really depressed unless you're reaching for razors
you're just unhappy, like a middle aged housewife stuck in a rut
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
Well, it is possible to feel so bad that you can't motivate yourself to go to work.
Or even get up and face the world. And still not feel like you want to top yourself.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
sounds a bit gay to me, just pull your socks up and ge tout there
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
What I never understand is if depression is caused by a chemical imbalance that can be treated with drugs, then how can talking help
if it's purely psycological, how can drugs help?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
probably positive thinking or sharing or something helps release other chemicals in the brain to make you feel better
if you're a woman, anyway
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:22,
Reply)
Using the Sword?
You DO know 'Highlander' is just made up, right?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
Shirtenly
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
it's the only way of Quickening up the healing process
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
If you were single, I'd say go for it.
Might be a bit hard being separated from microbattered though. I understand people with kids get somewhat attached to them.
Alt: drop the dead donkey rates highly with me.
Altalt: just got back from a holiday in Turkey. I spoke to her last night and she never mentioned you, sorry.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
Morning B3thy, how's the west country today
I am in Croydon with a hangover :(
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
Wet, cold and windy.
Insert inappropriate clunge joke here
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
yes?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
Are you wet and cold too?
If not, I didn't mean you.
Sorry Windy.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
you need to be more careful b3th,
this srt of thing can really confuse a man of my limited brain.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
maybe stay off the pier, just in case
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
I've got to venture out in a bit anyway
But I'll try to avoid the sea front.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
Does this mean its healthy?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
Unless it's a dog's nose, no.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
BUT HOW DOES IT SMELL?!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
Like a fish market on a summer's day.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
like your florping great fanny!
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
Citizen Khan is well good, you should all stay up late and watch it
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
(!)
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
You're one of the best people on here Glued Eel, you really are.
But I wrote a long piece on staplers for you yesterday and you didn't even have the courtesy to reply.
For this reason alone I'm afraid I'm not going to take you up on your quite probably excellent 'tee vee' advice here.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:07,
Reply)
Plus it's got 'packies' in it.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
I totally replied eventually
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
I watched the first episode of that.
It was as embarrassing as Some mothers do ave em.
Which was also extremely shit.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:07,
Reply)
^^^^this
I'm amazed there hasn't been rioting in the streets or an attempt to burn down the BBC, unbelievably bad unfunny racial stereotyping.
Perhaps it's just so unfunny no-ones watching it.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
It seems to be in the most popular section on the old Iplayer,
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:11,
Reply)
your shit
some of my best childhood memories were of watching thingybob/condorman go 'ooh betty!'
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:11,
Reply)
Plus he did all his own stunts.
PLUS when his cat did a whoopsie I lolled.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
and when the chimney fell on him and he thought he did an accident in his trousers
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
And when he rollerskated down the street.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
and the time their bed did that thing
(
quintsy, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
my muslim mate likes it.
she says that's what
they're like.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
new thread time!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
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