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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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According to my shower gel i should now smell of lemon grass and "sea minerals" which is probably just salt
What do you smell of?

Akt: have you ever instigated a riot by attacking our brave policemen?

altalt: best tango flavour EVA
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:19, 193 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Altalt: Me

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
hahaha
*licks*
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
I currently smell of this:
fimgs.net/images/perfume/nd.17.jpg

Hope this is educational.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:21, Reply)
homo mud?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Hermes, not homo.
Messenger god mud, you prick.

Fuck's sake.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
messenger god mud?
in what language does that mean anything?
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Prolly a local french dialect

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
i have googled it
google translates it as "swipe is great imma give her all my things"
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Hermes is also the name of the company.
Apparently terre means "land". Land by Hermes, perhaps? I don't fucking know. It just smells nice.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
it means hermes "earth" you buffoon
presumably they are going for an elemental thing - air, water, fire, earth.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Oh right, yeah.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:47, Reply)
you cheesy bell sniffer, you

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:00, Reply)
GAY

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
To quote everybody's least favourite metrosexual
"the chicks dig it".
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
You two are so alike.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Roundly hated and perennially single?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
nah, dozer's alright

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
ouch

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
sorry, low blow

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
something something polish hooker something something battered
sigh
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:44, Reply)
something something fat northern ginger slag something something Swipe

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:47, Reply)
mine was better and you something something know it

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:00, Reply)
no it something something fucking wasn't.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
Marlboro Lights, Orchard Cider and desperation.
Alt: not yet
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:22, Reply)
BARYATRIC FANNY WIPERS

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
CK in2u (yes, I know, GAY)
Akt. I've not had a run in with the boys in blue since I was a drunk and disorderly teenager
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)
yeah but seriusly, yourn gay

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
This isn't going to help my earth mother image
But according to my shower gel I should smell of neem and propolis.
No, I don't know either.
Something to do with bees, I think.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:24, Reply)
You got bukakeed by your own bee swarm

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Those are the active ingredients in Nestle milk powder.
I can't see any ethical dilemmas stemming from that.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
nestle has just marked by Oxfam as the most ethical food company in teh world
www.behindthebrands.org/en/company-scorecard
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:27, Reply)
That is not against all the other food companies in the world
Only against all the other unethical pricks.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
well yeah, but you could hardly look at them all

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
ethics are pretty boring though
all sort of.... brownish and hessian and hairy.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Wait, you mean my whole lefty-handwringing-vege-yurt-yoghurt schtick isn't leaving you damp-thighed?
Frigid bitch.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:51, Reply)
I occasionally remember to wear some of this
www.theperfumeshop.com/fcp/product/mens-fragrances/vera-wang/vera%20wang%20for%20men/7197
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:25, Reply)
You accuse me of homosexuality whilst smelling of Vera Wang?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Yes.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:27, Reply)
You are all perfume-wearing ponces.
Hope this helps.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)
That's one of six in regular rotation.
I really am a massive Judy.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:29, Reply)
I think you might make me sneeze.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:30, Reply)
I think he might make me puke.
Again.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
are you sitting next to him at needo's?
i think you should sit next to him at needo's.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
No I am going to sit on the back of your neck and fart repeatedly.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
contrary to what you look up on the internet
girls do not see that as foreplay
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
There is no way on earth I would ever want to have foreplay with you.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:38, Reply)
uh huh

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
Yeah, about that.
Like I said when I first mentioned the idea to you "I can be in town for about 8".

So you book the table for 7. Nice. Guess it's a takeaway at home for me on Wednesday :(
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Cheers, Nelson

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)
firstly i didn't book the table
secondly it's booked for 7.30 with a view to you arriving at 8ish. so stop being such a pansy little wuss and get your hairy arse down there.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
someone's on their mensie.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:45, Reply)
pffffft

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:47, Reply)
I thought she'd gone through the change, if I'm honest.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:55, Reply)
That would explain her obesity.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:00, Reply)
Secondly it's booked at 7:30 with a view to necking your food and fucking off
before I show up, more like.

I do have a hairy arse, though. Fair play.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:45, Reply)
we don't do that every time
although you did miss out on some fucking fantastic mushrooms and other nibbly bits at the last secret bash. but you got beer and pizza.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Yeah, well that time was because you chose a place
buried in a shopping centre, that was buried in a yard, that was buried down some side street in an area with shitty GPS reception thanks to it bouncing off the moneyed smugness of the Stunned-a-like inhabitants.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:49, Reply)
spitalfields is famous you ignorant little man

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
i have had the same bottle for 10 years, i don't think i wear it enough

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
It's gone off
You smell funny when you wear it.
HTH xx
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
it seems ok, but fades very quickly

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
that's because it goes off after about 6 months

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
How does someone get through one of those big bottles in 6 months?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Couple of snifters each morning?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:40, Reply)
I dunno seems excessive
I bet they all perfume their balls
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I dip mine to ensure an even coating.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
Well, you're supposed to actually wear it, you see.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:41, Reply)
i see

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
they don't give a fuck about that
they just want you to drop a hundred big men on another bottle.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)
I probably just pop into Boots each morning

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:43, Reply)
no
aftershave is very important in a man. for once dozer is right - chicks actually do dig it.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
I like my natural musk to shine through

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:39, Reply)
I have Vera Wang plates
I don't relly know why
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)
To attempt to gain the higher ground in a debate with chompy about plate quality?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Side plates or normal ones?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Both, and bowls
they weere on the wedding list. they are still in a box somewhere
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Stay about from his plates.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
pffft
wang
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:26, Reply)
I keep getting given shitty shower gel by relatives at christmas, even though I fly there and can't take any of them back
but last time my parents came they brought a carrier bag full of all the different kinds lynx, so I mostly smell of teenagers throughout the ages
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:27, Reply)
bit like bartleby

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)
CLICK

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:29, Reply)
*ker-lick*

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:30, Reply)
*applause*

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
well that was easy

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:33, Reply)
i was going to say bariatric minge wipes
but i got beaten to it.

so - daytime: jo malone lime, basil and mandarin. evening: jo malone red roses.

alt: the chocolate orange tango flavoured fizzy balls
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Another for the list of "great but unusable group names"

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
If only because The Bariatric Minge Wipes would find it hard to get airplay.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:31, Reply)
Yeah but it's given me a new meaning for BMW.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
hahaha i likes this i does

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
oh lol
"fucking mingewipe drivers!!!"
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Every time I see one now I'll be thinking...
...Baryatric Minge Wipe.
My days will be so much better for this.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Hugo Boss
Alt: No, but I've been at a few where the police were, ahem 'less than fair and impartial'.
Alt alt: Orange, natch. All other flavours are fake and gay.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)
APPLE

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:34, Reply)
NO

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
I'll have no truck with your talk of 'Apple' flavour Tango
You sir, are clearly a cad and a bounder.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
cherry

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
typical girl response

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
You've not had that for ages, surely?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:38, Reply)
i'm not a nonce

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:42, Reply)

not
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:53, Reply)
are things that bad?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
Probably

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:04, Reply)
Lets get this straight!
Cherry flavoured fizzy pop is Cherryade.
Apple flavoured fizzy pop is awful - it should be alcoholic and called cider.
Orange flavoured fizzy pop with the chance of being bitchslapped by a heavily made up cheap actor in a badly-directed advert is Tango.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Fizzy cider is awful

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:51, Reply)
I prefer it to flat cider
Flat cider just feels weird to drink
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:52, Reply)
you ghastly man

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:53, Reply)
Thats me

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:53, Reply)
Northerner being wrong at sophistication horror

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:54, Reply)
Flat cider is the new sophistication
I must have missed THAT pigeon
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:54, Reply)
it is for Kroney and his "Slough Brethren"

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Proper cider's flat.
It's companies like Strongbow that make it fizzy. Why, I don't know. Probably because it helps to mask how shitty their cider is.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:56, Reply)
The Westons I had last night was fizzy
They make decent cider
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:57, Reply)
PROPER CIDER IS FLAT

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:58, Reply)
Proper beer tastes like farts too, eh?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:59, Reply)
Lightly gassed cider (such as some types of Breton cider) are acceptable as well as flat cider.
Fizzy chemical shit is not.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Thank you

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
The same is true with lager-fizzy chemical shit is not OK.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:05, Reply)
+ burnt

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:58, Reply)
I liked it so much I put it down my face

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)
wait a fucking minute
this clown is from coventry. that is NOT a northern circus. it's the fucking midlands.

and the midlands belong to you poxy southerners, not to us proud northerners. birmingham, coventry, milton keynes, bletchley, leicester, luton - all these shitholes'm belong to YOU.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)
this^

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
Sporters is from Sunderland
EDIT: Kroney is from Coventry?!
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
I think she means The Cap'n

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Everything north of Watford is the North.
That's why they call it "North of Watford".

Idiot.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
Birmingham is closer to Manchester than London

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Oh god.
Having thrown a sickie, I might actually be coming down with something after all :/
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:32, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1884232
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Tramp spunk

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Been fucking Monty again?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Buckykakke

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Does anyone else find it surprising that despite the one and only 'power' that b3th has as a mod:
To edit posts, primarily in the instance that someone posts a MASSIVE picture on the board,
Shambo's enormous picture of Cheggers remains?
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Sorry, not surprising, the other thing:
Unsurprising.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:37, Reply)

b3ta.com/search/answers?q=%22b3th+is+a+really+good+mod%22
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:44, Reply)
I hope she bans you for this
sorry, not bans, the other thing.
Does nothing
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:46, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:50, Reply)
I dunno what I smell of,
The shower gel is mint and lime, my anti-perspirant is that Dove clear stuff. However, my clothes smell funny because ladypigs mum decided to take a load of my work shirts and wash them, as she said they weren't white enough anymore, and whatever powder she uses smells funny. Like a weird meadow.

Altalt. Not apple
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:46, Reply)
I hate other peoples washing powder
altalt: yes apple
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Whippets. pigeons and coal
Or CK One

Akt (??): I was almost arrested once for saying "mmm hotdog". Does this count?

AltAlt:
Orange
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:51, Reply)
APPLE

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Apple is nice
but orange is the clear winner here
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:53, Reply)
Alt
that depends, sporters, at the point of say "mmm hotdog" where you carrying a jerry can and walking away from a brightly burning Red Setter?
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:13, Reply)
Yes

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:15, Reply)
I just ate some popcorn and it's made me well hungry

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:00, Reply)
Flavour please?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Salted obvs

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Correct
Butter is also acceptable
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:02, Reply)
What age do you think Fat Day will hit you?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:11, Reply)
what do you mean?
these were only 110 calories for the pack and i went running at lunchtime
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:11, Reply)
+ to Macdonalds

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:13, Reply)
That's battered, he needs the calories for his hoor huntin'

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Happy Finish Meal

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:15, Reply)
I thought he was in Poland

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:16, Reply)
You know what even by my piss poor standards
that was a shit gag.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:17, Reply)
*facepalms*
Just got that
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:20, Reply)
WTN i got it AGES ago

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:21, Reply)
You always Finnish first
so Mrs Ape says
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:23, Reply)
You stay about from my misses

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:26, Reply)
I stain about your missus

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:28, Reply)
We are not angry, We are not sad
Just a bit disappointed in you
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:23, Reply)
OK "Legion"

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:33, Reply)
You know what I mean.
Not the gross, diabetes, lardy fat that poor people suffer.
That lifetime of being well-fed with rich, fattening foods, ruddy-cheeked, solid rugger-bugger fat that you poshos descend into after giving up the running at lunchtime.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:17, Reply)
Don't forget the gout
I'm planning this for my 60s
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:19, Reply)
My mate already has gout at 40

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Stunned is only 39

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:22, Reply)
did you see the thing about
the bloke having a fucking hand transplant due to gout...

Genuinely surprised me that, I knew it was painful but I didnt realise you might choose to swap out a limb because of it.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:25, Reply)
I did see that, yes
Fucking scary shit. He was a landlord or something
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:26, Reply)
altalt: Tango is shit, at a push apple is slightly less shit.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:29, Reply)
pine+

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:29, Reply)
*shakes tree*

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:30, Reply)
*drinks coffee*

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:30, Reply)
Terrible bullying :(

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:29, Reply)
No 'fence m8 soz

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:30, Reply)
APPLE!

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Thanks "Steve Jobs"

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:33, Reply)
My liver hurts :o(

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:35, Reply)
iCancer

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
BTW I smell of Czech and Speake's No.88
It's my favourite.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:30, Reply)
Sounds like a Polish passport application form

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:31, Reply)
It's a proper old skool gentleman's cologne.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
The stench of your old man nonce cologne has wilted and killed this thread
EDIT: also no wonder you're bloody broke!
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:45, Reply)
i fixed it with a new, non-smelly thread

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:52, Reply)
everytime I hear sea minerals on an advert
I hear 'semen...erals'
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
and I already smell of that

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Show off

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Has someone unloaded in your ear again?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
I'll bet you do, you randy old goat.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Goat lol.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:47, Reply)
Have you seen the goat music thing? It's the best thing on the internet.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
I bought some Beckham Instinct because I liked it, then ordered some from the phamacists who got me Intimatly Beckham instead, but I bought it anyway thinking it wouldn't be much difference.
I can't tell the difference between Intimatly Beckham and a 59p bar of generic soap.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:52, Reply)
Lychee Rubican is where the fizzy pop industry is at though

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
clearly otherwsie why would you buy it?

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
'cus its got Beckham name on or something, seriously, it smells of just soap.

(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:57, Reply)

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