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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My apple isn't very nice.
The one I had yesterday was lovely though.
Alt: That isn't a question and nor is this.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 12:55,
214 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I bought some oranges last friday which were delicious.
I bought some more today, but I haven't tried them yet.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 12:55,
Reply)
There are few things more frustrating in life than a really difficult to peel orange that turns out to be not very nice.
It's nice to be rewarded for your effort.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 12:57,
Reply)
Like the shit satsumas that you get by mid-Jan.
No juice, chewy as fuck and PIPS.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
Shove your orange up your cock end and shit out a can of tango
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:00,
Reply)
Filthy deleter.
Can he split it into individual segments first, or do you want him to shove it up there whole?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:01,
Reply)
whole or get to fuck
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:01,
Reply)
the only delicious orange
is a terry's chocolate one.
preferably that shizzle with the popping candy in its ass.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
pooping candy more like!!!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:09,
Reply)
I know a trick with popping candy
(
King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:10,
Reply)
go on
so long as it's not feeding it to momo and making him explode mid flight
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
Disclaimer: Oranges are not the only fruit.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:15,
Reply)
you can get other flavours of sunnyD?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
they should make a beef one
(
King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with 7 holiday homes.
(
Peej, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 12:56,
Reply)
Fucking cockneys.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:00,
Reply)
don't worry
soon he'll get planning permission and vp and he can turn them into 15 holiday homes with a restaurant underneath
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:00,
Reply)
I've had an orange sitting in a mug on my desk since before christmas
it's still fairly firm.
if this were a documentary about fast food this would clearly indicate fruit is evil
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 12:58,
Reply)
I made some Skittles vodka two xmases ago.
It's still sitting in the fridge now. I'm rather afraid to taste it after all this time.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:00,
Reply)
you could taste the rainbow in both directions!
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
I bet that it's drier than Thatcher's minge.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:01,
Reply)
I've not tried that cider
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:03,
Reply)
Ohhhhhhhhhh Man
Fruit woe bullying
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 12:58,
Reply)
Shove your apple up your cock end and shit out a can of apple tango
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:00,
Reply)
What sort of apple is it?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:02,
Reply)
Cox
Which sounds a bit like cocks, y'know, like penis?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
i think i'd like to go to a skrillex gig just to see what it's like
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:02,
Reply)
it's like this
weknowmemes.com/2012/01/skrillex-bee-gif/
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:03,
Reply)
haha
is that skrillex? looks like a girl in that first frame.
(
Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:06,
Reply)
HAHA!
It's funy because he dances like a bent spastic being attacked by a bee. And someone has added a bee to that gif.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
got it in one
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
he looks a lot like garth from wayne's world
I have no other opinions
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
I think there would be a lot of times when the bass drops.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:05,
Reply)
Apples are like pears but not so nice. They're pearlites really.
Everything that is Apple based would be better if pear based.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:02,
Reply)
what about girls? (apple bodies or pear bodies)
you really think a massive arse and chubby legs is better than skinny legs and a massive sweaty gunt?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:03,
Reply)
*apple fives*
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
In that respect, I'm so malnourished that I would settle for an oboejean.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
drizzled with canonbear
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:05,
Reply)
on natshows with gwakamoli
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:06,
Reply)
haha, oh man, i am laughing in the office and now i'm having to explain why to people
best. spelling. ever
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:14,
Reply)
=D
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
you are my hero, gonz
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
<3 u 2 !
I got a collection of them here:
www.paulypops.com/livingroom/dyslexia/
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
One word for you sonny
CIDER
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:03,
Reply)
Parry is nicer.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:05,
Reply)
Oh, a new Bon Jovi album came out this week.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
Yesssssssssssssssssssssss
no the other thing, no.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:10,
Reply)
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOoo would buy that?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
Monts, have a word will you, it's not showing up on my iTunes account !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
go and write it on tesco's fb page
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:03,
Reply)
go shit down your dad's leg
(
King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
Franky do you remember me?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:06,
Reply)
vaguely
is this you?

(
King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
What is she doing down there?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:09,
Reply)
scratching her crab sores
(
King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:10,
Reply)
i really hope it is
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:11,
Reply)
My oranges were lovely.
They are Sweetclems.
Turns out there's a fair bit of regulation behind that
www.freshproduce.org.uk/docs/final_briefing_fpc_members_use_of_sweetclem_fpc_collective_trade_mark.pdf
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:05,
Reply)
When I was a boy, Canadian relatives used to send us a hamper of food each Christmas.
Every year there would be these gorgeous-lookinhg massive bright red apples - which tasted like balsa wood.
Fucking rubbish. Still the oilcan of grade I maple syrup was always good, as was the blueberry jam.
True story, se'sly.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:06,
Reply)
csb
(
Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:07,
Reply)
canada sucks butt?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:12,
Reply)
red apples are shit, FACT
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
^ THIS
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:09,
Reply)
er no
braeburns. best of all teh apples.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:12,
Reply)
Red apples are gash.
mr b3th prefers braeburns as well.
You are both wrong.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:13,
Reply)
I agree with you
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:14,
Reply)
I like Breaburns, I mean those proper full on red fuckers
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:16,
Reply)
like a red delicious?
hmmm. mostly you are right, the texture can be mushy. but sometimes you find a truly glorious one, and it kicks green arse.
however, overall, BRAEBURN.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:19,
Reply)
I have Two cherry trees that produce the sweetest black cherries
The preserves that are made from them are outstanding
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
I had a little nut tree, nothing would it bear.
Save a silver nutmeg and a golden pear.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:09,
Reply)
this sounds a bit Jimmy Hill
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:10,
Reply)
I'd be happy with one of those.
I'd become a golden pear magnate.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:10,
Reply)
I gave all the fruit to the King of Spain's daughter.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:13,
Reply)
POIDH
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:13,
Reply)
Here is one of Mrs Tangle greeting the King of Spain's daughter.

(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
Shit
Well it looks as though I owe you an apology.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
S'ok Teeaitch, it is kind of hard to believe.
That's why I took the picture.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
Amazing to think that you took that on an iPhone
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
Instagram really is great is';t it?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
Bloody Instagram hipster
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
In your own time, ham-hands.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
Oops, soz bro. I should'a trusted you.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
More lies
*shakes head*
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:16,
Reply)
I have some delicious grapes
Last weeks grapes were delicious as well
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:09,
Reply)
Only seedless grapes are acceptable
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:11,
Reply)
Raisins are just grapes that missed their vocation in life; to become wine.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:12,
Reply)
i only eat raisins in fruit salad
Which sounds like some sort of gay sex act
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:13,
Reply)
It really does.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
I left my apple at home. :(
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:09,
Reply)
Aw, u ok hun?
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:13,
Reply)
Man, being back on Facebook is so funny
Wall to wall 'u ok hun?' and 'call me hun x'
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:14,
Reply)
it really is a place of cretins.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
I had a 'proper' profile about 4 years ago-ish
and ended up deleting it because I couldn't stand the constant beakering. For some reason, now I find it all highly comical. Also, the potential for trolling is substantial.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
Yeah, well I've just eaten three packs of Hula Hoops.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:14,
Reply)
BULLSHIT
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:14,
Reply)
FUCK OFF I DID AND ALL
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:17,
Reply)
Three???
Pull the other one, it's got bells on.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
ONE PLAIN, ONE S&V, ONE C&O.
I am a TITAN.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
Wow
Well I'm not kissing you, buddy. Not until you've brushed your teeth.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
but do they all fit on your fingers?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:16,
Reply)
No.
Because I've ALREADY EATEN THEM YOU DICK!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:17,
Reply)
you fucking amateur
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
I am well jel
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
I've discovered
that no matter how nice a patΓ© you have, once you put it in a sandwich, it might as well be meat paste.
Sad times.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:12,
Reply)
Pate has no place in a sandwich you beast
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:15,
Reply)
But the only other thing in the fridge for making sandwiches is cheese.
And I can't eat cheese.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:17,
Reply)
why the fuck not? Court order or something?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:19,
Reply)
teh shits
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
Cheese gives me gonz guts.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
why?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
I have no idea.
I just know that it does. So does butter, which is unfortunate.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
but not margarine? that's well weird.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:45,
Reply)
because Y is a crooked letter
and you'll never put it straight.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
this just gets worse
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:19,
Reply)
Such a shame there aren't buildings filled to the gunwhales with food,
all of which the owners are happy to give you in exchange for a small fee.
That would be really cool wouldn't it?
OR JUST HAVE PATE ON TOAST WHICH IS FINE, YOU HELM.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:19,
Reply)
If you has two pieces of toast you could make a sandwich
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
But pate is not suitable for sandwiches.
DO KEEP UP.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
where does an open sandwich fall in all of this?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
on the floor, face down
obviously
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
Between two stools, as they say.
The pate needs to be on a crunchy base - toast or crackers. The toast cannot be hot, either. I don't make the rules Gluey but I sho' nuff stand by 'em.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
Oh god, hot toast with paté is a NO.
Fo sho.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
i had pate rolls for lunch. made by my own fair hand.
s'esly.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
Liar.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
It's coincidence day, so it must be true.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
patè sounds grotesque anyway
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:16,
Reply)
You and I are pals, right?
Well you keep this SLANDER up and we won't be OK?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
google says meat paste my brain thinks spam
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
'meat paste' is what northern coalminers eat - pate is the toast or cracker topping of KINGS.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
i love chunky spicy wild mushroom pate
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
Mushrooms often make a good meat substitute but not in pate. Not dense enough.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
My missus
gets some sort of roast mushroom pate from Booths... She swears by it.
As do I, I say Fucking hell why hasnt some animal suffered for my eating pleasure
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
patê is great
I prefer the chunky patΓ«s to the smooth ones
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
That's weird - I prefer the smooth ones!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
*out of context click olol*
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
Oh shit
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
you stunning heathen
pate does not go in a sandwich.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
I know!
It's what I've been driven to.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
You have bread
you have pate. Rather than make a sandwich, which is tantamount to wearing velour tracksuits whilst shopping at Iceland, why not make toast, put the pate on it, and do this shit PROPERLY?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
I don't mind it in a sandwich,
what's wrong with meat paste anyway?
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
I'm not some kind of povvo, you know.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
I didn't know you were a miner from Barnsleh, Chomp.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
My grandad was.
TRUFAX.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
You are dead to me, YOU HEAR ME?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
Whatevs, Catweazle.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
hahaha '#wasteofspunk''
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:16,
Reply)
"What are you going to do? Knock me out like your last opponent?"
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:19,
Reply)
Haha
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
which one are you lolling about
the one who can't deal with terrible meanies online or the one who stopped using all those terrible words?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
Yeah, neither of them come across as winners in that story
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
Just the whole situation to be honest.
ONLINE DRAMA
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
I would like to see emvee calling someone out from his fiesta painted like optimus prime to be fair
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
In a totally un-upset way.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:33,
Reply)
So the apple you had yesterday was good, but today's apple was not so nice?
See? What kind of god would allow that?
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:13,
Reply)
fuck off MGT
(
King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:16,
Reply)
I'm getting pretty sick of your foul mouth, Frank
You should start treating me with some fucking respect.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
wanker
(
King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
a cunt god, that's what.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
I just want consistent apples
Is that too much to ask? I mean, REALLY.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:20,
Reply)
i thought god banned people from eating apples
isn't that the whole point of the bible, that he DIDN'T allow it?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
No, the whole point of the bible is approximately 1000 years of oppression of the masses.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
religion is the opium of the masses my arse
opium is not the right word
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:23,
Reply)
Hey, good point
You know what, I don't think this religion thing is all it's cracked up to be. There are too many questions.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
I don't even believe in God.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
Pfft
Yeah...
right
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
nah, really, this Dawkins fella wrote a different book, so I do what he says now
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
Sorry, I only read Dr Seuss and Stephen King
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
what about Dean Koontz?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
Quiet you
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:35,
Reply)
Bible my arse.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
spanking or inserting?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
Silly, 'Swipe
Bible for spanking, Koran/Talmud for inserting.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
Bible for spanking, Guru Gr'anth Sahib for wanking.
That's how *I* was raiesed anyhow.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:32,
Reply)
I see. A traditionalist.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
Quite so *Brian Sewell face*
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
There's a face you'd never tire of punching.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
I like him.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:37,
Reply)
That makes you a cunt.
Soz. I don't make the rules.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
I ain't bibling NO ONE's arse
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
So this lady walks into a shop, and she sees a magical dildo.
"What's so magical about the dildo?" asks the women, "Well, you give the magic dildo a command, and it'll do it. Make you come 6 ways 'till sunday, and it's already saturday". She buys it and takes it home.
She gets home, takes off her knickers, and goes "Magic Dildo ! Make me Cum like a madwomen" Suddenly the dildo levitates out the box, and goes right up her. She has the most amazing orgasam she's ever had, she's screaming the house down.
Little did she know, her husband was just putting the key in the door, when he heard her wife's throws of passion. He ran up the stairs and slammed open the bedroom door "WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?" he yells. "YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK THAT PONCE IS RIGHT NOW".
She tells him to calm down and relax, "You see, I bought this Magic Dildo, you give it a command and it just does it. It's amazing ! There is no one else here, honestly babes, I wouldn't do that to you.... I love you".
"What the fuck? Are you kidding me? My arse, magic dildo, my fucking arse.".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
I loved that joke when I was 8.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
I didn't realise they had jokes back in 1938.
Can I get your some ice for that sick BURN ?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:47,
Reply)
Textbook.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
*eats choccy biccie*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:47,
Reply)
I heard that Tower Hamlets council banned apples so as not to offend Muslims.
That's what I heard.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:26,
Reply)
Haha
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
Only British Apples.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
lol
Hey Monty. I'm in that London in 2 weeks.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
You shall be fed and watered like the KING you are.
And housed, should the need be.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
Do you ever find yourself round my neck of the woods, Vindus?
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
There is only 1 of our pubs in Portsmouth,
The Smith and Wesson. I've only been once. But I might make a trip when the weather cheers up.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
Nice friendly name, for a nice friendly town.
The best pub in Pompey is the Mother Shipton and when I say 'best' I mean 'best if you like having your teeth pulled out with pliers in the car park'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
That lovely little place was mentioned in Sky 1's "Britains Hardest Pubs"
So proud.
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:37,
Reply)
My Mrs is from Portsmouth.
She is the metaphorical equivalent of bringing a gun to a knife fight. Hold on, the other one, she brings guns to knife fights.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
Is she from Portsmouth
or "from Portsmouth"?
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
What's the diff?
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:43,
Reply)
Pompey birds are fucking awful
But not all girls from Portsmouth are pompey birds
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
Pompey bird, innit.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
Between that place and the Tricorn Centre you got yo'self a purdy liddle town, boah.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
Not anymore, the Tricorn's long gone
they pulled it down and replaced it with....another car park.
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
I thought it was a listed building for some insane reason
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:46,
Reply)
You do that
and fucking give me a shout. Prick.
(
Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
last time I went to Portsmouth, none of you came to say hello.
Balders ducked out, Mano was busy and you were with your stupid family. I ended up having to go for a nice romantic meal in a lovely restaurant with ladypig, instead of a mini pompey bash.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
None of that is my fault
Next time I won't be spending time with my family, that's for the sure
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Two Hats π©π©, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
is this some kind of advanced warning so monty can warn all the muslims?
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:31,
Reply)
They have 24h fatwa shops these days.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:33,
Reply)
Decapitate you at the drop of a hat.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:35,
Reply)
The police won't investigate either, which is handy.
They just don't care.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
The Old Bill are out catching real criminals.
Not all that brown honour killing shit.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:37,
Reply)
They think 'acid attack' is a dance record from '88
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
Hahahahahahaha.
Aciiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeed.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
I wish you weren't out to dinner this evening YOU SELFISH PRICK
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
I know. I am a terrible cunt.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:44,
Reply)
Don't sell youself short. You are a quite jaw-dropping cunt.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:45,
Reply)
Apples dont feature in that part of the bible
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
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