Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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WEEKEND THREAD!pretend like you give a shit, swap recipe ideas, try and hook up with a fat lass, you can do it all in here.
Alt: acting. Have you ever been in a play or a TV or movie for that matter? Were you always the tree or were you the leading man?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:38,
265 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I'm doing fuck all, until sunday, then playing a board game with some mates then the girlfriend is coming down on sunday.(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Also, I don't know if this is a good ideawww.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/dec/07/puppy-room-canadian-university
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)
hopefully the dogs will turn on them and eat the canuk cunts(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:41,
Reply)
It's a shit idea if you don't like dogs.Which I don't.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:42,
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why don't you like dogs?what kind of sociopath doesn't like dogs?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:43,
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I don't even like dog owners.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:43,
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^^ this ^^(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:44,
Reply)
Dogs are thick and people who like them have an inner inadequacy which is assuaged by having a dribbling, bounding retard at their beck and call to make them feel loved.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:51,
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So that's what Mrs Ape gets out of her marriage.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:52,
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*pats on head*WHOSACLEVERBOY!!!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:54,
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That would expain why he's such a mewling quim(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:45,
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I hate cats too.Stupid scratchy creatures, always trying to sit on my lap.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:45,
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I was entirely on your side until this post, you inhuman cunt.
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Kroney, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:47,
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I'm not the one trying to form relationships with other species.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:49,
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www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=465812463465738&set=a.306126372767682.67530.292440510802935&type=1&theater
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:48, Reply)
I don't really like tuna so selling tuna in the shops is a shit idea.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:02,
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I used the conjuction 'if', meaning 'on the condition or supposition that'I don't eat tuna either.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:09,
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Fackin' ellIs this TOWIE or something?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:44,
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Isn't he David Bowie's son?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:50,
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There was a live episode on the other night.Or so I heard, I didn't watch it.
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wanderlust, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:52,
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I don't hear much about it now, probably because I tend to spit repeatedly in the face of anyone who mentions it.(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I loved you in "father of the Bride" and "Pissing on Planes"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:43,
Reply)
I'm saying that you are prominent nosed Gallic actor Gerard Depardieu, who starred in "father of thge bride" and once urinated in the aisle of a planehth xx
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:57,
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He's a right old weirdo, that one.Saw him on some chat show. My face did this: =/
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Kroney, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:59,
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Off to see yet more houses at the weekendCurry and wine
Alt:
No
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:43,
Reply)
Looking at a "fixer-upper" nowShould save about 70K that way
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:45,
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Most likelyCould rent for 6 months whilst doing it up though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
Go for it and build your own(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:47,
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No plots where I want to live availableThis would be a 2 storey extension and knocking through of walls, etc.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:49,
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What do you mean we can't get the planning?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:57,
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Thats the one(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:54,
Reply)
it's going to be hot tomorrow. 37 degrees. I will die.I will be hiding. And then Sunday I'm working. As I am every night til thursday. YAY MONIES!
alt: yes. in high school plays. does that count?
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Hey it's nearly christmas, you should start banging on about having christmas day on the beach like we careyour national pastime.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:57, Reply)
That’s not very sympatheticHave you ever tried to BBQ a turkey?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 10:59,
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No i haven't, the Americans deep fry them though, I'd like to give that a go.(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:08, Reply)
THey don't do thatthey BBQ prawns and salmon and cook the turkey in the oven and you need a maasive bin full of ice to store the beers in.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Racist(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:21,
Reply)
actually that's pretty true.except my family has never had turkey, we always have a cold smoked ham.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:28, Reply)
I'll be home at my parents, so it's possible actually...but I don't really like the heat when it's like this. I don't cope with it.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Rocking, raving, misbehaving.Alt. Was an extra in a couple of shows and was in a good few plays in my yoof.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:02,
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I once had 22 lines to say, that was my biggest ever part(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:11,
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I was a sheperd then a wise man ad then Jesus, that's career progression(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:18,
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I've been in a few plays, me.1. Aged 5 I was a flower in my primary school play. Brown tights, a brown rollneck and big petals framing my angelic face.
2. Aged 6 I was on some next level shit at the primary school play: a BIRD. Blue sparkly costume and, once again, tights.
3. Aged 7 I was in the Sunday school play, with my first and only speaking role. Humiliating to relate, I played a Jew with a skullcap on - but wowed the critics with my line 'FIVE LOAVES AND THREE SMALL FISHES?' said in an incredulous and not at all stentorian tone.
I should try out for one of Emvee's zombie films.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:27,
Reply)
That's a lot of tights for a minor to be wearing.I don't know how to break this to you, but I think your teacher was a fiddler.
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Kroney, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:30,
Reply)
my dad was always in shit at schoolone day he was told that he wasn't getting detention or a caning as usual, he was getting a much worse punishment: he had to be in the shakespeare play. in purple tights.
that was about 60 years ago and his brother and mates have never let him forget it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:32,
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Monty was way too ugly to be nonced, what with his straggly beard and long greasy hair(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:32,
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Straggly beards are not what your average nonce is looking for.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:33,
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Are you still working on that book?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:45,
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The main one:b3ta.com/questions/mademelaugh/post1801789?highlight=answers-post-1801844
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:35,
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I really don't know.I made one small reference to his creepy email hacking story and the poor boy disintegrated before my very eyes.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:34,
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He doesn't seem to notice your name doesn't contain the word merrily.(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:41, Reply)
He's got bigger problems to worry about, I'd say.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:41,
Reply)
i seem to have arranged about 5 things this weekend, not sure whom i am seeing whenprobably a hockey/rugby party on the sat night, wherein i will be the only person there with zero interest in either sport, trying to pretend that i am thinking about joining the team. hot guys in rugby shorts and a free bar having nothing to do with my attendance.
alt: school plays, nothing since. there was a horrific moment when i was about 6 when i obliviously flashed a big chunk of buttock at the audience, but luckily my mother waited until i was about 21 to tell me about it.
i like writing drama much more than acting it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:29,
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i know :)shame about the saggy wrinkly 3 day old greggs baps
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:32,
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Fuck's sake.I hit \ instead of Caps and had to start over. I am blaming this fully on a technicality.
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Kroney, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:35,
Reply)
no one ever mentioned itit really was the elephant in the room
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:31,
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DOes anyone else get the feeling that having hardrock the hare around is like when you're at a family gatheringand some annoying little 11 or 12 year old cousin who thinks they're all grown up and witty comments on every single thing that gets said with what he thinks is a really pithy or humorous statement, frequently referencing something like Monty Python, and then looks around expecting everyone to join in with laughter, but actually everyone just totally ignores them and carries on regardless?
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:32, Reply)
*looks at clock*You are so right.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:39,
Reply)
I thought you and a really ugly looking deformed dog fetus were the same person.(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:43, Reply)
I thought we was tight Al(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:51,
Reply)
HOLY FUCK WHAT THE HELLI'll get on the phone to the newswires, you check if everyone is ok
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Should we take a roll call or something?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:46,
Reply)
must have been, i congratulated al on something, and it's gorn(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:47,
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al doesn't like people talking about 'that'which is ironic, considering how much he likes to talk about battered's missus.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:53,
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are we coming back to the dishing it out but can't take it sub-thread?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:54,
Reply)
if you can take it, from an entire rugby team and still come back for secondsYours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:57,
Reply)
Not really,Battereds Mrs was brought up on the board by him and discussed along with his family.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Can we please get clarification from Dozer on whether this is actually ironic or not?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:00,
Reply)
Did someone mention fat birds?Just so you know, I've been keeping a very stern eye on proceedings this morning, and I'm taking a very dim view of things. Possibly cataracts, I'm not sure.
Alt: I'm fucking shit hot at acting. If I hadn't gone to a very traditional grammar school that looked down on that sort of thing, I might have studied it. I bet I would have made a proper drama school wanker.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:46,
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:48,
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Look, this hilarious strikethrough took a lot of effort and you lot have just ignored it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:09,
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I apologise if I upset you with my comment yesterdayit was all said in jest. It's the internet innit!
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:50, Reply)
*blank stare*Sorry, if you said something mean, I must have missed it. Or not cared. One or the other.
Internet, however, is srs bsns.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:51,
Reply)
Because, as a woman, you don't have a very well developed sense of humour?Or because you are genetically programmed to giggle coquettishly when a man makes a statement so that he will find you more attractive?
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:56, Reply)
Surely I could achieve the same thing by just carrying a paper bag round with me?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:02,
Reply)
becasue you are awake 7 hours earlier than normal andare feelinga little wired?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:56,
Reply)
Because you are a discerning woman that appreciates wit and repartee in it's highest form. You are very welcome.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:56, Reply)
The other explanations seem more plausible.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:57,
Reply)
You have to keep the mods sweet, Tangles. Even if all good mods are dead.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:58, Reply)
It was more your 'wit and repartee in its highest form' that I was questioning.Also, I misplaced your comma and read this as you calling me as 'sweet Tangles', which made my winky feel funny.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:03,
Reply)
Hahahahahaha! Right, lunch for Daddy Stunned.
Curry and the gorgeous gallon.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:05, Reply)
My mate from Liverpool has just got his
kids a trampoline and a couple of bikes
for Christmas from the internet.
I asked him which website he saw them on.
His reply? "Google Earth".
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:47,
Reply)
Roses are straightIvy is twisted
Bend over love
you're about to get fisted.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:25,
Reply)
Edward Lear's 'old man with a beard' is far and away the worst.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:53,
Reply)
FFS have you no knowledge whatsoever of the lyrics to Street Tuff?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 11:59,
Reply)
AltI did my degree in acting... as I thought it would be a good move, however I soon decided that the vast majority of theatre types were insufferable cunts with a massively inflated sense of self importance.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Can you do that 'modern major general' one that Chompy likes?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:13,
Reply)
Unfortunately notI can sing the narrator role in Joseph (for my sins)
And quote Peer Gynt if thats any good?
(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Yup, either of those will be just fine, thanks a lot.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:19,
Reply)
I can't believe it has taken so long for someone to say what I'm sure we were all thinking.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:22,
Reply)
Everyone's gone quiet.This is usually the point in a party at which somebody like swipe says something embarrassingly filthy and then laughs and snorts loudly before falling over into a pot plant.
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Kroney, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:22,
Reply)
Did this happen at PIZZABASH?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:25,
Reply)
firstly i am never embarrassingsecondly i am never filthy
thirdly i NEVER snort
fourthly i don't own any pot plants
go back to your girlfriend, frenchie...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:28,
Reply)
when you were sucking off your gay boyfriend did you ever let your mind wander during fellatio and accidentally almost bite his cock off cos you could smell sausage rolls?(, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:30, Reply)
if your mind wanders during fellatioyou're doing it wrong.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Dec 2012, 12:37,
Reply)
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